


Overstimulated

by PrincessStevens



Series: The Overstimulated Universe [1]
Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Erik Killmonger Lives, F/M, I'll add tags as I write, POC Centric, Panic Attacks, Poetry, Redemption!Erik, Slow Burn, Supportive Female Friendships, WOC!Character, Women In Power, gratuitous flirting, i dont even know yall, mentions of past emotional abuse, mentions of past physical abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-04-27 14:38:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 140,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14427609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessStevens/pseuds/PrincessStevens
Summary: Aurora, a poet, is having a hard time getting over the writer’s block shes been going through and her deadline is currently coming up. Her new neighbor moves into the apartment across the hall from her and unknowingly becomes her muse.





	1. Stimulation

**Author's Note:**

> I am not a poet (shit I’m barely a writer) so none of the poems in this story are mine unless otherwise stated. I also own none of these characters except for Aurora, Jade, Kailoni and Tosha.

**Stimulation**

(poem by Rupi Kuar from  _milk and honey_ )

Aurora wrapped her hands around her warm mug as she watched the moving team unload the truck and stack boxes with painstaking care. She was finally getting a new neighbor. The apartment across the hall from her had been vacant for five months since Rebecca moved out.

She missed Rebecca.

Ok, so she didn't _miss_ Rebecca as much as she missed having a neighbor in general. Rebecca was...messy. Different men in and out of her life, couldn't hold a steady job and relied heavily on her parents paying for most of her expenses. She was loud, annoying and always asking to borrow condiments she would never return. But she was..interesting and made Aurora’s boring and monotonous life a little less boring and monotonous.

The distinct noise of a heavy box hitting the pavement pulled her back to the present and the scene below her window.

“Watch what you’re doing girl!” one of the workers, a short fat white man, face red from the high afternoon sun, yelled at a clumsy girl who quickly grabbed the small and now slightly dented box and scurried up the stairs. This moving team had been there since five am unloading what seemed like endless boxes and furniture out of the bed of the large truck. Aurora was cranky as hell because of the early ass wake up call but had been watching them all day with amusement. At least they were kind of entertaining.

She sighed and took a sip of her Moroccan mint tea wondering what kind of person her neighbor was to employ such a large team of people to move in, and set up by the sounds coming from across the hall, their apartment for them.

The muted vibration of her cell phone ringing broke off her overly-imaginative mind. _That Bitch Jade_ flashed across the screen. Aurora rolled her eyes good naturedly and swiped over to pick up the call. “Helloooo?”

“Heeeeeyyy biiiiiitch!” Jade greeted exuberantly.

Aurora smiled despite herself. Jade was her best friend-turned-editor and the complete opposite of herself. Where Aurora was meek, Jade was bold. But that’s the thing she loved about her. Their friendship gave her a sense of excitement that was much needed the past few months.

“Hey J, wassup?” Aurora turned from the scene outside and walked toward her kitchen island.

“Ok, business first,” Jade said in her no-bullshit tone dragging a groan out of Aurora. She _hated_ the business talk. “Don’t make that sound bitch, if you just send over some new shit we wouldn’t have to have this conversation. Your deadline is in six weeks girl,” she paused, her voice going much softer, switching from her editor to her best friend seamlessly. “You gotta give us something, Ari.”

Aurora sat on one of the stools, bending over to press her head into the cool recycled glass top of her island. “I knooow,” she huffed. She had been very actively trying but nothing evoked any kind of emotion in her anymore. She refused to let herself go back to the dark space she inhabited when she pumped out her last book at a dizzying speed. Never again.

“I’ve just been having some serious writer’s block, J. It’s like someone stuffed a Popeye’s biscuit in my brain and it sopped up all my creative juices.”

Jade laughed, “Well that was creative as hell.”

“You know what I mean, Jade,” Aurora whined. “Nothing is inspiring me anymore. My life is just too damn boring.”

“It’s probably cause your ass stays cooped up inside all day. What you need to do is smoke some weed or get some dick. Shit, do both!”

“Jade!” Aurora laughingly chastised her.

“What? Bitch, you know it's true! It's been what? Almost a year since Michael? It’s time to move on girl.”

Aurora grimaced. She didn't want to think about Mike. His betrayal still cut her to the quick and she still didn’t have it in her to open up to anyone again, if at all.

“Nah, I’m good,” she sniffed disdainfully, a sign that she was completely _closed off_ to the topic of Mike and her nearly non-existent love/sex life.

Jade sighed into the phone and changed tactics. “Well, I’m going to NV tonight if you want to come. Tosha and Kailoni are coming too if you're down,” her voice full of hope.

Aurora hadn’t seen her girls in awhile. It would be nice to go out with them and just forget things for a bit. When she was with them it was like she could be herself, she was safe and didn't care what about anyone around her. Her girls were the fucking best. But the stack of bills taking up space in the fruit bowl next to her glared at her mockingly and she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Royalties were sparse from her last book and her budget was getting tighter and tighter. “Nah girl, I really do need to work tonight.”

“Shit, you right,” the editor began seeping back into Jade’s tone. “But Ari, you also need to live. Take a walk, get some fresh air. It may help you write a little more.”

The caring tone in her best friend’s voice curled the corners of her lips. “That sounds like a good idea actually. I’ll try it. Have fun tonight and tell those bitches I love and miss them.”

Jade chuckled, “Will do girly. Talk to you later. Mwah!” Jade smacked a kiss into the phone’s receiver.

The line disconnect and Aurora pressed the phone to her breast. She really did want to see them but duty called.

There was another loud noise from her window.

“What the hell did I say, girl?” The booming voice of the man from before barreled through her window and felt like it reverberated the walls. “He’s paying us a shit ton of money here and I refuse to let your ass be the reason we lose this contract. You can’t handle the box? Don't lift it! Now, go to lunch!”

 _He, huh?_ Ari thought, twirling a piece of the coily hair that framed her face around her finger and let the thought of a male neighbor roll around on her mind.

 _It’ll be a change of pace at least_ she thought as she poured out her tepid tea and walked over to shut her window.

Lunch sounded like a great idea. She grabbed her journal, headphones, keys and her wallet, slipped her ballet flats on and headed out to her favorite coffee shop for a sandwich and some people watching. Hopefully someone else’s life could give her the inspiration her own failed to deliver.

* * *

Aurora stretched her arms to the sky and groaned. She probably shouldn't have stayed curled up in that armchair for that long. She’d sat in the back of Joe’s for a few hours waiting for someone interesting to come in and be her muse but it was just the regulars; construction workers from the project at town hall, community college kids stressing over spring midterms and corporate worker bees in need of their daily caffeine fix to survive their humdrum nine to five. She spun stories for each one of them in her head; giving them crazy families, drug addictions and unusual kinks, but no one lit that spark she needed to write. Before she knew it, the shop was closing up and her opportunity was shot.

The sun was setting, fleeting colors of the dusk beginning to fade away fast. The walk was nice. She loved this time of day where the afternoon folded softly into night time, but she still didn’t feel _inspired_.

By the time she made it to her building, she was feeling like shit. She was never going to meet her fucking deadline if she couldn’t fucking write anything. Maybe...she _should_ think about Mike. The darkness that surrounded their relationship always spilled itself onto paper well. Even if it was volatile and overly verbose, it sold because it was real and raw. It was her flayed open and bleeding for the entire world to see.

She sighed heavily, her career was not worth her mental stability.

“What the fuck do you mean you left it on the table?” The sharp and deep voice broke her out of her dark thoughts. At the top of the steps was easily the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Dressed in dark jeans, a fitted tee artfully torn in places she knew had to be designer and a fresh pair of Jordans stood the six foot brown god. The setting sun bathing him in gold and glinting off his canines. He was pulling on his short dreads at the top of his head, looking more and more agitated as he listened to whoever was on the end of his call.

His voice dropped down to a dangerous level, lip curling in anger, “Then how the fuck do you expect me to get into the building, Mario? I paid you to do one fucking job and you couldn't even do that.”

She was rooted to the spot. His voice did... _things_ to her insides, stirring feelings that she long thought dead.

The man blew air out of his cheeks and scrubbed his hand roughly down his face as he turned towards her. She was filled with the inexplicable urge to hide from him. Her flight or fight sense kicking into overdrive as he turned, the inevitability of him spotting her unabashed staring spurring her into action. She turned slowly, as to not call attention to herself. Her movements were entirely too slowly because the next things she knew he was staring directly at her. He looked at the door and back to her, putting together the scene before him.

Hanging up on “Mario” without another word, he strolled over to her, swagger and danger dripping from every step and lighting her up. “Wassup shorty, you live in this building?” Aurora nodded slowly before she could think it through causing the man to smile. “The guy moving me in left my damn key fob for the front door on the table _inside_ my apartment.”

Aurora snorted inelegantly, the extra energy pulsing through her from her anxiety spurring her to talk before she could stop herself. “That’s really fucking helpful.” She covered her mouth in embarrassment. _Way to fucking go, Ari now you look like a fucking idiot._

“Yeah, fucking tell me about it. Mind letting me in?” He smiled wide at her, his plump lips pulling across his straight and unfairly fucking white teeth. And the fucking gold. She always had a weakness for a man with a mouth full of shine.  **And** he had dimples!

“Uh, sure,” she said lamely, scanning her fob and holding the door behind her for him until what he said clicked into place. “Wait, _you're_ 12A?” she spun around to look at him. Fuck, he was her new neighbor?!

He chuckled again looking down at her as they walked over to the bank of elevators. “Yeah why, wassup? You my neighbor or something?”

“Yeah, actually,” she grinned and pressed the call button, the elevator to their right opening immediately.

“Well, I’m a lucky ass nigga to have such a cute neighbor then,” he said with ease, smiling down at her as he hit the button for their floor.

He thought she was cute? She looked him up and down quickly, taking stock of the small keloidal scars that decorated his arms. _What’s his story?_

“Erik Stevens,” he said, extending his hand in greeting ignoring her staring like it was something he was used to.

She grasped his hand, her skin humming in pleasure at the touch. His hand was big, warm and covered in small calluses. She immediately found herself wondering what it would feel like slipping up her skirt to grip her thigh. Her heart quickened.

_Damn girl, calm the fuck down his hands are just warm that’s all._

His slightly quirked eyebrow let her know she’d been holding his hand entirely too long and had yet to respond.

“A-Aurora Green,” she stuttered out, removing her hand and gripping the end of her skirt. The warmth of his touch still zinging through her veins.

His full lips quirked up into a sly smile. “Aurora? Like Sleeping Beauty?”

She rolled her eyes and nodded. She hated her name. “My mom is a bit of a Disney freak. Sleeping beauty was her favorite growing up. Then she had me at dawn and all her wishes came true.” She could feel her cheeks heating up in embarrassment. Why was she even explaining this shit to him?

His deep chuckle filled the cab and her stomach tightened at the sound. What the hell was happening to her?! Getting turned on by a laugh! The doors opened and they both exited, Aurora walking a little faster than normal. She wanted to get inside the safety of her apartment and away from Mr. My-Voice-Makes-You-Wet Stevens.

His voice stopped her, “Well, thank you for helping me out downstairs.” Aurora turned to look at him. He was standing in the middle of the hall between his door and her own, eyes directly on her. Her mouth went dry, fuck he was beautiful. She nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak and he smirked at the silence. “I hope I see your cute ass around more,” he smiled at her his gold fangs shining in the soft light of the hall and started backing up towards his door. “Goodnight, Princess.”

Before she could respond his door was closing with a soft clack. She blinked into the empty space trying to figure out what fuck had just happened.

She scurried into her apartment, closing the door and leaning against it trying to catch her breath.

What the fuck was wrong with her? She was being irrational. He was just her fucking neighbor and no man ever had her feeling this riled up from just a look before. Not since Michael.

She blew out a frustrated breath, walking over to her coffee table and throwing down her things. Images of the sun lighting up his skin coming to mind. Without thinking, she grabbed her journal up and pulled out her favorite pen, the words bouncing around in her head in staccato demanding to come out.

  
_i know i_

_should crumble_

_for better reasons_

_but have you seen_

_that boy_

_he brings_

_the sun to_

_it’s knees_

_every night_

 

She blinked at the page and closed her journal, sinking down into the plushness of her couch feeling that sense of calmness that always came after she wrote. Well, maybe she’s found her inspiration after all…

* * *

 Leave me a comment loves.


	2. Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: This still very much a slow burn, cussing, use of the n word and me shitting on some of your favorite animes.
> 
> Suggested Listening: While We're Young by Jhene
> 
> I also own none of these characters except for Aurora, Jade, Kailoni and Tosha.

**Trip**  

(poem by Rupi Kuar from  _milk and honey)_

Since Erik moved into his apartment, Aurora hadn’t seen nor heard much from him. He left early in the morning, most of the time before six am, and returned well after five in the evening...not that she was watching him or anything.

What she _did_ do was start writing new material like crazy. In the span of week, Aurora had written eight poems and sent them over to Jade for review and editing; all of them had inspired by Mr. Stevens in some way; his enigmatic aura, bright smile, warm hands, dark eyes. He had sparked something in her and now even the most fleeting thought of him and those deep dimples had her pen flying. Words spilled out of her before they could be tamed, exposing her desire to understand and **experience** him.

She popped another grape in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully and read over her latest work.

 

_i want your hands_

_to hold_

_not my hands_

_your lips_

_to kiss_

_not my lips_

_but other places_

 

She had been sitting on this piece for a few hours. It was _good_ but full of a sexual energy she hadn’t known for quite some time, and the thought of another’s eyes looking this closely at her desires had her tapping her fears into the side of her bowl.

“Just send the shit over, Ari, stop being a fucking dork about it,” she mumbled to herself before she hit the send button on the email.

She immediately closed her laptop, resting her head on the lid breathing a deep breath of relief. With that piece, she now had a total of 53 poems for her next anthology. She was excited about work again and feeling lighter than ever.

Turning on her bluetooth speaker, she queued up her newest playlist “12A” -  don’t fucking judge her - and began dancing around her apartment; her hips swaying softly to the _While We’re Young_ by Jhené Aiko.

_Cause it’s been another perfect day with ya/Wanna lay with ya/Spend the night with ya/Then spend my life with ya,alright/Yeah, you heard me right/I’ll go everywhere you go._

Aurora spun in soft circles around her apartment, sweeping her hands down her body and smiling to herself. She wanted to keep the soft feeling in her heart, the lightness in her steps and warmth in her soul forever. She’d spent so much time in a dark headspace that she forgot how good it felt to be happy. Even if the cause of her happiness was a person she would probably never be with. It was just nice to _feel_ again.

The music was cut short as the annoying iPhone ringtone cut in, blaring through her speaker. She kissed her teeth and walked back over to her coffee table, annoyed at the intrusion but one glance at the name had her smiling.

 “Heeeeyyyyy biiiiiiitch,” Aurora smiled into the receiver beating her to her intro.

 “Girl, now you _know_ that’s my line!” Jade laughed at her.

 “I know! But I just thought I’d try it out on you so you could hear how fucking annoying it is,” Aurora laughed back sitting on her couch.

 “Mmhmm, you know you love it. That’s why ya ass always smiles when I greet you,” she could hear her smugness through the phone. Aurora shrugged despite Jade not being able to see it and made a vague noise of agreement. “Exactly. “ Jade’s voice was _definitely_ smug this time.

Aurora kissed her teeth again but with no fire behind it. “Whatever! What you want bitch?”

“Ooooooh _fiesty_!” Jade said with a purr that caused Aurora to bust out laughing. “I was calling because I just read your last piece and I’m tryna figure out what nigga got you in your feelings like this!”

An image of Erik smiling down at her flashed immediately through her mind and Aurora cleared her throat, sitting up in on the couch.

“What, girl? I just thought of it this morning when I was eating cereal.” The explanation sounded flat and fake to her own ear.

Ok, so that wasn’t a _lie_ . The inspiration _did_ come to her when she was eating her Cocoa Puffs.  What she didn’t tell Jade was that she started thinking about dimples that were deep enough to substitute her bowl. But she ain’t need to know that.

“Cereal?” Jade asked, skepticism dripping from her tongue and not impressed at all by her weak lie. “So, you gone tell me who this nigga is oooooor am I going to have to come and over and force it out of you?”

Ari groaned, stretching across her couch and pushing her face into one of the decorative pillows. “It really was the cereal?” she tried again pitifully. She wasn’t ready to talk about the way Erik made her feel. Her mind had been shying away from the topic the last few days.

“Bet. I’m coming over now so order the chinese food and I’ll bring th-”

Aurora shot up from the pillow, back ramrod straight. “Wait, no! Ok, I’ll tell you, damn chill.”

Jade chuckled. “Spill bitch.”

Aurora speared her fingers through her crazy hair, wash day was coming up and she honestly didn’t feel the need to tame her crazy coils.

How was she even going to say this? She _knew_ Jade’s nosy ass was going to deploy the message out to the girls and they were going to begin interfering any way they knew how. In truth, there was nothing to even _tell_. The emotions Erik’s presence evoked in Aurora weren’t his fault. He had just moved into his new place and he didn't need her nor her bothersome girlfriends forcing their way into his life. Even if it was done in good faith

Jade cleared her voice and Aurora knew she was running out of time and options. So, half-truths it was.

“He’s a new guy in the building.”

“Oh?” Jade asked, voice perky with interest. “You finally got a new neighbor?”

“Uh, no not exactly. I think he moved into that apartment on the 8th floor,” Aurora said quickly. Shutting her eyes and praying Jade took the bait.

“The one next to Fred’s crazy cat loving ass? Zaaaamn they finally got someone to move in there? It always smells like hot ass and cat piss.”

Aurora laughed loud and long. Fred Thompson was the resident crazy cat lady...only he was an old man. Fred was the great uncle of her landlord and was only tolerated because he was the oldest living relative of their family. No one who moved in across from him lasted more than three months. Most broke their leases and moved in two. But he was a nice guy. He just smelled to high hell. Aurora believed the landlord, Jerry, secretly hoped he’d die soon so they can renovate the apartment and stop losing business. White people were morbid as hell sometimes.

“Yeah, the one and only. So he’ll _probably_ only be here for a little bit.”Aurora supplied, biting her lip. For a writer she was _shit_ at lying.

“Ok, but what’s that got to do with the sexually charged work you been sending over recently?” Jade’s voice was back to being skeptical. “He dicking you down or something? Is _Fred_ dicking you down?”

Aurora pulled the phone away from her ear to glare at her friend’s laughter. “Bitch you know that’s nasty as hell.”

“I’m just saying.” Jade said through her laugh.  “So is it the new guy’s dick ooor….?”

Aurora couldn't believe her friend. “He only moved in a few days ago _Jade!”_

“And I know bitches who get dick sooner than that _Aurora!”_ Jade mimicked back. “I’m saying, yo ol’ uptight ass needs someone to scoop you out. And, from the stuff you been sending over, I figured 8B might be doing it for you. Or 8A...”

Aurora sighed deep and dramatic and ignored the second part of that sentence. “ _No,_ I am _not_ getting dick from some nigga that moved in the building _six fucking day ago_!” She may have screeched her last few words.

“Oooooh, so you keeping tabs on this dude?? You _are_ interested!” Jade exclaimed, clapping her hands in the background.

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” Aurora said, getting up to go to her kitchen to make some tea. She could feel a headache building at the base of her skull.

“So you ain’t denyin’ the shit then? You remembered exactly _when_ this nigga moved in. You keepin tabs. You interested as hell!”

“No I’m not, I’m a writer, J. I pay attention to details and shit. It’s kinda part of my job,” Aurora deflected, switching hands to fill her electric kettle with water and putting it on the dock to heat.

“Mmmhmm. You in denial sis, it’s cool,” Jade said, leaving no room for argument. “Well, _whatever_ he’s doing he needs to keep it up. If you continue writing at this rate you’ll reach your deadline actually on time for once.”

"Yeah, thanks Jade. You’re a true friend,” Aurora said voice comically flat.

“Awwwww. Don’t be like that boo boo bear. You know I love ya.” Jade paused. "Soooo?”

“Soooo what?” Aurora asked pulling out her box double bergamot earl grey tea out the cabinet, taking out a bag and dropping it in her mug.

“What this nigga look like?!”

Aurora rolled her eyes again and grabbed her kettle of the base before it started screaming, pouring the hot liquid into her mug. “He look like a nigga.”

“Really bitch!?” Jade huffed. “You expect me to believe that’s the best your descriptive ass can come up with given the way you describe him in your work?”

“Then you obviously don't need me to tell you then do you?” She picked her mug up and sat at one of the barstools to wait for it to steep. “I’m just trying to figure out why this even matters.”

“Because he got ya ass all hot and bothered on paper!  I’m ya bestfriend and I’m just looking out for yo stank ass.”

“Are you though? Or you just being nosy?”

“Whatever,” Jade said smacking her lips. “Fine, you wanna be like that? Cool. Imma remember this shit.”

“Uh huh. Bye Jade.”

“Later, _Ari!”_ The line beeped obnoxiously in her ear.

Aurora dropped her phone on the counter and Jhené’s melodic voice filled the apartment again. She rubbed at her temples.. This wasn’t as big of a deal as Jade was trying to make it seem. Her attraction to Erik was normal, _healthy_ even. Yes, it was perfectly normal to experience what she was going through. And she wasn’t complaining because it was helping her work. She did feel slightly guilty for lying to Jade but she didn’t need her best friend sticking her nose in this. She had no plans to pursue anything with Erik, so why get all worked up? Besides he was so damn out of her league it wasn't funny.

“Why am I thinking about this?” Aurora growled out in frustration to herself. She got up, busying herself with doctoring up her tea and pushed Erik Stevens and her conversation with Jade to the furthest corner of her mind.

* * *

Aurora sat in the middle of her bed looking over the pieces she’d written today a frown deep set on her ochre face. They felt... _forced._ The headache that started building during her phone call with Jade a few hours ago spread until it was beating a tattoo into the sides of her skull.

She snapped her journal closed and tossed it to the side, laying back on her throw pillows and staring at her faux star cover ceiling.

She knew she needed to get out of her apartment but she didn’t feel like moving. She knew she was being melodramatic but she felt that she deserved to be. Honestly, she didn’t even have a need to go out that would even tempt her to get out of bed.

_Maybe washing my hair will get me out of this funk._

She pulled herself off the bed and set out to her bathroom linen closet to get the base ingredients for her hair mask.

“Shit! Am I out of aloe vera leaf?” She gathered up her mixing bowl, combs and oil to take to the kitchen. Opening her fridge she saw the end of her aloe vera was a little too old to use for her mask. “Ugh, _fuck,_ I guess I have to go to the store now.” She turned toward her room but the shrill ring of her intercom system stopped her in her tracks.

“Who the fuck is this?” She glanced over at the digital clock on her stove, the blue lights telling her it was 7:43 pm. She wasn’t expecting anyone at this time..or at all.

 _Maybe it was a mistake?_ She thought, turning back to her room when the intercom rang out two more times in quick succession.

“Ok, what the fuck?” she grumbled walking over to the device and pressed the call button. “Hello,” her voice dripped with annoyance. Whoever this was about to get cussed all the way the fuck out!

“Hey, it’s Erik,” Aurora froze eyes going wide. His voice sounded even deeper than she remembered.

“What up,” she said after clearing her throat. “You locked out again?”

He chuckled, “Nah, Princess. I’m not locked out. I was about to head out to the grocery store and pick up a few things when I realized I don’t even know where the nearest one is. I figured you could help me out,” his voice was so smooth and confident. “Wanna take a ride with me?”

“Oh! Uhhhh…,” she looked down noting her ratty shorts and threadbare t-shirt. She didn’t even want to _think_ about the state of her hair.

“It’s cool if you’re busy,” he came back after she took too long to answer. Was his voice….disappointed?! “I know this is out of the blue and shit and I can always just goog-”

“What? No no. I’m down!” Aurora rushed out trying to shut down his train of thought. “J-just give me a minute to throw something on and I’ll be down soon.”

“Aight cool,” the smile was back in his voice. _Damn_. “Don’t take too long.”

“Yeah, yeah!” She heard his chuckle before she hit the end button.

Aurora didn’t exactly sprint back to her room but it was a near thing.

“Shit shit shit shit shit shit,” she said pulling things out her closet. She needed something that was cute but didn’t convey she tried too hard. She shimmied out of her clothes, replacing them with a plain black sleeveless crop top and her favorite high-waisted _Fashion Nova_ shorts. Running into the bathroom, she cringed at her hair. “Ooooh fuck!” Adding a quick twist to the side, she sprayed the rest with her leave-in conditioner/water mixture to try and tame the madness.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” she muttered sliding on her socks into her foyer to put on her small satchel purse, pull on her burgundy Chuck Taylor’s and grab her favorite black and white flannel. The intercom rang out again and her heartbeat quickened. She smashed the button, “I’m coming damnit!” she yelled and pulled her keys off the hook, slamming the door behind her.

Aurora opted to run down the stairs instead of waiting for the elevators. She paused at the bottom of the steps, bending over to grab her knees and catch her breath.

_Why the hell am I rushing?_

She straightened her back, took a deep breath and opened the door to the building just in time to see Erik descending the stairs.

Aurora pursed her lips. “Damn, you bout to leave a girl?” She popped her hip and did her best to put an annoyed look on her face.

Erik turned around to face her. _Ffffuuuccckkk, why he gotta look like this!_ He was dressed in a pair of grey basketball shorts and a red hoodie with a map of Africa on the front. _Lost Tribe?_ Her eyes flicked to his face.

“You were taking forever. What you had to sew the clothes together before you put them on?” He walked up to her as she was coming down the stairs. She stopped on the second to last one so that she way eye to eye with his tall ass.

“Really nigga? You gave me like ten minutes and then just gave up on me!” She crossed her arms over her chest and mock glared at him.

“All you needed was seven minutes to get dressed, Princess. Whatchu do with the other three? File ya nails?” he asked narrowing his eyes playfully and mimicking her stance.

His big body mirroring her female pose forced a laugh out of her and she pushed on his arm before walking around him. “What _ever,_ yo. Let’s go.” Aurora turned down the street towards the corner market.

“I thought we were driving?” Erik asked making her turn around. His body was tilting toward the parking lot and what she believed was his shiny red Acura NSX. She whistled long before she could stop herself causing Erik to smile smugly. “C’mon, let’s take a ride.” He turned around and trailed towards his car, making the decision for her.

Aurora followed him, her body drawn to his like a magnet. She took a moment to appreciate his physique. Long toned legs, wide shoulders that funneled down to his tapered waist, a cute bubble butt. She bit her lip as her body hummed with desire. _Fuck. Cut the shit Ari._

Erik unlocked the car and walked around the passenger side, opening the door for her to get it.

“T-thank you,” she stuttered out, slipping into the low vehicle as he closed the door behind her. She immediately knew this was a _huge mistake._ For one the car, although long, was very small inside. Extremely close quarters. And two, the entire vehicle smelled _just like his cologne._ Black pine and oak moss; a combination that was dark, woodsy and dangerous. She was taking deep breaths trying to pull the smell of him in and commit it to memory when he got in the car.

She quickly attempted to look nonchalant. She wasn't sure how successful she was but if Erik found anything out of the ordinary he didn’t say anything. He buckled his seat belt, started the car and pulled out of the space with an ease Aurora envied.

“Where we off to, girl?” He asked, braking at the exit of the parking lot waiting for directions.

“Uhhh…” Shit, she hadn’t thought of this far. She had fully expected them to walk to the corner market to get something quick. The smell of him filling her brain was not helping either. She shook her head minutely to regain some thought and looked up to find him looking at her patiently. “Was there anything you needed specifically?”

“Nah, any supermarket will do,” he said scratching his chin lightly.

“Ok, I know a place nearby then.”

“Whatever you say, Princess.”

Aurora gave him the first set of direction and he pulled out into traffic. She cocked her head to the side and studied his profile in the lights of the passing street lamps, trying to force the pensive look she knew she was sporting off her face.

He noticed, glancing over at her. “What?” he asked.

She pursed her lips before asking, “You don’t even remember my name do you?”

He scoffed. “Wow, you really think I’m some aint shit nigga, huh?”

She jolted slightly, not expecting his reaction to her words. “Nah I didn’t mean it lik-”

“It’s Aurora,” he interjected her slight panic attack. “How you think I’m gonna forget some shit like that?”

She shrugged sitting back in her seat and looking forward. “You just...call me a lot of nicknames so I just thought..” She finished with a lame lift of one shoulder, feeling deflated.

The car slowed to a stop at a red light and Erik turned to face her causing her to do the same automatically.

“You didn’t seem too happy with your name when you first told me, so I figured I’d stay away from it.”

Aurora stared at him. _He_ noticed _that?_ The light changed before she could say anything and he pulled eyes from hers, his attention back on the road. She was quiet for a time then, only speaking to give him directions. The silence had a slight charge to it; not uncomfortable but not unnoticed.

“My friends call me Ari,” she spoke softly into the space between them.

Erik glanced at her from the side of his eye, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel. “Oh yeah? That’s what we are? Friends?”

She huffed at him, turning all the way to face him again. “You dragged me from apartment past 8 PM to go grocery shopping with you. Shit, we _better_ be.”

Erik barked out a laugh and lifted on finger from the wheel. “First, I didn’t _drag_ you anywhere, ma. You came. Willingly.” Her belly fluttered traitorously at his words and the double entendre of them. He lifted another finger from the wheel. “Secondly, what the hell does the time have to do with anything?”

She twisted back around in her seat, checking to make sure they were still going the right way. “I’m a grandma.” He snorted a laugh at her words making her smile. “Fareal! I be in bed with no bra on, eating ramen by like 9:30.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked his eyes slipping over to her with his trademark sly grin on his face. “Noted.”

Aurora's cheeks began to heat. “Whatever!” She wanted to slap her cheeks to get her blush to just _go the fuck away._ “It’s going to be on the right past this light.”

He hummed, following her directions, pulling into the parking lot of _Albertsons_ and snagging a spot right in front near the entry. They both exited the car and walked up to the store, Erik grabbing a basket on the way in.

“What did you need from here anyway?” Ari asked trailing behind him a bit, as her eyes adjusted to the bright interior.

“I was about to make penne vodka when I realized I didn’t have any pasta left,” he paused in the aisle looking at the different brands.

“Wait wait,” Aurora said, coming around to look up into his handsome face. “You _cook!”_ He turned, giving her a _really nigga_ face before selecting his pasta and walking down the aisle. She raced around him to block him off with her palms out in apology. “Nah, I didn't mean it like that. I’m just shocked. Most of the people in my life can’t cook. Hell, _I_ can't!”

He looked down at her and smiled in appeasement at her explanation. Slinging an easy arm around her shoulders he turned her and continued his shopping. “Yeah, shorty, I can cook.” His arm was a heavy weight on her shoulders but she didn’t mind at all.

They continued around the store that way. Talking about their favorite dishes which turned into their favorite take out spots - Aurora preferred Domino’s pizza to most which Erik thought was straight _trash -_ which somehow began a conversation about best Netflix shows. The whole time his arm never left her shoulders longer than it took him to grab what he needed and put it in his basket.

By the time they made it to the cash register, Erik’s basket holding a few more items than pasta, they were having a **heated** debate about anime.

“Tha fuck do you mean _Yu Yu Hakusho_ is better than _InuYasha_?” Aurora asked in disgust, her face a picture of horror.

“It had a better plot and didn't need an OVA to fix the ending like _InuYasha_ did.”

Ok, he had her there. The series version of the ending was fucking terrible and need redemption.

“Whatever, you clearly know _nothing_ about anime so why are we even talking about this?”

"Oh _I_ know nothing? This, coming from a girl that thinks _Jojo's Bizarre Adventure_ is quality shit. Nah, you got it fucked up, girl.” Erik shook his head in mock disgust and started unloading his items onto the belt.

"Whatever, Jojo’s is good. You fucking trippin’,” Aurora said, adding a Snicker to his items and poked her tongue out at him.

He chuckled and paid for the groceries. Before Aurora knew it, they were back in his car on the way back to their building. Conversation flowed freely this time. Talks about music and video games filled the space with a happy energy that had Aurora on a high. Erik was _fun._ She was glad she came out with him tonight, it was the distraction she needed.

“You need to invest in an Xbox, ma,” Eric said to her as he pressed the call button for the elevator.

Aurora stuffed the end of her candy bar in her mouth, completely comfortable around him. “Why?” she asked around her mouth full of chocolate, chewing messily. “Ain't nothing wrong with my PS4, Stevens.”

Erik put his hands up in surrender. “Ok, damn don't kill me with that wad of chocolate in your mouth,” he chuckled.

She rolled her eyes and pushed past him as the doors opened, slowly walking to her door.

“Hey,” he called out. She turned to look at him. He was standing in front of his door head cocked slightly to the side. “You want some food? I bought extra chicken just in case.”

Aurora paused holding her breath. _Did_ she want to go over to his place? _Fucking yes she did._ But she knew that it was a dangerous move. She barely survived the trip to the store without spontaneously combusting. She glanced at his door and back at him. His eyes held mischief and his lips were quirking up into that smirk. She also knew that she would more than likely be getting more than food. And, while that prospect was appealing as fuck to her, it also scared her. The fact that she knew she would willing give her body over to this man if he even looked like he was going to fix his mouth to ask _frightened the shit_ out of her. And Erik didn’t strike her as the type to ask. He **took** and the excitement of that eclipsed her fear completely. No, this was not good.

She swallowed hard and relectutanly shook her head. “Nah, I really am tired and I still need to wash my hair tonight.” Erik’s eyes tracked her face and Aurora felt bare in front of him. He looked at her for a minute before his mouth ticked up again and he backed up towards his door.

“Alright shorty, maybe next time.”

She nodded lamely, “yeah next time. Goodnight Erik.”

“Goodnight Ari.”

She smiled at him and the use of her nickname meekly and slipped into her apartment without a backward glance, pressing herself against the door until she heard his close.

“Oh my goooooooood,” she moaned into her hands. She was fucking kicking herself. She had just passed up the chance to see that fine ass man cook food and the chance to _eat_ said food. There was also the promise of what she knew would some dick but she _wasn’t_ thinking about that right now.

Her stomach growled in response to the thought of food and she glared down at it.

“Fucking traitor,” she whispered walking over to her kitchen to put her things down and hunt for some edible. It was then that she spotted all of her abandoned hair tools.

“Fuck! I forgot my aloe vera leaf!”

* * *

  _drop a comment loves xo_


	3. Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: SLOW BURN (im going to mention this everytime so yall know), mild anxiety attack, ALL OF THE FLUFF YALL, cussing, use of the n word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please disregard the timestamps at the top of their text messages. The generator would not allow me to edit that section and it annoyed TF out of me.
> 
> Suggested Listening: Yours, Alina Baraz; Tadow, Masago & FKJ; Foreplay, Jalen Santoy

**Yours**

  


Since their trip to the supermarket, Aurora and Erik had been basically attached at the hip. Phone numbers were exchanged during a run in at the front of the building the next morning. Since then, it felt like there wasn’t a time they weren’t talking to each other. Not that Aurora was _complaining_ . Erik was wickedly witty and incredibly smart. It was easy to talk to him and Aurora found herself seeking his attention more and more. She felt _safe_ around him and he seemed to genuinely like her company and her conversations. He sought her out more than she expected as well, texting her throughout the day and initiating plans, but she just chalked that up to their fast growing friendship and close proximity to one another.

They made plans to watch one of Erik’s favorite animes, _One Punch Man,_ Thursday night after he finished his day. She agreed but only after she made him promise to watch _Death Note_ with her after.

 _“I looked that shit up and it has a trippy ass premise. A notebook where you can kill anyone whose face you know if you write their name and cause of death? No one should have that power.” He paused, picking up his sandwich before looking up at her, face serious. “Or maybe someone_ should. _Fuck wait, let me get that shit. I’ll kill Trump’s stupid ass and do us all the favor.” Erik said, biting into his turkey club aggressively. Aurora had finally managed to bring him to Joe’s on Wednesday with the promise of buying him lunch. Of course he didn’t actually let_ _her_ pay _for the lunch but, whatever._

 _She groaned, picking up her pickle and dipping in the mayo on the side of her plate. “Agreed but_ please _take out Mike Pence and Paul Ryan’s ass with him. While Trump may be a toddler with his hand on a trigger, those mothafuckas have actual shitty, world ending agendas and need to be_ **_stopped_ ** _before they ruin any more lives and break up any more families with deportation and school funding cuts. And don’t even talk to me about the rise in police brutality, white supremacy and nazism since he entered office,” Aurora seethed, face twisted with disgust and voice laced with ire. She bit into her pickle and picked up her drink wondering if she should have kept the conversation light._

_Erik stared at her, chewing thoughtfully, a small look of awe on his beautiful face. “I love you,” he said, deadpanned._

_She spat out her ginger ale._

She passed the rest of Wednesday night writing and contemplating Erik. They talked _a lot_ but never really much about themselves, mostly interests and likes and dislikes. She felt like she knew him without actually knowing anything substantial about him. He didn’t talk much about his personal or professional life and she wasn’t exactly forthcoming about herself either but she still felt like she had known him for lifetimes. He just _got_ her; knowing what she was thinking with just a look, almost finishing her sentences, noticing small nuances in her behavior other people would have never picked up on. Their easy conversations and shared laughs made Aurora feel like she had been connected with him for years and not literal _days_.

Did she need to know more about him? Did she want him to know more about her? Her life was a complicated string of misfortunes and sadness that she jumbled up into a messy ball and locked tightly into the recesses of her mind. She wasn’t sure could endure rehashing her pain, even through stories.

No, she was fine with where they were now.

She sent over the next batch of poems to Jade and decided to do her hair and call it a night.

* * *

Aurora woke up early Thursday morning after sleeping like shit the night before. Jitters had kept her up for most of the night as she ran through a thousand scenarios that could happen when Erik arrived at her apartment. A large part of her knew that it was very possible Erik only wanted one thing from her and that he could act on those desires tonight. This knowledge didn’t scare her, in fact, she expected as much. Erik, while charismatic and funny, oozed a dark, sensual and slightly volatile energy. He could melt your panties off with a lift of his lips and a brush of his fingers or snatch out your soul with a flick of his eyes. Everywhere they went women, and most of the men, gravitated towards him. Eyes tracking his every move and ready to dote on any request; but his attention never wavered from her and _that_ was what _really_ scared the fuck out her.

She huffed at the sudden turn of her thoughts, got out of bed and went through her daily routine, trying to ignore the panic that was slowly gripping her over Erik’s planned visit. But her mind swirled with images of her and Erik in compromising positions everywhere she looked. By ten, she was so worked up that she couldn’t even hold her pen to write the energy away. She chucked it across her living room, frustrated with herself for being anxious, and decided to give herself a pep talk.

“Alright Ari, think about this shit,” she said out loud, standing briskly and pacing the area between her couch and the coffee table. “Is Erik attractive? Fucking yes. Does he fucking exude this ‘I could fuck the shit out of you without even trying’ energy? Yeah, but has he once made you feel like he only wants your body? No.” And that was truth. She knew that Erik _knew_ he could have anyone he wanted but he was never anything more than friendly with her. Of course there was light flirting but nothing more than that.

 _Although sometimes he looks at you with more than friendship in his dark eyes,_ her mind supplied her.

“Whatever,” she answered her inner voice out loud. “He makes you laugh, respects your space and actually fucking _listens_ to you. He **is** your **friend** so stop being a dumbass, bitch!” It was a fact and she let the truth of her words spread through her and chase away the mania she was feeling.

Sighing, she walked over to pick up her pen from the corner it landed in when she noticed how dusty her entertainment center was. She decided cleaning up a little would make a good use of all the pent up energy in her body.

Aurora spent the rest of her morning and most of the afternoon meticulously cleaning her apartment, searching out every dust bunny and cobweb. After the half bath, living room and kitchen had been cleaned to a shine, she felt _worlds_ better and much more relaxed.

She entered her bedroom, intent on cleaning it with the same determination she used with the rest of her apartment and paused in the doorway, her anxiety threatening her again.

Did she really _need_ to clean her room? Erik wasn’t going to come in there so what was the point? She switched off the light and turned to leave but found herself pausing again. _What if he does come in here?_ She stomped her foot and huffed at herself.

“The room needs to be cleaned anyway, Ari, just fucking do it.” She turned back, refusing to allow her mind to panic again and got to work gathering laundry off the floor and putting it in the hamper, cleaning off her vanity, putting books back where they belonged, vacuuming, hanging jackets and making her bed. The work kept her busy and, before she knew it, it was well into the afternoon.

Aurora was just putting in a load of laundry in her washing machine when her cell phone vibrated. She smiled immediately despite her earlier plights, knowing exactly who it was.

“What do you want _now,_ Stevens?” she grumbled good naturedly, fishing the device from the back pocket of her yoga pants. All negative thoughts surrounding him disappeared when she read his message.

 

Aurora bust out laughing. He had _jokes._ She reread his message, heart fluttering at the endearment. He capitalized it like it was her title and she wondered, not for the first time, what her contact name was in his phone. She ignored the light feeling in her chest and started her reply, searching her for the perfect meme in her arsenal.

She laughed at her own message, remembering the day. They had been exchanging meme’s all day and she had been laughing so hard, tears running down her cheeks, that she mistakenly hit the “baked potato” button instead of “popcorn” on the machine. The next thing she knew there was smoke everywhere. Erik had run over to her apartment concern all over his face until she explained what happened to him, embarrassment coursing through her. He had fallen on his ass laughing. Literally. It had taken _days_ for the burned corn smell to dissipate.

She stuck the phone back in her pocket focusing on her task. Not even a full minute went by before she got his reply. She bit her lip to keep from smiling like a dork.

She laughed again and decided to ignore his antics. She still had no idea what time to expect him and she was sweaty, covered in dust and in desperate need of a shower and new clothes.

 

Before setting off to take care of her shower, she walked into her kitchen pantry grabbing flour, sugar, baking soda and baking powder and took them to the kitchen. Erik was relentless with his jokes about her inability to cook but what he didn’t know is that she could bake her ass off. Her phone vibrated again.

She looked at the clock on her stove. 4:08pm. Plenty of time. She texted back an affirmative, saying she’d see him then, set her oven to preheat and pulled the butter out the fridge to soften.

Aurora showered, standing under warm water and allowing her residual anxiety float down the drain with the suds. Tonight was going to be fun, she just knew it. Erik was going to come over and be the absolute dork and asshole he always was and all of her fears were going to be unfounded.

She hoped.

She found herself in front of closet fretting over what to wear. She didn’t want to get _dressed_ just to sit on the couch but she wanted to be _cute_ too. She slipped on a pair of Adidas leggings, an off the shoulder white tee shirt she twisted in the front and her favorite pair of cabin socks. Pulling off the silk scarf covering the two goddess braids she’d done the night before, Aurora sat at her vanity, edge control and toothbrush in hand as she laid her edges to the gods.

Satisfied with her work, she returned to the kitchen to start baking her favorite oatmeal chocolate chunk cookies. They always came out super moist and stayed soft days after making them. It didn't hurt that she put three different types of chocolate chips in them either.

She put on some music, _Yours_ by Alina Baraz flowing from her speaker.

_Something ‘bout you is so healing/In the haze/In the days when you’re near me/Running on, on a feeling/Keep it on/Keep it going while I’m here/Paradise in your eyes/But i’m not yours and you’re not mine/You say you never want to go/But if you run, you know I won't follow/Love me like I’m never gonna leave/Love me like I'm your-yours._

Aurora lost track of time, focused fully on the task at hand and the music around her. She was just putting in last cookie sheet, when there was a soft collection of raps on her door. Her head snapped up to the digital clock. 6:27. Damn, that boy was punctual.

She paused the music and walked to the door, taking a deep settling breath before swinging it open.

Erik stood there in a pair of grey joggers and a black Champion hoodie. His dreads were braided back from his face and two beaded necklaces and a gold chain with a hefty looking ring looped around it laid across his chest. A bracelet made of intricately carved beads he always wore sat on his left wrist.

Her mouth went dry. Was he always going to have this affect on her?

He smiled big, gleaming canines peeking over his lip. She could feel her own twitching up in response.

“Hey,” she said, voice a little too high. _Fuck, you just saw him less than 24 hours ago, bitch._ She cleared her throat and moved to the side to let him in.

“Wassup, Princess,” he said, surprising her when he bent down to brush a soft kiss across her cheek. She looked up at him, eyes wide and closed the door. He turned with a smirk heading towards her kitchen to put down the bags she just noticed he was holding.

“It smells good as fuck in here. What’d you do? Go to a bakery and buy this dough?” he asked putting the bags on her counter and reaching towards the bowl with the cookie dough in it.

“If you stick your fingers in my bowl I swear to god you won’t have hands,” she warned, stomping over to snatch the bowl out of his reach. “And no, I made them myself. Grandpa’s recipe.” She put it on the opposite counter and turned to the oven as the the timer sounded.

“So, what you’re saying is, I should stick my fingers somewhere else?”

She almost dropped the fucking cookie sheet. His voice was deep and entirely too close, reverberating in her bones. She turned slowly, looking over her shoulder at him. He was inches away from her face, body caging her between the stove and himself. Her heart started **pounding.** She was frozen, baking sheet suspended in the air, face turned up towards his. _Oh, fuck me,_ she thought as he inched closer and closer, heat emitting from his body and his cologne clouding her mind. Her eyes began to flutter closed as he pressed his forehead to hers.

“Please,” she whispered the word into the space between them, voice small and wavering. She didn't know _what_ she was asking for. His proximity had her rushing blood singing through her veins. She _wanted_ , a deep dark hunger blooming from her core and radiating outwards till she could feel it tingling in her hands, wrist going limp and mouth slack, waiting for what she _knew_ was an imminent connection of skin.

But just as quickly as he came he was gone. She opened her eyes confused, her body seemingly on fire.

Erik was standing to his full height looking down at her...with an entire cookie crammed into his smiling mouth.

“You asshole!” she screamed, slamming the cookie sheet on the stove and shoving him hard. The fucker didn't even have the decency to _pretend_ to budge.

“I wuh ohlee dewin wuh yu tol meh toh!” he laughed around his mouth full of confection.

“Whatever, Erik. You a fucking jerk for that, you scared me half to fucking death!”

“Aww don’t be that way Ari. You want a kiss? C’mere.” He advanced towards her, extending his arms and pursing his thick chocolate covered lips comically making ridiculous kissing sounds. Even in it’s comedy it was _tempting._

Aurora laughed at the image of him, dancing out of range and covering her blushing cheeks. “Ewww! Stahp, your mouth is covered in chocolate! You look like a fucking toddler.”

“It’ll taste better that way,” he said grinning like the child he was portraying and licking the dark substance from his full lips.

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks though,” Aurora said, sticking her nose in the air and busying herself with filling her cookie jars, her heart finally calming down with their laughter.

“Aight, remember that for next time,” Erik said, reaching for another cookie.

Aurora cut her eye over at him, slapping his hand away before he could get to another cookie. “Oh yeah?”

He stuck his chocolate covered finger in his mouth, suckling the digit before pulling it out slowly, eyes never leaving hers, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

Aurora ripped her eyes from him, cheeks heating again. “Fucking perverted ass nigga,” she whispered to the cookies. She eyed the bags, needing to change the subject before she spontaneously combusted from the heat in her cheeks. “I thought you said you were bringing food with you not making it.”

Erik turned towards the bags on the counter and started emptying the contents. “Yeah, well I figured I’d show you what real cooking was. You always eating takeout. You gone be pudgy soon.” He reached out and pinched her side causing her to shriek and jump almost a foot in the air.

She glared at his wide smile. “Fuck you nigga. Imma still be sexy if I am pudgy.”

“You right about that shit.” His easy agreement had her biting her lip, hard. _He’s just fucking with you girl._ “Do you even have pots and pans and shit?” His teasing cut off her self-admonishment.

She put the last cookie in a jar and pushed past him to wash her hands. “Really nigga. I do cook sometimes….It just you know….doesn’t taste good.” She dried her hands and opened the cabinet that housed all her cookware.

Erik took a few things out and looked them over. “This is a pretty good collection of tools for someone who doesn't cook.” He put two skillets on the stove and pulled out two different sized cutting boards. _I have more than one of those?_  

Aurora shrugged. “My mom bought me all that shit when I moved in here. I guess she had aspirations that I would learn now that I’m on my own. Fucking joke.” Her mother used to say she could burn the house down making ice cubes she was so terrible at cooking. Donna _stayed_ roasting her.

Erik picked up a packet of chicken breast, opening it and taking it to the sink. “Well, we’re about to make Mrs. Greene proud tonight. Wash off the chicken.”

Aurora blinked at him owlishly. “Wait, you want _me_ to help you cook?” she asked pointing a finger at herself and looking at him as if he grew three more heads.

He raised an eyebrow, “You wanna eat right? You gotta help then. This ain't no hand out, girl.” He grabbed her softly by her elbow and pulled her over to her farmhouse sink. Her face must have looked frightened because when he spoke again his voice was soft and reassuring. “Don’t worry I’m going to help you. It’s going to be easy, Princess. Promise.”

She let out a mirthless chuckle, “you must want to eat tar tonight. Every time I touch food I fuck it up somehow.” She turned the cool water on despite her fears and began rinsing off the chicken.

Erik snorted. “Yeah, I figured that when you burned your toast.”

“Popcorn!”

“Whatever.” She could hear the smirk in his voice.

She rinsed the chicken as thoroughly as she could and brought it to the cutting board Erik had set up for her. He had the other set up next to her’s with four limes and bottles of tequila and triple sec sitting next to it. Various ingredients were scattered around the rest of the space: tortillas, two blocks of cheese, a packet of chicken taco mix, a jar of salsa and tubs of guacamole and sour cream.

Erik pulled out a cocktail shaker.

“Uhhhhhh….,” Aurora stuttered out eloquently. She was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of ingredients.

Erik noticed and rolled his eyes. “Relax, Princess. This is actually a really easy recipe. I figured we’d start small and work our way to the heavy stuff.” He pointed to her refrigerator. “Does your ice maker work?”

She nodded still looking at the ingredients. “You said easy but there’s like 4,236 things on this counter.”

Erik shook his head smiling as he filled the shaker with ice. “I know it looks like a lot but I promise you it isn't. The hardest thing is the prep work and even your novice ass can't mess this shit up.”

Aurora cut her eye at him. “Whatever ass, just tell me what to do.”

“Hold on for a second, let me make our drinks first.”

Aurora watched raptly as he measured out liquor and juiced the two limes into the shaker. He asked if she had cocktail glasses and she fished them out for him without a snarky comment, too busy watching him shake up their drinks, mesmerized by his grace and ability to do seemingly anything with confidence.

He poured the liquid into the two glasses before rinsing out the shaker, pushing her drink over to her.

“Try it.”

She picked up the glass and bought it to her lips. The drink was cool on her tongue, the sharp tang of the lime helping the slight burn at the end. Aurora immediately went for another sip, licking her lips to chase the taste.

Erik was looking at her smugly, his own drink in hand now.

“It’s aight,” she said smiling over the rim at him.

“Uh huh,” he said grinning and pointed to her cutting board, bringing his own drink to his lips. “Cut the chicken into strips.”

Aurora rolled her eyes at his tone and bossiness. “Yes, _dad.”_

His grin grew impossibly wider and eyes twinkling, darker than they were a few seconds ago. “Be careful, baby girl.” The warning in his voice made her quiver. _Did his voice get deeper?_ She took another sip and turned quickly to the chicken, afraid his perceptiveness would see through her reaction.

“Can I put on some music at least? I work better that way.”

“Yeah that’s cool.”

Aurora took her phone out of her pocket, tapping out of her _12A_ playlist so she wouldn't embarrass herself any further tonight, and selected a song. The first strands of the guitar riff of _Tadow_ by Masego & FKJ filled her apartment.

Erik went over to take a look at the burgundy Harmon Kardon speaker, picking it up and turning it this way and that. “This little shit bumps,” he said over the music.

Aurora allowed the melody to relax her and began slicing the chicken as instructed, trying to ignore Erik as he opened cabinets hunting for lord knows what.

He came back with a cheese grater and small mixing bowl and began unwrapping the two squares he’d brought with him.

She chose to ignore him, cutting the breasts with complete seriousness. She had almost forgotten that Erik was there with her until his hand appeared in her line of sight, a small square of marbled cheese pinched between his index finger and thumb. She looked up at him, brows pinched together.

“Taste,” he said, staring into her eyes.

She licked her lips and looked back at the cheese he was bringing closer to her mouth. Aurora’s lips wrapped lightly around the morsel and his fingers, his skin petal soft against them. She used her tongue to sweep the cube from between his fingers and bit into the softness. It was rich and tangy, practically melting in her mouth. She hummed in pleasure.

“Cheddar jack,” Erik supplied, sucking on the fingers he fed her with.

“It’s good,” Aurora said softly, eyes glued to his lips.

They quirked into his signature grin. “You finish with the chicken, Princess?”

She looked down at the chicken, neatly cut into thin strips. She had a small piece left.

“Yeah, let me just cut this last piece.”

When she was finished Erik helped her make the chicken quesadillas step by step to the tunes of _Foreplay_ by Jalen Santoy. Each of them were sipping their drinks periodically. She cooked the chicken, adding the taco seasonings and then the salsa to the mixture as instructed. Erik added a tortilla to the smaller skillet, seasoning the outside and showed her to add cheese then the meat and salsa mixture for the perfect balance. He folded the tortilla over and and then flipped into the air with just a twist of his wrist like a pro, making Aurora giggle when he looked over at her and stuck out his tongue. Aurora made a mess of the first one but was better the second time, handing them off to Erik to cut and put on the large platter he found from god knows where. By the time she got to the last one she felt confident in her abilities, which may have had something to do with the second drink in her glass. Cockiness was creeping into her blood as she got ready to attempt to flip the quesadilla like Erik had.

“Wait a second shorty, you can’t just jump into this shit,” he told her once he figured out where her head was. He put down his drink, coming to stand behind her, taking hers hands and placing them on the handle of the skillet correctly. “There’s an art to this.” His voice was in her ear and vibrating through her back. Aurora closed her eyes for a second, reveling in the feeling of his warm, muscled body pressed against the length of her. She had to bite her lip to keep the moan at bay. Determination to flip the quesadilla had her eyes popping back open. She could do this.

“Ready?” Erik breathed.

She nodded her head. “Ready.”

He wrapped his hand around hers, body moving even closer because of their drastic height differences, and they picked up the skillet rocking it up and back, flicking their wrists in one fluid motion. Aurora watched with glee as the chicken and cheese stuffed tortilla flipped gracefully in the air and landed back in the pan.

“YES!” she exclaimed, fists thrown in the air before she whipped around to Erik, a childlike smile plastered on her face. “I fucking did it!”

He smiled big and goofy at her, hand coming up to brush her cheeks so softly she wasn't sure if her serotonin saturated mind made it up or not. “You sure fucking did, Princess.” He took the the quesadilla out the pan, cut it up and added it to the platter, heading toward the living room. “Grab the guac and sour cream and c’mon.”

She blinked at him and then at the table where two small glass bowls held the guacamole and sour cream in them, spoons sticking out the sides.

“Did you bring these with you?” Aurora asked scooping them up and following suit.

“You really have no idea what’s in your cabinets do you?” Erik said, shaking his head and placing the dish next to the bowls Aurora had just put down on the coffee table

She reached up and scratched her neck, laughing weakly, “I guess I really don't?”

“Sit ya adorable ass down.” He grabbed her arm, pulling her on the couch next to him and reached for the PS4 controller while Aurora switched on her television. Erk inspected the device with a grimace. “How you even work this archaic shit?”

Aurora snatched the controller from him. “You are such a fucking asshole.” She switched on the system, bringing Netflix up and selecting _One Punch Man_. “This shit better be good Stevens.”

“Yeah fucking yeah, Ari. Just press play,” he said, handing her a small plate - _where_ was he _getting_ this shit? - with two cheesy triangles on it.

She did.

__________

Aurora had to admit, this shit was fucking amazing. The food and the show. She was sold by the first few minutes of episode one, laughing entirely too hard when the ass-faced boy showed up on screen.

“What the FUCK is on his face? Wait, did he draw NIPPLES on this crab nigga? And what kind  of name is Crablante?!”

"Just watch the fucking show Ari.”

__________

“That was a fucking dream!?” She shouted after Erik, who went to the kitchen to retrieve their glasses and the shaker that held their third margarita.

“Press play and stop shouting.”

__________

“Ok, I _like_ Genos,” Aurora said, pulling the hanging cheese from her food, running it through the dollop of guacamole on her plate and dropping it in her mouth.

“So that’s what that mouth do?” Erik said, his teeth even whiter from the light from the television.

“Nah, it complains,” she said, not missing a beat.

__________

“This lion nigga gone get his shit _murked_.”

“Ssshhh, stop fucking ruining the show for me.”

“Ari you already knew that shi-”

“SSSSHHHH!!”

__________

“Ain’t no way in hell _that’s_ how this nigga got his powers. This is a fucking jo-”

“SSSHHH, Aurora stop _ruining_ the fucking show for me.”

She threw the last piece of her cookie at him. He caught it in his mouth, eyes never leaving the screen.

“Show off.”

__________

“Ok, I changed my mind,” Aurora said as Hammerhead ran off naked. “Sonic is probably my favorite character.”

Erik kissed teeth, draining his glass and putting it next to Aurora’s empty one. “Ain’t nobody better than Saitama.”

“You stanin’ hard as hell, kid,” Aurora smiled, removing her leg from its position where she sat indian style to push her toes into his side. Wiggling them into his skin and laughing when he squirmed a little.“You got a crush, nigga?”

 He caught her toes, pulling her foot and by extension _her_ , closer to him and pushed his thumb into her instep. She yelped and tried to wiggle out of his grasp but he held her firmly, waiting until she stopped wriggling and looked into his eyes. “Yeah, I do.” His voice was almost as serious as his eyes. She swallowed hard and jerked her foot to get him to let go. He relented and Aurora crawled back over to her corner, quiet the rest of the episode.

 

__________

They watched the next few episodes much the same way; with Aurora keeping a running commentary on what she thought of the characters, plots, background art, and music. Erik mostly kept his hands and comments to himself, except for when Aurora threw jabs as Saitama’s character which she did. Alot. Mostly, just wanted to get a rise out of him.

By the time they got to episode eight “ _The Deep Sea King,_ ” Aurora was now sitting back in the middle of the couch, Erik’s earlier stunt all but forgotten, and was yawning approximately four times every ten minutes. She brought her hand up to her face, rubbing her eye into the warm fabric of Erik’s hoodie. He had given it to her around the sixth episode when he noticed her slight shivering.

“Lemme guess, this is Saitama’s boyfriend coming to bring him home so that he can feed their small aquatic children and buss it open for the King?” Aurora joked right before she let out a particularly jaw cracking yawn.

Erik opened his arms to her, “C’mere Ari, you annoying as hell when you’re tired.”

She didn’t think twice, scooting between his arms and laying her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, moving them around until they were both comfortable.

“His boyfriend is really cute, at least.” she snarked, voice muffled slightly because of their position, part of her mouth pressed into his chest. She turned her face into him more and inhaled deeply. He smelled so _good._ His skin wasn’t smooth like she expected. There were small round bumps that seemed to litter his entire torso. She glanced down at his arms and the scars there. Were they _everywhere_ ? Her body felt even more sluggish and her eyes drooped dangerously low. She was so _tired._

His mouth pressed into her hair. “He is isn’t he,” Erik agreed laughing lightly when she yawned again. He kissed her hair again. “Go to sleep, Princess. You’re safe.”

She was so she did.

* * *

Aurora felt like she was floating. Her body moving through time and space seemingly on its own.

She tried to turn, open her eyes and see what she knew had to be a reflection of the Cosmos; brilliant points of light swimming in a sea of purples, blues and greens. Swirling galaxies and and exploding stars. It must be beautiful.

“Mmmm. Beautiful,” she murmured, her voice thick.  

“Yeah,” a deep voice agreed. The Cosmos.

 _Huh_ , she thought. _I know that voice._

She was laid down gently and jostled a little, something soft and warm covered her body and she was overcome with a sense of peace and familiarity.

“S’anks” she whispered to the Cosmos.

A soft warmth pressed into her forehead, her cheeks and finally her lips. She wanted chase it. _Mine_ her mind supplied as she started slipping back into the inky darkness of unconsciousness rapidly.

“ **Ubusuku obumnandi bendoda,** ” the Cosmos whispered against her lips as the darkness swallowed her whole.

* * *

 

drop me a comment dolls  _xo_


	4. Petrichor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: SLOW BURN (as usual), mentions of past emotional and physical abuse, very light angst.
> 
> Suggested Listening: Lemon, NERD feat Rhianna; Rescue, Ashanti
> 
> Enjoy dolls, xo.

**Petrichor**

(poem by author "c.j.")

A strong vibration near her face had Aurora slapping her pillow in search of the source. “Uuugghhh stooooop. Too early,” she croaked, she had a huge headache and her mouth felt like cotton. Her hand bumped the side of her phone and she realized it was ringing. Aurora picked it up with clumsy fingers, blinking the bleariness out of her eyes and groaning.

“Jaaadeee,” she whined pulling the phone to her ear. “It’s too fucking early,” she told her best friend in lieu of a greeting.

“Bitch, do you know how long I’ve been trying to get a hold of you? It’s past noon,” Jade’s voice sounded like it was booming out of the speaker and straight into Aurora’s _brain_.

“What?” Aurora said, voice slightly stronger. She sat up in bed, pulling the phone away from her face to look at the time. 1:08 pm. She hadn’t slept in this late in awhile; speaking of, how did she _get_ in her bed? The last thing she remembered was being curled around Erik on the couch.

_“Go to sleep, Princess. You’re safe.”_

“Oh, fuck,” Aurora groaned, almost fully awake instantly. She took stock of her body, trying to remember when and _how_ she’d got in bed.

“‘Fuck’ is right,” Jade interjected her thoughts. “Can you come open the door? I’ve been standing out here for like ten minutes waiting fa  ya ass.” The line disconnected.

Aurora threw her phone on the bed and ran a hand down her face. She was not in the mood for company. She just wanted to clean up the mess she knew was her kitchen and veg for the day.

A loud banging came from her front door again.

“I’m coming bitch, damn!” She swung her legs over the side of the bed and spotted a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin. Aurora stared at them for a second. _Did Erik put these here?_ She popped the cap, shaking out three pills and putting them in her mouth quickly and picked up the glass of water.

Jade was nonstop pounding by the time Aurora got to the door.

“Jesus fucking Christ Jade!” she yelled, swinging the door open and glaring at her best friend. “If Chad calls the cops on us I’m letting them take yo ass this time.”

Jade pushed past her and into the apartment, “yeah yeah bitch, took you long enough.” She took off her coat and threw it over the back of the couch revealing her fashionable jeans tucked into her riding boots she had paired with a cute scoop neck t-shirt.

Aurora sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose wanting her headache to just go the fuck away.

“Sorry about my kitchen.” She knew Jade was going to complain. “I didn't get a chance to clean it before I passed out last night.”

“Whatchu talkin bout girl? It’s fine.”

Aurora’s brows hiked up. The kitchen was a _mess_ last night after she and Erik were done cooking. She had meant to at least put the dishes in the dishwasher before going to bed but fate obviously had other plans.

She rounded the corner into the space. It was _spotless._ The counters were wiped down, stove clear and dishes put away.

“Huh,” Aurora said lamely, putting her glass on the island absently and staring into the space knowing she probably looked like she was just seeing it for the first time.

“You aight girl?” Jade asked, eyes scanning Aurora’s figure skeptically.

“Y-yeah,” Aurora answered. “I drank a little last night so I’m a kinda out of it.” It wasn’t a _lie._

“By yourself? Why you ain’t call me? We could have had girls night,” Jade said, opening the refrigerator and grabbing a bottle of water. She glowered down at it, “Fiji? You always drinking some boujee ass water.”

Aurora was still staring into her kitchen. Had Erik done this? Why didn’t he wake her up? Was he the one who put her in bed? And that dream….her mind tried to recall the voice and the feeling, details slipped through her mind warm and fleeting. Was that _him?_ She brought a hand to her lips, brows furrowed and mind racing.

“Are you sure you aight, Ari?” Jade asked, still looking her up and down suspiciously.

Aurora fought hard not to squirm and to school her expression into something normal. She could think about this later.

“Yeah I’m good, J.”

“Who’s hoodie is that?”

Aurora looked down quickly at the wrinkled black thing. She gripped the material in her fist; fuck, she was still wearing it.

“Uhhh, it’s Rashad’s,” Aurora lied quickly, impressing the fuck out of herself. “He left it here last time he was here.”

Jade’s mouth fell open and she took an angry step towards her best friend. “Rashad was here and you didn’t _tell me_!?”

Aurora cringed at Jade’s icy tone. Rashad was her cousin and well known photographer. He was famous for the black and white nudes of women of color he often took. Jade had been trying hard to become a subject of one of those photos and to catch Rashad’s eye for _years_ now.

“It was a few weeks ago,” Aurora said, crossing her arms across her chest to look as if she was annoyed. “Weren’t you in like, Tahiti or something?”

Jade stared at her glumly before sighing, “Yeah, and it was fucking fun too.” She shook her head. “ Next time he comes over, call me. That nigga tryna act like he dont know nobody since he got a little taste of fame n shit.”

Aurora rolled her eyes at her best friend and changed the subject. “You said you were tryna reach me, wassup?”

“Oh, we were _trying_ to have brunch with yo ass but clearly you had spit for breakfast and were too full to answer if the side of your cheek is right.” Jade smiled at her over the lip of her bottle.

Aurora reached up to wipe furiously at her face, studiously ignoring the waft of cologne she got with the movement. “Whatever bitch! So what, y’all ate without me? That’s foul as hell.”

Her best friend rolled her eyes, “Bitch aint nobody eat without you! We got a reservation at _Gyu-Kaku_ at three.”

Aurora’s stomach rumbled loudly, she fucking _loved_ Japanese BBQ. “Yaaaaaas, this why you my besssssss fraaaaaaan.” She stuck her tongue out, turning around and twerking her ass at her friend.

Jade followed suit, sticking her tongue out and twirling her ass in a her circle with her. “Ooooooooww!!” They both turned around, giggling at each other and their impromptu twerk session. “Yeah, I know I’m that bitch. Now hurry up and get dressed. Your braids fresh as hell too, sis.”

Aurora hit a dougie, turning towards her room. “You know how I do biiiiiisssh.”

“Uh huh, put some cute shit on,” Jade called after her.

“Don’t I always?”

* * *

“How many times are you going to look at that phone?” Jade asked, looking at Aurora form the corner of her eye.

“Huh?” Ari asked dumbly, looking up from said phone.

Jade rolls her eyes and turns back at the road, they’re stuck in traffic which is normal around the L.A. area. “You’ve been opening and closing your phone every five minutes since we got in the damn car. Who you checking for?”

Aurora looks back at her text messages. Erik had sent her a message around 4am telling her he was going on an emergency business trip.

_I’ll be back in a few days, Princess. Don’t finish One Punch Man without me._

“Nobody,” she answers closing out the message and looking out the window. “Ya charger was fucking up and my phone wasn’t charging. You always buying knock off shit.” Aurora laughed at Jade. Her phone was on 100%.

Jade eyed her curiously. “Mmhmm. Sure.” She pulled into the parking lot of _Gyu-Kaku_ and they got out of her Kia Stinger.

Kailoni was waiting for them at the table when they got there, an agitated look on her beautiful face.

“It’s about damn time yall got here,” she said angrily, snatching her menu up from the table. “I’m hungry as hell, all I had today was a protein bar because _someone_ wanted to sleep until noon!”

Aurora smiled at her easily angered friend, walking around the side of the table to kiss her cheek loudly. “Hey boo, I missed you too.”

“Mmhmm, you look cute, bitch” Kailoni said, looking her up and down. Aurora had picked out an ivory wrap dress that hugged her curves tightly and a pair of peekaboo pumps. She looked at Jade with a shiteating grin on, taking her seat and raising an eyebrow in her direction.

“Whatever, sis,” Jade said to Aurora. “You woulda had on some jeans and sneakers if I hadn’t told you to get dressed. Thank you, pay me.”

The three bust out laughing knowing that it was true. Aurora had earned the title Queen Comfy amongst her friends. She only dressed up if she _absolutely_ had to, preferring to wear jeans, sweatpants, leggings, skater skirts and soft dresses if she could. Today she was feeling a little sexier than normal, thanks to a certain someone, so it was easier to find a reason.

 _Even if he was god knows where,_ her mind stated acerbically. His car _had_ been in it’s normal spot….

“Irasshaimase!” their waiter greeted the table chipperly and with a deep bow. “My name is Jaime and I’ll be taking care of you. Can I start you ladies off with something to drink?”

They all put in your orders, three mai tai’s; the restaurant made them strong and sweet the way they  liked.

“Kanpekina! I’ll be back in a few with your drinks and to take your order,” Jaime said and bounced away, pigtails swinging behind her.

“She was cute as fuck!” Jade whispered, leaning into the table conspiratorially.

Kailoni shot her a look. “Now that was a damn child and I will not let you corrupt her with your nonsense.”

Aurora snorted, glancing over the happy hour food menu. She wanted some cow tongue, secretly because Kailoni and Jade wouldn’t touch the stuff but mostly because it was delicious.

“She wasn’t no damn child. She had to be at least 23.” Jade leaned back into her chair, throwing her bone straight ebony hair behind her back and picking up her menu. “Besides, she might like being corrupted.” She stuck her tongue out, flicking it in the air obscenely fast and forcing Aurora to cover her face in embarrassment.

“Ew, J. Put that shit away,” She said, peeking between her fingers. “There's children here.”

“Including our waiter,” Kailoni said with a stern ‘cut-the-shit’ look on her face.

“Damn Kaybo, you such a fucking Debbie Downer,” Jade said putting her menu down and pouting like a child. “I ain’t have pussy in a grip. Can a bitch just be fucking thirsty?”

“Thirst for someone your own age,” Kailoni said, looking pointedly at her menu.

Of the three of her friends, Kailoni was always the voice of reason and the mother hen. The wedding planner always kept things from falling apart and had talked them off the ledge of insanity many a time. For Aurora, Kailoni was the brightest point of light when the shit show with Michael went down and she was forever grateful to her. She was the big sister Aurora never had and she loved her to pieces.

Jaime came back and deposited their drinks on the table. “You ladies know what you want?”

“Oh, definitely,” Jade practically purred at the girl, leering and smiling like the cat who got the cream. Kailoni kicked her under the table, hard.

They ordered their food, Jade and Kailoni making faces at Aurora’s cow tongue, as per usual. “Oh well, more for me!” Aurora shimmied her shoulders in glee as a red-faced Jaime left to submit their order and probably complain to the manager.

If we get kicked out of here, Imma kick ya ass,” Kailoni said sweetly to Jade, death in her eyes as she sipped her mai tai.

"What? She looked _interested,”_ Jade said, her eyes alight with mischief.

“No, she looked horrified.”

They fell into comfortable conversation, catching up with each other and moaning about their problems.

“Ari’s almost finished her book,” Jade offered, a piece of pork belly between her chopsticks.

Kailoni turned to her, pleasant surprise lighting up her features. “Good shit bitch, about time.”

Aurora’s cheeks warmed at the praise. “Thanks. I was on a dry spell for awhile, but I’m back.”

Kailoni blinked at her before an almost evil smile took over her face. “Oh yeah?” she asked, voice dripping with lewd intentions. “Dry spell over then?”

Aurora rolled her eyes and picked up her bowl of miso ramen. “Not that kind of spell, I had writer’s block.”

“She lying girl,” Jade said turning the mushrooms over the flame. “Her work been sexually charged as hell recently. Someone dickin’ our girl that all the way the fuck down.”

Aurora gave Jade the evilest eye.

“Oh shit, Ari,” Kailoni exclaimed with celebration in her voice. “Damn, you didn't even let a bitch know you found someone new!”

“That’s because I _didn't_ ,” Aurora said through clenched teeth still staring daggers into Jade’s skull. She could see Kailoni’s head bouncing between her and Jade like a bad tennis match.

“Ok, wait what's going on?” Kailoni asked slowly.

“Some new nigga moved into Aurora’s building and been giving her the bidness.”

“Aint nobody sleeping with Erik,” Aurora said hotly, putting her bowl down a little too hard, angry that Jade was putting her on the spot like this. She turned to Kailoni, “he’s just my new neighbor.”

“OH! So _Erik_ is your neighbor now? I thought that nigga live in 8B?” Jade said, neck swiveling, her food virtually forgotten as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Aurora cringed. _Whoops._

“So you lying again, Ari?” Jade asked, anger pouring out of her body.

“I didn’t lie,” Aurora said voice getting smaller, shame eclipsing her anger.

“Well yo ass sure as shit aint tell the truth. Let’s not have another relapse.”

“JADE!” Kailoni hissed, shutting the girl up. Jade turned in her seat, looking away from the table.

Aurora was rapidly wringing her hands under the table, feeling awful for her actions. She hadn’t lied to her girls since Michael and she didn’t want to start again.

“Ari,” Kailoni said soothingly, reaching out and smoothing her hands over Aurora’s. Aurora lifted shameful eyes to her friend. “While Jade is wrong as hell for outing you that way,” Kailoni said pointedly at Jade’s profile before turning soft eyes back to Aurora, “You understand where she’s coming from. We just don’t want you to go through that shit again.”

Aurora nodded her head. She knew why Jade was upset, having spent years bending the truth around the circumstances in her last relationship: the arguing, the cheating, the emotional abuse that turned physical. She had promised her girls she would always keep it one hundred with them from then on.

“I know,” she said to Kailoni and then turned to Jade who was still refusing to look at her. Aurora knew she felt betrayed. The lying had hit her the hardest. “It’s really nothing between Erik and I,” she explained. “We literally just started hanging out a few weeks ago an-”

“Then why did you lie?” Jade said, bitterness lacing her words.

“I didn’t want you guys to interfere.” Aurora sighed, pulling her hands from Kailoni’s and moving her chopsticks around in her bowl.  “I know you guys have been eager for me to move on and I just didn’t want to deal with that. Erik and I are just friends.”

"But you were wearing that nigga’s hoodie this morning,” Jade said turning back to the table, her sharp mind having put two and two together. “And you lied about drinking last night and him living on a whole different floor. You shouldn’t have to lie if the nigga is just a friend.”

“Jade, stop,” Kailoni interjected sternly, shutting her down again. “If Ari says they’re friends then that’s what they are.”

Aurora sat there staring into her rapidly cooling bowl of noodles and hating herself for a few moments.

“I’m sorry,” Jade huffed out. “I don’t like when you lie to me Ari.” Aurora looked up meeting her eyes; seeing the disappointment there was worse than she imagined. “Last time you lied to me that nigga Michael wa-”

“I know,” Aurora cut her off. She did _not_ want to relive those memories in public. “I’m sorry too. But you _know_ how nosy y’all are,” Aurora said her voice returning to light and teasing. “Tosha would have had this nigga’s social, bank account transaction history and third grade report cards and Kailoni would have been looking up his birth chart before I even gave y’all his last name.”

The two women laughed.

“That’s true as hell. Tosha don’t know how to act,” Kailoni said picking up her Buddah mug and taking the straw into her mouth. “So, tell us about this _Erik.”_

“All y'all need to know is that he’s an ass and weeaboo.” Her smile was huge.

Jade’s eyes were really soft, “mmm, I like him already.”

* * *

“Bye girl, thanks for taking me out.” Aurora reached over to give her best friend a tight hug over the center console of the car.

“Of course, bitch. What are friends for?” Jade hugged her back just as hard.

Aurora pulled back and sighed, “Jade I’m really so-”

Jade held up her manicured hand to stop her. “I put you on the spot and I’m sorry for that. It wasn’t my place. You’re right, if you had told me about Erik sooner I would have had my nose all in ya business.” Her face turned serious, “Just don’t lie to me again.”

Aurora nodded, “I won’t.” She meant it.

Jade smiled. “Aight, love you bitch.”

“Love you too, J.”

Aurora got out of the car and walked slowly up to her apartment building, going over the conversation during lunch in her head.

_"Damn, this nigga sounds fioone!” Jade said smiling hard while loading the grill with more flank steak._

_“He is,” Aurora said easily because it was a fact. “But like I said we’re just friends.”_

_“You actually_ believe _that?” Kailoni asked, poking at Aurora’s cow tongue with a look of disgust on her face. “That nigga was feeding you cheese and shit and you believe y’all_ friends _?”_

 _“Fuck that, he straight_ told _this bitch he had a crush on her. Sis just delusional,” Jade said, chewing and pointing accusatory chopsticks in Aurora’s direction._

_“He did not!” Aurora said dipping her cow tongue in ponzu sauce._

_“He mothafucking did, when he grabbed your foot Aurora,” Exasperation in Kailoni’s voice. Her friend’s inability to see the truth was stunning._

_“He was talking about Saitama!”_

_“He was talking about your ass and you fucking know it.”_

Aurora opened her door, moving on autopilot, hanging up her keys and taking off her heels. Erik had to have been joking. They barely knew each other and he could literally have anyone else.

The real question was did she like _him?_ Was she really ready to open her heart up for potential pain?

 _“Attachment is the root of all suffering” - Buddha,_ her mind supplied.

“Chocolate always makes me feel better,” she said to herself, walking over to one of her cookie jars. It was facing the wrong direction which bothered her to no end. She turned it around and found a sticky note attached:

_These are bangin. I can’t wait to see what you bake next, Princess - E_

She pulled out a cookie and bit into its softness.

Yeah, she might like Erik Stevens a little.

* * *

The rest of Aurora’s weekend went by at a sloth’s pace. She gave herself a mani and pedi, took a nice relaxing bath, had lunch a Joe’s and even went to the mall for some light shopping.

Sunday night found her at home, laptop in her lap watching Buzzfeed Tasty videos, _Chopped_ playing softly on her television in the background.

“They make this shit look so _easy_ ,” Aurora said watching the two Trinidadian women making coconut curry chicken and roti. She bookmarked the page, telling herself she would try making it herself soon.

She stared at her Facebook feed with her cursor hovering over the search bar. Should she?

She felt like she would be invading his privacy.

“How is he going to know, sis?” She asked herself, typing “Erik Stevens” into the search bar.

Over five pages of “Erik Stevens” she searched and not one was him. Emboldended, she checked Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, LinkedIn, hell she even scrolled through Tinder and not one result matched. It was like he didn’t even exist.

“Fuck!” Aurora exclaimed, rushing over to the pot to turn it down. The coconut milk had almost started to boil over. She stirred the hot milk a few times before adding her seasoned chicken to the mixture. The smells were making her mouth water. She had gone to the grocery store earlier in the day and picked up the ingredients for the recipe she had seen on Buzzfeed. She was nervous at first but everything was going better than she thought it could. She had the video cued up on her laptop next to the stove that she used as reference. Cooking was _fun_ but cooking with Erik was _better_.

Aurora bopped her body to the N.E.R.D. beat, rapping into her wooden spoon.

“I get it how it live it. I live it how I get it. Count the muhafuckin’ digits. I pull up wit a lemon. Not ‘cause she aint livin’. It’s just a eyes get acidic. N’ this here aint a scrimmage muhfucka we ain't finished. I told we won’t stop. A nigga bouta business. Like yours buy ya rentin’. Wave hello to the top!”

Aurora snatched up the chicken broth and poured it into her pot never missing a word.

A loud noise in the hall had her abandoning her meal and rushing over to her front door, heart skipping fast.

She pressed herself as close as she could get, standing on her tip-toes, eye glued to the peephole.

“Yeah the fire suppression system in this building is kinda shit,” a man in striped overalls told the landlord, Jerry sitting his tool box down on the ground and opening a panel in the wall near Erik’s door. “You need to just gut it and have a new one installed. It’s outdated.”

Aurora turned around sadly and padded back to the kitchen. She thought it was Erik. She _hoped_ it was Erik.

She eyed her phone sitting on the counter - she hasn't received another message from him -  before she looked at the stove. The pot was almost boiling over again.

“Shit shit shit!”

* * *

By Wednesday Aurora was _heated_ . She knows, realistically, she had no right to be as mad as she was but she was fucking _hot_.

She checked her phone again and had to fight the urge to chuck it across the room. Not a single text. She had sent him a message the day before just to check in on him. _“How’s business going?”_ He had yet to answer.

Aurora was mostly angry at herself for being angry at him for something he couldn't control. They were adults and just because Aurora did not have a “normal” nine to five didn’t mean the world stopped for her, even when she wanted it to.

She grabbed up her remote and selected the Netflix app, queing up _One Punch Man_ and starting episode eight again out of spite, but she couldn’t get into it. She felt guilty and childish.

_I’ll be back in a few days, Princess. Don’t finish One Punch Man without me._

Aurora sighed, switching off the program and fell back on her bed. She wanted to see or talk to him.

Her phone vibrated and she scrambled to get to it, pulling it up to her by her foot. It was an email from Jade with notes for her work. She quickly scanned over it before putting the phone down again and pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes in frustration.

This was getting her nowhere. She needed to get out the house.

Aurora picked up her phone again, hovering over his name. She clicked it and typed a quick message before she got up, picked up his hoodie and headed out to the corner market for some ramen, her favorite comfort food.

_I miss you._

* * *

A boom of thunder shook the building and Aurora out of her unanticipated nap. She shot up, hand pressing into her chest, gasping.

“Fuck!” She whispered into the darkness, getting out of bed. She could hear the rain before she got to the window. It was pouring; fat, heavy droplets pelting the sides of the building and hitting the ground in sheets; the sky was lighting up beautifully in the distance.

Aurora smiled softly and threw open the window, walking into the living room to open the others and get her floor fan out of the closet. It nearly never rained in southern California so, when it did, she took full advantage. Aurora plugged the fan in and opened her front door, sitting the fan down, facing outward. Her hand hovered over the switch and she glanced at Erik’s door. Rebecca used to _hate_ when she did this. The fan wasn't exactly the _quietest_ and the hallway had great, albeit unfortunate, acoustics; you could hear anything anyone did there.

She shrugged. _Erik isn’t home anyway_ she thought bitterly _._

She flipped the switch and was immediately overwhelmed with petrichor; the distinct and earthy scent filling her with peace. Aurora _loved_ the smell of rain; it always reminded her of the cycle of life and new beginnings.

She went to her bedroom, grabbing her journal and phone off her bed and pulled up her _12A_ playlist, searching for a song to match her mood as she walked back into the living area.

“This is my shiiittt,” Aurora said selecting _Rescue_ by Ashanti. The hypnotic melody and deep bass always stirred something primal in her.

She made a cup of Golden Monkey tea and sat in front of the coffee table, journal in front of her and thought about the past few days without having Mr. Stevens around. She missed him. _A lot._ Missed his stupid ass texts, funny memes, dimpled smile, and the way he made her laugh harder than anyone.

_When is he coming back?_

She shook her head. She didn’t want to waste the rare occurrence of the rain thinking about her neighbor. The rain always helped her write. Instead, she closed her eyes, listening to Ashanti.

_Laying here with you in the dark/I always knew you could shift my heart/When I'm with you I don't want to stop so rescue me/Only you can fulfill my need take me away from this agony/I want to live out my fantasy just rescue me/All night long take me away to another place/Rescue me/Save me_

Aurora nodded her head to the heavy beat, letting it take her away.She didn't want to think she only wanted to _feel._ She opened her eyes, grabbed her pen and wrote what was in her heart.

_i wanted him in the bluntest way. i_

_wanted his lips, his hands, his arms. i_

_wanted him the way the ocean wants_

_the shore, constantly reaching and running_

_back. i wanted him the way rain wants to_

_fall, the way the sun wants to shine, the way_

_words want to be read. i wanted him to_

_infinity, to the millionth degree, no amount_

_of rain could douse the fire i had in me for him._

She looked at the page foreignly, the words felt like they had written themselves. Like she had no control of her thought process, just a vessel for her emotions to flow from.

“What’re you doing, Princess?”

Aurora snapped her head to the door where Erik was standing tall, proud and a little confused. He had his arms crossed over his white wife beater, head cocked to the side studying her.

She opened her mouth a few times but nothing came out. He was _home_. She wanted to jump up, run over to him and throw her arms around his shoulders. She snapped her mouth shut and shrugged her shoulder feebly in answer, afraid if she opened her mouth nothing but a chorus of “I missed you, I missed you, I missed you,” would come forth.

“So you always sit in front of your coffee table at two in the morning with the door open?” he asked, stepping over her fan and into her apartment.

Her body started and she clamped down on her muscles to keep from moving towards him.

“It’s raining,” she said voice breathy as she watched him fold himself down next to her. Erik made a soft noise of agreement, his eyes trained on her journal.

He reached out to the book, “what you readin’?”

Aurora snatched the book over to her before he can get to it, her eyes flying to his face, cheeks heating up at her rudeness.

“I wasn’t reading I was writing...a-and its private.”

Erik slowly retracted his hand, eyes moving over her face curiously before he smiled. “Ok, sweetheart, don’t hurt me.”

Aurora let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and pushed her coils behind her ears.

“You’re back,” she stated plainly.

He nodded his head, eyes still scanning her face. “Yeah, sorry I was gone so long. The meeting meeting went for longer than I expected and I also spent some time with my family.”

Aurora smirked at him, “Didn’t answer my text though.” All the heat she felt the day before vanished now that he was in front of her.

He bowed his head and peered up at her from his lashes, her body _pulsed_ . “Yeah my bad shorty, I was talking to my little cousin and she can be a bit _much_. I kinda lost track of time.”

She wanted to ask him where he went, what he did, about his family but she knew if he wanted her to know he’d tell her. She just sucked her lip into her mouth and nodded.

Erik eyed her lips and reached into the pocket of his basketball shorts, “I brought you something back though.” He pulled out a long thin box and passed it to her.

Aurora looked between him and the box in her hand. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know,” he said gently. “Open it.”

She pulled the beautiful African printed ribbon off the matte box gently and flipped the lid. Nestled inside was a delicate chain made of a black metal, the links small and feminine. In the middle sat an intricately carved pendant of a golden jaguar, its face fierce; mouth open, eyes glinting, fangs ready to attack.

“Erik,” she breathed running her slender fingers over the cool metal and caressing the jaguar gently.

“You like it?” there was the smallest tinge of worry in his voice that had her eyes shooting back to his face.

“I love it,” she said, gazing at him, sincerity coating her features. “Thank you.”

His answering smile was almost blinding in its intensity. He took the box from her hands.

“Turn around.”

She did, picking her heavy hair off her shoulders. He placed the chain around her neck and secured it, fingers brushing her skin lightly, giving her goosebumps.

Aurora dropped her hair and turned around to face him with her eyes on the necklace. She reached up and situated it to the middle of her neck. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah,” Erik agreed.

She smiled up at Erik before launching herself at him. She caught him off guard and they almost toppled to the floor before he righted them, both laughing.

Erik held her in his arms for a long time.

“Thank you,” Aurora said again, face pressed into her neck.

He pulled her back to gaze at her, moving her hair out of her face. “You’re welcome, Princess.” His attention dipped down at her in his hoodie, biting his lip to hold back his smile.

“What? she asked, folding her arms and giving him a faux annoyed look to stop herself from blushing.

Erik leaned into her space, close enough for his breath to tickle her face and Aurora felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest with it was pounding so hard. He pulled on the cord to his hoodie, bringing her slightly closer to him.

“I missed you too, Ari.”

* * *

drop me a comment.

 


	5. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Slow Burn ? (hehe), mention of past emotional and physical abuse, hair remedies no one asked for lol, use of the n word.
> 
> Suggested Listening: Close To You by Drezzy feat. T-Pain
> 
> Enjoy dolls, xo

#  **Closer**

#    

(poem by j.c.)

Aurora stared at the Netflix options screen bewildered. “That’s it?” She looked back at Erik who was slouched into her couch, a smug look on his handsome face. “ _That_ was the end of the series? Where’s the rest?” They had just finished _One Punch Man_ and Aurora wanted more.

“You gotta wait for season two, ma.” Erik paused, grinning, his canines glinting from the afternoon light floating through her curtains, “I told you that you were gone like the shit.”

“Whatever Stevens. Thanks for showing me some unfinished shit,” Aurora countered, picking up the empty double stuf oreo container between them and heading to the kitchen. “At least the shit I’m going to show you is completed. Ol’ cliffhanger supplyin’ ass.”

Erik barked a laugh at her. “Stop bein’ spoiled, Princess.”

“I’m not spoiled.”

“Uh huh, I can see your lip poking out from here.” She turned around, pouting exaggeratedly at him. The comical face had Erik laughing in earnest. “We starting _Death Note_ tonight?”

Aurora sighed and turned back to the sink, “No, I promised my girls we’d go out to NV tonight.” Tosha had called her earlier in the day, threatening her life. She was finally stateside, whatever “mission” she had was completed, and had demanded to see her girls. _All_ of her girls. Aurora knew better than to tell her no.

“Oooooohhhh shit,” Erik sang out, bringing the cups over to the sink where Aurora was washing their popcorn bowl. He shouldered her out of the way softly, taking over. She rolled her eyes, he never let her do shit. “You gone put ya freakem dress on?”

“Maybe I will,” she provoked, hip propped against the counter top, eyeing him as she dried the dishes he handed her.

He looked her up and down slowly, licking his lip, “I’d pay some good fucking money to see that shit.”

She snorted at him to pretend his words didn't have her flushed and changed the subject, “What’re your plans for the night?”

“Might get up with some of my boys, go get a drink or something. Why? You inviting me to your thing?”

She narrowed her eyes at him, “It’s girls night, nigga. No pussy, no invite.”

“Yeah?” Erik asked, lips pulling up in the corner.

“Yeah,” Aurora retorted, reaching for the cup he was passing her.

He caught her wrist, pulling her slightly closer to him, forcing her to look up into his eyes. “Maybe I'll borrow yours tonight then.”

Her eyes went wide and breathing stopped, the blood in her body igniting at his words. She unconsciously licked her lips. She wanted follow her body’s desire to **give this man what he wanted.**

Before she could listen, Aurora’s phone rang out in her apartment and pulled her out of her stupor. Erik was closer than he was before, big body bowed down to her, eyes trained on her lips. She shook her head to regain some composure and tugged on her wrist. He let go of her and she shimmied past him to grab her phone on the coffee table.

It was Jade.

“Hey.” Aurora’s voice was shaking slightly. She had never been more happy or annoyed at the timing of her best friend’s call.

“What up bitch, we still on for tonight?” Jade was excited.

Aurora glanced back at Erik who was now drying the rest of their dishes with his back to her. “Yeah, you think I wanna die by Tosha’s hand?” she giggle weakly into the receiver.

“Mmm, you ok girl?” Jade asked noticing the difference in her best friend’s voice. She always noticed.

Aurora pulled her eyes from Erik and looked towards the window, forcing her voice to be stronger. It felt like her blood was still zooming around her body and she was light headed. “Yeah, I’m aight. It’s just hot in my apartment.”

“Why don’t you ever turn on your AC, Ari?” Aurora was frugal and would prefer to use her ceiling fan than run up her electricity. Conditioned from years of hearing “what bills you pay around this house?” at home.

But that wasn’t what had her hot right now.

A warm hand on her shoulder had her turning around shocked; he moved stupidly silent and quick.

“I’ll see you later,” Erik said lowly and Aurora nodded her head in agreement, she didn't want him to go. He grinned like he could read her mind, bending down to sweep a kiss across her cheek; lips soft and warm. “Have fun tonight, Princess.”

Aurora waved at his retreating figure, second guessing her plans for the night.

“Hello? Ari? Who the fuck was that? Is there a nigga there? Was that Erik?!” Jade shot her questions off quickly, voice getting higher after each one.

She pulled the phone from her ear, pressing her lips together to keep from laughing. Going out with them was the better decision.

* * *

Aurora clipped the last hair charm into her high bun and leaned back from her vanity mirror to exam herself. They were a good choice, as was the fiery red lipstick she was sporting. She had decided she wanted to put on tonight and chose to wear a black scoop neck tank dress that accentuated her thick hips and thighs. She adjusted the delicate black choker that hung above the golden jaguar Erik had gifted her and ran a finger over her baby hairs again.

Walking over to her closet, she remembered his words from earlier in the day, _“I’d pay some good fucking money to see that shit.”_ Aurora picked up her phone, posed and snapped a picture of herself in her full length mirror. She added a filter and sent it off to Erik with the hashtag #freakem attached before she could talk herself out of it.

She grabbed her black MCM clutch, tossing in her pocket wallet, lipstick and keys and eye’d her car keys hoping she would not have to be the designated driver. Her phone vibrated on the counter and she reached for it, nerves fluttering around in her chest in anticipation for his response.

_Damn, Princess. What’s a nigga gotta do to get you to come home to him tonight?_

Aurora bites her lip gently and decides to play along.

_Give me the world._

She giggles to herself, loving this back and forth game they’ve been playing. The flirting is fun but she never lets herself think of it as more than that.

Aurora switches off her bedroom lights and heads towards the front door checking her phone for the time and seeing the new message from Erik.

_It’s yours baby._

She shakes her head at him and his smoothness. “This nigga really knows how to get a bitch, huh?”

Aurora slipped on her red Louboutin pumps, a gift from her mother to congratulate her on the release of her first book, and heads out the door to meet her girls at the club.

She leaves Erik on read.

* * *

The bass is pumping through the blue and purple lit room, bodies pressed against each other as the DJ pumps _Goosebumps_ through the speakers. Aurora and the girls sit on the plush white sofas in the VIP section, laughing as Kailoni shared a story about her fiance Rob.

“And then this nigga fell on the couch and cut his eye on hanger!” Kailoni said, exasperated with her husband-to-be and his penchant for play fighting. “That shit is all bruised and swollen, he can barely open it. You know that nigga’s mom thinks I’m beating him so this shit just gone fuel her fire.”

“She not starting with her bullshit again is she? I’ll jump her old ass,” Jade sneered over her Circo and orange juice.

“Nah, she been cool since I cussed her ass out the other day at lunch.”

“I don’t even understand why the fuck she be trippin’ out on you like that,” Aurora piped up, words emboldened by her drink. “She mad that nigga relies on you more and isn't calling her every fifteen minutes any more? She need to let go and unclench. The man is like 35.”

“Robert needs to set her ass straight,” Tosha added, pouring a round of shots for everyone. “Maybe then her ass will get a clue.”

Kailoni sighed, taking the proffered shot glass, “Yeah, I don’t even think that’s going to work at this point. She just delusional as hell.”

“Aight, enough with the emotional shit,” Jade interjected. “We came out to have a good fucking time and celebrate Tosha finally coming the fuck home from whatever hole in Bosnia or where ever the fuck she was.”

Tosha eyes glinted with mirth, “I missed you bitches so much.”

“And we missed you sis, welcome back,” Kailoni raised her glass, clinking it with everyones and knocked the drink back. “Shit!” she exclaimed. “I fucking hate Ciroc.”

The beat for _Motorsport_ had Jade jumping out her seat. “This my shit, bitch!” She disappeared into the crowd before they could stop her.

Tosha sighed, “She really hasn't changed, has she?”

Aurora giggled into her cup, “You were only gone for three months Tosh, what did you think was going to change?”

“Yeah you right and what’s new with you?” Tosha turned in her chair to study Ari closer, making the younger girl squirm. “You look different, like you glowing and shit.”

Aurora shrugged noncommittally, “I’m almost finished with my book,”

“Mmm,” Tosha hummed around a swallow of her drink. “Congratulations, but it’s not that type of glow sis. Who is he?”

Aurora flicked her eyes over to Kailoni who was smiling softly with knowing eyes. No one lied to Tosha, it was impossible. The woman could always tell.

“He’s my new neighbor. And, before you ask, there’s nothing happening. We just friends.”

Kailoni scoffed loudly over the music causing Tosha to turn around. “She is downplaying this shit T.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. You like him, sis.”

Aurora sighed, she _did_ like him but that didn’t mean it was _going_ anywhere.

“Ok, you right,” she countered. Tosha’s girn almost split her face. “But,” she held up a finger to stop the comments from flowing out of their mouths, “we just friends.”

Kailoni pushed her fingers into her temples and rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Not this shit again.”

“Don’t all the best relationships start off that way?” Tosha asked.

“He does _not_ want a relationship,” Aurora said shutting that shit down immediately. “ _Maybe_ he wants to fuck but he don’t want me like that.”

“One,” Kailoni voiced, “do _not_ sell yourself short bitch, I will cut you. With love.” Aurora giggled and Tosha grinend big, shaking her head. “Two, if he wanted to fuck why didn’t he the night he came over and y’all watched One Face Man.”

“ _One Punch Man_ ,” Aurora corrected trying not to smile at Kailoni’s answering ‘whatever.’ “And, I don’t know Kaybo.” She _didn’t_ know. Every time he came over she always suspected he would try something and he always left her confused. And really fucking horny. Her vibrator had been getting a workout recently.

“Exactly,” Kailoni said with finality.

“What’s this nigga’s name?” Tosha asked, topping up Aurora’s nearly empty drink.

Aurora left it on the table, not falling for her friend’s shenanigans. She was a _talker_ when she was drunk. “Erik.”

“Erik what?”

She narrowed her eyes at her friend, “Why?”

“For research purposes,” Tosha supplied, innocence written across her features. Aurora was resolutely _not_ buying that shit.

“Yeah, no. You are _not_ doing a full investigation of this nigga. Nah.”

Tosha squinted her eyes impatiently. “You didn’t let me with Michael and look where that lead.”

Aurora deflated quickly, heart sinking into her toes. “Wow, T. That was fucked up.”

“No, it was the truth,” Tosha stated simply, attitude never wavering. “I will **die** before I let someone do that shit to you again.”

“Me too,” Kailoni slipped in. “We love you bitch and if you like this dude we need to know a little more about him.”

Aurora was silenced by their sincerity, tears threatening her eyes. “I love you guys too,” she sniffled, trying to abait the oncoming water works. They were at a fucking club, she _would not_ cry. “Erik really is just a friend though, it’s not a lie.” She needed them to understand this. “If shit get serious I’ll tell you then, cool?”

Tosha stared at her for a second. “Aight,” she relented. “Tell me something about him though so I’m not forced to do a little diggin’. What does he do?”

Aurora racked her brain, her brow furrowing. “I...don’t actually know?”

Tosha and Kailoni blinked at her.

“Where is he from?” Kailoni challenged.

“California?” _Fuck, was he?_

“Was that a damn _question_?” Tosha mocked.

“What _do_ you know about this nigga?” Kailoni questioned, eyes narrowing.

“I don't know!” Ari yelped. “We talk about trivial shit ok? Movies, anime, books, cooking. He doesn’t give up information and I don’t go diving for it.” It was like an unspoken rule between the two of them. One she had been tempted to cross since his return from his business trip a week or so ago.

“So you let a virtual stranger into your house?” Tosha shook her head and eyed her friend hard, disappointment across her features.

“Erik aint a fucking stranger!”

“But you know nearly nothing about him, so isn't he?” Tosha’s voice was cool but Aurora could feel the burn in them.

Aurora’s hackles raised. “I understand I made a mistake with Mike,” her teeth hurt they were clenched so hard, “and if I didn’t you guys sure as shit remind me all the time. But this is different.”

“How?” Tosha crossed her arms.

“I feel safe when I’m with him,” Aurora supplied hotly, angry with her friends for treating her like a child. “He doesn’t ask for anything. We flirt yes, but he not fucking pressuring me into shit. Doesn’t ask for anything more than I’m ready to give. Backs off of me when he’s taken it too far, like he can fucking read me like a book,” she shook her head at her inability to articulate her feelings, frustration bleeding into her gesticulations. Erik was more of a man than she deserved. He wasn’t Michael. Their fears were unfounded. “He’s safe,” she repeated. “I just know.”

Tosha gazed at Aurora like she had seen her for the first time. “You’ve changed Ari.” Aurora looked at her confused. “It’s a good thing. You seem stronger than you were with him.”

She was. “I am.”

Tosha beamed at her, holding her drink between them for a sign of a toast. “I like this new bitch.”

Aurora laughed, picked up her glass and toasted with her best friend. “I like this bitch, too.”

They each took a respective sip.

Kailoni looks around the area. “Ok, I’m glad y’all peaced it up but where the fuck is Jade at?”

Aurora stands up in order to see over the crowd and spots Jade, in the corner tongue down the throat of a girl wearing a bad wig. Hands in the front of the girls pants. “Uhhh,” Aurora laughed pointing in their direction.

Kailoni sighs, standing up. “I’ll get her.”

* * *

“Aaaand sent!” Aurora beamed as she sent the last batch of poems over to Jade. That was it. She had completed her book. She squealed in delight, spinning around in her desk chair with her arms raised to the ceiling, grinning like a fool.

“Yaaaaaaaasssssss!”

She wanted to celebrate, do something nice for herself. She stopped her chair and got up to go to her bathroom closet, searching through her oils and raw materials for ingredients. She needed more bentonite clay and tea tree oil to make her favorite face mask.

She skipped over to her door, grabbing her car keys and wallet, Dreezy bumping through her headphones as she locked the door behind her.

_And you ain’t gotta worry when you with me/I vibe with your mental because you get me/And whenever you want me, you can hit me/I’ll be there in a boy/ I’m tryna get close to you/To you, woah-woah_

Aurora pressed the call button and waited for the elevator car to arrive, humming along to the music.

The doors opened and she was met with a sweaty Erik Stevens. His dreads were hanging in his face, under armor shirt stretched tight across his muscular chest, compression pants hugging him right. She pulled her headphones out when he advanced towards her.

“Sup Princess,” he grinned down at her stepping of the elevator.

“Hey E,” she grinned back, elevator and plans almost forgotten the minute she smelled his cologne mixed with his natural scent. Her mind swam for a few seconds. He smelled fucking _virile._

“Where you going?” He looked her up and down slowly. “You look cute, got a date?”

Aurora gripped the edge of her skater skirt.  She had paired it with her favorite striped bodysuit with a deep plunge and a pair of high top, platform Vans. “As a matter of fact I do,” she challenged, arching her brow towards him and smirking.

Erik’s demeanor changed suddenly; his boyish grin fading as squared his shoulders, jaw clenching tight. “Yeah? Someone I should know about?”

She was taken aback by his reaction. “Nigga, I was going to _Whole Foods_ to get some ingredients. Calm down.” _What’s with him?_ She’d never seen him act like this before.

He visibly relaxed, the action looked almost foreign and forced. As did his smile. “You cooking something? Need help burning down the building?”

Aurora eye’d him carefully, still not over his sudden flip flop in moods. “I’m not cooking but yeah you can come with.” She wasn’t going to pass up the chance to chill with him.

“Aight, just let me change out these clothes.” He walked past her and towards his door. Aurora followed him blindly, more than a little excited to see the inside of his place, hungry for any knowledge about him.

Erik held it for her. “Just give me a few minutes to wash off real quick.”

Aurora nodded slowly, barely hearing what he said.

The inside of his apartment was much different than she had anticipated. She had pictured a mix match of furniture, maybe a few hip hop posters and graffiti. Not this open layout and masculinity. The apartment was almost monochromatic with its deep grey and stark white walls, leather furniture and marble countertops. It was the pops of color from all of his African accents that really made the place. Colorful throws decorated the living area. Tribal masks strategically adorned the walls. Fur rugs were artfully placed on the floor and a set of well loved african drums sat in the corner.

She walked over to his floating bookcase, fingers trailing the broken spines. Aurora was hungry for a peek inside his mind. _Hunger_ by Roxane Gay, _Between the World and Me_ by Ta-Nehshi Coates, _Don’t Call Us Dead_ by Danez Smith were a few of the titles that jumped out at her. She picked the last up and leafed through it, stopping at a dog eared page.

 

_Tonight I smelled the way I smelled with you_

_tired, like i spent all day searching._

_And I have._

_I don't miss your voice._

_I am comfortable with the silence_

_and I don’t miss you,_

_but as I lay across this bed in the dark_

_I feel that there is too much space_

_for one person to fill._

 

She closed the book slowly and pushed it back into it’s space, feeling like she just intruded where she didn't belong.

“Ready shorty?” Erik asked, rounding the corner, rubbing a face towel down his neck.

Aurora nodded slowly, stepping away from the bookcase still feeling guilty.

Erik eyed her curiously for a second, before tossing the towel on the counter next to him and heading for the door.

“I’m driving!” she chased after him.

* * *

“I _know_ I know more about cooking than you do,” Erik announced looking at the shelves confused, “but what the fuck are you going to use grapeseed oil in? I don’t even know what this shit is.” He picked up another bottle of oil and Aurora grabbed it from him, adding to her basket.

“It's neem oil,” she explained. “It’s good for acne scars, inflammation and gets rid of bacteria. I use it in my conditioner but you can use it on your face, obviously,”

Erik blinked down at her and reached into her basket pulling out another item. “And this?”

“Glycerin,” Aurora supplied. “Does much the same as neem but is good for wrinkles and fine lines. I have combination dry skin so I use it to attract moisture to my problem areas.”

“So you what, put on your face after you wash it?”

“No, I use it when I make my face masks.”

His eyebrows rose, his gaze fixed on her now as he slipped the bottle back in her basket. “You make your own masks n shit? You don’t buy those sheet things girls get at makeup stores?”

“I’m kind of shocked you even know about those,” she laughed. “But no, they can have a lot of drying agents in them sometimes or chemicals that just fuck with my skin’s PH balance.” She shrugged turning and grabbing the tea tree oil. “I like making my own shit so I know what’s really going on my face. Makes it easier to control my problem areas.”

“But your skin is smooth as hell,” Erik remarked, attention back on the shelf as he moved bottles around and read labels.

Aurora blushed and smiled. “Thanks, it took years to get this shit down to a science.”

Erik made a noise of understatement and scratched his head. “You know what’s good for an itchy scalp?”

Aurora looked up at him and bit her lip. “I could make you a hair mask,” she offered. “It has a lot of the same products my face mask has in it.”

“That’d be cool. I don't know how to use the shit though.”

Aurora grabbed his arm, pulling him towards the produce section. “I got you, shorty.”

Erik chuckled, pulling her hand down and clasping it in his.

* * *

Aurora dumped out the ingredients on Erik’s counter along with some of the items she grabbed from her apartment.

Erik eyed the avocado and aloe vera leaf suspiciously making her laugh out loud.

“You looked concerned my dude,” she joked. He shrugged his shoulder and she handed him a jar of her shampoo. “You need to wash your hair with this first. Make sure you get your scalp really good.”

“You could always get into the shower with me to make sure I do,” he leered down at her but she ignored him, pointing to the general direction of his bedroom.

“Wash, please,” she said walking over to his knives and picking up the cutting board. She heard his huff of laughter and let out a breath when he left.

 _And did_ **_not_ ** _think about him in the shower._ Mostly

She mixed together the bentonite clay, apple cider vinegar and grapeseed oil in her bowl. Pulling out the tea tree oil and sitting it to the side, she put the microwavable deep conditioning cap in the microwave to heat.

To bottle she brought she added aloe vera gel, honey and olive oil from his cabinet, grapeseed, neem and vitamin e oil and the glycerin. She capped it and shook the bottle until the mixture turned a transparent yellow and became jel like. She would cut the avocado and aloe vera left later.

Aurora retrieved the cap and sat down, tapping out a beat on his kitchen island and fought the urge to poke around his apartment a bit more. He had added several upgrades that she didn’t have and she was _interested_.

 _Don’t be a nosy bitch_ she told herself, opening the Skip-Bo app on her phone and starting a new game.

“This shit smelled weird but damn it worked,” Erik’s voice almost made her drop her phone.

“Fuck!” she nearly screamed dropping her phone on the ground. She bent down to pick it up, praying to god it wasn’t cracked. “You always scaring the shit out of me! I’m gonna make you start wearing a bell or some sh-” Her words died in her throat when she looked up at him.

He was shirtless. Water droplets running rivlets over his beautifully scarred skin, muscles jumping with his arms movement as he roughly dried his hair. Aurora’s eyes dragged slowly down his torso, pussy clenching when she got to the “v” of his tapered waist ending in low slung sweatpants.

She sat back down on the stool numbly, all her blood going south.

He laughed breathlessly, like he had rushed to get back to her. “Yeah my bad, Princess. Military training.” she could see his wide, white smile through the movement of the towel. Aurora just stared, at war with her body. “You see some shit you like Princess?”

“Yeah,” she answered before she thought it through. The word echoed in her mind and her eyes grew comically wide. She looked down at the ingredients and mixtures on the table, picking up the bottle of conditioner she’d made for him. “This conditioner looks fine as hell! I did that shit!”

Erik put the towel over his shoulder and pulled the bottle out of her hands, shaking it and holding it up to the light. “You a wholeass comedian baby girl. What’s in this shit?”

“Aloe vera gel, honey, olive oil, grapeseed oil, neem oil, glycerin and vitamin e,” she rattled off, looking everywhere but at him. “The neem oil stinks but it’s necessary. It’s antifungal, antibacterial, promotes hair growth and relieves itchiness.”

Erik glanced down at her, a smile in his eyes, “You a lil fuckin chemist you know that?”

She fidgeted in her seat at the praise and pulled the bowl with the hair mask in it towards her. “Sit,” she told him, hopping off the barstool.

“Yes, ma’am,” he breathed, taking her place.

Aurora placed his discarded towel around his shoulders, stepping between Erik’s parted knees and started checking his scalp. Blood still pumping hard

“You washed your scalp really good. I’m impressed,” Aurora acknowledge with partly feigned surprised.

Erik pinched her thigh just below the fabric of her skirt making her giggle. “Don’t be a smartass babygirl,” he warned with a playful edge to his voice.

“Whatever shorty,” she mocked making him pinch her again. She slapped his hand lightly and stepped back to look at him. “Behave,” her face serious.

“Sorry ma’am.” he said, smothering his laugh with his hand.

Aurora kissed her teeth good naturedly, “I’m going to put the mask on now, then you have to sit with this cap on for ten minutes and wash it out after. Cool?” He nodded, eyes never leaving her face. “It smells weird but it works.”

“I trust you,” Erik stated, voice full of sudden conviction, taking Ari for surprise yet again. She just nodded, picking up the bowl and her brush and applying the hair mask gently.

“What do you do, Princess?” Erik asked after a few moments of comfortable silence.

Aurora looked down at his face. _Where is this coming from?_

"I’m a writer,” she exposed, hoping he’d stop there.

“You publish any of ya shit?”

Aurora bit her lip, focusing on parting his dreads and laying an even layer on his head. She nodded.

“Can I read it?” he smiled at her silence and shyness.

“If you can find it, sure.”

“You used a pseudonym.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yup,” she said, dipping her brush back into the bowl.

“I’ll find it,” he said with finality.

She smiled at the surety in his voice. “And you?” she countered trying to keep the giddiness out of her voice over the prospect of getting to know him more.

“I work with my cousin at the Wakandan Outreach Center in Oakland,” He stated, like it wasn’t the biggest fucking deal ever.

Her eyes darted down to his face, his eyes were closed, a small smiled on his face. “Nigga, you serious?” Erik opened his eyes and smiled wider. “How?” she exclaimed, stepping back to look at him better, his hair forgotten. “I know people who have been on the call back list for **months** and haven’t even gotten a phone interview.”

“I told you my cousin works there,” he paused, looking like he was making a decision of some kind. “My family is also from Wakanda so that probably helped.”

Aurora’s mouth dropped open and she gaped at him before she punched him in the arm, hard. “That’s where the fuck you were when you went on your fucking business trip!?”

Erik groaned, grabbing his arm in mock pain. “You hit like a girl,” he wheezed before he broke out laughing. He was _such a fucking ass_.

Aurora stared at him dumbly before she picked up her brush, silently finishing her task. She was done talking to him.

“Princess,” Erik called out to her but she just shook her head and pushed the product into his scalp. “That how it is?”

“You’re a wholeass bag of dicks,” she said after she was done, putting the bonnet on his head and setting the timer on her phone for 10 minutes.

He chuckled and pulled her towards him when she turned to walk away. She almost giggled at him in her pink bonnet. Almost.

“You mad at me babygirl?” he smirked up at her.

“Yup,” she said popping her “p.”

“You gone let me make it up to you?”

“Maybe,” Aurora said batting her eyelashes sweetly, knowing she could take advantage of the situation.

“Whatchu want?” Erik licked his lips. She almost caved and took what she really wanted.

“Tell me more about you.” Now that he was sharing Aurora wanted to know _everything._

Erik paused, his face showing this wasn’t what he was expecting. “Whatchu want to know?” his voice was hesitant.

“So you speak Wakandan?” Aurora was giddy.

“Xhosa,” Erik supplied, his face lighting up again.

Aurora paused, “Xhosa.” She liked the way the word fit in her mouth. “You speak Xhosa?”

Erik bopped his head, looking at her a little more seriously now, “Yeah, I speak it a little.” She cocked an eyebrow at him that made him chuckle. “What?”

“You don’t do a _little_ of anything,” she said without thinking. “You either do it or you don’t.”

He grinned at her smugly, “That the conclusion you came to?”

“Well yeah,” she said in earnest now that the truth had slipped out. “You’re fucking scarily proficient at everything I’ve seen you do.”

His slugs peeked over his lips, “Glad you think so, Princess.”

“So, say something.”

He reached out to grab the back of her thigh and bring her closer. “Like what?”

“I don’t know,” Aurora said, body heating up from his touch on her thigh. She tried to keep her mind on the topic and not the calluses of his hands. “Hi?”

“Mholweni,”

She beamed at him, startled at the ease in which he spoke and pleasantly surprised by the sound. “Something else!”

He laughed at her exuberance. “Like what?”

“Anything!”

“Nantoni na.”

She glowered at him and folded her arms, “Nigga did you literally just say the word anything?” He winked at her. “You ass!” she pushed at his shoulders and poked him in the dimple, chuckling. “I meant say _something_ , anything you want.”

Erik’s face turned serious again, his eyes tracking over her face for a heart stopping second before they landed on her lips. “Ndingxamele ukuncamisa,” he whispered. Aurora forgot how to breath with how deep his voice got. He pulled her even closer, “Ungumtshakazi wam.” Her hands landed on his shoulders, face dipping down to his unconsciously, foreheads nearly touching. “Ndiza kukubonisa.”

The timer rang out in the space and Aurora opened her eyes she didn't realize had fluttered closed. Erik was staring at her through his own lidded ones, mouth parted, breathing deeping.

She pushed against his shoulders, backing out of his space even though her body told her to do otherwise. She turned around, silencing the alarm and grabbed the bottle of tea tree oil talking faster than she ever had, staring at the bottle in hard. “You need to make sure you wash that out completely before massaging this into into your scalp.” Aurora thrusted the bottle in his hands, her words were almost bleeding into themselves at the speed she was talking.

“Princess…” Erik attempted to cut her off.

“You only need an amount about the size of a quarter. Do it when you hair is still damp, but don’t use that towel -” She felt like she was close to hysteria.

“Ari,” he tried again, brows furrowing, eye flicking around her face in concern.

“-you should buy a microfiber towel for your hair,” she continued even more frantically, gaze still glued on the bottle in his hand. “They have them on Amazon but if you don’t want to buy one because you think it's gay or some shit you can just use a t-sh-”

Erik picked her up like she weighed _nothing_ and sat her on the counter, stepping between her legs and putting his hands on her face. “Aurora, stop.”

She was out of breath, looking up at him with fear in her eyes. She wasn’t afraid of _him_ . She was afraid of how he made her feel; safe, free, _wanted._ All the things that Michael had told her she was never worthy of. The things he promised she would never experience again.

He looked into her eyes, seeing her raw emotions swimming in the shiny dark orbs. “You confusing as shit sometimes, girl.” Aurora was silent. She didn’t understand. “Sometimes I _know_ you can feel the energy between us,” his thumb rubbed her cheek gently. “Other times I’m not sure.”

Aurora still couldn’t speak. Every encounter they’d had up until that point flashed in her mind. The lingering touches, soft kisses on her cheeks, heated looks, teasing. Everything she attempted to compartmentalized into friendship changed in that moment.

“Am I wrong, Princess?” Erik moved impossibly closer and Ari wanted to whimper.

 _Gimmie_ her mind whispered.

She pushed her forehead into his, arm coming up to grasp at his wrist. “Erik.”

“Tell me you don’t want this shit and I’ll stop.” His nose brushed against hers and she closed her eyes again trying to fight the feeling taking her over. “Say it and I’ll leave you alone,” his lips brushed against hers as he spoke.

Aurora was panting softly.

“Sthandwa sam,” Erik called gently in the small space between them, so quiet she wasn't sure if she’d heard it. He kissed the corner of her mouth.

Aurora felt like a string had snapped as she pulled him to her as she moved forward, capturing his lips with a moan. His mouth was heaven; soft and encompassing. She could taste the peppermint he had been chewing earlier on his lips.

He kissed her softly, carefully, hands moving to the back of her head to pull her into him more. But she didn’t _want_ gentle, not now that they were _here_. She groaned into his lips, arms going  around his neck, fingers moving across his scars, pressing herself closer, tongue sweeping the seam of his lips, demanding entry.

She scratched at his back as Erik slanted his mouth over hers, tongue hot as it moved against hers slowly, like he was mapping her out.  Aurora locked her legs around him to bring her closer, hips rolling against his stiffness. She could feel him smiling against her but she didnt care, she just wanted _more._ More of this, more of him, more more more.

She sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, biting down gently before soothing gently with a sweep of her tongue.

“Fuck, ma,” Erik moaned, pulling on her ponytail for better access to her, their kiss turning sharp and hot. Her hand roamed his chest as they sipped from each other, tongues dancing beautifully.

Aurora heard the whimper of disappointment that left her when he went to pull away. Erik ignored it and dropped kisses on the corner of her mouth, her jaw, the center of her throat, that soft spot behind her ear that made her moan out his name.

“Ndifuna ukwenza oku okulungileyo,” he whispered against the shell of her ear before he pressed his mouth to hers again, smiling at her eagerness when she tried to chase him. “Not yet, babygirl.”

Aurora relented with a whine and tucked her overheated face into his neck.

Erik pulled her face up by her chin to look at him. “I’m not going anywhere baby.” He kissed her chaste and so sweet her heart constricted in her chest. “You got me, Princess.”

* * *

Tanslations:

 **Ndingxamele ukuncamisa** \- I cant wait to kiss you

 **Ungumtshakazi wam** \- you’re mine princess

 **Ndiza kukubonisa**   - let me show you

 **Sthandwa sam** \- sweetheart

 **Ndifuna ukwenza oku okulungileyo**   - I’m trying to be good for you

drop me a comment dolls

 


	6. Reneging

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY PLEASE DONT KILL ME! Also, this chapter isn’t too long.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: SLOW BURN (yeah we still in here gurl), past mentions of emotional abuse, panic attacks (it’s mild, I dont want to trigger anyone), angst, Death Note spoilers?, cussing, use of the n word.
> 
> Enjoy dolls, xo.

**Reneging**

“Wait! Wait wait wait,” Jade exclaimed shaking her hand over her beet and burrata salad. “ _You_ kissed this nigga?!”  They were sitting out on the patio at _Angelini Osteria_ , Jade’s favorite Italian spot, having lunch to celebrate the amazing meeting they’d just had at _Red Hen Press_. The publishing house loved Aurora’s second book and had preemptively offered her a deal for a third.

Aurora had wanted to keep the change in her relationship with Erik a secret - she had tried stupidly hard to do it too; going as far as locking herself in her apartment and avoiding her phone for _days_ \- but, as soon as Jade had asked about him, she just spit the information out on the table. Almost literally.

“I _know_ J,” she said into her lasagna verde, dropping her fork on her plate, exasperated with herself and her poor decisions. “What the fuck was I thinking?” Aurora speared her fingers through her hair; it was silky smooth from her straightening it the night before.

“Huh?” Jade asked confused, pushing the walnuts in her salad to a corner to eat last. “Back up bitch, what do you mean ‘what the fuck were you thinking?’”

Aurora huffed, picking up her merlot and swirling the glass. “I mean, why the hell did I kiss him?”

“Probably cause the nigga melted ya panties off speaking that African tongue to you.”

Aurora rolled her eyes and tried to fight the smile threatening her lips. “Why are you like this?” she asked good naturedly.

“You know it’s true. I’m hot from hearing you repeat the shit,” Jade admitted around a mouthful of beets. “What I don’t understand is why the hell you’re fighting this. He obviously likes you. What’s the problem?”

“Obviously?” Aurora asked hesitated. “It’s not obvious, J.”

Jade pressed her lips together. “He literally said ‘you got me.’ In what planet is that _not_ obvious?”

Aurora thought back to the heated exchange for what felt like the hundredth time the last few days. She wondered if she wasn’t looking at the situation through a rose tinted glass. Romanticising further what _actually_ happened.

“It could have been a line,” she supplied making Jade groan into her wine glass.

“ _Or,”_ she stressed the word with a sharp look in Aurora’s direction, “he could have been telling you the truth. Shocking sis, I know”

“Why would a nigga like him even want me?” Aurora damn near whined.

Jade’s gaze grew narrow as she leaned forward in her seat. “What the fuck does that mean, Aurora.”

Ari pressed her lips together, the dark thoughts she had been fighting for the last few days swirling together like tar in her mind. “I don’t know,” she sighed, sitting her glass down and picking up her fork. She began deconstructing her pasta, attempting to get her thoughts together as Jade sat patiently. “Erik is _him_ ,” Aurora started. “He’s funny, gorgeous, kind, attentive, supporting and damn near genius. He oozes sex like no one I’ve ever met. He deserves some less…” she made an emphatic motion to herself in example.

Jade folded her arms over her chest, salad forgotten and face full of anger. “Less what, bitch? Beautiful, kind, gentle, funny, _deserving_?”

Aurora sighed. They’ve had this conversation before and it never ended well. “You already know Jade.”

“Ari, this shit is not you talking,” Jade said to her best friend, hating this side of her. “That’s fucking Mike I hear.”

“Jade,” Aurora whispered before she sucked her lip into her mouth. Michael’s words had been living inside her since he said them. An oozing, festering sore that took root deep within her in the form of a constant reminder that she didn’t deserve romance and everyone she loves is going to leave her.

“Nah bitch, you need to hear this shit,” Jade reached over and took Aurora’s hand in her own, squeezing it gently. “You deserve whatever is going on with Erik. You deserve to feel happy, loved, fulfilled. Stop second guessing everything between you two. Opening up doesn’t automatically mean pain, girl.” Jade swiped her thumb across Aurora’s knuckles, a soothing gesture that had her heart constricting painfully. “From everything you’ve told me, this dude sounds like he really fucking cares about you. Let him, Ari.”

Aurora pointed her watery eyes down at their joint hands and voiced some of her fear. “What if he does hurt me?”

“Sweetheart,” Jade soothed, squeezing Aurora’s hand to get her to look up. “If he does, we’ll just kill him,” she said sweetly.

Aurora let out a watery laugh, a tear springing free. “Jade,” she chastised.

“I know I know. Humor doesn’t fix everything. Shit, you tell me that everytime.”  Jade slipped a little further back in her chair, smiling as he friend wiped her cheek. “Seriously though, you can’t be afraid to get hurt. If you focus on that, it’s going to happen to you. Stop putting that shit out in the universe.”

“You right, J,” Aurora said, bobbing her head in agreement. “It’s just hard, girl. Erik is…. _a lot._ ”

“Mmm,” Jade hummed in agreement, picking up her fork and tucking into her salad again. “Hopefully he got a lot of dick to go with it. Lord knows yo demisexual ass needs some.”

“Jade!” Aurora laughed as her friend winked at her. Her body instantly recalled the feeling of Erik’s stiffness through his sweatpants. _A lot indeed._

“Whatever, don’t get mad a the truth bitch.”

Aurora’s phone vibrated in the pocket of her dress. She pulled it out, her face flashing over to Jade.

“It’s Erik,” she said before reading the message.

_Death Note tonight? I’ll actually bring dinner this time ;)_

She snorted a laugh before she could stop herself. “He wants to come over tonight.”

“So let him,” Jade stated as if it were that simple.

“I’m still afraid,” she confessed.

“Fear is fine Ari, It’s even expected.” Jade pointed her fork at her. “Just don’t let it consume you.”

* * *

Aurora was a mess, sitting on her couch running her hands up and down her thighs, trying to calm down. She had been virtually watching _seconds_ tick by since Erik had told her that he’d be coming over at six.

It’s been a few days since they kissed but they haven’t been able to spend too much time together with her editing her book and him working crazier hours than normal. Erik had told her they were opening another outreach center in Detroit, the poorest black community in mainland USA. Preparations were happening quickly and his attention was demanded. Aurora understood, still in awe of what he did, and kept her distance so he wouldn’t be distracted.

And so that she could (over)analyze what had happened - and was happening -  between them.

Her mind began to recount everything that happened that night: the joking, the Xhosa, the _kiss that melted her brain._ She’s been trying to compartmentalize it all back into its friendship box, but it's no use. She feels like a toddler wedging the triangle shape into the square whole.

The kiss didn’t _mean_ anything, did it? They didn’t have to be different. He was still Erik and she was still Ari. Weak, easily flustered, plain Jane, boring Ari. The idiot girl who kissed her neighbor because he showed her a modicum of attention.

“Ugh, fuuuuccckkk,” she despaired, picking up a pillow and shoving her face in it. She _hates_ this. Part of her wished she could take the shit back but part of her...doesn’t? She’s so confused. She had typed out a cancellation message to him more than once in the last hour alone but had yet to send it.

Aurora had Jade’s words on repeat in her mind but, the more she reiterated, the less truth they held for her.

A knock on her door had her out of her seat, heading towards it without second thought.

“Hey,” she said to Erik who’s standing in the hall, a smile on his face already. Dressed in  destroyed jeans and his signature white t-shirt he looked relaxed and happy to see her. Aurora swallowed the ball of doubt rolling around her insides.

“Hey, Princess,” he said, stepping closer to her and eyeing her sleeveless hooded mini dress and white Chuck Taylors. “I like this.” He reached out, putting a few fingers in her pocket and pulled her closer to him.

Aurora stared at him, caught in his smile and scent, her mind clouding like it always does. “Thanks,” she whispered. “Kailoni got it for me for my birthday.”

“Mmm,” Erik hummed, face getting closer to her’s. “You smell good, babygirl.” His nose brushing against her own had her frozen in fear and anticipation.

 _Did she want to do this again? Could she? What did this mean? Was he fucking with her?_ Her mind felt like it was going to boil over and dribble out of her ears.

Erik must have noticed her inner plight. He backed up, searching her eyes with concern, thumb coming up to rub the indent below her plump bottom lip. “You ok, ma?”

Aurora nodded her head, sucking her tingling lip into her mouth briefly. “Yeah, it’s just been a really long day.”

His brow creased as perceptive eyes flitted around her face, uncomfortable silence filling the space. Aurora clenched her jaw hard and forced herself to maintain eye contact.

“Ok, Ari,” Erik said after some time. “I made dinner at my place so I figured you could just come over there or some shit.”

Aurora let out a silent breath and pushed her hair out of her eyes. “Yeah, that’s cool. Lemme just grab the cake.” She had baked her grandfather’s Death by Chocolate cake earlier in order to get her mind of this _thing_ that was happening between the two of them. She picked up the cake holder, grabbed her keys, stuffed her phone in her pocket and followed him across the hall.

She smiled up at him in thanks when he held the door for her, the smells of spices and peppers greeted her as they permeated throughout his living space.

“It smells fucking amazing in here.” She sat the cake on his kitchen island and walked over to the stove, taking the top off the larger pot and wafting the steam up to her face carefully; the aroma made her mouth water.

“Pollo guisado,” Erik supplied, voice sounding distracted.

Aurora looked back at him in time to see him popping the lid on the holder. “Ah ah!” she exclaimed, “Not until after dinner!”

He swiped the side, gathering chocolate frosting on his finger and bringing it to his lips with a wink in her direction. Aurora turned away from him to hide her heating cheeks, her mind still at war with her body. She picked up the wooden spoon nearby and stirred the hearty stew, taking note of the plump potatoes, olives and carrots throughout.  

“You really need to teach me to make this,” Aurora commented, tasting the broth on the side of the spoon.

“Yeah, I gotchu.”

Erik grabbed bowls from the nearby cabinet and they dished out dinner before settling into the couch, the intro to _Death Note_ pumping out of his soundbar.

“Why you so far away, girl?” Erik questioned as he passed her a glass of white wine. Aurora had pushed herself into the opposite corner of the couch, back ramrod straight, eyes trained on the screen.

She shrugged, taking the glass and putting it on the floor near her feet.

Erik slipped over to her and placed an arm behind her on the couch, his bowl balanced on his thigh as he ate with the other hand.

Aurora was entirely too aware of his presence, her earlier doubts keeping her silent. Was she reading into this too much? His arms slipped down and behind her ear, fingers caressing her shoulder softly. _This means nothing. He’s being friendly. We’re friends. He doesn’t want me. No one does._

“I woulda shot that nigga,” Erik said as Ryuk appeared on the screen, pulling Ari out the dark headspace she seemed perpetually stuck in. He looked down at her, humor shining in his eyes. “This fucking demon nigga popping up with that big ass head? Easy fucking target.”

She giggled at him, his words making her relax. She picked up her spoon and dug into her bowl. They watch a few episodes that way, eating the delicious food.

Erik shook his head as Light’s plan seemed to fold into itself rapidly.

“This nigga doin’ too fucking much. He should have spaced out the killings,” he remarked with disgust.

Aurora looked up at him, relaxed now and interested in his point of view. “Is that what you would have done?”

“Yeah,” Erik stated simply. “He was getting all of his victims from watching the news. He could have searched a database of criminals. Killed a few already incarcerated. Added some shady politicians and terrorist group leaders. His plan was too simple and they all died almost the same way too. He was bound to get caught.”

She mulled that over in her mind. It was a sound plan. “You sound like you have experience.”

Erik’s body stiffened a little. “I was a Seal,” he revealed after a beat. “Did some black ops, covert missions. I know how criminals think. Maybe I would have made a good one.” He smiled with no humor.

Aurora shivered, eyes going back to the screen. She knew _nothing_ about him.

Erik continued to poke holes in Light’s plan, becoming giddy when L was introduced.

“Now _here’s_ a real nigga. He has experience. And the way they drew his face you _know_ he’s a fucking o.g.” Erik enthused, licking the back of his spoon.

Aurora laughed at his reactions, loving how he could read the characters and their next moves almost instantly. His perceptiveness and attention to small details had her enjoying the series more than she had before. He pointed out small nuances she never picked up on and foreshadowing she may have missed.

“You should be a detective,” she said to him, gather their bowls and heading towards the kitchen as he paused episode four. The atmosphere around them had returned to its normal ways of good natured ribbing and snarky comments. She felt much more relaxed and began to wonder why she had been afraid of this.

“Nah, I’m not built to be a fucking cop. I hate cops,” Erik’s voice was laced with poorly concealed annoyance. Just a hint of rage at the end of the sentence.

“Who doesn’t?” Aurora questioned, opening the lid on the cake. “Want a slice?” she asked going over to search for a butter knife. She opened a few drawers unsuccessfully. The boy really loved to cook if his range of utensils said anything.

“Right here,” Erik said suddenly behind her, torso pressed to her back as he reached over to open a drawer to her right.

Aurora is almost ashamed how fast her body reacted.

She breathed out a short thank you, reaching in to pull the cutlery but he doesn’t move, he comes closer; pressing her body into the counter, moving the curtain of her hair to side to press a kiss behind her ear. she shivered.

“You’re hair is soft as shit, Princess.” He pressed a kiss junction between her shoulder and neck. “Why’d you straighten it?”

Aurora fights the urge to lean her head back against him and just _feel_ her mind throwing up warning signs at her. “I-I had to go to the office today and wanted to make a good impression.”

He stopped kissing her and turned her around to him, face serious. “Something wrong with your natural hair?”

Her brow furrowed, slightly confused by his question and stance. “No, I just thought this was better?” Why was she asking?

Erik picked up a lock of her sleekness. “Why? Don’t be ashamed of your curls and if someone doesn’t like them, fuck ‘em. Do ya business somewhere where they accept you for who you are.”

Aurora was surprised by his words. She had never thought about it that way. She just wanted to blend in and get her book published, she hadn’t realized she was subconsciously conforming to European standards of beauty to get there.

Erik leaned into her space again, voice still serious but softer. “Don’t change for anyone, Princess. You’re beautiful the way you are.” He palmed the back of her head and pulled up to him gently, his body bending to meet her in the middle. Aurora’s body thrummed and she tilted her face up unconsciously, eyes noticing the flecks of cinnamon in his dark orbs. She wanted him so bad, he had her so caught in his web but she wasn’t _worthy._

“Yiza apaha,” he beckoned.

“Stop,” she whispered, surprising them both. She felt overwhelmed and overheated.

Erik froze, head cocked to the side. “Stop? Stop what?”

“This,” she said, stepping out of his grasp and motioning between them. “Stop doing this to me.” Her voice sounded pleading.

“I don’t…..understand.” He stood up to his full height, backing away from her slowly. She immediately wanted to follow but her mouth just wouldn’t _stop talking._

“You’re playing with me,” she trembled, words she didn’t believe tumbling out of her. “You’re saying shit to me you don’t mean.”

“Am I?” Erik questioned, his arm crossing over his chest, eyes becoming guarded.

“Yeah.” Aurora sounded like she was convincing herself. “We aren’t like that. This is just you fucking with me. Poor, clueless, gullible Ari.” she spat, angry with herself. “It’s probably fun for you.”

Erik stared at her hard now, lips pressed into a thin line. “That’s what you really think? That I’m just fucking with you for fun?”

“How could it be anything else!?” She nearly shouted, the damn in her mind breaking. “You don’t want me like that. I’m not….I don’t deserve....”

 _You’re just a usable bitch, Ari_ Michael’s words broke through the box she had locked them in. _Who the fuck is going to ever want you? You’re fucking worthless. I don’t even what your dumbass. I’m just going to use you until there’s nothing left._

“Aurora, breathe,” Erik said rubbing her shoulders gently. She looked at him startled that he had moved, pulling a deep painful breath into her lungs while he whispered to her that it was ok, that he was right there with her.

“This is what I mean,” she said pushing away from him forcefully, her back hitting his countertop behind her. “I’m not...good.”

Erik held his hands in the air in a placating way, backing up again to give her more space. She was still breathing hard, the panic that had crawled up her throat not far away.

She couldn’t do this. He was going to hurt her.

“We should just be friends,” her voice sounded robotic. She was on autopilot now, all of her coping mechanisms from the past year coming out to play.

Erik stared at her, disbelief written plainly on his face before he spoke, taking a small step closer to her. “Is that what _you_ want?” Erik’s mind was sharper than she feared.

“Yeah,” Aurora confirmed numbly. She couldn’t handle any more than that. He didn’t deserve her mess.

Erik looked like he wanted to argue; he clenched and unclenched his jaw, body taut like he was ready for a fight, his nostrils flaring dangerously. But then he took a deep breath and relaxed his muscles slowly. His eyes cooled off and his jaw went slack.

“Ok, Ari,” he agreed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Whatever you want I’m cool with.” He gave her a closed lipped smile, eyes dim before turning around and going back to the couch to resume the episode.

Aurora stared at the back of his head, the theme music floating over to her now. She looked down at the butterknife clench tightly in her fist and forced her digits to relax until she could place it silently on the counter top. She didn’t want cake anymore. She wanted to run back to her apartment, crawl in the safety of her bed and sleep until she could forget this night, forget this apartment, forget the man sitting on the couch who managed to plague her every waking moment. And most of her dreams.

She walked back over to the couch, taking her place back in the corner noticing Erik had done the same.

 "I knew he was going to kill this nigga,” Erik commented about the detective entering the train on screen, as if the scene in the kitchen had never taken place.

Aurora hated herself and her decision even more in that moment.

* * *

She rolled around in her bed, tears bleeding over her cheeks as she hiccuped  in the dark. Aurora had been crying for hours. They had watched one more episode of _Death Note_ before Erik had declared he was tired and needed to rest up for the day he had coming tomorrow. He had mentioned something about a meeting, said goodnight to her and retreated to his bedroom before she had even gotten off the couch.

Aurora _knew_ in her heart she had made the right decision. She was still affected by Michael’s words. She had a museum of skeletons for a closet and didn’t want to burden anyone with them, especially not _him._

Her phone buzzed in the comforter and she grasped around the bed for it, her body feeling waterlogged and heavy.

She tossed the phone to the side, crying in earnest again.

“Shit, I hate this so fucking much!” Aurora pressed her fingers into her eyes, trying to physically stop herself from crying.

 _This is the right choice,_ her subconscious calls. _You did the right thing._

“Then why does it feel like I’ve made a mistake?” she cried into her pillow.

_I hate this._

* * *

Translations:

 **Yiza apaha -** Come here

_drop me a comment dolls_


	7. Losin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If graphic depictions of emotional, physical or psychological abuse are triggering to you PLEASE SKIP THE WHOLE FIRST PART OF THIS CHAPTER THANK YOU!
> 
> Chapter Warnings: This fic is still roasting slowly over and open fire - enjoy it kiddies, graphic depictions of abuse (emotional, physical, mental), angst, panic attacks, the OC not being sure of herself.
> 
> Suggested Listening: Losin’ Control by Russ (guys please listen to this. this is where Ari is right now.)
> 
> Enjoy dolls, xo.

**Losin'**

****

_Aurora can hear him in the other room from her spot in the back of the closet; thrashing around, hitting things, calling her name with angry promise in his voice. She’s terrified._

_“Come out here you stupid bitch,” his voice boomed throughout the apartment, close enough to be dangerous. “I_ **_told_ ** _you not to contact that slut, didn’t I?” He tossed something in frustration, the sound of wall plaster cracking made Aurora jump. “You just couldn’t be good could you? I only asked you to do one fucking thing and you couldn’t even do that!”_

_Aurora covered her tear stained face with her hands, silently begging god to keep her hidden. To let Michael rampage until he’s all out of energy and leaves in relative peace. She just couldn't’ do this. Not tonight._

_“I swear to fucking god Aurora when I find your ass this shit is going to be so much fucking worse,” he promised lowly, voice dripping with intent. “Just come out now and I’ll go easy on you.” He laughed then, gaining on her hiding spot making her push her body as close to the corner of the small space as possible. “Your dumb ass is probably hiding because you_ **_like_ ** _this shit. Hmm? You like seeing me like this? This shit makes you wet, baby? You get off on making me the bad guy?”_

 _Aurora could see him through the thin slats of the door. His body was menacing - hunched shoulders, clenched fists, crazed eyes. She covered her mouth, trying to calm the harsh breaths that were pushing through her snot filled nose._ Please _she prayed to the heavens she was sure had turned it’s back to her a long time ago._ Please just make him **go.**

_He walked over to the closet, his body casting an almost demonic shadow on her, and she almost shrieked. She pushed her hand tighter around her mouth and stopped breathing._

_It felt like hours of him just standing there as she took short calculated breaths to try to soothe her burning lungs. She could barely see with the tears in her eyes._

_Michael scratched his head looking around the area. “Even she isn’t dumb enough to hide in the fucking closet.” He walked away, booted steps echoing through the now silent space. Aurora waited until she heard the front door slam shut before she took a giant gasping breath in and let out a broken sob._

_She had to_ **_leave_ ** _\-- he would be coming back. He_ always _came back. She scrambled around her cramped hiding spot, stood up on shaky legs and crept out of the linen closet towards her bedroom._

 _The apartment was a_ mess; _couch turned upside down, pillows ripped open viciously with the stuffing scattered about like carnage, broken glass littered the floors from her china cabinet. But she couldn’t think about that. She just needed to get to her room, pack a small bag and get her car keys. Aurora pulled out her cell phone, her fumbling thumbs almost dropped the device a few times before she righted it in her shaking palm. She had to get to Jade and away from Mic-_

_Aurora yelled in pain as her head was forcefully jerked back by a hand wrapped in her coils._

_“Your ass really thought I left, huh?” he asked, mouth close to her ear. Aurora heaved, he smelled of stale liquor. “You even dumber than I originally thought.”_

_“Michael please I- aaahhhhh!” she screeched, blindly clawing behind her to get him to stop pulling her hair. He gouged the phone from her hand, jagged nails leaving welts in her skin._

_Michael clicked his tongue at her. “Did I say you could speak, bitch?” He began pulling her back into the foyer by her tresses, smashing her phone against the wall on the way. “You’re always making me treat you like this. Why you like this, baby? Why I gotta act outta pocket for you to love me?”_

_“Mike, I do love you,” she pleaded with a voice full of sincerity. She did. Even now, like this._

_He jerked her to him harshly, fingers now in her hair at the root. “What the fuck did I just say Ari?” he barked at her before his fist collided with her stomach. Her body attempted to double over but Michael had her head tight in his grip. “This is your fucking problem!” He punched her again and Aurora could_ hear _her ribs cracking. “You never do as your told!” He smacked her across the face this time, spit and blood spraying from her mouth as her head flew to the side, temporarily out of his fist’s tight grasp. Her scalp was screaming._

_He caught her again, tugging on her roots even harder and she screamed out, “IM SORRY! PLEASE! STOP! I WON’T DO IT AGAIN!”_

_Michael smiled at her, a soft gentle thing as he reached up and stroked her chin lovingly, carving a path towards her neck with soft fingers. Aurora relaxed slightly in his arms at the reassuring gesture, glad his torment of her was over. “Oh baby,” he cooed at her saccharinely before his eyes were_ **_blazing_ ** _again, hand wrapping tightly around her neck, cutting of her airway. “No you aren’t. Not yet.”_

Aurora sat up screaming into the darkness, her shirt soaked and sticking to her body, throat burning and head pounding.

“No! Please! Stop! I’m sorry,” she screamed hoarsely in the dark. “I wanna be good! Please!”

The door burst open and a lithe figure sprung forward toward her. She threw her arms out, bracing herself for the impact.

“PLEASE! NO! IM SORRY!”

“Ari! Sweetheart, please calm down girl. It’s me,” the figure spoke slowly, gently. It’s hands came up to touch her face and Aurora recoiled harshley, her back hitting the wrought iron bars of the headboard, metal roses digging into her flesh.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she cried. “Please, don’t hurt me. It won't happen again.” The figure drew closer, its long arm reaching out towards her again. Fear had her curling into a ball and crying in earnest, eyes screwed painfully shut. _Don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, please, I’m sorry._

The light flicked on next to her and Aurora opened tear filled eyes, her bestfriend’s worried face swimming in her vision. “Jade?” she shuddered, afraid this was a dream. That Michael had become some type of shape-shifting creature designed to torture her forever.

“Yeah, sweetie. It’s me,” Jade said softly, tears shining in her own eyes.

Aurora unfolded herself slowly and crawled over to her  outstretched arms, pushing her teary face into her neck and heaving a sigh.

She was safe. For now

“This is the fourth time this week you done screamed yourself awake, Ari,” Jade fretted, rocking her gently back and forth.  “We’re making an appointment to see Dr. Brown in the morning.”

Aurora sighed into Jade’s shirt and bobbed her head in acquiesce, she didn't have the energy to argue. She had been hiding out in Jade’s apartment for the last twelve days. The trauma that was her past relationship had successfully ripped a hole in her mind, vivid memories bleeding from it like a gaping wound. She couldn’t close her eyes without seeing him, couldn’t sit in silence without hearing him, couldn’t write without his words echoing through her pen.

And the dreams. The dreams were _fucking horrible._

“Will you stay with me?” Aurora requested, voice small and gruff from screaming.

"Of course babygirl,” Jade said pulling her back from her neck and smoothing her matted hair from her face. “We gotta get you outta these soaked as clothes and we’re doing something about your hair tomorrow.”

"Ok,” she agreed, body tired but the fear in her veins kept her awake. She could not go back to sleep.

"He can’t hurt you Ari,” Jade whispered. “Not while I’m here ok? I’ll protect you. I’ll always protect you.”

Aurora didn’t have it in her to tell her that was a lie.

Michael lived _inside_ of her.

No one could protect her from herself.

* * *

“How are you doing today, Ms. Greene?”

Aurora picked at the side of the wax paper cup of water she was offered, leaving the question hanging in the ar. She wasn’t ready to answer it.  Instead, her eyes gazed around the office and noticed it’s decorative warmth. It’s soft white walls were adorned with bright paintings of landscapes and floral curtains swayed in the morning breeze. Personal pictures and trinkets of the doctor’s really brought a homey feeling to the place; made it less clinical and Aurora felt marginally better about being there.

And less like a psycho bitch.

Her curious eyes landed on a plaque on the wall, encased in a soft gold frame.

_Dr. Brandee Brown. Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW._

Ari looked up at the doctor who sat on the edge of a grey chaise, patiently waiting for the her to gather some courage. She was an attractive woman; chestnut skin, kind eyes, her hair pulled up into a sensible bun.

“Good,” Aurora finally answered.

Dr. Brown lifted a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at the young woman. “Yeah?” she questioned gently yet firm; a sign that she didn’t believe her for one second and dishonesty had no place in her office. “Then what brings you back into my office almost a year after our last session?”

Aurora looked away then, feeling like a chastised child. “I _was_ better,” she whispered, her voice was still raw from the night terrors. “Before.”

“Before? What changed?” the doctor queried, pen scratching softly on her pad.

Aurora took a deep breath in, her nerves spiking suddenly. She didn’t want to talk about this; wasn’t ready. She shrugged a shoulder instead.

“Ok,” Dr. Brown conceded and changed tact. “What have you been doing since we last spoke?”

Aurora relaxed. That was an easy answer. “Writing.”

The doctor smiled. “So you took my advice.”

She had given Aurora a journal on her second visit to the office and instructed her to write down what and how she felt. She assured her that she didn’t necessarily have to _share_ any of it, but that it would help alleviate some of the anxiety she had over the…. _situation._ Aurora had taken the woman’s advice, made a career out of it and never came back.

“What did you write about?” the older woman asked, breaking off her trip down memory lane.

Aurora rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “My feelings,” she hedged.

“What feelings are those?” The doctor crossed her legs, looking directly at Aurora.

“The good, the bad and the ugly.”

“Any of those you willing to share?”

Aurora looked back down at the cup in her hands and mulled the question over in her mind. No, she wasn’t _willing_ , but she knew that wouldn’t _get_ her anywhere. She drained the cup and got up to throw it in the small trash bin near the door. She also contemplated running away from this whole session but that wouldn’t get her anywhere _either._

Instead, she walked over to the window and stared down at Wilshire boulevard; watching people hustle to and fro, a soft breeze stirring the coils surrounding her face.

“I met a guy,” Aurora found herself saying.  

“Tell me about him,” Brandee requested softly, pushing up her oval shaped glasses.

“He’s..,” Aurora paused as images of Erik invaded her mind; his laugh, his smile, his broad shoulders, the way he moved his dreads out of his face, that dip in his walk, his insistent flirting and his knowledge on seemingly any subject. “...interesting,” she finished, the corner of her lip ticking up. She gazed down at a woman talking animated on her cellphone. She missed Erik.

The doctor was quiet, gazing at her with expectant eyes when Aurora turned to look back at her. She sighed, and ran a  hand over her freshly washed hair.

“He’s funny, charismatic, attractive, knowledgeable,” - _all the things I don't deserve -_ “and completely out of my league.”

“And why is that?”

Aurora’s brows furrowed. “Because I’m broken?”

Dr. Brown looked up from her writing, a small frown on her face. “Why do you think that?”

Aurora blew air out of her cheeks, tears threatening her. She was fucking _tired_ of crying. “Why else would I be _here_?” she whispered, wetly.

The doctor leaned forward in her chair, eyes serious and worried, “Because you want help. That does not mean you’re broken.”

Aurora shook her head vehemently. The woman didn’t know. “I see his face everywhere,” she admitted quietly, as if just speaking of him would cause him to manifest before her. “I can’t sleep. I feel like he’s _following_ me.”

“Michael,” Dr. Brown stated. It wasn’t a question, but Aurora nodded her head anyway. “When did this start?” Her pen was writing almost feverishly on the page now.

“Almost two weeks ago,” Ari didn’t mean to talk about this. She rubbed her arm slowly, trying to soothe herself.

“Did something change?” Dr. Brown didn’t look up from the pad. “Your diet? Daily routine? Sex life? Medications?”

“I kissed Erik,” Aurora chuckled humorlessly with a panicked edge to the sound that made her doctor look up.

“Erik is your new guy?”

She chuckled again, it was hollow this time. “Erik’s _not_ mine, Doc.”

“Ok, then what is he?” Dr. Brown challenged.

“My...friend?” Aurora shook her head again; they probably weren't that anymore. “He’s my neighbor.” There, that was true.

“So, he’s your friendly neighbor then?” Dr. Brown smiled when Aurora bunched her lips together in thought. “Ok, let’s stick with neighbor. So, you kissed your neighbor, what then?”

“I…” Aurora’s mind attempted to go back to that night and she shut that shit _down._ Erik’s dim eyes still upset her. “It just went to shit.”

“Hmmm,” Dr. Brown hummed, taking a look at the clock. “Ok, so you haven’t been sleeping because you’re having night terrors?”

“Yeah,” Aurora admitted easily but was confused at how quickly she was found out and the sudden change in topic. “How did you know?”

“You look exhausted,” the therapist stated simply and without judgement. “Would you like a prescription to help you?” She asked, standing and walking over to her desk to retrieve her prescription pad.

Aurora started to break out into a cold sweat. “Will I be able to wake up if I’m dreaming?” The thought of being _stuck_ with Michael in that space had her heart palpitating.

“I can give you a low dosage of medicine so you won’t enter REM unnaturally.” She ripped off the page off and handed it to Aurora.

She took it and frowned up at the doctor, there was an air of finality to this. “We’re done?”

Brandee nodded, “For today I’m afraid. I have another session and yours was kind of a rush order.”

Aurora looked down at her hands, feeling like she hadn’t accomplished much.

“Aurora, I want you to come see me once a week for the next few weeks, ok?” Dr. Brown’s voice was strong - she was taking no-bullshit. “I’m glad that writing helped you for as long as it did but it’s now obvious it was a bandaid tactic.” Ari flinched at the bluntness of her words but the doctor soldiered on. “We’re going to work on you together. But in order to do that, we must be honest with each other. Can you do that?”

Ari sat there for a minute, staring at the therapist. She knew that in order for this to work she would have to be honest and open. She swallowed hard and nodded once. “I’ll try.”

Dr. Brown smiled brightly, “That’s all I’m asking for.” She put a reassuring hand on the Aurora’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “Does next week Tuesday work for you? Maybe 3?” Ari quickly checked her schedule on her phone. Once the  time and date were confirmed, the doctor handed her a card with her contact information on it. “If you need to make an emergency session, email me. I will need at least twenty four hours to schedule you. We could also Skype if it is really dire.” She paused and watched as Aurora processed the information. “Any questions?”

“No. Thank you, Doctor Brown.” Aurora shook the older woman’s hand.

“Brandee,” she insisted.

“Ok,” Aurora smiled at the familiarity. “Brandee. Thank you, Doctor Brandee,” she snarked. It felt good to joke.

The doctor laughed loudly, “I’ll take that.”

Aurora smiled at her once more and turned to leave, already feeling lighter.

“Oh, and Aurora?” Brandee called out and Aurora turned to look at her. “Try to let your friends in,” she suggested gently. “I know that they’re worried about you too. And some things may be easier to admit to them first. Ok?”

Aurora sucked her lip into her mouth and nodded. That was easier said than done. There were things she just _couldn’t_ tell her girls.

“Ok,” the Brandee nodded back. “See you next week.”

“Have a good day,” Ari said, reaching for the doorknob.

“You as well.”

Aurora breathed a deep breath of relief as she closed the door softly behind her. She _did_ it. First session down.

Jade was immediately out of her chair and walking over to her best friend when she entered the waiting area, concern in every inch of her body. “How was it?”

Aurora pushed herself into the proffered hug, sagging with relief. “Good,” she said honestly. “I have an appointment next week. Well, every week for probably forever.”

Jade pulled back and cupped her cheek, “Perfect, I’m coming with you to all of them.”

“Jade, really?” Aurora laughed lightly, she knew she wasn't getting off the hook but still. This was too much.

“Yes, for real bitch,” she said seriously. “You didn’t see yourself last night, Ari. I was fucking _scared.”_

Aurora balled the prescription  into her palm. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, ashamed of herself.

Jade clicked her tongue. “I don’t want you to feel sorry. I want you to feel better. For real this time. No running.”

“Ok, no running.” Aurora agreed.

“Good.” Jade plucked the paper from her hand. “Let’s go get your drugs, crackhead.”

“Ha ha ha bitch, you so funny.” Ari said, trailing after her.

“I know,” Jade snarked, turning around and giving her a wide smile. “First tacos then drugs. Cool, crackhead?”

Aurora smiled, loving Jade even more. “Now you talking my language, sis.”

* * *

Aurora’s apartment smelled like shit when she stepped into it with Jade eight days later. She stood with Jade in her foyer with matching, almost comical, looks of disgust on their faces. Jade walked further into the apartment first, placing her bag down on the back of the couch.

“Fuck, girl,” Jade groaned cupping her hand over her nose. “Did you forget to take out the trash before you left?”

Aurora dropped her bag on the floor and rushed over to the kitchen. She peaked into her trash and almost threw up, the smell making her stomach turn viciously. “I guess so,” she groaned taking large, exaggerated steps back. She wanted to torch the thing.

“Ugh,” Jade choked and gagged slightly. “Bitch, Imma go lock myself in the bathroom while you handle this shit.”

“Yeah, thanks, friend.” Aurora rolled her eyes as Jade rushed past her. Taking a deep breath and holding it, she popped the lid on the trashcan, tied the bag quickly, picking it up and running out of the door to deposit it in the trash shoot in the hall.

"Damn, that shit was nasty,” she said to the hallway, doubled over with her hands on her knees, pulling fresh air into her nostrils in big pulls. She shook her head and stood up, glancing over at Erik’s door. It had been nearly a month since that night. He had attempted to text her a few times but she’d dodged him, saying she had decided to visit her mom out in Arizona and didn’t have the best reception. It was lame as fuck but Aurora needed space to deal with everything happening to her right now and she knew her emotions involving Erik would only complicate things further.

Aurora sighed loudly and walked back to her apartment with a heavy heart. She didn’t want to lie to him she just needed time.

“You’re going to need to go grocery shopping, sis. Ya fridge bout bald as a bitch.” Jade said, shuffling around condiments and turning her nose up at a take out box near the back. “You want me to go with you?”

“Nah,” Ari said. She was tired from her session with Dr. Brown earlier and wanted to nap. “I been in your back pocket for too many days, I can go later.”

Jade turned around to face her friend, closing the refrigerator door. “I don’t mind, boo. I wanna make sure you eat something.”

“I will,” Aurora told her around a yawn. “I just want to take a quick nap and go over my notes before I meet with Kamia tomorrow.”

Jade’s face turned sour instantly. “I don’t have to go with you do I? You know how I feel about _her.”_

Aurora made a noise of exasperation, “I really wish you bitches got along.” Kamia Wright was her literary agent and amazing at her job. She was the single cause of the success of Aurora’s first book; helping with the connection with _Red Hen,_ demanding proper pay, and overseeing even the most minute details of the publishing process. And Jade could not _stand_ her.

“She’s a prissy ass bitch,” Jade seethed. “You should just drop her ass, I know there are more competent agents you could choose. Actually, I have some business cards.”

Ari smiled and put up her hand to stop Jade as she attempted to walk over to her purse. “Yeah, I’m not interested in anyone else. Kamia is the best. You just need to drop your vendetta against her.”

“The bitch said my editing skills were below subpar. Yet, here you are sticking your neck out for her, _again.”_

Aurora rubbed the back of said neck. “She did apologize, J.”

“A _month_ after your book released _,_ ” Jade raged.

Aurora rolled her eyes. “An apology is an apology. Suck the shit up. We a team now and she’s staying so stop being petty”

Jade kissed her teeth. “Whatever, bitch. Take your nap. I’ll talk to you later.” She walked around her friend, grabbing her purse and headed towards the door. “And make sure you fucking eat something that _isn’t_ ramen,” she yelled out before nearly slamming the front door.

Aurora rubbed at her eyes and looked over into her kitchen. Groceries could wait, she was too sleepy. She picked up her duffle bag and walked back into her room. It was a mess from when she left; drawers open, clothes thrown all over the place, bed a mess. She sighed deeply and pushed everything off her mattress, she was entirely too tired to worry about the mess.

She curled into a ball under her cold duvet and drifted off into a fitful sleep instantly.

* * *

“So, I have good news,” Kamia greeted Aurora, taking the seat across from her. They were at a local cafe near Aurora’s apartment - not Joes..she hasn’t been back since the last time she was with Erik. “ _Red Hen_ is going to nearly triple your royalties for this book.”

Ari felt like her eyes were going to bug out of her head. “What!? How?” She was near sputtering at this news.

Her agent laughed brightly, the sound feminine and light. “I showed them my case study about rising popularity among the poetry genre.” She frowned slightly. “I sent it to you about two weeks ago. You didn’t see it?”

Aurora swallowed hard, her lips forming a straight line. “No, sorry. I was having a bit of an...” she paused, looking for the politically correct term for ‘mental breakdown,’ “....issue. But damn girl! The shit must have been fire if they’re offering up that much!”

“Yeah, I worked really hard on it.” Kamia wrinkled her nose. “Everything ok?” she prodded kindly.

“Yeah,” Aurora said quietly. “I’m better now.”  Her last session with Brandee was intense, she was almost ready to talk about everything. She felt less anxious about things, less like a dark figure was constantly following her.

Kamia stared at her for a long moment, worry in her hazel eyes, before smiling. “That’s good. How’s everything else? The editing phase coming along well? Jade get my notes?”

Aurora brightened instantly. “Yeah, she got them. We’ve been changing around the format like you suggested - giving it more of a chronological feel- and you’re right. It reads better that way.”

Kamia narrowed her eyes slightly in suspicion. “Really? I haven’t received a response from Ms. Henderson. I’m guessing she read it though if you’re saying you’re making changes.” Kamia crossed her arms, appearing like she was fighting a smile. “She still salty?”

“You did come at her kinda hard.” Aurora said, taking a sip of her sparkling water and picking up her menu. She wasn’t really that hungry so she was planning on having a salad.

“Because I knew she was better than the work she was delivering,” Kamia stated with an air of finality to it. “She was being lazy so I pushed her. Now she’s amazing at what she does. Just like I planned.”

Aurora’s mouth dropped open as she looked over at her smug agent. “So, you were a bitch on purpose?” Kamia smile finally broke through over her menu and Aurora laughed heartily. “Oh, Jade is going to _hate_ you even more now.” She wanted to clap her hands she was so excited. Ari lowkey _loved_ their dynamic.

Kamia hummed. “She’s cute when she’s mad, so I’ll take it.”

“Oh my god!” Aurora gasped. “You _like_ her? Is that where all this is coming from? You couldn’t just say that to her instead of making me look like some backstabbing bitch?”

“Where would the fun be in that?” Kamia said with an almost evil glint to her eyes. She shook her head with an easy smile on her face. “Enough about that. Did you start looking at cover art?”

The two women put in their orders and began discussing Aurora’s second project; book title options, cover artists, paperback vs. hardcover options etc. It ignited Ari’s passions about her career once more. She had forgotten how much she loved the publication process - when publishers weren’t sending her rejection letters or not responding to emails at all that is.

“I think you should go on tour this time,” Kamia stated lightly, picking up her chicken pesto panini. “People are dying to know who you are. Your poems are really popular on Tumblr.”

Ari cringed, she didn’t want anyone to know who she was. She didn’t want _him_ to find her. “I like my privacy. Besides, didn’t you say remaining hidden would add to my popularity?”

“Yeah, but this book is going to be a huge success,” Kamia rebutted. “Interviews, book signings and public appearances will boost your sales and also pay really fucking well.”

Aurora balled her fist next to her bowl of cobb salad, looking at a spot over Kamia’s shoulder. “Can I think about it?”

“Of course,” her agent said, before pausing and biting her lip. “Ari, do yo-” her cell phone vibrating cut off her sentence. She sighed, “I have to take this.” Kamia stood and picked up the call, making her way to the front of the cafe.

Aurora took in a shaky breath, fearing where Kamia was going with the conversation. She didn’t want to be in the limelight.

She reached into her bag, pulling out her own phone; she had two text messages from Jade - who was probably bitching about not _actually_ being invited to lunch - and a missed call from Kailoni. She texted the latter, saying she’d return her call once this meeting was over.

Aurora was placing the phone back in her purse when a business card caught her attention. She pulled it out.

_Krav Maga Worldwide._

_Fitness With Fight_

Dr. Brown had given it to her at their last session with a firm suggestion that she consider taking self defense lessons.

 _“If you know how to defend yourself, you’ll feel much more in control of your life.”_ she remembered the doctor saying.

Aurora pulled up the website on her phone and looked over the course curriculum and prices. She typed out a quick interest email to the generic address and stuffed both the her phone and the card back into her bag.

 _What can it hurt?_ she thought.

“Sorry, about that,” Kamia said, returning to her seat. “Another client who _does not_ handle constructive criticism well.” She picked up a french fry and regarded Aurora with caring eyes. “You sure everything is fine? You don’t want to talk about anything?”

Over the past year Kamia had begun to slowly become one of Aurora’s confidants and friends. She had had questions over the pieces in the last book and had assured Ari that she would be there if she was needed.

“Everything is getting better,” Aurora reassured her. “I’ll be good.”

“That’s all that matters, sis.” Kamia smiled and dropped the topic. “So, let’s talk titles!”

* * *

Aurora picked up the last pile of folded jeans and put them in their proper place amongst her chest of drawers.

“Fucking finally,” she huffed, wiping her damp brow with the back of her hand. She’d spent the rest of the afternoon after he meeting with Ms. Wright cleaning up the mess of her apartment, the action therapeutic in a way and keeping her mind off things.

The Krav Maga school had gotten back to her as well and she had booked a tour of the facility for later in the week.

Aurora wanted to keep the productivity high she was feeling going, so she grabbed her car keys and headed out the door, intent on going grocery shopping.

“Ndakuxelela ukuba ungaphumi kule nto (I told you to stay out of this),” she heard Erik’s annoyed voice when she stepped out into the hall. Her head snapped over her shoulder where she found him locking his own door, his shoulder hitched up to hold his phone in place.

“Andifuni uncedo lwakho (I dont need your help),” he growled into the phone as he turned to the elevator, slapping the “down” button.

Aurora made her way over to him slowly on light feet, debating if she should let him catch the elevator alone, her desire to see him be damned. He seemed extremely agitated.

Erik stepped into the elevator and turned,spotting her; their eyes locking and they both froze. Aurora was overcome with a sense of deja vu. She had forgotten how beautiful he was. He was wearing a denim paint splattered button down and army green camo pants, his sunglasses sitting atop his dreads. She swallowed hard, standing awkwardly in the hall feeling like a deer caught in headlights. Or maybe more like she was cornering a dangerous animal.

Erik’s hand shot out to catch the closing door as his face crumpled back into anger, voice hissing into the phone. “Umnxeba kwaye ukhansele! (call her and cancel)” He looked up at Ari again, beckoning her forward with his hand.

She moves forward then, body immediately obeying as Erik watched her with intense eyes. She stepped into the cab and pushed herself into the corner. The air between them felt charged and alive. Aurora pointed at the button for the lobby in silent question and he nodded his head.

“Le nto ayiyi kuyenza kwakhon (dont do this shit again),” he sighed into the receiver before he ended the call and shoved the device in his pocket.

“Sorry if I interrupted you,” Ari spoke quietly, staring ahead at the door.

“Nah, you didn’t interrupt nothing,” Erik’s voice was almost hesitant. He turned to her, studying her profile for a second. “How was your trip?”  

Aurora bit her lip still looking straight ahead, she didn’t want to lie to him. “It was good. Necessary.”

Erik hummed, his voice sounding far away, “Yeah, sometimes you need to go back home.” The elevator reached the ground floor and they exited, both heading for the doors. “Where you headed?” he called out to her when she also turned toward the parking lot.

Aurora hit the unlock button on her black Dodge Dart, conveniently parked next to his red NSX. “I gotta go grocery shopping or I’ll be eating nutella and pickles for the rest of the week.” She made him chuckle and her heart stuttered at the sound.

“Yeah that sounds like a nasty ass combo,” he agreed, walking over to his driver’s door, not sparing her another glance. “Good luck with that.”

She stopped mid step in front of her vehicle and looked at him, already hating herself for what she was about to ask. “Wanna come with me?” She knew she was wrong for this. She had essentially shunned his affection and ignored him for weeks. She didn't deserve his company.

He frowned at her before pulling his glasses over down his face. “Nah, I gotta go get a haircut and a car wash.” He didn’t sound too thrilled.

“Oh,” Aurora said lamely. “Gotta date?” she attempted to joke.

His mouth turned down even further. “Yeah, I do.”

Her scalp prickled and she felt like someone had knocked the wind out of her. Of course he did. Did she really think he was going to wait around for her? She really _was_ a stupid bitch.

Aurora forced some semblance of a friendly expression on her face. “Oh,” she repeated, her voice sounded flat so she cleared her throat. “Well, have fun!” She waved at him and kept her back straight as she walked over and entered her car.

“See you later, Aurora,” she heard him call.

She turned the engine over and pulled her phone out, pretending to look for a song for the ride. Her heart felt like it was splitting in two.

The first tear fell as soon as he pulled away from his spot.

* * *

 

_Drop me a comment._


	8. Oblivion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If graphic depictions of emotional, physical or psychological abuse are triggering to you PLEASE SKIP THE FIRST PART OF THE LAST SECTION OF THIS CHAPTER THANK YOU!
> 
> IM SO DAMN SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER! HERE TAKE 10K WORDS!!!!
> 
> I don’t like writing angst guys. I want these two idiots in love to just kiss and make up and fuck like rabbits so bad I almost changed the timeline just for that to happen but I said I was giving you guys a slow burn and *Erik’s voice* when I tell you something I mean that shit. We learn a little more about Michael in this chapter and our favorite girl Ari makes some major strides towards healing. It’s all up from here I hope. Thanks to everyone for sticking around for this story and sending me encouraging words while I was struggling to write this shit. Love you all!
> 
> Suggested Listening: Oblivion (Creation) [Feat. Dr. Chill] - Jhene Aiko
> 
> Poems by Rupi Kaur from The Sun and Her flower & Milk and Honey
> 
> Enjoy Dolls xo.

**Oblivion (Creation)**

****

Aurora gnawed at her lip worriedly as she stared at the grey building and its dozens of windows from the seat in her car a safe distance away; as if the facility could smell fear and point out her cowardice. She wiped the sweat that had gathered on her neck from sitting in the hot car contemplating skipping her tour of the gym for the last twelve minutes. She still hasn’t made an effort to move, sweat be damned. All of the fire in her soul she’d had when she left her apartment to make the trek down to the West L.A. area has completely died down, fear replacing it like a cold tentacle wrapping around her mind. Aurora sighed and pulled out her phone with the intent of calling Mara back and cancelling when it began to ring in her hand.

Jade always knew when she needed her, even when she wasn't there.

“Jade,” Ari greeted, ashamed of how small her voice was.

“Heeeeyyyy biiiiitchh!” Jade bellowed, chasing away the negative clouds hanging above her and focing a small laugh out of Ari despite her anxiousness. “Wassup?”

“Nothing,” Aurora sighed, knowing she’d have to tell the truth. “I just pulled up to Krav Maga class. I’m waiting for my appointment.”

Jade hummed into the phone, tone showing she knew her bestfriend was leaving out key details. “Mmm, you sitting in the car talking yaself out of it aren't you?”

Aurora rolled her eyes toward the ceiling of her Dart. “How do you always _know_?”

“Cause we bestfraaans, sis,” Jade bragged, making Ari feel even more like a coward hearing the pride in her friends voice. Ari really felt that she didn’t deserve her friend’s love sometimes. “What’s wrong?”

Ari chuckled mirthlessly and glanced back at the facility. “I’m not sure I should do this, J.”

She heard Jade smack her lips lowly. “Ari, you got this bitch. All that doubt and fear is all in your head. Shake that shit off girl, you better than that.”

“I know I know,” Aurora sighed, taking her key out of the ignition and playing with her keyfob. She had less than three minutes until her tour was scheduled. “I got this,” she huffed without feeling it.

“So get ya ass out the car and go kick some ass! Or Imma come over there and kick yours!”

Aurora smiled genuinely this time and opened the car door to the hot afternoon heat. “Ok, damn! I’ll call you when I’m done?”

“You better!”

Ari hang up, put the phone in pocket of her joggers, and straightening her back. She still wasn’t fully confident but she was here and she was going to see this through. She was really tired of fear ruling her life.

“Come on, bitch,” she whispered to herself as she took long strides towards the door, a hand over her face to shield herself from the merciless sunshine that stretched what felt like infinitely across the sweltering parking lot.

Aurora swung the heavy door open and stumbled into the facility on clumsy feet, her cheeks heating up when a few heads turned towards the slight commotion she’d caused. She fought the urge to cover her face and walked over to the reception desk, her head not quite as high as it was a few moments ago.

“Good morning,” the gentleman - Stephan if his name tag was correct - greeted her with a wide smile when she reached the desk. His tawny skin and brown cropped hair shone in the light emitting from the floor-to-ceiling windows and his demeanor was friendly but professional. “What brings you in today?”

“Oh uhh,” Aurora stuttered, pulling the folded paper out of her pocket and handing it to him. “I have an appointment with Mara for a ten o’clock tour?”

Stephan took the paper with a kind smile and picked up the desk phone. “Mara, Ms. Greene is here for you.” He listened for a second and said a quick thank you, hanging up before he looked back up at Ari, “She’ll be down in a few seconds. In the meantime, did you have any questions?”

Aurora looked around the front of the facility.To her right was a small sitting area with unremarkable chairs and tables, the walls painted a bland grey. The academy’s mission statement was presented in bold letters on the back wall. To her left was what she can only describe as a cardio room. Ellipticals, treadmills and cycles littered the space and were the key source to the heat emitting in the front of the gym the small ceiling fans doing nothing to cool the area down. Towards the back she can just make out what may be a locker room with stairs leading up and down on either side.

“How big is this facility? Like, how many rooms?” she asked Stephan, craning her neck to see into the building further.

“There is the cardio room which is to your left, free weights, a boxing ring, and two sparring rooms upstairs and a pool in the lower level.”

Aurora looked back at him with an impressed face, “Wow, you guys really thought of it all, huh?”

“We tried to,” a feminine voice replied. She could only guess it was Mara who was approaching the desk quickly, a greeting smile on her face. She was a tad taller than herself with long brown hair and athletic body. Ari wondered if she could get her body to look like _that._  “Aurora?” she asked as if Ari wasn’t the only one standing at the reception desk. Aurora shook her head anyway. “Mara. Thanks for coming in.”

Aris shook her outstretched hand meekly, “Thanks for the quick reply and setting this up so soon.”

Mara nodded in reply and gestured for Aurora to follow her. “Is there anything particular you want to see first?”

“Uhh, no, not really?” Aurora replied as she fell in step with the perky brunette. They walked throughout the facility with Mara patiently explaining what each room was used for and the rules and regulations for the pool, sauna and locker rooms. When they arrived at one of the training rooms on the second floor Aurora peeked in shyly at the ongoing class.

“Would you like to go in?” Mara questioned when she noticed her interest, preemptively opening the foggy door for her with a gentle smile. Aurora hesitated for a moment before she stepped into the muggy classroom and took stock of the training areas. The back of the space was lined with heavy bags of varying sizes, floor mats and free weights lined the mirrored walls. Despite the fog on the door, the room was surprisingly well air conditioned, the high ceilings helping the ventilation.

Aurora stayed close to Mara as they made their way to the front of the class where she was introduced to another trainer, Kevin, a middle aged man with salt and pepper hair and crows feet around his eyes; she liked him instantly. Ari watched as the class, paired out into groups of two or three, practiced what she was told was a cross body punch. The students pushed their opponents back a few feet with the palms of their hands. The technique used to gain back their personal space as well as throw the attacker off balance, giving the defendant the upper hand.

“What do the classes normally consist of?” Ari asked Kevin with her eyes trained on a girl about the same size as herself take on a man three times her size. She was mesmerized, immediately envisioning herself taking down _him_.

“Classes are generally an hour to an hour and a half. We start with our salute, the students line up facing the instructor by hierarchical belt order and we state the schools oath,” Kevin explained, his arm sweeping up to show the schools pledge printed in the space above the mirrors behind them. “Then we warm up for for about twenty minutes. It’s mostly light physical training; jumping jacks, push-ups, sit ups. Things to get the blood moving and get the muscles ready. After that we spend about thirty minutes on technical subjects; today we’re focusing on punches and elbow strikes.” Kevin paused, walking over to a younger looking boy and fixing his stance and arm placement. The boy looked up, a bashful expression on his face before his determination set in again and he landed the punch perfectly. Ari smiled gently, pride for the boy blooming in her chest. “After subjects,” Kevin continued, walking back over to reclaim his spot next to her while his eyes continued to rove over the class, assessing, “we move on to technical revision, which is where we are now. We try to show practical application of each technique during this section and provide revisions as necessary. Then we have our stretch and cool down followed by another salute to end the session.” Kevin looked back at Ari then. “Did you have any questions?”

Aurora blinked at him, her mind processing the information, before her eyes went back to the woman in the back of the class. “No, this is a lot to take in, but I think I’m going to try.” Aurora pulled her eyes from the girl and looked up into Kevin’s nodding face.

“Well, welcome aboard,” he stated, shaking her hand firmly.

Aurora smiled gently and followed Mara back downstairs to conclude their tour.

“You said you were interested in the women’s self defense classes,” Mara mentioned as she opened the door to the office for them a few minutes after, motioning for Ari to sit down in the chair and rounding the desk to sit in her own. “Those are held on Monday’s, Wednesday’s and Friday’s at 1pm. You can also schedule one on one classes ad hawk as you see necessary. The one on one classes are more catered to the strengths and weaknesses of the student and can be really helpful if you want to advance in belts quickly.”

“I’m not too sure about the belting system,” Aurora admitted looking down at her hands. “I don’t want to make a commitment I can’t keep.”

The other woman nodded her head not looking surprised at all. “That’s understandable,” she stated pulling a paper out of one of the files on her desk and passing it over to Aurora. “What I would suggest is purchasing a class bundle. You can either get a package of three, five or seven that you can attend whenever you wish as long as it is within a year of the purchase date. That way you can get a feel for the environment and the curriculum while learning basic defense before you make up your mind. How does that sound?

Aurora looked over the reasonable prices and the schedule. She knew this was the smarter option and, that if she left here without at least _trying,_ she’ll feel like a failure. “That sounds like it’ll work. I’ll take the five course package.”

“Excellent!’ Mara trilled, pulling her keyboard closer to her. “Now, I just need your ID so we can get you signed up.”

Thirteen minutes later Aurora was waving goodbye to Stephan at the desk with a promise to see him soon, her new KMW keychain dangling against her wrist.

She walked back to her car, much more determined than before, typing out a quick message to  Jade.

_I start Friday._

* * *

Aurora paced the small office waiting for Brandee to enter; she had told her that she was finishing up with a client and to make herself at home.

She had been antsy about her session since she’d woken up drenched in sweat and screaming at four that morning. The night terrors were becoming progressively worse the closer she got to this session and Aurora felt the anxiety crawling under her skin like the fingers of her inner demons, trying to find a weak spot in her flesh to break through.

That same anxiety was the reason she had _literally_ run away when she’d seen Erik walking in  her direction earlier, his attention on the phone in his hand, a small frown on his plump lips. She had been busy staring at the way the sun lit up his skin and bounced off his wire framed glasses that when she noticed he was getting closer it was almost too late. She’d jumped into her car and pulled out the lot before he’d even gotten a chance to look up.

Ari walked to Dr. Brown’s desk and noticed the clean notepad sitting in on top of her neatly organized table calendar. She knew writing the emotions out would more than likely help her calm down, but she didn’t want the therapist to feel as if she was invading her privacy. Although she did say to make herself comfortable….

Aurora eyed the tablet with trepidation before she picked it up, pulled her favorite pen out of her bag and sat on the chaise. She took a deep shaky breath and began to write.

_The art of_

_letting you go_

_hasn't been_

_a graceful one._

 

_I've stumbled_

_scraped my knees,_

_and sought you to heal_

_the very wounds_

_you inflicted._

 

_My denial was louder_

_than the sun._

_You were never_

_my remedy._

Ari drummed the pen against the pad, her anxiety still in high gear, and looked over the piece written in her loopy script. These words were a truth she had been trying to hide for the past year and a half. The fact that she needed him. The possibility that, in some sick and demented way, she still _does._

An image of Michael standing towering above her, nostrils flaring as dangerous mirth danced in his eyes conjured in her mind and dread quickly filled her veins like liquid nitrogen.

“No!” she shrieked, standing quickly from the chaise and throwing the pad across the room; as if the action would somehow get him to stay away from her forever.

“‘No’ what?” Dr. Brown’s voice inquired from behind her and Aurora froze, and tried to calm her labored breaths as she turned slowly to her therapist. Brandee stood near the door, her keen eyes assessing her astutely, worry deep in the brown depths. Embarrassment burned in Aurora’s cheeks as she rubbed her sweating palms on her jeans and diverted her gaze.

“N-nothing,” she breathed while fighting the urge to shuffle her feet.

_Way to go, Ari. Lie to your therapist. ‘Cause that will help everything._

Brandee walked over to the younger woman and grasped her shoulders lightly, making Ari blink up at her in surprise at the intimate gesture. The therapist studied her face with a deeply thoughtful expression and Ari wasn’t sure if she was looking at her or through her. There were times where she felt like the doctor knew more about her than she even knew of herself and that made her slightly uncomfortable.

“You look like you still aren’t sleeping,” Dr. Brown remarked letting Ari go and backing up a few inches to give her space.

Aurora reached up and pressed her fingers into the dark circles that had made a home under her eyes. “I do...sometimes,” she admitted, deciding to be truthful from that point in their session on - no matter how bad it got. “The pills just seem like they’re really strong.”

“Would you prefer a smaller dosage of your prescription?” she suggested, walking over and picking up the notepad that Aurora had thrown near her desk.

“N-no,” Ari stammered, sitting back down on the chaise. She hadn’t actually taken a single pill the doctor had prescribed, choosing to stay awake until she literally couldn’t anymore instead. It wasn’t the _best_ option but at least she could control when she woke up. _Mostly._ Jade had been threatening her with an impromptu sleepover for the past 24 hours and Ari was very close to taking her up on that offer. “I don’t want to take the meds.”

Dr. Brown sat at her desk and pulled her glasses out of their case. “Why?” she inclined gently, turning a page on the pad and pulling a pen out of the “world’s smartest mom” mug that sat on her far corner of her desk.

Aurora hunched her body in the chair with her eyes glued on her pink Pumas _._ “I’m still afraid to dream,” her voice sotto.

“What do you dream about?” Brandee questioned, her pen scratching her pad lightly.

Ari sucked in a breath through her teeth and steeled her mind so she wouldn’t see the images she could feel prodding the back of her skull. The night terrors were coming more often recently, darker and more twisted than the last. She didn’t want to start seeing them in her waking hours.

“I,” she started, before she took a deep breath and forced her jaw to relax, “can’t talk about them, Doc.”

Brandee nodded and made a quick addition to her notes. Aurora hated that, it made her feel she was being assessed. Like some kind of fucked up science project to see how far it would take before she _cracked._  “If you can’t tell me about the dreams,” Dr Brown began, “can you tell me about Michael?”

Aurora looked up at the doctor sharply, her immediate reaction was to tell the woman “no” but she knew if she did she had no reason to be here. Dancing around the topic  would never get her anywhere which is why she’s still sitting in this office over a year after the relationship ended. In order to heal, she needed to talk and in order to talk she needed to not be _afraid_.

All this is easier said than done.

She _wants_ to get better though. She wants to be able to go out without having to look behind herself constantly, to laugh freely again, to feel whole and worthy.

All the ways Erik had started to make her feel again.

Through the haze of constant sleep deprivation these last few days, she’s done nothing but think about him. He was still her motivation, even through this.

“Where should I start?” Aurora asked, confused at where to even begin with this shit.

“Why not the beginning?” Dr. Brown prompted, crossing her hands over themselves and giving Ari her undivided attention.

The younger woman swallowed roughly. “Ok,” she whispered and then cleared her throat. “The beginning.” She searched her mind, allowing memories and thoughts she had repressed for so long to bubble up to the surface. She stood then, turning away from the doctor and unable to sit down as she weeded through the unpleasant times, searching for the happier ones. Her mind latched onto the memory threads tightly as to not get lost in the carnage of abuse and manipulation surrounding it.

“I met Michael in college,” she began. “We were taking an entry level course, _geography of a globalizing world,_ and we got paired on a project. It was my first real time looking at him. I was _painfully_ shy in college.” She paused, her lips twisting bitterly at how meek she was. “I rarely even looked at my own classmates. I didn’t want them to take it as an invitation to speak to me.” She laughed lightly at herself, she was even afraid to look at her own professor because she didn’t want to talk out loud in front of everyone. “The day we were assigned to each other was the first time I’d looked at him. Like, _really_ looked and he was gorgeous.” She could still picture him that day; his fresh brush cut, bright hazel eyes, full lips, and smile that had made her _weak_ as soon as he’d flashed it. “He told me that I was beautiful. That he had been hoping to catch my eye all semester and I just couldn’t believe it. Why would a nigga like him even want to talk to me? I was shell shocked at first but his words really...I don’t know? Spoke to me? The longer we talked that day the more I fell for him. Like, nothing around me even fucking mattered anymore. I didn’t even notice the professor dismiss us….. It was almost as if,” Aurora paused biting her lip, those tender moments at the beginning of her relationship were the reason she’d stayed throughout everything. “It was almost love at first sight.” She turned to the doctor then. “Can you believe that?”

Dr. Brown adjusted her glasses, patience radiating from her comfortingly. “Yes Aurora, I can.”

Ari turned away from the knowing look in the therapists’ eyes, choosing to look at a spot of chipped paint in the corner instead.

This is why she hadn’t come back. The thought of someone knowing how vulnerable and torn she really was had her mind wanting to shut down. She wrung her hands tightly into each other and forced herself out of her comfort zone and to continue.

“Everything was fine in the beginning. He was like prince charming,” Aurora smiled bitterly. “He’d wait for me outside of my classes if he was free, sit with me in the school cafe to help me with Stats, made copies of his books so I wouldn’t have to buy mine, listened to me when I talked about _anything_ . He doted on me. Praraded me around school as if I was the best thing in his life.” She could feel the tears burning the back of her eyes. “Sometimes I still wish I could go back to that point. Where he loved me as much as I loved him.” Ari pressed her fingers against her trembling lips still trying to fight the onslaught of emotion. Parts of her _still_ loved him. _Missed_ him even.

“What happened next?” Dr. Brown’s soothing voice broke her Aurora’s rapidly spiraling thoughts.

Ari sniffed wetly and sighed. “He started to change. Slowly. He would get mad when guys would look at me or when my friends would ask to hang out. I just chalked it up to him being possessive and a tad bit jealous. It actually use to _excite_ me,” she spat, face balling up in disgust at herself. “I took it as a sign that he really cared for me. But when it started to get bad I tried to talk to him about it, to figure out where this was coming from. He told me about his mom, how she abandoned him. He admitted he was afraid to lose me like he lost her and I felt bad for ever doubting him.”

“And what about _your_ mom?” Dr. Brown interjected, looking up from her pad.

Aurora turned to look at her, confused. “ _My_ mom?”

The doctor nodded. “Did he try to stop you from speaking to her as well or did he just keep you away from your friends?”

_“You call her everyday, Ari. Stop being a baby,” Michael accused, taking the phone from her hand gently and placing it on the nightstand behind him._

_"I_ **_don’t_ ** _talk to her_ everyday _.” Aurora said as she sat up in bed and attempted to reach over him to get her cell back. “She’s lives in Arizona by herself and I need to make sure she’s ok. That’s not being a baby.”_

 _Michael’s smiled didn’t match the confusing darkness in his eyes. “You love her_ so _much. I’m starting to get jealous,” he said in a honeyed voice, catching her hand and bring it to his mouth, brushing soft kisses across her knuckles. “I don’t think you love me that much.”_

_She rolled her eyes and pulled her hand from his grasp, slapping his chest playfully. “You know I love you, Mike. So much.”_

_His face turned lustful and demanding as he palmed the back of her head and pulled her closer to him. “Then_ **show me** _.”_

“He said I was being immature,” Ari whispered as the reality of her past began to dawn on her. “He made me feel like wanting to talk to my mother was childish. Made me feel bad for wanting to spend time with her. Said I loved her more than him.”

“Isolation. Tactic four out of sixteen domestic abusers utilize bring their lovers to heel ,” Brandee supplied. “He needed to separate you from your support system - your family and friends - in order to weaken you and prevent you from hearing an outside perspective. To manipulate you as he saw fit and to bring you into line with his own beliefs.”

Aurora’s head tilted to the side as she took in the doctor's words, her mind not wanting to believe she could be manipulated that easily.

“Did he say the same for your friends? That you cared more for them than him?” Dr. Brown questioned.

Ari nodded, “He really _did not_ like Jade. He said that our friendship was unnatural and that Jade only wanted to eat my pussy.” She clapped a hand over her mouth quickly. Of _course_ her filter decided to take a vacation right now.

The doctor chuckled at her reaction before looking at her seriously again. “He did these things, not because he could love you better, which I’m sure he told you, but so that he could control the information you were receiving. If he was your single source of information you lost the ability to differentiate what was right and wrong and the ability to make a clear headed decision. This also enabled him to become your entire support system, making you feel like if you lost him you lost everything. That way it would be harder for you to leave him.”

The younger woman stared at her for a moment, a sick feeling spreading in the pit of her stomach as she recognized the truth in therapist's words. Ari reached up and touched her golden jaguar necklace absentmindedly, the action giving her a fleeting feeling of safety. “He would get mad when I would talk to anyone without him there,” Ari whispered, ashamedly. “He sometimes would make plans at the spur of the moment and make me choose between hanging out with him and my friends. If I didn’t choose him he’d ignore me for a few days and make me feel bad. He always said it was ‘ _us against them.’_ ”

Dr. Brown nodded her head. “He wanted to keep the nature of your relationship private so no one would interfere. So he could control you completely and uninterrupted.”

Aurora sighed deeply and pushed her fingers into her hair, tilting her head back to ceiling with the hopes of stopping the tears from coming. She had always thought staying with him through everything had made her stronger somehow. That it showed that she could endure any kind of pain in the name of love. She didn’t know she was being _manipulated._ “I was so _stupid_ ,” she sniffed bitterly.

“No,” Brandee disagreed. “He was a master at he did. You were the victim here, Ari.”

Aurora looked over at the older woman, heavy tears raining down her face now. “I should have seen the signs. I should have _known_ what I was getting myself into. What he was _capable_ of.”

“That’s not true either,” Brandee said. “You said yourself that he was a prince in the beginning. Abusers always present themselves in a flattering light in the beginning so that this image can be used to their advantage; they’ll recall the past and how caring they were anytime they need to cover up their abuse. His control of you took _years_ because he had to break your mind first _._ He was cunning and devious and you were not _wrong_ for falling for him. He was wrong for doing what he did to you.”

Aurora shook her head vehemently, she couldn’t believe that. Everything that had happened, everything that he _did_ was her fault. Being controlled had to be too.

Dr. Brown could see that she was not getting through to the abused woman and came around her desk, holding out a book. “I want you to read this.” 

Aurora took the book with unsure fingers, turning it over to read the cover. _Take Your Power Back._ She looked back at the doctor. “Wow, thank you.”

Dr. Brown gave her a warm smile. “It worked for most of my other patients,” she disclosed. “And for me as well.”

Aurora’s eyebrows hiked up in surprise. “You?” she asked in shock. “Y-you’ve been through….someone’s done this to you?” She looked Brandee over slowly, searching for signs that anyone had controlled or hurt her in the past.

“Yeah, Ari, I have. And because of that I decided to help women like us,” she said, gesturing her hand between the two of them. “I know what it’s like to feel like you’re broken and will never be fixed. Everything you’ve told me today shows that you’re ready to head down the road of recovery. This book helped me when I realized that and now I want to pay that information forward.”

Aurora didn’t feel that she was anywhere close to healing. The fear that gripped her whenever she thought of the past was still raw and devastating and anytime she spoke of _him_ she felt as if she was picking at a festering scab that refused to heal. It just bled and spewed puss every time she went to lick it clean.

“I know it doesn’t feel that way right now,” Dr. Brown said causing Ari to wonder if the women was also telepathic, “but the more you talk about this, the more you face your demons, you’ll find that it will be easier to see this from a different angle.”

“Do you have superpowers, sis?” Ari wondered out loud. Brandee looked taken aback for a moment before she tossed her head back and laughed. The sound melodic and feminine and brought a sliver of brightness to Aurora’s mood. “You always know what I’m thinking.”

“No I don’t have superpowers,” she grinned, “but thank you for thinking so. You just wear your emotions very clearly on your face is all. It’s endearing.”

Aurora shrugged sheepishly, wiping her face and turned the book over in her hands.

“I’d like for you to read at least the first chapter of that and then we can talk about it next week, ok?”

Ari studied her for a moment. “The session is over?”

“Yes, unless you had something else you wanted to share?” Dr. Brown cocked her head to the side, biting the corner of her lip to keep from smiling. “How are things with your friendly neighbor?”

Aurora squinted her eyes playfully, “He’s _just_ my neighbor,” she declared and Dr. Brown’s grin broke out freely. Ari shook her head at her before she sighed. “I’ve kind of been avoiding him?”

“Oh?” Brandee questioned, surprise coloring the one syllable word. “Did something new happen?”

“I may have ignored him for close to a month?” Aurora stated, her face apologetic.

Dr. Brown nodded. “Can I ask you a personal question? Off the record?”

“Uhh,” Ari babbled, “sure?”

“How do you feel about Erik? Do you like him or are you _really_ just friends.”

Ari looked down and away quickly. “I do like him but I feel like I ruined that shit.” She was met with silence for a few seconds so she looked back up at the therapist who bounced her eyebrows for her to continue. “Ok, shit. You’re almost as bad as Jade,” she giggled. “I kinda...freaked out on him and accused him of trying to play me cause I’m gullible.” Brandee looked at her evenly. “You don't look surprised?” Ari questioned.

“Given what you’ve gone through thats a common coping mechanism and defense tactic,” Dr. Brown stated, taking off her glasses and rubbing them on her cardigan.

Ari folded her arms across her chest. “I thought you said this was off the record. Why you psychoanalyzing me?”

Brandee smiled gently. “Because I’m calling you out on your bullshit so that you can get better.” Aurora’s mouth hung open at the older woman’s words. “You said you like him right?” Aurora nodded. “Then here’s a word of advice: Fix this. Talk to this boy, tell him how you feel and allow the relationship to grow naturally. If you don’t try this you’ll still be living in your ex’s shadow and he will have won.”

Aurora contemplated this for a moment, pulling her lip through her teeth slowly. “I’m not sure how receptive he’ll be to my emotions after I turned him down in the worse way.”

“Then show him slowly. Win him back if you want him. Don’t let him get away.” Dr. Brown grasped the hand Aurora held the book in, her gaze never wavering from the young woman, a fire lit within their depths. “This is your life, own it. Show that son of a bitch you haven’t lost your will to live.”

* * *

The afternoon sun flitted in through the curtains, warming Ari’s face as she sat at her kitchen counter, taking nibbles of her shrimp egg roll. She wasn’t too hungry after her meeting with Dr. Brown but she hadn’t had breakfast before it and her clothes were all fitting her a little more loosely everyday so she’d stopped and picked up some Chinese from _Wok N Roll_ on the way home.

Her phone pinged next her indicating she had gotten an email. Aurora brushed the crumbs off her fingers and tapped in her passcode, pulling the message up from her Gmail app.

 _Concept Concept Art_ it was labeled and Ari smirked and rolled her eyes at her friend.

“Really, J? We haven’t even picked a title yet.” She mumbled and scrolled down the email, looking over the various pictures Jade _obviously_ got from Google or Pintrest; or a combination of both. She scowled at the cliche image of an eagle and outright laughed at the cat with his paws stretched in the air with the quote “you can do it” scrawled on the bottom.

“Really sis?” She shook her head and continued scrolling down the list of images that was rapidly getting more ridiculous with every thumb swipe.

Aurora was just about to close out of the email at the picture of a cartoon dragon hoarding a pile of dildos when the next option down caught her eye. It was a [large wicker statue ](https://www.google.com/search?q=the+burning+man+festival+statue&safe=off&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS726US726&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjfh9Gzp9zbAhUxvlkKHWxKCVQQ_AUICigB&biw=1600&bih=794#imgrc=qmMUMgPvQxz_oM:)of a dancing woman, her back arched towards the sky; breasts pointing proudly and arms reaching back beautifully. The low setting sun peeked through her translucent belly as if she was giving birth to the planet itself. A feminine universe. She stared in awe for a few moments, almost moved to tears before she slid her laptop over to her and googled the image.

Ari pulled up the email and sent the picture to Jade. _This one,_ she wrote.

She was scrolling through more images from the Bliss Dance and the Burning Man festivals, some captivating and some damn near nightmarish, when her bestfriend’s response came though.

_Thought you would like that one :). Don’t forget our meeting is in forty minutes. I have to meet with another client right after so don’t be a late bitch!_

Aurora kissed her teeth and told her she was leaving soon She filled her thermos with her virtually untouched cup of blueberry tea and packed her things into her small _Chanel_ backpack, a vintage classic and gift from her mother when she graduated from Villanova.

 

Erik was coming in from the stairs when she closed her door and she froze at the sight of him.

He looked _amazing._

Aurora had seen him earlier but was so busy running away she hadn’t had a enough time to appreciate him like she was now.

He was wearing a deep red suit that had to have been tailored with the way it was painted on him. The color paired beautifully with his russet skin, the stark white shirt brought out his bright smile, and the black tied brought it all together perfectly.

Aurora took stock of him head to toe, appreciating the cut of his pants a little too well before she ended on his Louis Vuitton loafers.

“Take a picture, Princess,” he called out and she looked back at his face; his slugs gleaming in his wide smile.

“Hi,” she said walking over to him and feeling under dressed in her white tee shirt and jeans. “We gotta stop meeting like this,” she joked.

“Sup?” he asked turning and giving her his full attention, his eyes sliding over her body heavly. She preened under his gaze. “I never mind meeting you in the hall.”

Neither did she. Especially when he looked like _this._

“You look nice.” She stopped a few feet away from him, not wanting to get in his space. “Something special happening at work?”

Erik bopped his head, hiking his messenger bag higher on his shoulder. “I had a meeting with a group of civil engineers regarding the Flint water crisis. We’re going to be opening a Center there next and I wanted to know how bad the situation was before I started pissing off some colonizers.”

Aurora’s admiration for this beautiful, caring man grew every time he spoke to her. “Colonizers?” she asked confused. The term was a little weird. “You mean white people?”

Erik chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck briskly. “Yeah, my bad. I’m so used to saying it.”

Aurora laughed at his unnecessary embarrassment. She wanted to hug him badly in that moment, so she clasped her hands behind he back to abait the urge. “I didn’t know you were so involved with these projects.”

He smiled and looked down for a second. “I _am_ a little bit more than a pretty face.”

Aurora pursed her lips comically and put her hands on her hips. “Who said ya face pretty at all?”

Erik gave her a “really?” look for a moment before he put his hand over his heart, his face crumpling and faux pain. “Ouch baby, you really know how to hurt a nigga.”

“What. Ever,” she chuckled and stepped forward to push his arm playfully. She bit her lip for a second before asking, “How was your date?”

Erik sighed then, twirling his keys on his finger. “It was aight,” he grumbled, not a hint of happiness in his voice.

Aurora damn near smirked but she bit the corner of her lips to smother it. “It ended kinda early,” she stated before she could stop herself.

Erik narrowed his eyes at her in annoyance. “Yeah, I’m not that kinda nigga, Ari.” He turned to open his door and end the conversation.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” she exclaimed, stepping towards him to what? Stop him? She knew she couldn’t stop Erik from doing a fucking _thing._ “I-I just heard you come in kinda early and thought…..” Did she just admit to eavesdropping? “ _Fuck,_ I’m always putting my foot in my mouth when I talk to you,” she huffed to herself.

Erik looked over his shoulder at her. “Yeah, you are. It’s cute though so I always forgive you.”

Her cheeks began to heat at his compliment and she shuffled her feet. “Yeah, thanks for that.” Her phone vibrated and she knew it was Jade making sure she had left. “That’s my friend,” she said pulling her phone out and confirming her suspicion. She rolled her eyes and told Jade to keep her fucking panties on before she looked back up at Erik, who still hadn’t opened his door and was looking at her with humor in his dark eyes. “I’ll see you later?” she questioned hopefully, tucking the phone back into her pocket and pulling her bag back on her arm.

“We still haven’t finished _Death Note,”_ he answered, hiking a challenging eyebrow at her. “You think I’m letting ya ass forget that? Nah, Princess. You stuck with me till it’s over.”

 

The smile that took over her face was gigantic. _He still wants to be friends!_ Elation filled her so quickly that she was almost dizzy with it; vertigo slamming into her sharply. She took a woozy step to the side and braced herself against the wall. If Erik noticed her said nothing.

“You sure about that, Stevens?” she joked back, taking the bait happily. “There’s an awful lot of episodes. You might regret that decision.”

“Stuck,” he said again, pointing a finger at her in warning. His eyes were bright with humor.

She tossed her hands up in defeat. “Ok, ok. Let me know when you’re free and we can watch it.” Aurora turned and pressed the call button on the elevator.

“It might be sooner than you think, ma.” Erik said.

Aurora gazed up at him, caught in his chocolate stare. “Even better,” she whispered.

He winked at her and stepped into his apartment. “See you later, Princess.”

“Later.”

He closed his door softly and Aurora slumped against the metal ones at her back, the extreme emotions pumping through her made her body weak.

“He wants to be friends,” she whispered to herself joyfully. “Thank go-AAAH!” The doors opened and Aurora nearly fell to the floor inside the cab. She shrieked before she righted herself, tapping the _door close_ button in rapid succession, afraid that Erik would come out because of the commotion. The doors finally closed and the cab began its descent as the smile took over her face gain.

_He wants to be friends._

_She still had a chance._

* * *

Aurora walked up to the contemporary house exactly seven minutes before their scheduled meeting, the setting sun lighting the sand colored exterior up, the golden tones pleasant to the eye. Aurora double checked the time and decided she would use their secret knock instead of the bell. She banged hard on the door without any rhyme or reason relentlessly until a furious faced Jade greeted her.

“Bitch, what the fuck was that?” She demanded.

“It’s our secret handshake, sis. You forgot?” Aurora asked, pushing past her and into her brightly decorated home. The monochromatic, futuristic vibe always shocked her whenever she entered the spacious home.

“We don’t _have_ a secret knock, bitch,” Jade fumed after her slamming the door.

“We do, it’s just a _really good_ secret.” Ari sighed dreamingly, stroking her grey curtain. “I need to let you decorate my place. I feel like I need a new start.”

The vexation in the woman’s face disintegrated immediately. “Really? Bout time you started to notice bitch. I been telling you this for years.” Jade rubbed her hands together conspiratorially, an almost evil grin on her face. “When you wanna start?”

Aurora turned to her overly enthusiastic bestie and shrugged. “Probably when my book releases. I’ll have some extra coins to play with then.

Jade scoffed and walked away in the direction of the kitchen. “You know I know someone who knows someone in every situation.” Aurora trailed behind her, still drinking in the simple but beautiful decor of her interior designing. She always told Jade she should do it professionally.  “Jeff owns a painting company and I pay next to _nothing_ for all my supplies. Paints, primer, rollers, tape.” She rattled off.

“Who the fuck is Jeff, J?” Aurora asked, following her voice into the kitchen to find her taking something out of the oven.

Jade turned to her, placing a ceramic dish on the natural cork trivet sitting in the middle of her island. “Some nigga I fucked from some designer function I attended a few months back.” She lifted the lid from the pot. “Cobbler?”

Aurora instinctively walk over to one of the stools, all thoughts of Jeff forgotten as she placed her bag on the counter. “Is there ice cream?”

Jade tossed her oven mitt down in annoyance before pulling the _Phish Food_ ice cream she kept specifically for Aurora out and slammed it on the counter. “Of course there’s ice cream.”

Ari licked her lips in anticipation. “Then yes, cobbler.”

Jade chuckled at her friend’s one track mind before cutting two, hot and sloppy servings of the peach confection and adding ice cream to one. She turned up her nose and handed it to Aurora, “I don’t know how the fuck you eat this. It’s so fucking weird.”

“Tuh-wy iih,” Aurora challenged around a mouth full of peaches and marshmallow. She scooped up some of the goopy combination on her spoon and held it out to Jade.

“I’ll pass,” Jade stated with an upturned nose before she tossed her straight hair over her shoulder. The doorbell rang and Jade looked at Ari. “Who is that?”

Ari bounced a shoulder, her focus on still on her plate as she swirled the flavors together in a . “You live here, sis not me.”

Jade placed her plate down forcefully and stalked over to the front door.

An evil grin spread wide over Aurora’s mouth as she turned on her stool  to watch the exchange; her seat giving her a clear view of the front door.

Jade opened the door cautiously. “Kamia?!” she screeched. “What the hell are _you_ doing here?” Ari wondered if Jade even noticed the way she stood straighter and ran a subconscious hand over her grey leggings.

“Hello Ms. Henderson. Nice to see you, too. I was invited,” Kamia supplied, stepping over the threshold and regarding the spacious interior with appreciation. “Nice digs.”

Jade threw Ari a quick “you’re dead to me” look before she looked at Kamia’s ass in her form fitting sundress slyly. “Thanks.”

Kamia turned and  spotted Ari who was still stuffing her face with her sticky goo. “Hey boo!” she greeted, swaying her way towards her more than likely knowing that Jade was following her every step.

Aurora put her plate down and hopped off the stool to give her agent a hug. “You look _nice!_ I love ya buns.”

Kamia winked at her quickly before patting her twisted up locs. “Thanks, sis. It smells delicious in here. Who baked?”

“Who?” Jade asked incredulously, joining them in the kitchen. “You in _my_ house, who else?”

Kamia cut her eye over to the moody woman. “Ari couldn’t have bought it over?” Jade visibly deflated and Ari bit into her fork to keep from chuckling at Jade’s expression. People _rarely_ shut her up and Kamia did it without even _trying._ “May I have a plate?”

Jade propelled forward, almost _too_ eager to help and opened the cabinet to the right of her guest, handing her the dish.

“Thanks,” Kamia said with a small knowing smile. “Have we started?”

Aurora pushed her empty plate to the side and pulled her notebook from her bag. “We were waiting on you.”

“Were we?” Jade fumed. “Funny, I wasn’t told we were.”

“Well, I’m here now so should we start or not?” Kamia questioned while loading her plate with warm peaches.

Jade rolled her eyes hard and pulled out a folder with various images and font examples stacked neatly in it; her demeanor shifting to her business woman persona; Aurora still thought it was frightening how well she managed the two.

“Aurora has already preemptively chosen this as her inspiration,” Jade announced pulling the image of the dancing statue that Ari had sent to her out of the pile and placing it in the middle of the three of them. “I have taken the liberty of finding images similar to this one from a local artist I know.” She placed more images around the original and Ari sucked in a breath. They were _beautiful._ “She’s actually been to the Bliss Dance and Burning Man festivals and was deeply inspired by both. She would be ideal for this project because she can give us exactly what we’re looking for with little effort.”

Aurora touched the image closest to her. It was of another wicker woman, her body curled in on itself like a flower mid bloom, back curved delicately, her arms cradling her fragile body. The moon shown through it bright and beautifully.

“Did you send the original image to any other artists?” Kamia asked archly, manicured fingers skimming over the photos. Aurora raised her eyes to her in time to see the mischievous gleam in her green depths.

Jade folded her arms over her chest defensively, her demeanor cracking slightly. “No, there wasn’t a need when this is what Ari is looking for and what the artists specializes in.”

Kamia pretended to mull that over while she rolled the cobbler around in her mouth. “Hmm, no there is def a need, sis. You could find a better artist for a better price,” she advised before pointing to her plate with her fork. “This is good as fuck by the way. I would _love_ to have your recipe.”

Jade blinked her eyes in surprise at the comment before her previous statement set in. “No, I’m not giving you my recipe, it’s a family secret. And you don’t even know how much she requested.”

“There is _always_ a better price.” Kamia batted her eyes sweetly at Jade.

“Whatever,” Jade hissed, business persona completely forgone as she swiveled her neck toward the taller woman. “Ari loves the art already and she’s a new artists and asked for next to nothing. What did _you_ even bring to this meeting?”

“My experience, something you clearly lack if you think jumping at the first artist you see is a great way to do business.” Kamia said evenly, still eating her cobbler unbothered.

Ari snuck her phone out with the intention of sending this to the Snapchat group chat; the energy in the room was high and even _she_ was hot and bothered.

Jade’s brown eyes flashed with anger and indignation and she slapped her hands against the island, leaning forward towards the literary agent. “Excuse you? I _did_ my research and found this girl after hours of searching. Who the fuck are you to tell me that I lack experience?” Jade leaned closer to Kamia smoke almost literally leaking from her ears.

Kamia leaned in closer as well, matching the editor’s stance. “Research and execution are two totally different things, sweetie. Didn’t you learn that in college?” She smirked sharply at Jade’s quick inhalation, knowing she’d hit a nerve. “Did you even _go_ to college?”

Aurora pushed her thumb down on the record button, not wanting to miss a thing.

Jade laughed hollowly, moving even closer to the taller woman. “I know your ass saw _both_ of my degrees sitting on the wall in my foyer when you were gaping like a fish earlier. I have many more accolades spread through my _large_ home. Miss me with that bullshit, _sis.”_

“Oh that’s cute,” Kamia leered. “Too bad you aren’t using the knowledge you claim to have. Your poor planning skills are telling on you, boo.”

“Boo?” Jade spat, face so close to Kamia’s that her eyes nearly crossed. “Ain’t nobody here ya lover, guy.”

“You sure about that?” Aurora interjected their heated, literal nose-to-nose debate, her attention on the phone in her hand. She added a filter and the caption “UST?” to the video and sent it off to the chat. “Cause y’all might as well kiss at this point.”

Kamia’s eyes flicked down to other woman’s before she lifted her brow in anticipation of getting what she wanted. Jade blinked owlishly a few times before licking her lips unconsciously, fighting her body’s response to the woman she _knew_ she couldn’t stand. Kamia’s answering smirk snapped Jade out of her lust and she  pushed away from her forcefully. Ari laughed heartily and loud.

“Look, let’s just pick out something and we can send it over to a _few different_ artist’s and see what we get back.”

Kamia snickered before picking up her fork again. “Now, you’re starting to sound like an expert.”

The three women spent the next thirty minutes sending the ideal photo to a few artists, discussing color schemes, choosing fonts, and talking titles. The latter had the three stumped for quite some time as Ari didn’t look excited for any of the given options.

“I’m not sure,” Ari said looking at the list of possible book titles. “None of this _clicks_ for me.”

Kamia scraped the side of the cobbler dish with her finger, ignoring Jade’s disgusted face as she brought the sugary substance to her mouth. “That’s fine girl, think on it and come back to us with something you like.” She grabbed her bag and put on her sunglasses on top of her head. “I have to go girl. It’s spin night and if I’m late Clark’s ass is gonna take my favorite cycle.”

Aurora smiled at her and got up to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll let you know when I hear something back.”

“Alrighty.” Kamia looked at Jade’s annoyed stance with a amused smile. “See you later Ms. Henderson.”

“Yeah bitch, don’t hold ya breath.” Jade muttered back.

“J!” Aurora reprimanded, when she heard the door closed.

Jade stared her friend down sternly, annoyance still clear in her face. “Don’t do that shit again.”

“Do what?” Ari chimed sweetly.

“I got the notification on Snapchat, don’t play coy or Imma beat ya ass.”

“Wow! Ok, I’m leaving cause you is coming for blood right now and I am _not_ the one.” Ari annouced, grabbing her plate and taking it over to the sink.

“Mmhmm, you lucky I got this appointment in an hour or else I’d be digging in ya ass right now,” Jade told her friend as she walked her to the door. “Ol’ tratorious ass.”

“I _told_ you that Kamia is part of the team and this was a _team_ meeting. You shoulda known she was coming, too,” Ari defended. She turned and gave her friend a bone crushing hug. “Thanks for everything today girl! I had fun..at your expense.” Ari gave her a smacking kiss on the cheek and opened her front door.

“Wait,” Jade said, putting an arm on her shoulder. “You look happy as hell and it wasn’t just from this shit,” she looked her up and down slowly. “You talk to that nigga?”

Aurora huffed pressed her lip together. “You know I’m starting to think you’re following me around wearing a 35 cent mustache and a bad bush costume.”

Jade’s eyes crinkled adorably at the corners. “So you _did!_ Everything good? You still gone let him fuck?”

Ari turned from her quickly and started making her way down the stairs. “You know what, I dont need this shit.”

“Aaaaayyeee!” her bestie called out after her. “Make sure that nigga lick the puss before he beat it up!”

“Good BYE, J,” Aurora shouted back, unlocking her car and opening the door.

“Call me when he done, girl!”

Aurora shook her head and got into her Dart. She turned the car on and plugged her phone in looking for an upbeat song to match her happy mood.

Jade’s text popped up a few moments later.

_I love you, call me if you need me._

* * *

_“Ari, hurry up with those fuckin’ beers!” Michael bellowed out from the couch with an angry voice making Aurora jump in fear. She placed the knife down on the cutting board with shaky hands and turned to the refrigerator to retrieve and uncap four beers, squeezing the freshly cut limes into their mouths._

_Michael had showed up a few hours earlier with a case of beer and a scowl on his face, wanting to know why she hadn’t ordered the fight like he’d told her to. She didn’t recall him asking this of her and when she had said as much she was met with an echoing slap to the face that almost split the skin on her lip._

_“You can’t never remember shit, huh?” he had asked as he pushed past her and loaded the refrigerator with Coronas. “At least order some pizza,” he demanded. “Maybe you can handle that.”_

_Aurora sighed silently and fluffed her hair hoping it would cover her rapidly bruising eye before she grabbed the sweating necks of the Corona’s and walked gingerly into the living room._

_“Here you go,” she chimed with a forced smile on her face as she handed out the beers to each of the men._

_Keith, Michael’s_ _least_ _favorite friend, grabbed her wrist lightly when she handed him his, looking up into her eyes with a concerned expression. Aurora bit her lip after a few seconds went by and retracted her wrist out of his hand, she could see the tick in Michael’s jaw from her peripheral._

_“You aight, Ari?” Keith asked, his eyes on the right side of her face. Right where Michael had struck her earlier._

_She turned her head away from him, ensuring the bruise out of view. “Y-yeah, just tired from work is all,” she lied before turning back to the kitchen. “The pizza should be here soon. Let me know if you need another drink!”_

_Aurora walked into the kitchen, her heart pounding as she prayed Michael wouldn’t make a big deal out of the exchange. She turned on the faucet and began washing the cutting board, pretending her hands weren’t shaking as hard as they were._

_“You like her, huh?” She heard Mike question his “friend.”_

_“What?” Keith asked, annoyance coloring the word heavily._

_“Aurora. My bitch,” Michael supplied slowly as if he was talking to an annoying child who asked too many questions. “You like her or sumin’?” Aurora gripped the sponge tightly as she ran it over the blade of the knife, the soap suds causing it to glide quicker than she meant and she almost cut herself._

 _There was a long pause before Keith answered and Aurora wanted to turn to see the exchanged, to take in Michael’s expression so she could see how fucked she really was, but she was too frightened to turn around and call attention to herself. Where was this coming from? Michael normally just snapped on any nigga that even so much as_ glanced _her way so why was he asking his friend this?_

_“Nah,” Keith answered after a few seconds more and Ari let out the breath she was holding._

_“Oh,” Michael said and she could almost feel him looking at her, his dark orbs burning twin holes into her skull. “Because, if you were interested, you could fuck.”_

_Aurora’s grip on the knife faltered and the utensil feel into the sink with a loud clank._

_“Nigga what?” Keith’s disbelieving voice was louder this time._

_"If you wanted to fuck her you could.” Aurora could hear the twisted smile in her boyfriend’s voice. “I’ll loan her out to you if you want.”_

_Tears blurred Aurora’s vision as she dropped the sponge into the sink, wanting to run from the room but knowing her punishment would be worse later if she embarrassed him that way._

_“You serious right now?”_

_Ari heard Michael chuckle and get up from his seat, his booted steps coming towards her. She wiped her face roughly and went to retrieve the dropped sponge and knife when he caught her wrist in a bruising grip. She looked up in surprise, her body turning slightly towards him as he pulled her._

_“Yeah,” Mike called back to Keith as he glared down at the small woman, darkness leaking from his eyes like a demon. “I think Imma start selling her pussy on the side. Lord know she ain’t good for shit else.”_

_Aurora ripped her arm from his grip almost violently, furious at his words. She wanted to slap him, to curse him, to tell him to get the fuck out of her house but the evil smirk that appeared on his lips from her defiance had her shrinking into herself again, the fire dying down to cold coals in seconds._

_Michael leaned down, invading her space and getting to her face and Ari turned back to the sink, picking the knife up again to continue to clean it. She needed to do_ something _to distract her from the waves of anger emitting from his figure ominously. She was reaching for the sponge when Miike snacked her chin and a bruising grip, forcing her to look into his irate face._

_“What you think, Aurora?” he prodded. “You think I should sell that tight pussy of yours? It’s about the only useful thing you own.”_

_“No,” she seethed, the knife squeaked in her grasp and bringing her boyfriend’s attention to it. She swallowed heavily when he looked back up at her, his nostril flaring._

_“You gone use that knife for something baby?” he asked, reaching down into the sink and towards her hand._

_She shook her head as much as she could with her chin still between her fingers. “I was cleaning up.”_

_“Mmm,” he hummed. “We’re you?” He gripped the end of the handle, her hand wasn’t covering and pulled forcefully. Aurora gasped and tried to let go of it but he was pulling too fast; the blade sliced into the skin of her hand, blood pouring into the sink instantly. She tried to scream out but he covered her mouth with the hand that was on her chin, and leaned closer to whisper in her ear. “You clearly didn’t do a good job.”_

Aurora shot up in her bed breathing hard, tears already soaking her face. The image of the blood splattered sink was caught in her mind and nausea rolled hard in her belly. She stumbled out of bed with her hand covering her mouth, fighting to make it to the bathroom before she blew chunks all over her carpet. She’d barely made it to the toilet, grasping the edges as she heaved heavily, her small lunch spewing against the porcelain forcefully. She flushed the toilet with a weak hand when she found herself doing nothing but dry heaving and sat back against the wall breathing hard, her abs hurt from all the exertion she went through and she doubled over in pain.

“God,” she sobbed into her hands. “Please, just make it _stop_ ,” she plead out loud knowing it would do nothing except make her feel worse.

Aurora stayed on the cool tile floor for a few moments trying to get her bearings and fearful that her stomach begin rolling again. She pulled her hands away from her face, staring at the long silver scar on her left palm. She had buried that particular memory deep in her mind. It was one of the moments she realized just how deep Michael’s savagery went; when he showed her just how little he cared for her. It frightened her that it how somehow unearthed itself from her psyche. She contemplated never returning to therapy briefly, knowing if this was the result of it, but her doctor was right. She had to face her demons in order to heal and this was an unfortunate side effect of that process.

She couldn’t hide under the covers anymore, she had to tell the boogeyman she was unafraid. Even with a shaky voice and trembling body.

She sat on the floor for a few moments before she forced herself up and brushed the bile from teeth. She wanted to get out of her apartment, maybe take Jade up on the sleepover idea, so she grabbed her bag off her bed and her phone and car keys from her foyer before heading out the door.

Aurora stepped into the hall and locked her apartment, her phone in the other hand as she asked Jade if she had any plans for the night. She was walking past Erik’s door when she paused, the rhythmic sound of a drum calling her attention away from the elevator. The music didn’t sound like it was coming from his stereo system; she could almost _feel_ each pound from his hand in her body.

 _He plays?_ She thought before her mind recalled the set of drums she’d seen tucked away against the wall in his apartment. This was another part of him that she wanted to learn.Ari inched closer and closer to his door until she was almost pressed against it, the hypnotic and dark beat pulled at her soul’s ear invitingly. The melody was almost as haunting as it was enchanting and Aurora found herself nodding to the bass and anticipating the staccato repetitions throughout the intricate piece.

It made her fingers inch to write. Words bled from her soul, wanting to meet the music.

She slid down the wall near his entrance slowly, dropping her phone on the floor near her while her mind focused on each beat of his hand. Her almost drunk fingers began to fish around her bag for her journal and pen.

_i do not want to have you_

_to fill the empty part of me_

_i want to be full on my own_

_i want to be so complete_

_i could light up a whole city_

_and then_

_i want to have you_

_cause the two of us combine_

_could set it on fire_

 

Aurora sighed gently as she read the words back to herself. She really wanted Erik - in whatever capacity she could get him - but she had to heal first. And she needed to rest in order to do that.

Her phone vibrated next to her.

 _I’m home, bitch, come over. I made meatloaf and we can watch_ King Arthur _for the hundredth time._

Aurora smiled and typed out a quick “omw” message. She sat there for a few more moments, feeling a unique closeness to the man on the other side of the wall. She decided she would hit him up tomorrow, picked up her things, and walked down the stairs to her car.

* * *

_drop a comment loves xo_

 


	9. Erik's Interlude I - Longing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, because I was away for so damn long, here's another update!
> 
> A few things about this chapter - This is written entirely from Erik’s POV. The time stamps at the top of each section show how many days since the end of chapter 6 has passed. Also, I did some research on kimoyo beads, because I’m a nerd and a perfectionist and get hung up on the smallest details, and you can actually use sign language to text someone using them. I thought that was dope as fuck so we see it here. 
> 
> Warnings: SLOW BURN (lmfaoooo), abuse of the internet, cousin shenanigans, copious use of the n word. 
> 
> Suggested Listening: Opposites Attract by Kendrick Lamar

Erik's Interlude I - Longing

(Poems by K.Y. Robinson from _T_ _he Chaos of Longing_ and Rupi Kuar from _T_ _he Sun and Her Flowers.)_

**Day 3**

Erik sat on his couch, flipping through mind numbing channels of trash television, his mind on the girl down the hall. He hadn’t seen nor heard from her for a few days, her car isn’t in its usual spot and he’s hard pressed to say she never came back home the day after their fallout.

_Is that what it was?_

The night has been stuck on repeat in his mind since. Her wide fearful eyes, the defensive stiffness in her body, the uncertainty in her voice when she suggested they be friends. There’s more to the story than she’s letting on but he knows he can’t push her; she’s too fragile right now.

His phone pinged next to him and he snatched the device up faster than he cared to admit. His notification screen showed that it was only an email from T’Challa with the outline of his responsibilities and the timeline for the Chicago center. The same email he had sent _yesterday_ as well.

Erik smacked his lips. “Get off my dick,” he barked and tossed the device to the side again. He didn’t need his cousin telling him how to do his job. He knew what the fuck he was doing.

He scrubbed a hand over his face roughly before switching the tv off, walking over to his desk and turning his laptop on. His mind immediately shifted back to Aurora without prompt.

_"We aren’t like that. This is just you fucking with me. Poor, clueless, gullible Ari.”_

He gritted his teeth, wishing he had told her just how fucking wrong she was. He thought about that girl every fucking day. Everything reminded him of her; music, flowers, tv shows, art. He had a fucking playlist dedicated for her and shit. He hadn’t been on a date or gotten his dick wet since he’d first met her. And now he was sitting at his computer thinking of doing something he’d never done for anyone, outside of a mission, in the past.

He needed more information.

Erik activated his communication bead to send a text to Shuri. He signed out the message and waited for it to translate to text..

_Hey, you busy?_

She called him almost immediately and he patched the call through, her laughing face popping up in front of him.

“N’Jadaka!” she greeted happily. “To what do I owe the annoyance?”

“Sup, Nutmeg?” He smiled back, his sour mood lifting slightly. He missed the little nerd more than he thought.

She groaned comically, rolling her eyes. “You know how much I hate that nickname. I am _not_ a mad scientist.”

“You were mad every time I came into the labs.”

“That’s because you were always poking your large nose into my business,” she sassed back, the small lift at the corner of her lips belying her sharp words. “You were always wreaking havoc and starting _literal_ fires.”

He kissed his teeth, “That was _one_ time -”

“Yeah, and the flame almost caught my face,” she interjected. “I would have had eyebrows like _yours.”_ Her chuckle broke through at his comical expression.

“Ha fucking ha Shuri,” Erik growled with narrowed eyes. “I need your help.”

“When don’t you?” the scientist joked but Erik could see she was moving to a more secure area of her lab. “What now?”

“I need to find a book,” Erik stated.

 Shuri raised her eyebrows, confused annoyance taking over her features. “Why did you call me then genius? Have you forgotten how to use your beads again? Children remember this better than you, Killmonger.” Erik winced, he knew then that he’d really pressed her buttons. She only ever used that moniker when he hit a nerve and wasting the princess’ time was the biggest nerve of them all. “Look, just activate the AV bead and download the library dat-”

“It’s not that easy, kid,” Erik interjected this time. “I need to hack into a database for this.”

Her slack jawed expression made him chuckle. “Are you connected to your laptop?” she asked walking back over to her workstation and dismissing her assistants.

Erik sat up straighter, his mind zoning in on the task at hand. “Yeah, connecting to you now.” His fingers glided across the keyboard as he opened the VPN to her lab and shared his screen with her.

“Got it,” Shuri confirmed. “Name?”

Erik bit his lip for a second, guilt _almost_ stopping him. “Aurora Greene.”

The scientist’s eyes snapped back to the screen. “Ari?” she smiled. “You stalker! Why don’t you just ask her?”

He pressed his lips together, “I did and she wouldn’t tell me. She used a pseudonym so I’m trying to figure out what it is...”

Shuri stared at him for a second, easily reading the agitation in her cousin’s voice before she gave him a curt nod. She would ask later, he knew. “You know anything else that may help us? Nickname? Mother’s name?”

Erik huffed a breath and scratched at his beard. “Nah, she’s not really forthcoming with information on her past.” If she was he wouldn’t be doing this.

“You know which publishing house?” Shuri changed directions as she pulled up a list of business in the LA area.

“Mmm, nah.” His eyes scanned over the names on the screen; _Waterton, Red Hen_ and _Taschen_ popped out at him.

Shuri performed a quick search and together they narrowed down on _Red Hen Press_ as the company dealt entirely in poetry.

“Check their contracts,” Erik instructed making Shuri look up at him again, skepticism and hesitancy marring her brow.

“You’re serious?” she breathed. He knew how crazy this sounded but he needed to know and, seeing as how Aurora had yet to answer the text he’d sent her hours ago, he was doing what he needed to. He had to scratch this itch. “Erik, this is an _extreme_ invasion of privacy-”

“I already told her I’d find it,” he argues weakly. _By any means necessary,_ he thought.

“Ok, but to what extent?” Shuri reasons back, knowing with the determined set to his chin meant he wasn’t backing down. “If Ari finds out you did this her trust may be shattered.”

“I know and she won’t.” He’d make sure.

“Erik-” Shuri tried again.

“Look Shu,” he sighed and pulled up the company’s employee site with ease. “I’m doing this shit with or without you. I need this information aight. So you in or you out lil nigga?”

The scientist studied him for a brief moment, the familiar fire in his eyes telling her all she needed to know. “Yeah, I’m in,” she accepted against her better judgement. “But only because if I don’t help you’ll end up in jail like last time.”

Erik rolled his eyes, tension he wasn’t aware he was holding in his shoulders dissipating with her agreement. “I _didn’t_ get locked up.”

“Mmhmm,” she answered, logging into their legal database and scrolling through the contracts, locating the file labeled _A. Greene_. “That’s because I destroyed your motherboard before the CIA could get to it. Found it!”

Erik leaned forward and double clicked the file, sharp eyes scanning the document quickly.

“Talia Peyot?” Shuris voiced.

“Talia,” he repeated. He knew that name from somewhere. He logged out of the website, Shuri making sure any digital footprints they may have left have been completely wiped, and pulled up google; Shuri watched him with unconcealed interest. She tended to forget that he’s as capable as he is now that he was no longer putting around in her labs, asking questions and challenging her view of things.  “Here,” he breathed.

“ _Talia, the Sun and the Moon_ ,” she acknowledged. “Yeah, the original Italian version of _Sleeping Beauty_ by Giambattista Basile..”

“ She’s named after the Perrault version,” Erik smiled, appreciation for his girl oozing onto the words. _Clever girl_

“Peyot is French though,” his little cousin pointed out. “Is she from France?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe her family?” It was starting to annoy himhow little he knows of her.

“Her book is called _Breaking Pointe,”_ Shuri supplied. “And, it’s in stock and on hold for you at _Gatsby Books_ which closes in,” she glanced at the clock, “an hour. Better get a move on, cousin,”

“Thanks, Nutmeg. I really fucking owe you for this.”

“Yeah whatever, lil nigga. Don’t mention it.” The call disconnected and Erik barked out a laugh before slipping on his 11’s, grabbing his keys and wallet, and damn near running out of the building.

* * *

**Day 8**

Erik stirred the caramelized garlic, mushroom and onion mixture once more before scraping it out of the pan into the bowl he had waiting on the side. The sounds of _Opposites Attract_ bumped from his soundbar but his mind was somewhere else.

He sighed deeply as he took the pan over to the sink and eyed his copy of _Breaking Pointe_. He was starting to feel like he couldn’t move without having it near him. He had been pouring over the anthology for close to a week and felt like he had a slightly better understanding of his Princess now.

  _i_ _tried to leave many times but_

_as soon as i got away_

_my lungs buckled under the pressure_

_panting for air id return_

_perhaps this is why i let you_

_skin me to the bone_

_something_

_was better than nothing_

_having you touch me_

_even if it was not kind_

_was better than not having your hands at all_

_i could take the abuse_

_i could not take the absence_

_i knew i was beating a dead thing_

_but did it matter_

_if the thing was dead_

_when at the very least_

_i had it_

 

She titled the selection “Addiction” and her words sat heavily in the back of his mind.

Erik blew out an annoyed breath as uncomfortable, rage-inducing thoughts swarmed around in his head. Someone had hurt her both psychologically and physically; he had seen the scars of one and feared what he’d do if there was evidence of the other.  

“What happened to you, babygirl?” he asked aloud, picking up the flank steak and laying it on his cutting board as he eyed the sticky note he had sitting on the side of his fridge. It’s a list of recipes he had set out to teach Aurora he’d made before he’d even kissed her. The mention of that moment had him reliving it in high definition details; her heavy lidded eyes, the way she’d whispered his name when he got close, the shock of her making the first move, the needy sound she’d made in the back of her throat. His dick twitched in his sweats.

“Fuck,” he hissed, palming himself trying to calm his body - his quickly changing emotions pissing him off further. He rolled his eyes at himself for getting hard for a girl who still hadn’t answered his text.

He began seasoning both sides of the steak with salt, pepper, garlic and onion powder and a small amount of red pepper flakes, forcing himself to focus on the words of the song to hopefully stop the path he was going down internally.

_And so she said/Why you gotta be so mean to me?/Why you don't know what you mean to me?/Why you always playing games?/Why I feel like you ashamed?/Out in public, curse me out and make a scenery_

Erik nearly growled at the images the lyrics conjured up, slamming in his hand down and marching over to where his phone was charging, intent on deleting the fucking song completely when a text message popped up from _Sleeping Beauty._

_Hey E, sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I decided to visit my mom out in Arizona and the service around here is splotchy as hell. I’m doing well, thanks for checking in. I’ll be here for a little bit longer but I’ll hit you up when I get home. Talk soon!_

He reread the message a few times, thumbs hovering over the screen wanting to respond. She was visiting her mom? That seemed…..sudden as fuck. Doubt clouded his brain but he wanted to believe her. His thumbs tapped over the keys; typing and deleting multiple messages before her chose something quick, not wanting to scare her further with his emotions.

_Hey Princess. I understand. See you soon._

He could feel the muscles tightening in his face as anger over her sudden departure sunk in.

“I should have fucking said something to her,” he fumed, walking over and snatching his mixture up aggressively. He layered the steak with the warm filing, baby spinach and provolone cheese before rolling it tightly and securing it together with toothpicks. By the time he’d seared all the sides and stuck it in the oven he was livid with himself and how he’d handled the situation.

He trudged over to the couch, throwing himself down dramatically and began to take deep breaths, head leaned back with his eyes trained on the ceiling.

__You need to find your outlet, N’Jadaka -_ the words of his therapist, Rashidi, called out to him - _All this pent up energy needs to go somewhere. You cannot keep it locked away within you or you never move on._ _

“I know, utatomkhulu (grandfather),” he resigned and looked over at his gbedu drum. It had been a while since he’d had the urge or a reason to play and he knew all this anger he had would be best channeled that way.

He went over and sat next to the well made drum, his mind clearing as he ran a hand over the hide top; Zoya’s gap toothed smiled flashed in his mind quickly and he grinned thinking of his drumming instructed. He needed to hit the runt up soon to find out how she was.

He pulled the instrument into his lap and took a deep breath before he began to play.

* * *

  **Day 16**

“We are going to have to push the construction completion date back by at least a month,” Desia Haynes, the WORC’s Lead Project Engineer disclosed to the council at their weekly operations meeting. Members of the EHS, Facilities, and engineering departments and most of the executive team we're gathered around the long conference room on the nineteenth floor of the building with T'Challa shimmering from looking over them all. “The March For Our Lives foundation is still hosting a slew of protests for gun control advocacy. There are shutdowns on all major streets leading to the site at least twice a week. With no way to import supplies the work is being completed much slower than we originally anticipated.”

“Have the supplies delivered overnight,” T’Challa’s hologram answered form the head of the table.

Desia sighed, shaking her head, her glasses slipped down her nose slightly before she righted them. “These are unionized workers, any overtime is prohibited.”

“Contract another team to complete whatever work has been halted to bring the project back to its original date,” Erik addressed the table, astutely ignoring the longing stare he could feel emanating from the other side of the conference table.

“That’s going to be a rather large bill,” Desia said turning to Erik, lips pressed together. He could see the number churning in her mind through her hazel eyes.

“We’re good for it,” He nodded back.

“At this point, our priority is to have the center opened as quickly as possible in order to aid the protesters,” T’Challa agreed. “And yes, we are good for it.” The table laughed and the king turned his attention to the Project Coordinator. “Ms. Love, do you have an update on the Flint proposal?”

Erik looked over to find the young woman still staring at him with barely concealed lust. He tipped his head over to where T’Challa was waiting, disapproval written in the line of his jaw. Since joining their team no more than three months ago, Kaleda Love had had her eyes on him constantly. Her interest in him spread quickly through word of mouth - mostly  _her_ mouth - and rumors of their non-existent love affair buzzed around more quickly than he could keep up. Erik had originally thought that if he had ignored her Kaleda's interest in him would simply fizzle out. He was wrong. She just wanted him  _more._

“Oh! Uh,” Ms. Love stuttered out, nervous hands scattering the neatly stacked papers in front of her everywhere.

Desia sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose from her spot next to Erik and he discreetly shook his head warning her. He didn’t want to call unnecessary attention to her.

“Th-the architect sent over his notes for review a few hours ago,” Kaleda uttered, glancing up at Erik again before continuing. “The lot is good with minimal concerns, your highness.”

“Ms. Love, please address me as Mr. Udaku,” T’Challa reprimanded causing Desia stuck her fist in her mouth to keep from laughing.  

“Sorry, sir,” Kaleda whispered.

“Any more updates?” T’Challa nearly barked bringing out Erik’s carefully hidden smirk; he lived for when his cousin’s cool and cordial demeanor cracked. Then they could see who the nigga really was.  

“No, sir,” Kaleda responded, hiding her face under the guise of fixing her papers.

“Good, this meeting is adjourned,” T’Challa announced, hologram disappearing with a shimmer.

Erik gathered his things and made his way back to his office, still ignoring the lewd way Ms. Love pointed in his direction; he could damn near feel her eyes raking over his form. It wasn’t a welcomed sensation. He took the back elevator up seven floors to his office in the southwest corner of the building, slipping through his door stealthily glad for the minimal foot traffic through his section. He sat in his chair, sighing and rubbing his temples before looking up to the Tupac poster that hung proudly over his bookcase. At least the project was back on track, now he just need to talk to the CFO Andre about the budget...and maybe _finally_ address Kaleda’s behavior.

There was a knock on his door and Erik called out that it was opened, expecting to see Andre.  

“What up, Des?” He smiled when the project leader entered instead, closing his door behind her. Desia was easily his favorite person at HQ. They had similar views on life and he appreciated her realness and ability to sniff out bullshit from a mile away.

“Was Kaleda fareal in that meeting?” Desia asked, getting straight to the point.

Erik stretched back casually in his chair, his eyes glancing at Ari’s book poking out of his messenger bag. He wondered if he should tell Desia about his new find. “Shit, I don’t know. Maybe she’s after T’Challa too? I know I ain’t do shit for this girl to think I want her.” After their initial run in with one another on Kaleda's first day when Erik had kindly offered her directions to her department, he could count on his fingers how many words he's said to her. He knew all too well what the look in her eyes that day had meant and he had no intention of furthering  _any_ of those thoughts. 

“Hmm,” she eyed him skeptically for a second. “If I didn’t know you I would start believing the rumors she’s spreading around here.”

“Ugh,” he groaned, pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes, already regretting his next question. “Do I even _want_ to fucking know this time?”

“This week’s tale is that y’all fucked in the supply closet in the storage wing.”

Erik sat forward in his seat his face full of disbelief and annoyance. “This week?” he growled. “It’s fucking Tuesday.”

“Exactly,” Desia responded, pulling out her cell phone from where it had dinged softly in her back pocket. “You need to do something about her. I know you say you don’t care about what she’s saying and you won’t let _me_ approach her, but this shit is getting out of hand.”

“Nah, don’t get involved,” he shook his head. Desia had a promotion coming up and he didn’t need anyone second guessing her work ethic. “I’ll talk to Tiwa about it tomorrow.” Erik made a mental note to shoot the Director of HR a quick email after his next meeting.

Her phone pinged again and she looked back down at it. “Imma hold you to that,” she threatened, as she scowled at the iPhone, nails clacking against the screen at an almost feverish pace.

“What Shad do this time?” Erik questioned with a smirk, knowing she was talking to her husband without having to ask. She made the same face anytime he annoyed her.

Desia rolled her eyes but kept typing. “He being needy as hell right now. But watch, as soon as I get home, his ass gone be playing 2k and ignore me like usual.”

He chuckled, “Give the guy a break. He need some way to blow off steam after dealing with ya tough ass.”

“Whatever,” she exclaimed and glanced over at his desk. “Did you get my report?”

“Let me check,” Erik said, refreshing his email inbox and seeing nothing new. He double and triple checked. “Nah, when did you send it?” His alert sound pinged and he looked up at her, unamused.

“Just now,” Des faux leered at him.

“You a real fucking ass, Des.” He shook his head, opening the report and scanning it quickly. It was efficient and straight to the point as usual. He was about to question one of the line items on the inventory list for the upcoming Flint project when there was a knock at his door. “That’s probably Andre,” he warned Desia so she would put her phone away. “Come in!”

“Hey, Erik,” Kaleda popped her head in before entering fully, an unnecessary roll in her hips. Desia rolled her eyes and went back to composing her email to the her assistant. “Did you leave this Sprite on my desk?”

He had to stop himself from pulling a face. Kaleda’s desk was twelve floors down and on the opposite corner of the building. Why the fuck would he walk down there to give her something to drink?. “No. Why woul-”

“Nah sis, that was me,” Desia piped up, her eyes never leaving her phone. “Figured you were still parched after our last meeting.”

Erik bit his lip so hard he tasted blood.

“Oh,” Kaleda said dumbly looking down at the drink skeptically, second guessing drinking it now. “Thank, I guess.”

“Mmhm, don’t mention it girl.”

“So Erik,” Kaleda continued, walking over and propping her hip against the desk, her finger lightly skimming his journal in a way he knew she meant to be enticing but looked awkward and suspicious as hell. “You have any plans for the week?”

He looked at this girl like she had three heads. She was really doing this shit here? _With_ an audience? Girls were so **bold.**

“He’s working this week sis, we all are.” Desia interjected again just as he was opening his mouth to answer, looking up with an annoyed smile on her face. “That’s the move every Monday through Friday…. _work.”_

Erik steeled his features as he watched the exchange. The emphasis at the end of Desia’s sentence almost did him in. He secretly wanted to see how far this would go before he had to stop them.

“Oh, but there will be a function down by the water cooler later,” she continued. “We know you’re always there.”

“Mrs. Haynes...” Erik called, clearing his throat, but it only made the project leader’s smile that much sharper. He knew he needed to shut this shit down but he was trying to hard not to laugh, his voice stuck in his throat.

“You probably coordinated the event yourself.”

“Desia!” Erik barked, his laughter almost leaking out at the end before he turned back to Kaleda. “Ms. Love,” he started, laying on his manager voice thickly. “I believe it would be in everyone’s _best_ interest if we focused on getting this center opened and operational before any talk of _outside_ activities can be made.”

Kaleda leered at Desia for a moment more before she looked back over at Erik, his words giving her some small hope. Erik wished he had flat out told this girl “no” instead. “Yeah, but maybe we could do something after?”

“There’s the end of the quarter celebration. You could see him _there_ ,” Desia supplied, batting her eyelashes sweetly. “ _If_ you’re still with us of course.”

Erik clenched his jaw again, he didn’t have time for this, he was still expecting the CFO to stop by. “We’ll talk about this later, aight?” He asked Kaleda before flashing the girl a panty wetting smile.

She almost visibly melted before she threw another heated look his way. “See you later, E,” she purred, winking at him from over her shoulder before closing the door.

Erik and Desia looked at each other for a beat and then immediately bust out laughing, not caring if the girl heard them through the door or not.

“Yo, you believe this shit?” Erik asked, wiping tears from the corner of his eye. “Why would she think it was _me_ who walked to her desk, _twelve floors down_ , to give her a fucking soda?”

Desia lifted eyebrow in his direction still slightly giggling, “Now, you _know_ the answer to that shit, kid. You melted that bitch brain just now by the way. Good job defusing the situation. Now she definitely needs to be set straight.”

“Des…” Erik began. He loved that she had his back like this but he didn’t want HR to call her should Kaleda open a case.

She kissed her teeth. “She aint gone say shit,” Desia argued. “If anything she gone embellish the hell outta this. She gone say she asked you out, you said yes, and I was salty. I aint worried about her gold digging, hoe ass.”

Erik shook his head slowly, his cheeks hurting from smiling so much. “You really aint got no filter.”

“And?” Desia challenged, hands on her hips. “Ok let me get out of here, I know you’re waiting for Andre to come down. But if you really _do_ need some help with the gold digger…”

He snorted. “Goodbye Mrs. Haynes,” he sang.

“Get down girl, go head get down,” she rapped as she Diddy-bopped her way out the door.

He chuckled at her antics, looking down at his keyboard. He really _did_ need to do something about that girl but was it worth it? She probably wouldn’t make it past the opening ceremony next month.

Erik drummed his fingers on the table, hand itching to reach for Aurora’s book. He was on his third reading of it and it left him with more questions than answers. And an almost explosive anger for her ex. He had searched her Facebook page for him last night but his girl had scrubbed him very effectively from her existence. Even her friend’s friends didn’t have any tagged photos of them. Whatever this nigga did, it was bad and Erik intended to find the details soon.

Andre entering his office without asking pulled him from his dark thoughts but the emotions must’ve been clear on his face. The older man stopped dead in his tracks, body already turning to leave.

“If it’s a bad time I can come back later,” he offered.

Erik forced a friendly expression on his face. “Nah you gucci, I was just reading an email.” He quickly opened Kaleda’s faulty report she’d sent a few minutes after she’d left. “Yo, how well do you know Tiwa down in HR?”

* * *

**Day 22**

Erik needed a shower, he could feel the sweat dripping down his torso and his shirt was sticking uncomfortably between him and the leather seat of his car. Today’s session with Rashad had been intense but extremely necessary. He had so much pent up frustration these past few days and his drums weren’t helping him. Every piece he played had become so excessively angry and aggressive that one of his downstairs neighbors had banged on their ceiling to get him to stop.  It took everything in him not to go down and drag their asses out their apartment by their hair.

The light turned and Erik bent the corner that lead to his building, wiping sweat from his brow to catch the drops before they reached his eyes, when he noticed a familiar Dodge Dart parked in the lot. His heartbeat quickened and he pulled into the driveway too quickly; nearly hitting an oncoming car and parking crookedly next to it. He ran into the building, bypassing the elevator and using the steps, taking them two and three at a time.

Erik was outside her door, panting hard and sweating harder, his hand poised to knock before he stopped himself. This...wasn’t a good idea. He wanted nothing more than to fucking scoop her into his arms, press his face to her neck and just fucking _breathe her in,_ but he had to be smart about this. Those reflexes were part of the reason they weren’t speaking to each other. She wasn’t ready for his desire so he needed to back down.

He shook his head, sweat droplets spraying from his dreads and thought even more clearly. Her car wasn’t here when he left for the gym a little over two hours ago which meant she had just gotten home from being away for almost a month and probably needed time to regroup and settle in.

Erik ran a frustrated hand down his damp face and swallowed hard. He could give her time. He could wait a few more hours.

He forced himself to turn on his heels and head for his door. Tomorrow, he’d talk to her tomorrow.

* * *

**Day 23**

Erik stepped out his overheated bathroom, running the microfiber cloth over his damp hair. He’d just used the last of the conditioner that Aurora had made for him and was trying to recall the ingredients she had rambled off.

Neem oil, glycerin, aloe vera?

_Or you could just fucking ask her_ he thought to himself bitterly.

He had spent most of the previous night sitting on his couch  rereading _Hunger_ but Aurora’s poem kept repeating like a mantra in his mind. The last piece in her book left him feeling unsure of her emotional state.

_i abandoned my words_

_because you did not like_

_the sound of them._

_To you they were_

_a profane prayer_

_for which i wailed on_

_bloodied bended knees_

_to be answered._

 

_So i buried them deep_

_but this book_

_of ache and longing_

_collapsed from its spine_

_and found you and me_

_hiding underneath_

_the weight of the words._

 

_It’s time to set_

_these pages on fire_

_and i don't give a damn_

_how you feel about it._

He’d tossed the _Hunger_ to the side, realizing that he had been on the same paragraph for the last ten minutes, and gone to his room to try and sleep. His plan to catch Ari if she was leaving her apartment that night seemed like a failure.

Erik tossed restlessly in his bed until somewhere around four am when sleep seemed to literally consume him.

He dreamt he was in Aurora’s apartment that night, but the place looked like chaos; the furniture was turned over, holes - roughly the size of his fists - were poked in all the walls and the curtains were torn with a dark substance on the ends of the drapery making his stomach churn uneasily. The broken glass under his boots that led to her bedroom were sprinkled on the floor like breadcrumbs used to find your way home. He followed the trail, the sound of soft wails getting louder as he moved further in. He paused in the doorway, his heart plummeting to his feet. There, sitting in the middle of her disheveled and broken bed, was a small princess with tear streaked chubby cheek, her eyes cast down to the broken crown sitting haphazardly in her lap. Her white gown coated in sticky black blood.

He’d sprung awake, feeling nauseous and murderous; his nails biting into his palms painfully from where they were clenched in his sheets.

He did _not_ go back to sleep.

Erik shook out his hair in the mirror, focusing on his locs instead of the haunting images behind his eyes. It had grown over the last few weeks and he knew he was overdue for a haircut and retwist. He picked up his phone and typed a quick message to his hair stylist asking if she was free before walking over to his closet and getting dressed, her response on his notification screen when he finished.

_Always free 4 u lol. Can u come thru now?_

He rubbed his lips together, he honestly wanted to go over and knock on Aurora’s door and _talk_ about everything, fix whatever this shit was. He could handle not having her - _that’s a fucking lie,_ his mind growled - but he couldn’t handle not being her friend. But he also knew everything had to be on her terms. The ball was in her court, he wouldn’t force her out of hiding.

He sent an affirmative message to his stylist and was lacing up his _New Balances_ when he got call from Shuri.

“What up, Nutmeg?” he said, walking over to his dresser looking for his _Ray Ban’s._

“You busy tonight?” Shuri asked, papers rustling in the background. Did the girl ever stop working?

Erik looked at the time, it was 2:56PM, he had no plans for the day except for maybe accidentally on purpose running into his neighbor?

_The ball is in her court, Stevens._

“Nah, why you in the states?”

“Nope, but I _did_ set you up on a date with someone.”

Erik paused in his hallway, almost dropping the car keys he had been spinning around his finger.

“You wanna run that shit by me again, cuz?” He didn’t even attempted to keep the malice out of his voice. He didn’t feel like dealing with this shit tonight.

“Miah is in town and you know how she feels about you,” Shuri hedged. “She said either I call you or she was going to just pop over there. You and I both know how she is when she’s determined.”

Miah was one of Shuri’s assistants, a curvy sassy thing that he may have had fucked a couple times. He had strictly told her it was only for fun, he was healing and didn’t have time for anything serious,  but the girl had gotten it her mind that he liked a challenge. She was _part_ of the reason he’d moved back to the states. She’d show up anywhere he was, doing whatever she thought it would take to get him. He couldn’t get away from here then. It seems like not much has changed. Shuri often times tried to run interference but it only made things worse.

This was a prime fucking example.

“So you what, set up a fucking date?” Erik snapped, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I figured that would be the better option?” Shuri at least had the decency to sound fucking apologetic. 

Erik couldn’t keep the anger out of his voice as he stepped into the hallway. “Ndakuxelela ukuba ungaphumi kule nto (I told you to stay out of this),” he seethed, pushing the phone between his ear and shoulder so he could lock his door. Xhosa was a better option in case his girl was home, he didn’t need her to hear this bullshit.

“I know,” his cousin huffed in English. “But if I hadn’t done this she would have literally just showed up to your apartment. I was only trying to _help.”_

He walked over to the elevator. “Andifuni uncedo lwakho (I dont need your help),” he whispered harshly, slapping the down button with more force than was strictly necessary. He needed to reign his anger in.

“Really?” Shuri’s voice was almost as mocking as it was condescending and it set Erik on the _edge_. “Is that why you called me a few weeks ago begging me to help you do some illegal shit so you could stalk your girlfriend.”

Erik rolled his eyes so hard he almost lost his contact lens. He did need her help. Did he called her all the time for shit? Yes. But not with _this._ He could fucking handle Miah himself, even if that meant leaving her ass cold downstairs and pretending he wasn’t home.

He turned on his heels, ready to say just that when he spotted Aurora standing in the hallway looking uncertain and like she wanted to hide. He froze, Shuri’s voice a forgotten buzz in his ear. She was so fucking beautiful; chewing her lip anxiously and fidgeting from foot to foot. Her oversized Villanova alumni crewneck hung from her frame like she’d lost weight and her face had lines of strain that weren’t there a few weeks ago.

He held eye contact with her, afraid that if he looked away she’d disappear; that this was a continuation of the fucked up dream he had never truly woke up from. The door started to close and Erik’s hand shot out to catch it automatically when his cousin’s words began to become clearer.

“-going to send you the address for the restaurant. You’re supposed to meet her there at 7.”

“Umnxeba kwaye ukhansele! (call her and cancel),” he hissed into the phone before looking up at Ari and making a come hither gesture with his free hand. She began to walk forward, eyes widening and body moving almost robotically, as if she hadn’t meant to move. He watched her face for any clues to her mood but she just looked...apprehensive. He could handle that, at least she wasn’t upset. She got into the cab and pushed herself into the corner causing Erik to frown. Did she not want to be near him?

“Erik, no. Just meet her there, have a drink and reiterate that you two aren’t like that. If you run from her she’ll only follow.”

He fought the exasperation that threatened to leave his chest, he knew his cousin was right and that was the better option. But, now that his Princess was in front of him again, he really didn’t fucking want to.

Aurora looked up at him with big brown eyes and pointed to the ground floor button in a silent question. He nodded once, staring at her profile when she turned back, her bottom lip hung slightly forward and was inviting as hell. His eyes tracked over each of the freckles that littered the bridge of her nose, the urge to kiss each one softly swelled quickly in his chest. Fuck, he  _ missed  _ her. The doors closed and the smell of her soft floral perfumed filled the air. He was going to go insane standing this close to her and not being able to touch her. His palm itched. 

“Hello? N’Jadaka?” Shuri called out, interrupting his thoughts.

He did sigh then. He had to take care of this before he could fix things with Ari. “Le nto ayiyi kuyenza kwakhon (dont do this shit again),” Erik warned before ending the call and slipping the phone into his cargo pocket.

“Sorry if I interrupted you,” Aurora said softly after a second. He almost closed his eyes at the sound. Damn he’d missed her voice too.

He hesitated for a moment, carefully choosing his next words lest he blurt out what he was really thinking.  _ I missed you. I’m sorry. I need you _ . “Nah, you didn’t interrupt nothing.” She was still staring straight ahead, hands fidgeting at her sides. Now that she was closer he noticed she had dark smudges under her eyes and he cheeks looked a little sunken. Erik frowned deeply. Was home stressful? “How was your trip?” he tried with a conversational tone.

He watched her pull her lip between her teeth before she let it go quickly. “It was good,” she hesitated which was….odd. “Necessary.”

Erik hummed, his gut telling him she still wasn’t telling the truth. It annoyed him, was he not worth it? “Yeah, sometimes you need to go back home.” 

The elevator reached the first level and they both exited, Aurora walking slightly in front of him, her car key dangling in her fingers. A fissure of panic gripped him at the idea of her leaving for a long time again. He swallowed the emotion. “Where you headed?” 

They turned toward the parking lot and she unlocked her Dart. “I gotta go grocery shopping or I’ll be eating nutella and pickles for the rest of the week.”

Relief hit him hard and he laughed through his embarrassment. Of course she was allowed to leave, she had friends and a life. She’d also been gone so not having groceries  _ made sense.  _ “Yeah that sounds like a nasty ass combo,”  __ He sauntered over to his car, knowing she’d be there when he got back putting a little of his swag back in his step. He felt more like himself than he had the last twenty something days. “Good luck with that.” he joked, walking over to his car door, knowing that if he looked at her again he’d stay.

“Wanna come with me?”

Her words had him pausing, the acceptance of her offer sitting on the tip of his tongue. They would be able to talk about this, he’d be able to fix it. It was the opportunity he didn’t think he’d get; at least not this soon. But Shuri was right. If he didn’t meat Miah tonight she’d show up at his doorstep and he now knew he had to avoid that at all costs. He scowled, pulling his sunglasses onto his eyes so that Ari wouldn’t see truly how pissed he was. “Nah, I gotta go get a haircut and a car wash.” All of his annoyance bled into those words. Fuck he was angry with his cousin. With Miah and her inability to fucking understand the word  _ no. _

“Oh,” Aurora said, her head hanging slightly before she checked her actions and looked up at him with a forced smile. “Gotta date?”

She could be perceptive as fuck sometimes. His heart constricted but he knew if he lied to her now and she found out later this could be worse. 

“Yeah, I do.”

Her face fell, hurt flashing in her darkening eyes. He wanted to take the words back immediately. 

“Oh,” she repeated again, her voice shaking on the one syllable. This smile was worse than the last, a shaky and lopsided thing that had his heart constricting tightly. “Well, have fun!” She waved too enthusiastically and walked briskly to her car, back ramrod straight, coils swaying in the breeze. 

Erik clenched his jaw so hard he almost cracked his molar. “See you later, Aurora,” he called out as she got into her car, swinging the door closed roughly. 

He got into his own car, gripping the wheel tightly for a few seconds before turning the engine over and pulling out the lot. 

He was going to fucking fix this. And soon.

* * *

 

_ drop me a comment dolls. xo _


	10. Rekindle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hokay, so, heres de chapter (if you don’t know where that’s from you might be too damn young to read this fic). Hey guys! Welcome back to my channel!! Lololol. Ok ok I’m done. Here it is y’all! The ninth installment to this fic that I orignally planned to be only tweleve. Haha, I was sooo naive. You guys have been telling me that I’m too mean and to play nice for the last like three chapters and IVE BEEN LISTENING OK. I just had to wait for the right moment and apparently THIS is it lol. This chapter is mostly just fluff, UST and comedy with just a tiny sprinkling of much needed angst. I’m super proud of it though and seriously hope you all like it!
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Sloooooow Buuuurrnn, hella UST, copious use of the n word, Jade being an ass, graphic depictions of physical, emotional and psychological abuse (not too much tho, I went easy on you guys this time). FLUFF ALL THE FUCKING FLUFF.
> 
> Suggested Listening: Crush (Feat. Usher) - Yuna; Kama Sutra (Feat. Cardi B.) - Juicy J 
> 
> Enjoy Dolls, xo.

**Rekindle**

****

(poem by Rupi Kaur from  _Milk & Honey)_

Aurora opened the door to her apartment and promptly fell to the floor in a groaning heap of pain and exhaustion. Everything _hurt_ . She wanted to take a hot shower, eat some ramen, crawl into bed and just _die_ for the night.

She had completed her first krav maga class. How successful it was? She wasn’t sure.

Aurora had thought the first session would be some sort of introductory lesson for newbies like herself. Instead it had been, what she assumed was, a normal day. And sometimes a normal day consisted of kicking. Lots and _lots_ of kicking. Many repetitions of kicking with kicking trainers that stopped her _mid-kick_ only to adjust her stance, critique her execution and ask her to kick _some more._

“Ooooow.” Her groan was muffled due to the majority of her face being smushed into the hardwood floor. Part of her wished she had face planted into her bed but she had known damn  well that her shaky thighs were _not_ going to allow her the journey.

_Damn you, Brandee!_ Ari shouted in her mind. She wanted _so badly_ to be upset with her therapist for even suggesting self-defense courses. But the silly thumbs up emoji she had received after sending the doctor a sweaty gym picture had given her such a rushing feeling of accomplishment that she couldn’t find it in her to be mad. If anything, she felt proud of herself. An emotion that had seemed to elude her for the last month and a half. It felt _good. She_ felt good. Even while laying down face first on the floor in her foyer sore as all fuck, she was really happy.

“Ok, bitch,” Aurora mumbled to herself, rocking her body in an attempt to turn over on her back. “You need to get the fuck up. Even though it feels like someone shoved your body into a meat grinder, this floor is still dirty as shit no matter how many times you clean it. Now turn over!.” She took a deep breath and rolled over to her back with only a _minimal_ amount of complaining.

“Whew!” Aurora whooped, throwing her fist slightly in the air, wincing when it stretched the used muscles there. “I did it. I’d pat you on the back girl, but I don’t think I can reach.” She laughed at her own ridiculous and childlike behavior.

She was contemplating if crawling to the kitchen for water was a better option than trying to get full use of her legs when there was a knock on the door.

Aurora picked her head up and looked at her entryway through the curls that had managed to escape her top knot. Who could that be? She had just seen Jade and Kailoni right before going to the gym so it couldn’t be either of them.

She pushed herself up to a sitting position, forcing herself to breathe through the burn.

“Who is it?” Ari called out. She knew it was rude but she absolutely _refused_ to move if it was just her neighbor Janice trying to “borrow a cup of salt” again. Stupid nosy hag couldn’t even get the saying correct.

“Room service,” a familiar deep baritone answered back.

Aurora’s body jolted at the sound and she ignored her legs cry in protest as she quickly got to her feet and limped over to the door, peeking through the peephole.

She gasped softly. It really was Erik, standing in the hall with a smirk pulled across his plump lips. She stared at him in surprise for a few moments, hardly believing he was even there.

“You gonna open the door, Princess? Or you just gonna lean against, breathing all hard?” he jested, leaning toward the barrier between them, his brown eye coming towards the peephole.

Aurora jerked back, an irrational thought that he was actually coming closer to her face had her heart quickening. She laid a hand on the overactive organ as she feebly attempted to calm her now erratic breaths.

_Calm the fuck down girl!_

“I didn’t order room service though,” she joked lightly in order to buy some time; turning towards the full length mirror to figure out just how crazy her hair was and to adjust her marble print leggings and matching sports bra. She sent a silent thanks to Tosha for sending it to her a few days ago. _How_ her friend knew she had started a new gym she would probably never know.

_Fucking spies,_ she grumbled.

“Then I should take this chicken alfredo back to the kitchen?” Erik questioned. Ari’s stomach immediately growled in protest. She fucking _loved_ chicken alfredo. “I guess I got the wron-”

Aurora threw the door open, “No no! Wait, you got the right room!”

Erik smirked at her his eyes traveled across her body slowly, appreciation shining in his cognac stare. He whistled lowly before his tongue swept across his bottom lip; Aurora’s eyes tracking its movement unconsciously. “You modeling for instagram or something, girl?”

She lifted her brow, trying to give the illusion that his appreciation of her form didn’t have her getting warm all over. “I went to the gym. Get in here, delivery boy.”

“Yes ma’am,” he breathed as she backed up, giving his wide frame space to enter her apartment. Aurora’s eyes were trained on his shoulders in the tight, cream colored Under Armor shirt he was sporting; the muscles bunching and rolling made his scars look like they were dancing and Ari wanted to kiss each one.. Her eyes fluttered slightly as his warm scent, slightly masked by the equally as mouth watering fragrance of the cream based sauce, wafted over to her. Her stomach gurgled again. Loudly.

Erik laughed lightly from his spot at her island, setting down the green ceramic bowl. “You gonna come get some of this or what?”

Aurora scowled at him, padding over to where he was and pulling two square bowls from the cabinet next to him while he retrieved a serving spoon from her jar of utensils next to her stove. He still seemed comfortable in her space and that made her ridiculously happy. She handed him her bowl, biting her lip as she watched him scoop out a very healthy sized portion of the pasta. Her mind was quickly entering overdrive.

Aurora knew _what_ she had to say but no clue _how_ to go about saying it. She was also afraid of how he would react. Would he push her away? He was _here_ so that was improbable. But would he call her out? Ask her to elaborate? She couldn’t do that...even though she wanted to.

“Ari?” Erik called and her eyes lifted up to his. He jiggled the bowl he was holding to call her attention to it. How long had she been stuck in her thoughts?

“Oh,” she breathed. “Thanks.”

She reached for the bowl, their fingers sliding briefly during the exchange. The brief touch of skin had her heart fluttering again and heat rising to her cheeks.

She stared down at the steaming food focusing back on what she wanted to say. The words felt as if they were stuck to the roof of her mouth like peanut butter. She rolled her tongue against her teeth.  

“You ok?” Erik questioned.

Ari looked up into his intense gaze. She could see emotions moving between them that were almost a frenzied as her own.

“I’m sorry!” she damn near shouted suddenly trying to speak over the whisperings in her mind that were desperately trying to convince her that this wasn’t a good idea. That she was going to push him away further if she breached the topic. But she had to apologize, she owed him at least that.

Erik looked down at her with the fork he was handing her suspended in the air between them, confusion contorting his features. He raised his brow, waiting for her to continue.

Aurora took the fork, sticking it into her pasta, and sat the bowl down before turning to him.

“I’m sorry I was...so weird when we,” she swallowed hard, allowing herself to briefly remember the night at his apartment. She ignored her tingling lips and tried to press on. “When you….uhh...the kitchen.” She was failing spectacularly at this, but to his credit Erik’s face never lost an ounce of its intensity.

He nodded in understanding. “The night after we kissed,” he stated evenly and Aurora envied his calmness.

“Yeah,” she said, spluttering on. “I said some things and...I didn’t mean them. I was…” She paused then, the words sticking to her throat again as fear clouded her thought process at the prospect of telling him just _what_ had transpired that night.

“You were regurgitating what someone else told you?” Erik supplied, his eyes hardening quickly before they cooled off.  

Aurora gazed up at him, eyes darting between his own; his reactions and perception always shocked her. Was she really _this_ transparent?

“Yeah,” she answered after a beat. “It wasn’t towards you. So I’m just..really sorry.”

He bobbed his head in acceptance before picking up his own bowl. “I thought it was me.”

Ari cocked her head to the side in attempt to hear him better. He couldn’t have meant that. “Huh?”

He huffed a small laugh at her expression before is melted off of his lips. “You left for almost a month after that. I thought I did something. That I scared you.”

Aurora’s eyes bulge for a second. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” she says quickly, voice full of conviction. “It was me.”

“Nah,” he said gently. “It wasn’t you.” He looked back at her, his expression more understanding than it should be given her awful attempt at explaining. “You wanna talk about it?”

She immediately shook her head, cowardice winning as usual. “I’m..not ready yet.”

“Ok.” he allowed. “You’ll talk to me when you are?” Her nod caused him to smirk at the nonverbal gesture. “Words, babygirl.”

The sensual heat from those two words dripped across Aurora’s body like candle wax. Her eyes widened, the command stirring feelings in her. “Yeah, I’ll talk to you,” she answered swiftly.

“Aight.” He walked away from her then, grabbing two bottles of water out of her refrigerator before rounding the island and taking a seat on one of the barstools. “The food really aint that good cold, Ari.”

She blinked at him a few times before grabbing her bowl and going to join him, wincing when she climbed onto the seat.

“You really went to the gym, huh?”

She rolled her eyes at him before picking up her fork. “You calling me a liar, Stevens?” she drawled, taking her bite and moaning loudly. This shit was _good._ “Teach me!” she begged while looking up at him with literal stars in her eyes.

Erik gwaffed and shook his head at her. “Yeah I can do that, ma. Your ass is gonna need to eat something more than ramen.”

Aurora glared at him. “I _do,”_ she contended but Erik only rolled his eyes.

“Uh huh, that’s why there’s only pudding cups, bougee water and celery sticks in ya fridge, right?”

She stared at him, mouth open in disbelief. “You had the door open for like _five seconds_!”

“Long enough for me to know wasn’t shit in it, Princess.” Aurora made a sound of indignation that had his dimples popping out to play. “I’m just saying Ari, if you’re going to start going to the gym, you gone need to eat right.”

“You mean like meal prepping?” she asked around a mouthful of delicious.

“We could do that if you wanted,” Erik said, uncapping her bottle of water and sliding it over to her.

Aurora thanked him before taking a large swig of the cool liquid, she had forgotten how thirsty she was. “I wouldn’t even know where to start with that shit though.”

Erik chewed his food thoughtfully. “I can send you some recipes to get you started. Basic clean meals that’ll keep you full.”

“You really have confidence in me enough to let me make my own meals?” Ari asked skeptically.

He looked at her like she was speaking a foreign language. “Fuck no! I didn’t forget the toast incident.”

She dropped her fork into her empty bowl and placed her hands on her hips. “Popcorn you ass!” she yelled at him, ignoring the butterflies that sprang into her stomach at his deep, rumbling chuckle. “ _And_ I’ll have you know I’ve made a few meals by myself recently, all of which have been delicious and very not burnt!”

Erik turned to her, “...You been watching Buzzfeed videos haven’t you?”

“YOU ASS!” she punched him in the arm but ended up being the one to wince. He turned to her grabbing her wrist softly. Her blush felt like it was spreading across her skin in attempt to meet his fingers but she didn’t move. “How did you know?”

“Everyone has to start somewhere,” he told her while still inspecting her hand. “They have decent, easy to follow recipes. Does your hand hurt or are you sore?” His finger trailing gently across her knuckles had Ari breathing a little harder.

“Everything is sore honestly,” she breathed, her eyes following the movement of his big hands before meeting his eyes.

“You need to take a hot shower and stretch before you go to bed, Princess.”

She started to nod again before she remembered his earlier request. _Words, babygirl._ “Okay.”

He flashed his gold canines before getting up to collect their bowls, Ari following and throwing the water bottles into her recycling container.

“You want to take the rest of this back to your apartment?” Aurora questioned about the leftover pasta next to her with her hands out waiting to dry the bowl he was washing.

“Nah you can eat it for lunch and I’ll come get the bowl tomorrow.”

_Tomorrow._ She smiled gently and took the bowl he was handing her, drying it absentmindedly. “Oh yeah? Planning on coming back, shorty?”

He snorted. “I want the building to still be standing when I get back, so, yeah. Imma help you cook.”

She rolled her eyes but said nothing about the jab. They washed and dried the rest of the dishes together, exchanging email addresses after they were done when Erik explained that he’d send her the list of ingredients to pick up.

“You should pick up some protein, BCAAs and a shaker cup too. Your muscles are going to need them to rebuild.” He chuckled at her bewildered expression. “I’ll send those to you, too.”

Aurora scrunched up her face in thought. “I think there’s a GNC around here somewhere”

“Nah, go to a Vitamin Shoppe,” Erik suggested, walking towards the door. “Most GNCs are private owned and they hike up the prices.”

“Oh,” Ari said gratefully as she trailed behind him. Knowing her easily swayed ass she would’ve bought anything they tried to sell her.

Erik stopped at the door, turning to face her. “Aight, get ya short ass in the shower. And don’t forget to stretch. You gonna be worse tomorrow if you don’t.”

She put her hands in the air. “Okay okay, I’ll stretch.” She bit her lip for a moment in contemplation before thinking _fuck it._ “Can I have a hug?”

Erik immediately opened his arms. She wrapped her arms around his middle and pushed her face into his sternum. She breathed in his spicy scent deeply, holding it in her lungs before letting it out slowly. He felt so good and warm and safe.

He pulled her closer to him, tucking her into his arms as he bowed his body down and pushed his face in her top knot. “I missed you, girl.”

Aurora squeezed him harder, swallowing the sudden emotions that rose in her throat at his mumbled words. “Missed you too, E.”

They stayed like that for a few moments, neither one making any moves to let the other go; Ari wanted to stay there all night. She wanted ask him to come back to her room and just _stay._ To get to know his body in the most biblical way possible. She stiffened at the sudden turn of her thoughts and Erik slowly let her go, taking a step back and placed a finger under her chin to get look at her eyes, concern written in his own.

“You okay, ma?”

She sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth and nodded. She refused to speak lest she said what she was imagining. She had asked to be _friends_ and she refused to give him mixed signals.

His eyes dropped down to her lip, thumb coming up to gently pry it from her teeth as he licked his own. Aurora was almost dizzy with the way her blood was rushing around her.

His gaze dropped a little lower, to where the chain of her necklace winked lowly in the light of her foyer, before he looked back up into her eyes. “Okay,” he whispered before letting her go, shoving his hands into the pocket of his basketball shorts. “Get some sleep.”

“Will do,” Ari said. “Goodnight Erik.”

His smile was really gentle, eyes bright. “Goodnight Princess.”

Aurora wanted to skip back to her room with how happy she was but decided that wasn’t a good idea after the first wobbly gallop forward. She took an almost scalding shower, letting the hot water beat across her sore body and loosen the tight muscles as she reflected on her dinner with her favorite neighbor. Ari was glad he had come over. She had stopped outside his door multiple times over the last two days but hadn’t had it in her to knock.

The water soon began to turn cold and she got out, wrapping her body in her favorite fuzzy towel when exhaustion descended on her like a shadow. She padded out of her bathroom heading directly for her bed and was asleep as soon she hit the sheets.

* * *

 The first thing Aurora noticed when she woke up the next day was the stiffness in her body.

She had rolled over, the cheery morning sun blinded her momentarily when she cracked an eye open, and went to stretch big and satisfyingly. And got a Charley horse in her left calf.

“FUCK!” she screamed out, whimpering as her hand shot down toward the cramp, getting tangled in the sheets. She gritted her teeth with tears in her eyes as she frantically fought her way through them, finally getting to the pulsating spot. She rubbed the bunched up muscle roughly for what felt like close to an eternity before the knot finally loosened.

Aurora laid in the bed naked and angry with herself for a while after. She’d forgotten to stretch like Erik had told her, the dull ache shooting down into her toes was a testament to that. He had been right, her whole body felt worse than yesterday and she moaned pitifully as rolled onto her back. The tightness in her legs was unrelenting as she swung them over the bed, a chorus of colorful words pushing past her dry lips.

Aurora limped her way to the bathroom, brushing and flossing her teeth as furiously as her sore arms would allow her. She splashed water on her face afterward and looked at herself in the mirror, studying her features with scrutiny. Pain in her body aside, she actually felt refreshed and better than she had in weeks. The dark circles under her eyes were a little brighter than they were before and that’s when it hit her. She had slept peacefully through the night without having a nightmare. That was as pleasing as it was alarming. Was this normal? Did this mean her progress was stalling? For as much as she _hated_ the dreams, she knew they were a byproduct of the process. She didn’t want to hinder that, especially after she apologized to Erik last night. They could finally go back to the way things were - hopefully - and she didn’t want to subtract from that.

Her stomach growled angrily at her as she pulled her yellow Tommy Hilfiger crewneck on as she made her way to the kitchen. At least her appetite had returned full force, she was tired of her clothes fitting loosely. Ari grabbed the box of Honeycombs from her pantry and one of the biggest bowls in her cabinet, pouring the sugary breakfast food into it until it was almost brimming when she promptly remembered she didn’t have any milk. She groaned pitifully before dumping the contents back in the box and shoving it into a random cabinet.

“What the hell now?” Aurora asked irritably, shaking her head in annoyance. She didn’t want to reheat the pasta from last night. The food was much too heavy for this time of day.

Her eyes fell on the bread box sitting on her counter and she pulled it over to her, praying the contents weren’t past their expiry date.

“Oh, thank god!” she exclaimed when it showed that she still had a few days left of freshness. She pulled out a slice and popped it into her toaster before walking gingerly back into her room to retrieve her phone from it’s charger. There were a few messages in her work group chat she shared with Jade and Kamia; an idea of her own that quickly seemed to be backfiring as the two seemed to do more bickering than actually talking about about work. Jade had gotten back the samples, quotes and time frames back from the artists they had contacted about her cover art. The artist she had originally presented was the most reasonable and impressive candidate.

Aurora would have been proud had it not been for the response from Jade that followed Kamia impressed faced emoji.

_Try that for execution, sweetheart._

Aurora rolled her eyes before putting them on Do Not Disturb and closing the chat. She would answer them on Monday.

The toaster popped and Aurora pulled out her perfectly golden slice of bread. This was going to taste like steak she was so hungry.

She was pulling her strawberry jelly out of the cabinet when a plan started to formulate. A large, sly smirk spread across her face as she sat the jar down. She snapped a quick picture of her toast and sent it off to her smart assed neighbor.

She giggled to herself before she grabbed a butter knife and layered the spread on thick and hefty.

Aurora barked a loud laugh at his response causing breadcrumbs to spray from her lips. She pressed her sticky fingers to mouth in embarrassment until she remembered he couldn’t see her..

“I can’t stand his ass,” she lied before licking the jelly off her fingers and wiping them on a napkin. She searched her gallery for her favorite unimpressed gif.

Aurora grinned around her last bite of toast as the the three dots signifying he was typing  appeared immediately.

  


Ari swept up her crubs and wiped down her countertop while shaking her head. She had missed the banter and easiness of their conversations and was immensely glad to see how simple it was to return. She had been scared things would be awkward or stilted between them. Or worse, that he wouldn’t want anything to do with her at all. This fear had rolled around in her mind almost every restless night she had spent at Jade’s, gnawing away at the small bits of rest she would get every other night. Aurora had never been happy to be wrong in her life.

Aurora washed her hands before responding. She was still hungry and wanted to get to the store before the rush started.

Aurora hadn’t even made it back to her bedroom before the phone vibrated again.

  


Ari sent sent him a snarky “aye aye” back before she slipped on her canary yellow vans, pulled her hair up into two buns and sat down to apply some light makeup. She glanced at her phone almost giddily when the email notification came through, the list was a lot longer than she originally thought and she wasn’t sure if she’d need all the food.

“A pound of chicken breasts, Salmon, ground turkey _and_ shrimp? Jesus, Erik, how many proteins am I supposed to eat in a week?” Aurora wondered as she looked through the list before getting to the things he wanted her to _cut_ from her diet. “No dairy? I’m trying to eat healthy not compete for Miss Olympia or something!”

She shrugged her shoulders and decided to trust him. Grabbing her keys and slipping on a pair of cute glasses, she was still scrolling through the email as she headed to her door. When the last line had her thinking he was nuts.

“But there is _no way_ I’m cutting chocolate from my diet.”

* * *

 The cursor in the Google search bar felt nearly foreboding as it blinked steadily. Aurora drummed her fingers against the hardwood of her coffee table, her bouncing foot jostling one of the plastic bags from _Alberston’s_ that hadn’t made it to the kitchen with the rest.

Aurora had found herself replaying bits of her last session with Dr. Brown suddenly while the perky red headed sales rep had droned on about the benefits of each protein type in the Vitamin Shoppe earlier. She had no clue what had prompted the thought, but something her therapist said had jumped out at her causing dissociation to consume her the entire ride back to her apartment building.

_“Isolation. Tactic four out of sixteen domestic abusers utilize to bring their lovers to heel.”_

Sixten tactics of domestic abuse.

Aurora typed the phrase into the search bar. She scanned the entire page of results before she clicked on the second link.

“Men’s tactics of coercive control against female partners,” she read aloud, scrolling down the page with a only slightly sweaty hand to get to the list.

One-side power games, mind games, inappropriate restrictions, isolation. The list seemed longer than stated amount. Aurora forced herself to read through them, her gut twisting when the descriptions of most read very closely to things she experienced. Things Michael enjoyed using against her.

Ari hovered her mouse over tactic eight, _Separation Abuse,_ the definition making her uncomfortable with sick familiarity.  

_“Separation abuse - including stalking such as leaving flowers – this sends a threatening message that he can always find her no matter where she is.”_

She clicked on the link and read the break down and the signs, her heart rate quickening. The testimonials on the page were unsettling and triggered a memory to gouge its way through her skull.

_“I’m leaving you,” Aurora said to the back of Michael’s head with as much as conviction as could with her stomped up and bloodied nose, her voice nasally and weak._

_He looked up from his spot on the couch, pausing his game of 2K. “For what?” he asked. Ari almost believed she could hear a slight trace of sorrow laced in between his words before his face twisted in annoyance. “Your face? I already apologized to you. Just let the shit go.” He turned back to the television, unperturbed._

_She dropped her duffle on the floor between them, the sound echoing loudly enough that he turned back towards her, alarm in the ridged lines of his broad body._

_“I don’t care how sorry you are,” Ari addressed. “I’m leaving, and when I get back I want you and all of your shit gone.”  She stared at his unbelieving face, fists clenched tightly at her sides. Seconds ticked by and Aurora wanted to smile, she had rendered him speechless._

_He got up slowly, body slinking over to her fluidly like a cobra, lethal but beautiful in a way that lured you to your death. She drew herself up to her full height, keeping eye contact in order to convey the lie that she wasn’t afraid._

_“What’s all this about?” Mike asked, stopping a few feet from her._

_Ari looked him up and down. His stance was different from its normal combative and distinctly volatile nature;  his arms hung loosely at his sides, head slightly bowed and eyes filled with an emotion she hadn’t seen in months. Love. For a fleeting moment hope filled her heart close to brimming. She wanted to reach for him and have him accept her touch immediately. The way he used to before he became a monster._

_She opened her mouth to question his motives when he cut her off. “You kicking me out, sweetheart? Who gone take care of you? You don’t have a job and your student loans gone catch up to you. You wanna mess up ya credit? You gon’ run back to mommy? Y’all haven’t talked in months, she not gon’ take you in.”_

_She pushed her head higher, this wouldn’t work on her again. “I’ll manage.” She would sleep in her car, eat food out of the trash if she had to. Anything to get away from him._

_Mike’s face contorted, her answer clearly not one he anticipated and he stepped closer to her. His lips twisted when she took an echoing one back. “Ari,” he breathed out like a prayer, displaying his hands in a placating manner. “I’m sorry baby. What happened earlier...I was just mad at him for looking at what’s mine. I shouldn’t have hit you like that. It wasn’t your fault. It won’t happen again, I swear.” Her heart clenched tightly at his words._

_“You say this every time Mike and I’m sick of it,” she answered, her lip giving away the sadness and fear eating at her like acid inside. “When are you going to change? When are you going to love me again?”_

_Aurora didn’t move when he advance towards her this time. Michael looked down at, head cocked to the side. “What makes you think I don’t?”_

_“Your actions!” She took a step towards him this time. “You do this shit at all the time. Blame me for things I can’t change. Lash out at me at the tiniest inconvenience. You don’t love me! You’ve told me that with how you treat me and words and I will not stay with someone who doesn’t want me!” Aurora took note that his expression never changed but she pressed on. “I’m leaving. And I want you gone when I come back.”_

_Her chest was heaving by the time she was done, a mixture of emotion and her inability to breath through her nostrils hindering each breath._

_Michael’s expression began to morph slowly as the seriousness of the situation sunk in. His gentle gaze turned into a glare and his jaw began to clench with his hands. Aurora’s confidence began to wane as he stood higher and higher, towering over her in a way she knew meant pain and she tried to hold onto the ire she’d felt moments ago._

_He ran an agitated hand over his face and looked away from her to a spot over her shoulder for a moment. “Ok, Ari.”_

_She flinched hard when he raised his hand in the air, her entire body clamped down in anticipation for the strike. But his finger gazed across her forehead softly and she peeked her eyes open to see the uncharacteristic sadness had returned to the line of his jaw._

_“Okay baby,” he whispered, voice like a downy feather as it brushed across her ears. “If you want me gone then I’ll leave.” She blinked up at him in confusion. She had expected yelling, cursing,_ **_more_ ** _hitting. Not this understanding and soft spoken man that stood before her._

_“Just tell Jade I said ‘hi,’ okay?”_

_Aurora felt like her blood instantly froze in her veins as she looked up into his darkening face._

_“H-how?” She hadn’t told anyone she was leaving. This plan was spontaneous and based off a rush decision made the moment that Michael had given her a half assed apology only seconds after striking her for something out of her control._

_Michael chuckled dark and foreboding, his other hand coming up to cup her head lightly before he pressed a tender kiss to her wrinkled forehead. “Aurora,” he whispered as he leaned back to gaze down at her, his eyes dark and sharp like two jagged pieces of onyx sitting in his handsome face._

_“I’ll always know where you are.”_

Aurora snapped her laptop shut with shaky hands. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, as if the walls were closing in on her. Claustrophobia encroached on her, propelling her up and over to her windows where she tossed them open and took giant gasping breaths of the early spring air that greeted her. Tears collected at the corners of her eyes but she refused to let them fall. She was sick of crying over the past and over a man who had never shed a single tear for herself. She needed to face these things and put them past her. What was done was done, there was no denying nor fixing it. She needed to move on.

Ari perched herself on her windowsill allowing the breeze to cool her slightly heated face, her eyes sweeping the busy Friday streets to give her mind some reprieve before they landed on the candy red NSX in the parking lot.

Erik was home. The knowledge that he was in the building had her feeling marginally better. She walked back over to her coffee table and picked up the empty bowl she’d had the leftover pasta in and the last few bags on her way to the kitchen.

Ari was just beginning to dry the bowl Erik had bought over when there was a knock on the door.

A small smiled danced across her lips. “Come in!” she called out, running the dishcloth over the bowl once more before turning around to face Erik. She sucked in a quiet breath at the sight of him. He was dressed in a crisp white linen shirt that was tucked into umber colored pants. Looking at him in his business attire again made her _sure_ he had his clothes tailored, with the way the materials hugged his muscles like a lover.

“You really shouldn’t leave your door unlocked, Princess.” He said to her in a stern voice, placing his own bags in the center of the island.

She shrugged lightly. “You said you were coming over so I thought that’d be easier.”

“Still dangerous,” Erik concluded. He looked down at the groceries on the floor near his feet, “What time did you get back?”

“A little while ago,” Aurora said before she picked up a bag, pulling out a few boxes. “There was no point in putting up the things that didn’t need to be refrigerated.”

“Yeah that’s true,” he said.

They exchanged pleasantries as they unloaded the bags, asking about each other’s day. Erik had told her that he’d had a decent day at work; his project was on its way of being completed on time and he was now set to visit Michigan in the coming weeks. Aurora asked a few questions, being cautious of overstepping any boundaries but Erik never made her feel that she was intruding. He answered each question enthusiastically, almost giddy that he was sharing his life’s work with her. She could see he loved what he did, making a positive impact in the communities of black people seemed deeply rooted in who he was as a person. His eyes became brighter and he gesticulated more when he spoke. She loved the passion he had.

“You really love your job,” she stated as she began condensing the bags into each other.

Erik shrugged his shoulder noncommittally as he emptied the last bag on his side. “Yeah, it’s cool.” His eyes flashed over to hers as he pulled out the pack of chewy Chips Ahoy cookies, raising an eyebrow playfully.

“What?” she questioned defensively, grabbing the pack out his hand and putting it with the items that went in her pantry. “I saw on a health blog somewhere that if you have a craving you should feed it or else it’s going to eat away at you and you’ll cheat quicker. I’ll have like three in one sitting, max.”

“Mmhm,” he hummed at her. “I saw you eat an entire row of Double Stuf Oreos in fifteen minutes once. I don’t believe ya ‘have three’ ass for a second.”

“You _helped_ me eat that row so you can miss me with that.” Aurora bent down to retrieve one of the bags and let out a long hiss as her back disagreed with the movement. How was she even more sore than earlier?

Erik was looking at her with narrowed, suspicious eyes when she finally stood up. “You didn’t stretch last night did you?”

She giggled softly and scratched the back of her neck, placing the bag on the counter. “I forgot?”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Of course you did,” he said, opening the cabinet where her pots and pans were. Ari was again surprised he remembered their location after so long but somehow the knowledge sent the same warm feeling fluttering through her chest as yesterday. He pulled out a group of pots in various sizes. “After we finish this I’m going to stretch you out.”

The bag of onions Aurora was holding slipped through her fingers as her mind clouded with a very vivid of Erik on top of her doing just _that._ She licked her lips and looked up at him as he filled the smallest pot with water. “Wh-what?” she stuttered out. He couldn’t mean...could he?

Erik looked up at her with a confused expression, setting the full pot on the burner nearest to him. “I’m going to help you stretch,” he stated plainly, his gaze holding her stead. “If you don’t you’ll be even more fucking sore tomorrow.”

Aurora blinked at him slowly as the lewd image that filled her mind dissipated and embarrassment set her face ablaze. She looked back down at the counter for a second. “Oh,” she said feeling like a horny fool.

The small lift at the corner of his lips should not have been as filthy as it was. “What did you _think_ I meant, Princess?” he asked, head cocking to the side as he studied her expression with glee in his beautiful dark eyes.

She was sure she could set the apartment on fire if cloth came anywhere near her face at that moment. She coughed lightly, hoping to clear the huskiness she knew was stuck in her throat.

“Nothing.”

Erik grinned even bigger at her then. “Why you actin’ shy for?” He crossed over to where she was, his large warm hand covering hers as she continued to pull out groceries. “It’s just us in here, girl. You ain’t gotta lie to me.”

Aurora looked up at him through her lashes before slipping out of his grasp. “Ain’t nobody shy. You just a fucking pervert.”

He guwaffed loudly at her and shook his head before walking over to retrieve the meats from her refrigerator. “You have no fucking clue.”

Aurora astutely chose to _ignore_ that statement, averting her eyes when he returned to the table with the assorted meats. She picked up the stack of small bowls he had brought over with him, wrinkling her nose at them. “What am I supposed to do with these?”

“That’s the size of your meals.”

She inspected the bowl more indepthly, turning it over in her hand as if it would make it double in size. “I know I’m 4’11 and all but I eat adult sized meals, guy.”

Erik gently took the bowl out of her hand and replaced it with the pack of chicken breasts. “You look like you’ve lost some weight so I’m sure this portion is more than you’ve been eating, Princess.” He looked her up and down slowly, as if he was just seeing her for the first time. “4’11?” She nodded. “Shit, I guess I can add midget kink to my list of perversions then.”

She punched him in the arm hard, biting down on her lips to contain her laughter. “I can’t fucking stand your dumbass,” she gritted out. He blew a kiss at her and she shook her head. “Ok, what are we doing with all this?”

Erik explained her new diet to her as they prepped the food for cooking. Portion control, good and bad carbs, the benefits of different types of fish and what vitamins to take.

“You really know about this shit, huh?” Ari said cutting up the sweet potatoes and adding it to the bowl with the chopped broccoli and squash. “Why don’t you become a trainer?”

“Nah, I like where I am,” he responded as he set the oven on preheat.

“It could be a good side hustle.”

“If you need me to work you out, Ari, you only need to ask.”

She beaned a lemon straight at his head.

Of _course_ the fucker caught it.

Cooking with Erik was as fun as she remembered. The two worked well together, keeping up an easy banter that was only interrupted when she asked a question or he gave directions.

Aurora was humming to the music, Yuna and Usher’s voices mixing in the soft melody of _Crush_ floated on the air around them, as she capped the bowls she’d just filled with brown rice.

She spun around from the refrigerator and caught him looking up at her with a small smile on his mouth.

“What is it _now,_ Stevens?” she asked as she took the salmon out of the oven. Her mouth watered at the sight.

“You look a lot more comfortable in the kitchen,” he stated tilting his head to the side as he finished up browning the ground turkey.

“I told you I’ve been cooking. You think I was lying?”

Erik shook his head at her and picked up the pan, coming over to scrape the contents into their proper servings. “Nah, not anymore Princess. Although I _did_ think that picture of toast you got off Google.”

Ari looked to the ceiling and groaned exasperatedly. “Why do I even hang out with you?”

“Cause I’m handsome,” he grinned lecherously at her as he sat the pan in the sink to return to the veggies that were sauteeing in the one still on the back burner of the stove.

Aurora chose to ignore him and the partial truth to his words. She looked over at the time and realized it was late and, with all the cooking they had done, she had nothing to eat now. “Shit,” she exclaimed making Erik look her way. She sighed, “I forgot to get something for dinner.”

“We can order something,” he offered making Aurora happy with the word _we_. He was telling her that he wanted to stay longer and she was more than happy to have him. “You got like a billion take out menus. Just pick something.”

“I don’t have a _billion_ menus,” Aurora mimicked his voice as she walked over to her junk drawer. Making him laugh was probably her favorite thing to do now. “I only have,” she looked down at the papers in her hand and it was her turn to laugh at the sheer number. “ _Half_ a billion.”

Aurora loved the fact that he had been smiling since he’d gotten there. “Whatever you say, Princess. Pick something heavy though. I’m hungry as hell.”

Ari twisted her lips in thought as she plucked out a few options, zoning in on a place she hadn’t ordered from in a while. “How about pho?”

“That’s Vietnamese right?” He asked while dishing out the sauteed veggies into the bowls, completing their cooking endeavor. “I’ve never had it.”

Aurora gasped and pressed her hand to her chest. “Nigga say what? You mean Imma bout to pop ya cherry?”

Erik kissed his teeth loudly. “I’m sure I’ve popped a few of yours already, ma.” He sat the pan down and turned to look at her. “I know I’ll pop some more too. Eventually.”

She forced her gaze away from his dimpled face quickly. He always knew what to say and how to affect her. “Whatever, you want some of this shit or no?”

She could hear him lick his lips. “Yeah, get me whatever you’re getting.”

She called up _Binh Duong_ and ordered two bowls of their house special beef pho with no tripe. Her eyes tracked Erik as he put the last bowls in her refrigerator before heading towards her living room, unbuttoning his shirt. Her eyes went wide as his gorgeous bulky arms came into view. He laid the shirt across her couch and went for her small coffee table.

“Hello? Ma’am?” the store owner called into the phone.

“Yes,” she whispered before clearing her throat and trying again, ripping her eyes from Erik. He’d began to move the table over towards her entertainment center creating a large open area. “Y-yeah, that’s it.”

“Okay, twenty five minutes,” he nearly shouted into the phone before the line disconnected.

She slid phone down her chest and walked over to where Erik was waiting for her on the floor sitting back on his heels. “Uhh..?” she trailed off. She eyes his tight pectoral muscles in the white beater that stretch tightly across his chest. He looked almost edible.

“I told you I was going to stretch you out,” he answered the question that lingered in the air, sweeping an arm in front of him. “Sit down.”

Aurora dropped her phone absentmindedly on the couch on her way over to him. She lowered herself down slowly while trying to keep the pain out of her expression.

“What hurts most?” Erik asked, his eyes tracking over her face.

“My legs,” she said quietly, her thighs were trembling from mirroring his position.

He nodded. “Stretch them out in front of you.” Aurora did so immediately, relief filling her as she moved them out from under her. “Give me ya hands,” he requested, gripping them gently when she placed hers in his. “Now take a deep breath.”

Aurora looked at him strangely for a moment, it was an odd request. His whispered “trust me” found her pulling a deep breath through her mouth into her lungs, holding it as he began to pulled her arms gently forward, stretching her quadriceps and causing her to hiss.

“You gotta breathe through it, Princess,” he advised pausing but not letting her go, the stretch still present in her thighs. “I know it hurts now but it’s gonna be better after.” She nodded and screwed her eyes shut, taking another deep breath through her nose this time. Erik pulled her until she shook her head at him letting him know that she couldn’t go any further. He held her there for what felt like an eternity and Aurora wanted to scream.

“Alright,” Erik said after a few moments, releasing her gently. “Now lean back slowly.” She followed his directions, sighing in relief as the muscles relaxed. Her legs _did_ feel better but not fully recovered. She wiggled them once she reached her original position.

“Thanks,” Ari said, smiling at him.

“You’re welcome, but we ain’t done yet.” He crawled closer to where she was and Aurora fought hard to keep her face in check. The action wasn’t meant to be as sensual as she was taking it. “Keep one of your legs straight and cross the other one over it. Like this.” He got into the position and waiting for her to follow. “Now, turn your body towards me.”

“Like this?” she asked, twisting her body over her thigh.

Erik reached over to her, pushing her back up straighter and pulling her more towards him.

“Oh!” Aurora cried out softly, feeling the stretch in the side of her leg. Her face began to scrunch, showing her discomfort the more he pulled.

“Breathe, Princess,” Erik reminded her.

He had her hold and repeat the stretch on the other side and she felt much better after, the tightness was still present but the throbbing sensation that had been with her all day was gone. The look on his face, however, told her that he wasn't done.

“More?” she questioned hesitantly.

“Lay on your back with your legs stretched out.”

She huffed heavily as she got into the position. “You’re so bossy.”

“Yeah but I’m going to make you feel good babygirl.” He murmured, hovering above her with a serious face. He pinched the material of her jeans between his fingers and tugged. “Yeah they stretch,” he commented to himself. “Give me your leg.” Aurora blinked up at him, her body feeling like it was simmering over a flame with how hot and sticky she felt she was getting. Mostly in one place in particular.

“Please?” Erik tacked on after he was met with stunned silence. Aurora could tell by the way his eyebrow twitched he not only _knew_ the affect his words were having on her, the bastard was also trying not to smile.

She narrowed her eyes at him, wishing she could throw literal daggers at him with her glare. “I’m glad you find this funny,” she accused as she gave him her right leg.

“Funny? Never.” He said with an overly innocent expression, as he dragged his hands from her ankle to the back of her thigh slowly. He propped the thick extremity on his shoulder and Ari wiggled away from him slightly and closed her eyes; the image of him above her with those intense dark eyes was lighting her up in inappropriate ways. “How does that feel? Too tight.”

She sucked her lip into her mouth and bit down on it hard, shaking her head in answer.

“Words, Princess. I gotta hear you say it”

Her eyes popped open but she trained them on the ceiling, fisting her hands at her sides tightly. “No, its fine.”

“Aight, tell me if it’s too much. And _breathe_ .” That’s all the warning she got before he pushed her leg toward her, stretching out her hamstring. The process was incredibly slow and intimate in ways she had experienced in _months._ She made sure to breathe this time, mostly to ensure she wouldn’t pass out and less about the pain.

It felt like they were at it for hours before he sat her right leg down and repeated the deep stretch on her left. The grip of his fingers into her flesh and the soft way he spoke to her had her wondering, not for the first time, what kind of lover Erik was. She would have never thought of him as a gentle man, her first impression of him had her thinking of he was nothing more than a quick and dirty roll in the sheets; mind blowing sex that you experienced maybe twice before he disappeared for good. But with the careful way he handled her body and whispered encouragements he gave freely, she was seeing him in a different light. She now knew he could be a patient lover. One that took you apart piece by piece, bringing you to the edge and back again without letting you fall until he was ready. Shattering your mind with how deeply he explored you until you were nothing but a quivering mess, his name the only word you knew.  

“Feeling better?” Erik interrupted her lewd thoughts.

Aurora took a moment to take stock of her body through the haze of her lust. She did feel better, the tightness in her lower half had dissipated almost entirely. The state of her panties was another thing entirely.

“Yeah actually. Thanks.”

He snorted at her before standing. “Actually? I told you were going to feel better. And when I tell you something,” he paused, grabbing the hand she was waving in the air, looking for assistance with standing. He pulled her up and into him, wrapping a big arm around her waist to steady her as he continued to look directly into her eyes.  “I mean that shit.”

Three raps on the door broke her out of the sexually charged trance she’d found herself in. She stepped out of his arm and ran a shaky hand over her forehead. She was sweating.

“Uh, that’s the delivery boy. Lemme just go get my wallet,” she stammered, backing up toward her room.

“Nah, I got it.” Erik said walking over to the door. Aurora tried feebly to calm her rushing hormones, deciding to move her coffee table back as a way of distracting herself.

“Well, this shit smells good,” Erik announced as he walked back over to the living room.

“It’s amazing but we need bowls,” Ari told him, going over to kitchen to retrieve them as well as two glasses. Erik was sitting on the floor between the couch and table inspecting the container of broth with a curious eye. The _Death Note_ episode selection screen was already up on her TV as well.

“Can’t we just eat it out of this shit?”

She sat next to him and passed him his bowl and cup. “There isn’t enough space to fit everything.”

Erik watched her as she pulled out the contents of the bag and sat in between them. “What the fuck is ‘everything’? Does shit shit come with instructions? The point of ordering out was so that we we could just eat the food when it got here.”

Ari threw him an exasperated look. “You done complaining, Stevens?”

He shrugged. “Probably not.”

He did stay quiet as Aurora explained the different components of the dish to him. She showed him how to combine the noodles and the rare sliced beef to the broth to ensure that the meat cooked all the way through. She added mint, bean sprouts, hoisin, sriracha and a good squeeze of lime juice into her bowl as Erik watched her carefully.

“What about the jalapenos?” He asked holding one in his fingers.

Aurora turned her nose up while she mixed her food with her chopsticks. “I’m not good with spicy.”

“More for me then,” he said, dumping the whole pile to his bowl causing Ari to visibly shudder. She decided to keep her comments to herself as she picked up the remote and selected episode six. The room filled with the sounds of the muted slurps as they watched Light leave a coded message for L on the screen.

“I’m guessing the shit was good,” Aurora commented as Erik put his bowl down and patted his stomach.

“Yeah that was rockin’. I don’t know why I’ve never tried it,” he mused as the next episode began.

“You’re welcome,” she smirked.

“Uh huh. Now I got the itis.”

Ari sat her bowl next to his, she was too full to finish her noodles but they would make a good lunch tomorrow. “Wanna call it a night?” she offered. She would be sad to see him go but would understand. After working a full day at work and cooking for nearly two hours she knew she couldn’t be selfish enough to keep him up. No matter how much she enjoyed his company.

“Let’s watch this last episode,” he said around a yawn.

“Alright,” she voiced, turning back to the television. A few minutes later she heard a light snore from next to her. She looked over to find Erik fast asleep. She laughed quietly to herself, he didn't even last ten minutes. She turned her body towards him fully, careful of the bowls and glasses next to her, and allowed herself to study him in detail. His head was back on the couch cushion behind him, dreads hanging in his right eye, face smooth and mouth slightly opened. He was still gorgeous but he looked younger this way; like a child you carry to bed after they’ve watched one too many late night cartoons.

Aurora pillowed her hand under her cheek, the show basically forgotten as she gazed at him. She wanted to kiss the spot between his eyebrows and rub her nose against his. She wanted to shake him lightly and tell him to come to bed. Aurora wanted fiercely, a feeling that seemed to run more deeply through her the more she spent time with this beautiful man. But she wasn’t there. Not yet.

_Soon,_ her mind told her and she smiled in agreement.

“Erik,” she called out to him gently. It was time to get him home, he looked exhausted, but he didn’t stir at her saying his name. “Hey, E,” she tried again. She reached out to him, placing her hand in the upturned one in his lap and squeezed his fingers gently. “Wake up sleepyhead.”

Erik’s eyes popped open cold and hard, his hand grasping her so tightly, almost to the point of pain. He looked at her for a moment, a deadly expression that had her heart beating hard for a moment, before he blinked, recognition clearing the storm in his eyes and his grip relaxed around her fingers.

“Shit, sorry Aurora,” he said sitting up fully, absently bringing her hand to his lips to kiss her fingers in apology. “You scared me, girl.”

She nodded and licked her lips, her fingers tingling for another reason now. “Yeah, I saw. Sorry about that. I called you but you didn’t answer. I shouldn’t have touched you.”

“What?” he said quickly. “Nah, you can touch me. It’s cool. It’s just,” he sighed deeply, his whole body moving with it, “been awhile.”

Ari nodded in an understanding way she didn’t completely feel. No one had touched him in awhile? That was...interesting.

“Same,” she found herself saying before she realized. She pulled her hand from his slowly, physical contact from him was obviously short circuiting her brain and she was done embarrassing herself for the night.. “I’ve kept you up too long. You should go get some rest.”

He scratched his head. “Yeah, I am tired. Just let me help you clean up the kitchen.”

“Uh uh, Stevens,” she said holding up a hand in front of him when he tried to get up. “You’ve done enough for me tonight. I got this, just go get some rest. Please?”

He gave her a warm sleepy smile.  “Worried about me, Princess?”

“Always,” she said, smiling back. “Now get out, before I kick you out. Those your only two options.”

“Pffft,” he laughed, getting up. “Like your short legs and small ass feet could do anything to me.”

“You ain’t staying to find out,”  Aurora said walking towards the door. She waited for him to slip his loafers on and grab his shirt before she opened it for him, sincerity washing over her face. “Thanks for tonight. I had fun.”

“Me too,” Erik said before pulling her into a hug like the night before. She rubbed her face into the scars in his sternum, getting use to the feel of them now. “Get some sleep too and make sure you eat at the right times,” his voice vibrated through her, deep and rich before he pulled back to look down at her. “I’ll see you again this weekend?”

She nodded, “If you want to.”

“Aight cool. Night shorty.”

“G’night.” She closed the door softly and looked back at her apartment with new eyes. It was a mess that she couldn’t leave for tomorrow.

Aurora cleaned up her living room and loaded her dishwasher with what felt like a permanent smile on he face. She hadn’t had that much fun since the last time they had hung out together.

“He wants to see me again this weekend,” she sing-songed to herself, putting her leftover pho in the refrigerator and hitting the lights all the lights on her way to her room.

She shimmied out of her pants and sweater, still humming an unknown tune as she slipped into bed and turned off the lights.

Today was a good day. She could only hope the rest her weekend was as well.

* * *

 Aurora spent much of her Saturday editing her book. She was growing anxious as the release date was quickly approaching and she still did not have a title. She kept thinking of onethat represented everything that her muse had brought into her life.

A title fitting of a man like Erik.

She paused on her one of the last poems she wrote, reading over it as pride bloomed in her chest.

_the world_

_gives you_

_so much pain_

_and here you are_

_making gold out of it._

The words had Ari realizing that this book wasn’t written for Erik but rather how he made her feel. Like herself. Before Michael and the bullshit he caused.

She had written the book for Her. Revealing possibilities to herself that she had previously viewed as unobtainable.  This was her way of getting back who she was.

“HER,” Aurora said out loud. She quickly switched over to Gmail and typed out a message to her two teammates.

“Having Everything Revealed.”

* * *

 “Princess, what are you doing?” Erik asked, confusion laced through his words as he clicked numerous buttons on his controller.

“What you mean? I’m fucking these zombies up,” Ari said, her tongue sticking out the side of her lips in concentration. They were playing the zombie level of Call of Duty that Sunday afternoon. She had told him how terrible she was at first person shooters - RPGs and rumble royale games were more her speed - and how much she _hated_ zombies but Erik had still talked her into it. So far, she was doing pretty damn amazing if her kill count was anything to go by. She’d only died once which was a feat in itself.

“Uh, no you’re not,” Erik laughed. “You’re running around in a circle, wasting bullets. And there’s a horde coming your way in like five seconds.”

“Huh?” Ari asked shooting a zombie right between the eyes in a clean shot. She whooped loudly and threw her hand in the air. “Did you see that shit? I just took that mothafuck OUT!” she laughed.

“Ari, what side of the screen do you _think_ you’re on?”

She pointed to where she was standing in the middle of a bunch of dead bodies. “The right one, duh!” Erik almost dropped the controller he was laughing so hard and Aurora looked to the other side where the character she was starting believe she was controlling was quickly being eaten alive. She face palmed. “That’s me isn't it?”

Erik could only nod at her through his continued laughter, tears leaking from the corner of his eyes.

“Man, fuck this,” she said putting her controller on the cushion next to her, trying not to join his infectious hiccuping laughing fit. Her side-eye was wasted on him as he was covering his face, his whole body shaking now.  “I _told_ you I was bad at this and now you’re over there about to piss yourself laughing.”

“W-wait,” Erik choked out through gasping breaths, trying to gain his composure. “I-I’ll teach you. Don’t stop playing.” He wiped his eyes and looked over at her with a huge smile. “Oh _mka,_ that was funny. You almost killed me, babygirl. Aight, we gone start over. This time stick next to me instead of running off like last time and maybe your ass won’t die.”

Aurora smacked her lips and picked up her controller. This nigga was lucky he was cute. “What-the-fuck-ever, be better at leading this time and I won’t have to run off without you to find the action.”

“It’s called _strategy,_ Princess. Let them bring the fight to you.”

“Uh huh, it’s called _boring._ Now press the damn button.”

Erik snickered again before doing what she asked, resetting the map.

Ari did stay close to him this time, her eyes darting between his screen and her own to watch the map from all angles. She was actually starting to get the hang of it, anticipating the zombies automated movements and taking a few out with her knife when they got too close. Her accuracy still wasn’t the best, but she was holding her own and that made her giddy.

“Oh shit, I’m surrounded. They got me cornered,” Erik said, leaning forward to the TV, his expression serious.

“I got you,” Ari said confidently, shaking the zombie that was on her tail and making it to where he was. She sprayed bullets wildly in his direction, taking out most of the group and creating a hole where he could escape and drop the others with precision she was becoming use to envying.

“Ha! I saved your ass, Stevens!” she exclaimed triumphantly before the zombie she’d forgotten at her back took a fatal swipe at her head. “Damnit!” she screeched.

Erik hit pause before he broke out laughing again, smacking the pillows beside before he popped up. “Fuck, girl. You bout to make a nigga piss on himself.” He got to his feet still laughing at her as he made his way to the bathroom.

“Asshole,” Aurora grumbled, picking up her phone. She had twelve new text messages from Jade. “What the f-”

There as a loud bang on the door. “Ari open this damn door!”

She got to her feet quickly and ran over to the door before she could start her signature “I’m pissed” nonstop pounding.

“J? What are you doing here?”

Jade looked at her, anger glinting in her brown eyes dangerously. “If you had read any of the texts I’ve sent you over the last two hours you would’ve _known_ I was bringing you a mockup of your book cover!” She fumed, thrusting an envelope into her stomach and pushing past her into the apartment. “What the fuck were you doing? Stinky ass old man Fred had to let me in and you _know_ he loves black women. I had to swat his wandering hands like four times.”

Aurora glanced at the bathroom door near her laundry room quickly before following Jade into the kitchen. “Sorry, I was doing busy and my phone wasn’t near me.”

Jade looked up at the TV and the empty bag of chips on the table. “Ok bitch, where is he?”

Aurora tried to keep the panic that washed over her off of her face. “Who?” she feigned ignorance.

Jade narrowed her eyes and took a menacing step towards the shorter woman. “The nigga who got you playing a game you despise. And _before_ you fix ya fuckin’ lips to lie, I see that nigga Air Maxs sitting next to your couch. So _where_ bitch?”

Aurora sighed deeply and hung her head. Why did she even try? “He’s in the bathroom.”

“Erik?” Jade asked, an almost evil smile painting her lips. Aurora _knew_ that glint in her eyes.

“Yes, and I swear to black Jesus, Jade Simone Henderson, if you even _think_ of being rude to him I will cut your ass with your own Malonos!” Aurora seethed quietly to her bestie.

Jade clutched her invisible pearls, leaning away from her friend with a pleasantly surprised face. “Daaamn, bitch. This nigga _must_ be fine if you actin’ like _that._ I can’t wait to meet him.”

They heard the toilet flush and faucet turn on in the bathroom and Aurora threw Jade a sharp look that had the woman miming zipping her mouth shut.

Erik stepped out the bathroom on socked feet looking over at them with a face that told her he’d heard the entire exchange.

Aurora could see Jade’s jaw drop from her peripheral and almost failed at keeping the smile from pulling across her lips. His basic black jeans and t-shirt only heightened his appeal.

“Oh hell naw nigga! You gotta go!”

She should have _known_ Jade couldn’t keep her promise.

“Jade!” Aurora hissed at her best friend.

“‘Jade’ nothing, Ari. Why you let this untrustworthy nigga in ya house?”

“Ayo what?” Erik asked, walking over to where they were, a slightly pissed expression on his face but Jade ignored him. Her full attention on her best friend.

“Jade you don’t even know him,” Aurora said just as defensive as Erik’s pose, crossing her arms over her chest. She knew them meeting was a bad idea but this was even worse.

“Sis, do you _see_ this nigga face? He is TOO fine,” Jade explained, motioning to him emphatically. “Look at that mouth! It’s good for nothing but eating pussy and lying.”

Aurora was horrified to find a smile creeping up on her as Erik’s raised eyebrow, a “what the fuck” pointed in her friend’s direction. She addressed him then, trying to salvage this horrible introduction.  “I’m sorry she was _just_ leaving. Right, J?”

Jade craned her neck at Ari to give her a disbelieving look. “If you kickin’ me out you _better_ be getting some dick, Ari.” She looked up at Erik. “Sir, are you here for a dick appointment?”

“Nah, not that I know of,” he said, shaking his head. He looked back over at Aurora and licked his lips. She squeezed her thighs together as the gesture echoed in her core. She was going to die if Jade kept talking.

Jade cut her off before Aurora could berate her; she had seen the small heated exchange and was having _none of it_ . “See! I _told_ you! This nigga is a product of the devil’s work and I rebuke you from my house!”

“Jade you don’t even live here!” Aurora nearly yelled at her friend’s outburst.

Jade was unperturbed, her sights still on Erik as she pointed toward the door. “Like I said, I rebuke you!”

Erik huffed a laugh, seemingly unaffected by her words. “I think I’m gonna go, Princess.” He went to step around them but Ari stepped in front of him.

“Wait, Erik.” She turned to her soon-to-be-dead ex best friend with a mean look. “Could you give us a moment please?”

“Yeah aight, but as the Lord said ‘lead us not into temptation,’” she recited motioning the sign of the cross over Erik before she walked into the kitchen.

Ari sighed heavily when she was out of ear range, sweeping her curls back from her face and looking up at Erik with an apologetic expression. “I’m really sorry about her.”

Erik chuckled, “She just cares about you, no big deal.”

“But she’s...a lot,” Aurora explained, knowing Jade didn’t deserve his easy apology. “Sorry she was rude.”

He waved his hand dismissively. “Like I said, not a big deal. It looks like she has something she wants to talk about tho,” he said, tipping his head to the envelope she was still holding.

“Oh, yeah it’s about my book,” she offered, looking over to where Jade was connecting her phone to her bluetooth speaker. A sense of dread tingled in her belly. Jade was scheming and she knew it.

_It be ya own niggas,_ she thought.

“You gone actually let me read this one?” Erik asked with a private smile on his face.

She raised her eyebrow at him, he was _also_ up to something. “I told you what you have to do,” she reminded him of her conditions, confident that her pseudonym would keep him stumped until she was ready to share

He rolled his lips together for a second, contemplating something but was cut off by loud music, _Kama Sutra_ by Juicy J, blaring out from the kitchen.

_Boy you betta fuck me all night/Boy you betta fuck me all night/Boy you betta fuck me all night/All night/All night/Boy you betta fuck me all night/Boy you betta fuck me all night/Boy you betta fuck me all night/All night/All night._

Jade came behind Erik, twerking her shapely ass in a circle just for her and Ari eyes nearly bugged out at the ridiculousness of the situation. She could _not_ deal with this shit right now.

“How is this my _life!?_ ” Aurora asked the ceiling.

“Ya friend is wild,” Erik said, turning back to find Jade staring at her nails nonchalantly. As if she hadn’t been clapping cheeks seconds before.

“What nigga?” She asked irritably.

“You real funny, you know that? Almost as funny as ya face.”

“The fuck you just say?!” Jade asked, stepping close. Ari quickly stepped around Erik, pushing him from behind towards the door.

“Aaaand, it’s time for you to go!” she said hurriedly, picking up his sneakers as they passed the couch.

“I can walk on my own, Princess,” Erik stated, opening the door before she could push him _into_ it.

“Yup, yes you can.” She stopped once he was out in the hall. “I’m really _really_ sorry abou-”

He pushed his finger to her mouth to silence her. “It’s cool, Ari. I’ll talk to you later.”

She rolled her lips and nodded. “Later.”

He smiled to her before tossing a “Peace” in Jade’s direction. Aurora closed the door and stomped over to her best friend.

“What the _fuck_ Jade!” she yelled over the music.

Jade turned the song off with a roll of her eyes. “I saved you. You can at least be a little greatful. Is a ‘thank you, Jade you wonderful, beautiful bitch’ too much to ask for?”

“You embarrassed me! Why the fuck would I thank you?” Ari growled, going over to turn off her Playstation.

“That nigga looks like Sin! That’s why,” she said evenly and pointed towards the door. “Filthy, nasty, dirty, sheet clawin’, sweat ya silk press out sin!” Aurora rolled her eyes at her but it didn’t deter her. “A nigga like him would have you leaving God and speaking the devil’s tongue. Now,” she said tossing her bag over her shoulder, “let’s go get cleansed in the name of the Father.”

Aurora stomped her foot at her, “You don’t even believe in God, J!”

Jade’s rebuttal was cut off by another knock on the door and she ran over to the door before Ari could even think to move.

“Oh, hey!” she greeted Erik with a knowing look. “Back so soon?”

He rolled his eyes before looking at Ari. “I forgot my keys.”

Jade looked him up and down slowly. “Mmm, did you?” she winked.

Aurora turned to see them on the coffee table and threw them at him, sure he’d catch them. “ThereyougoseeyoulaterErikbye!” she yelled, walking over and closing the door before Jade could say another damn word.

“Bitch, he did that on purpose,” Jade began. “How many niggas you know just lay they keys around? They always have them in their pockets!”

Ari walked away from her, rapidly becoming annoyed further at the whole situation. “He really forgot, Jade. I just pushed him out the door. Remember?”

“Mmhm. Nigga was probably staring at ya ass,” she said coming over and pinching Ari’s bubble butt making the girl jump. “Grey leggins? Nice move.”

“Why are you _here_ Jade?”

“I told you. I was coming to show you the book cover. Now that we have a title, it was easy for Shanice to complete the first draft.”

“Shanice?” Ari questioned, taking her meal out of the refrigerator. It was time to eat and she was _starving._

She heard Jade sigh. “You haven’t read any of our texts have you?”

“All you guys do is bicker. I didn’t feel like weeding through the bullshit to get to the actual work.”

“Whatever, Kamia and I have been working closely this weekend while you were being tempted by a nigga with a mouth from Hades.”

Ari took her Salmon and rice out of the microwave, she would circle back to the “Kamia and I” part after, and grabbed a fork. “Are you done talking about Erik?”

“Not at all. Keep fucking with that nigga he gon’ slurp ya soul out your body like that corner store ramen you like so much.”

She shot Jade a look, fork pausing in the air. “Nigga did you just compare my pussy to a fifty cent pack noodles?”

Jade cocked her head. “You eat that shit so much, it probably taste like it. Drink some water and repent.”

“You real lucky I’m fucking hungry or that would be ya ass.”

“Sure it would sis, eat your food. You gon’ need energy if you fucking that nigga.” Jade picked up her phone, typing briskly and Ari grew concerned.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Tellin’ ya momma you flirting with Satan.”

Aurora dropped her bowl on the counter and gave chase, following Jade manic laughter to the back of her apartmet.

“Bitch, I will kill you!”

* * *

_drop me a comment loves, xo._


	11. Erik's Interlude II - Doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this was NOT the chapter I meant to write but it was my home girl's birthday Wendesday and wheeew chile I FORGOT (friend of the year award goes to THIS GUY) so I decided to post something for her. 
> 
> Chapter warnings: Slooooow Burn!!! self deprecation, copious use of the n word, swearing.
> 
> Word Count: 4.5K short but hopefully sweet.
> 
> Suggested Listening: Ooh Nah Nah (Feat. Masego) by SiR - please listen to this, it’s sexy as hell and SOO Erik.
> 
> I’m not exactly sure who the poem If You Must in this chapter is by. I found it while I was trolling pintrest. If anyone knows the author, please tell me so I can give them credit. 
> 
> Enjoy dolls, xo.

Erik's Interlude II - Doubt

 

Erik hung his work bag on one of the hooks located on the side of the table as the host, Edgar, informed him that the waiter would be with him momentarily. He gave a quick but courteous nod at the smaller man, ignoring the look of awe in his gaze. He was as used to men staring as he was he was women. He was aware of the energy he brought with him everywhere he went; sensual, mysterious, commanding. Boorish in a way that made people _want_ to cater to him, if only in an attempt to tame the insensitivity that rippled across every tight smiled he offered. It was a heady cocktail that he often used to his advantage but couldn’t quite turn off completely.

Erik unbuttoned his charcoal grey suit jacket and opened the top buttons on his black dress shirt as his attentive eyes swept across the crowd noting exits and assessing potential threats. He glanced at his watch, 6:23 PM. He had texted Deisa the address to _Honiko & the Bird _in Century City telling her to meet him there at 6:30 after her husband, Shad, had texted him to look out for her for the next few months. He’d gotten unexpectedly deployed which explained the annoyed huff the project engineer emitted anytime she glanced at her phone. Erik decided by the ninth sigh to take her out and let her vent, chill and get a drink. He didn’t like the idea of her going home to be alone and upset.

“Good afternoon,” a smoky voice greeted him. He looked up from the menu in his hand, his eyes locking on his waitress’ vixen green stare. Her grin held an almost feral edge as she gave him an appreciative once over. “Welcome to _Honiko,_ handsome. My name is Breelyn and I’ll be your server tonight. Have you been here before?”

Erik wanted to roll his eyes at the evident purr in her voice. “Nah,” he said in a bored voice before diverting his attention back to his menu almost dismissively.

Breelyn blinked a few times, the coarseness of his attitude rubbing her wrongly. Erik could tell she hadn’t been expecting his reaction. She adjusted her stance and tossed her auburn hair over her shoulder. “Well, it’s happy hour!” she chirped trying to regain her traction and attempted to switch over to a more professional demeanor. “All of our signature cocktails are half off as well as the okonomiyaki burger, which is to _die_ for. It has pe- ”

“The ingredients are listed right here, don’t tire yourself out,” he interrupted, still not meeting her eyes. He caught the way she narrowed hers out of his peripheral and his sniffed a mental laugh. “I’ll have the punta seca and a dark and stormy.”

“Perfect!” she clapped, her voice almost too shrill and Erik winced dramatically to make her feel bad. She cupped a hand over her mouth briefly in apology. “Did you need me to take your menus away?”

“We not allowed to eat?” he questioned, lifting his brows, feigning surprise.

“We?” Breelyn questioned before her milky complexion started to turned a bright red. “I didn’t know you had a gir- I mean, no no,” she rushed, growing more frantic after each word. “Of course, sorry. I-I’ll be right back with your drinks, sir.” She scurried away and Erik grinned evilly. He was going to love fucking with this girl tonight.

“Damn E, this place is _swanky.”_ Desia said in lieu of a greeting as Edgar fought to keep up with her a few minutes later. Erik threw the boy a “don’t bother” look that had him about-facing before he stood and helped his friend out of her jacket and onto the barstool. She kissed his cheek in thanks. “You know I’m married right?” He laughed at the saucy wink she threw at him as she picked up the drink menu, mouth pulling down at the prices of the wine selections.

He looked around the airy space and actually noticing it’s decor. It had immediately reminded him of Venice when he pulled open the heavy oak doors, with its open patio space, wood paneling, glass ceiling and the leafy fauna artfully climbing the walls. He liked it.

“Yeah, it’s pretty dope. A lil pretentious for my taste though,” he stated, sitting back down and looking over at the group of white college kids with the identical boat shoes and hair cuts.

She followed his line of sight and snorted. “Yeah, it’s the Brad Brigade. Not surprised. Did you see the building this bar is in? All I smelled was money when I pulled up.”

“Here’s your drinks,” Breelyn announced, almost tripping when she linked eyes with Desia. “Welcome!” she greeted, forced politeness evident in the lines around her eyes. Desia rolled her eyes over to Erik who grinned at her covertly and just like _that_ his friend knew where this was going. “Did you get a chance to look over our food menu?”

“I’m good, sis. I’ll eat when I get home. Don’t need you sweating into my food.”

Erik bit down on his straw to keep from snorting his drink through his nose. Breelyn blinked at Desia’s wide grin a few times before turning her emerald eyes to Erik who held up his hand before she could ask the same question.

“I’m straight.”

The waitress stuttered out a “holler if you need me” before making a speedy exit and the two laughed at the exchange.

“She tried flirting with you didnt she?” Desia questioned knowingly before she picked up her glass and took a tentative sip. Her eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head as she gave an appreciative moan, “Ugh, my favorite. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome and yeah something like that. You know how I feel about Becky’s though,” Erik said, pulling the straw out of his glass and taking a swig. It was strong the way he appreciated.

"Yes, but I also know how they feel about _you,_ ” she reminded him, grinning over the top of her glass.

“Uh huh. You wanna talk about today or be an ass?” he asked giving the wound up woman across from him access to vent. He knew how much she hated beating around the bush and unnecessary small talk.

“They really deployed this nigga a _month_ before my birthday!” she blurted, placing her nearly empty glass down on the table roughly. He knew then he had to watch how many she had, he didn’t need her crashing the new Audi R8. “This is the _third_ year in a row, E. He literally just got home a few weeks ago and now he’s gone for who knows how long. It’s not that I _don’t_ support him or that I’m not happy for him, because I do and I am...I just,” she paused and her face slightly crumpled in sadness and Erik felt for her. “I just want him to be _here._ We don’t even have to _do_ anything for my birthday, I just want him with me. Safe.”

Erik scratched his chin thoughtfully as Desia rubbed at the corners of her eyes, wiping the tears that threatened her. “I’m not gone lie to you and tell you that I understand. You know better than most that I didn’t give a fuck about anyone while I was away for service. But I will say that Shad loves and cares for you and when you have someone like that, someone waiting for you,” - an image of Ari’s smiling face flashed through his mind, pulling at the corners of his heart - “you do _anything_ to come back to them.”

The look on Desia’s face was too knowing. “Thank you and I’m glad that _someone_ finally got you to understand that part.”

He rolled his eyes good naturedly before flagging down their waitress and signalling their need for refills. He didn’t want to talk about that so he changed the subject. “Yeah, just like I know you need some friends. I’m tired of being the only one dragging your ass out when you sad.”

She clicked her tongue with a dismissive wave of her hand before draining her drink. “I got you and that’s _more than enough._ And besides, all the military wives do is create drama by talking about _other_ people’s drama. I’m good. In my lane is where I shall stay.”

“What about the girls at work?” he tried without actual hope. He knew how she felt about her colleagues.

“Really nigga? You mean the bitches that only wanna be my friends to get to ya pretty ass? Hard pass.” Erik gave her a lopsided grin and wink that had her profusely thanking Breelyn for the refill. She knew she was gone need more alcohol to deal with his antics. She took a few more sips before sighing again. “And what’s with all this nonsense anyway? You and Shad need to stop hanging out. You starting to sound like him.”

“Why? So I can no friends like you?” he accused, pushing one of the glasses of water towards her.

Desia eyed it before squinting at him. “Oh nigga, _you_ can kiss my ass. Both of y’all aggy.” Her phone pinging made her kiss her teeth. “I bet you this is about that delivery being delayed for the hundredth time.”

“You need to stop bringing work home with you,” Erik scolded her before pulling out his cell.

 _You gone be home for D’s bday?_ Erik texted Shad quickly while Desia was still glued to her phone.

“Yeah like I have a choice,” Desia grumbled, picking up her drink again as the stiletto tip of her thumbnail tapped across her screen.

 _Shit nigga I’m trying,_ Shad texted back immediately. _If not I’m going to send her something to your place. Cool?_

"Need me to talk to Safiyah again?” Erik offered, knowing that the Senior Director of Engineering would listen to him without hesitation if he flashed his slugs at her. _Another_ advantage to his charm and position. He thanked Breelyn when she dropped off the drinks. Desia’s hand immediately shot out to pick it up for a quick sip before she went back to what she was typing.

 _Yea that’s fine,_ Erik told his sparring partner. _But she upset so let me know and we can surprise her or sumtin._

“Uh no. We cool,” Desia’s voice was a little distant. He knew she was composing a competent response to whatever inquiry her boss had. He’d seen her draft an entire construction layout five drinks deep. She was that good.

He looked down at his vibrating cell. _Bet. Good looks homie._ Erik took a sip of his new drink, formulating a plan to help get Shad home. He still had some connects in the Navy. He made a mental note to start calling in a few favors.

“Done,” she announced. She picked up her glass and drained the last of her drink. “Sorry about that.”

Erik smiled at her, the alcohol was hitting her; she was much more relaxed, her shoulder no longer up to her ears. “It’s cool Des, you know you ain’t gotta apologize to me. I get it.”

“Hmm,” she hummed as she swirled around the ice in her glass before putting it down and picking up the water. “So, what’s new with your _Princess_?” Her grin was larger than the cheshire cat’s. She definitely felt better now. “Y’all good now?”

Erik nodded his head, knowing her couldn’t skip the subject of Aurora twice. He really didn’t _want_ to if he was being honest. “Yeah we straight, I was with her all weekend.”

His friend perked up at that, he could almost see her ears tune more into his words. He fought the urge to roll his eyes at her. “Yeah, all weekend? Y’all fuck and make up yet?”

He _did_ roll his eyes that time. “Really, D?”

“What?” she asked innocently. “A nigga can hope right?”

“You a lil too invested in my sex life. I’m starting to worry.”

“Well, you want me to make friends.”

Erik looked at her incredulously. “That’s…...not the same thing,” he said slowly, scared of where she was headed.

“Sure it is,” she bopped her head up and down, her lengthy curls swinging with the movement. “I want you and Ari to be _friendly_ enough that y’all fuck. I’m just looking out for you. _Both_ of you really.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose but he could feel the smile creeping up on him. “You done yet?”

“ _Fine!”_ she gave up and crossed her arms over her chest as she leaned back in her chair. “Did you at least get her book?”

Erik stiffened slightly. He hadn’t told her yet. “Yeah, I’ve had it for a few weeks now.”

“Weeks?” Desia raised a suspicious brow at him and leaned a little more forward. Her eyes danced around his face looking for the telling ticks she had become familiar with. He could tell she knew he was leaving something out. “When we spoke last week you told me she still hadn’t told you her pseudonym.”

“She didn’t,” he confessed.

“Yet you have her book.”

“Yeah.”

Desia pressed her lips together and narrowed her yes. “What did you do?”

“Shuri and I may have looked into her company’s employee records.”

“N’Jadaka Udaku!” she scolded loudly causing a few members of the Brad Birgade to look their way. Erik _knew_ she was pissed. She only called him his birth name when she was mad or he was doing the most. Right now he knew it was both. “You _hacked_ her company’s database!?”

“Could you say it any louder, Des?” He asked lowly, throwing one of the kids a menacing look that had them all turning back to their food.

“Nigga, we _talked_ about this. You promised me you weren’t going to do this shit.”

Erik shrugged noncommittally. What was done was done and he didn’t regret it. He told his friend as much.

“Well since you got it, did you find what you were looking for?” Desia asked still more than a little annoyed with him.

Erik clenched his jaw. It was a loaded question and he wasn't sure how to begin answering it. The discovery of her work did shed light on the mystery that surrounded her which helped him understand her reactions and hesitancy towards him, but he still didn’t have the full story. He had been tempted to confess his snooping and ask her over the weekend but refrained. He didn’t want to burst the happy bubble that was quickly surrounding them again. But, the more he dissected the heavy words and almost encrypted messages in her book, the deeper worry and fear for her safety rooted into his heart. His gut was telling him that he needed to know more than he actually wanted to. He could feel Killmonger scratching at the cage he locked him in anytime he even _thought_ of someone hurting her. Once he got confirmation he knew not even the thickest bars would have a chance of keeping his personified rage in check.

Erik reached back into his bag and pulled out his copy of _Breaking Pointe_ , sliding it over to Desia in silent answer to her question.

She picked up the well loved book and slid her slender fingers across the broken spine. The low wink of her wedding ring reminded of a life he would probably never have as she opened up to a piece he knew too well. His lips bunched together at the corner of his mouth in a resentful smile, it mocked him every time he read it.

“ _Kill me if you must_ ,” he recited, his eyes following the sweat that slid down the face of his glass like glistening tears. “ _But I shall not bow to a King who wears a crown studded with the jewels of every life he has ended_.”

His friends worried hazel eyes swung up to his face at the tightness in his voice. “Erik,” she started. To her credit she didn’t look at the scars he knew were peeking through the opening of his shirt. Evidence that this particular poem could indeed be about him.

“She’s been hurt Des and she aint ready to talk about it,” Erik voiced. “And I’m not sure a nigga like me is going to help her.”

“A nigga like what, E?” Desia questioned. He knew she hated when he talked about himself negatively. She shook her head, not waiting for his answer. “First of all Stevens, if you were one of _those_ niggas, _we_ wouldn’t be cool nor would I want you around my man.”

He smiled but could tell by the unimpressed look still marring her cute face that it looked as fake as it felt.  

“Secondly, do you think Ari would wanna be around you if you _were_ on of those niggas?” Erik had to admit, she had a good point. “I know she likes you. Don’t ask me how I know, just know that I know.”

Erik’s laugh was real. “You got my girl all figured out, huh?”

“Maybe not,” she admitted with a thoughtful look. “But I know _you,_ the past and the present versions. If she isn’t already in love with you, she’s a fool.” Erik sucked in a quiet breath, his heart picking up slightly. If his friend noticed, she did him the favor of not showing it. “This is the old you talking sir and we don’t know that nigga no more.”

Erik knew she was right. She had seen him at some of his low moments and was always there to beat some sense into him. Even when he swore he didn’t need anyone or any help, she wouldn’t let him push her away. He was forever grateful for it, she would never know how her stubbornness helped him.

“Also, sis told you she was going to come to you when she’s ready, you gotta trust that she will. Patience is a virtue my friend.”

“Oh?” he asked. “That’s rich coming from someone who can’t wait twenty minutes for her wings when she’s hungry.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t hack the kitchen computer to make it happen like you did,” she smiled at him and he shook his head, calling her a dick under his breath. “Let her come to you.”

He sighed gently and picked up his watered down drink. “Aight,” he acquiesced the decision made for him.

“Good, in the meantime continue being her _friend,”_ she stretched the word and made air quotes with her fingers sarcastically. “Everyone knows y’all crushing on each other... _hard._ Plus, friendship based love _is_ the best kind.”

He rolled his eyes to the ceiling, every time she said that word his heart leapt. “You jumping the gun there, Desia. We _just_ friends.”

She gave him a look. “Semantics,” she dismissed. “But enough of the mushy stuff,” Desia announced, picking up the menu again. “This on you, right? Cause I’m getting another drink.”

Erik rolled his eyes and signaled for Breelyn bring another refill. “This that last one then I’m cutting ya ass off. I’m not carrying you in the house like I did last month.”

“Consider yourself blessed to have touched any of this at all, sir.”

He snorted into his water. “You right, _sis_.”

* * *

 

Erik drummed his fingers against his steering wheel to the beat of _Ooh Nah Nah,_ his mood significantly lighter after his conversation with Desia. He was always struck by how much she understood him after only seven months of knowing each other. He had taken her out to make sure she didn’t sulk in her apartment and had dumped all of his problems onto her shoulders. And she hadn’t faulted him for it.

_“Des, about tonight,” he started, wanting to apologize for unloading on her. His hands deep were deep his pants pockets as he walked her to her car unsure of where to start. He didn’t want to get emotional but he knew he had to say his piece or he would feel bad next time he saw her._

_“What about it? I was serious when I said I wanted a pinata stuffed with twizzlers at the surprise birthday party you better be throwing me, Stevens,” she threatened, rooting around her bag for the keys that were in her hand. He laughed quietly and pulled them out of her grasp, dangling them in her face. “Ah! I was looking for those.”_

_“I was talking about everything_ else _you said. About me and Ari,” he took a deep breath. “Thank you.”_

_She blinked up at him, pushing her teal glasses up her nose. “No need to thank me. I just didn’t want you to talk shit about my best friend. I love that nigga and I won’t have you slandering his good name. I’ll beat you the fuck up.”_

_He pulled her into a tight hug that surprised them both, pouring all of the gratefulness he felt for her into the embrace. “I love you too, D.”_

He smiled at the easiness of moment. He was glad to have both her and her husband in his life.

The light leading onto his block turned green and turned the corner with ease, singing along to jazzy soul song playing lowly through his speakers.

_Feel like I’ve known you forever/Can’t believe that you just met me/I got hella shit to do today/I’m just hoping you don’t let me/I’m ready for breakfast in bed/I’m ready for another round/Your melody’s stuck in melody’s stuck in my head/I’ve never heard a sweeter sound_

Erik pulled into the lot of the building and spotted a familiar bubble butt sheathed in red plaid making it’s way over to the dumpster near the far end of the fence. He parked quickly, grabbed his things, locked his door and jogged up to her.

“Ari,” he called out to her as his eyes raked over the _Pink_ pajama onesie that gripped her body in all the right places.

She turned around to him, the trash bag she was holding seemed ready to burst. “Hey Erik!” she gave him a shy wave and smile that he returned.

“What’re you doing, babygirl?” He questioned, still scanning her body. She looked entirely too edible to be out here past eight wearing that body suit.

“Uh, throwing out the trash?” she said slowly as she jiggled the bag in her hand. “The shoot is broken and this shit stinks so it I had to bring it out.”

He sauntered closer to her, loving the way she unconsciously licked her full lips. He bent down and took the trash bag from her, eyes locked with hers. “Why didn’t you wait for me to get home?” He walked past her towards the dumpster and she followed.

“Because I’m perfectly capable of taking out my own trash, didn’t know when you’d be home and the whole part about it smell like shit?” Aurora sassed at him and he chuckled. He loved her smart ass mouth.

“You can’t be an adult unless you’re adult sized, Princess,” he shot back. She looked like she wanted to kick him.

_Try it baby girl, I got something better I could do with them legs._

“Says the guy who just admitted to having a midget kink a few days ago,” she grumbled and Erik grinned big at her, wagging his eyebrows.

He tossed the trash in the dumpster and turned to find her rubbing her eyes slowly. She looked exhausted.

“Sleepy?” he asked as he turned her around and put his arm around her shoulders, leading her back toward the building.

She nodded and yawned as if the questioned prompted her to do so. “Yeah, I’m all tuckered out,” she sighed.

“Really, Ari?”

“What? A nigga can’t be tuckered?”

He rolled his eyes at her smiling again. “You can be whatever you want to be, girl. I ain’t stopping you.”

“Damn straight,” she asserted with a sharp nod of her head that had him smiling again.

“How was your day?” he asked as they took a right out of the parking lot.

“It was cool. I met my editing deadline two days ahead, thank you Jade!” She shook her fist in the air at her invisible best friend and he laughed loudly at her. “I went to the gym too. I’m mentally tired and physically tired.”

He lead her up the steps of their building, looking down at her with concern. “Princess..”

She scowled up at him and his tone. “Oh calm down, frown clown. I stretched after I got out the shower. Just like the doctor ordered.”

Erik shook his head at the ridiculous name remembering how silly his girl gets when she’s tired. He pushed the button for the elevator and lead her to the one that opened on their left. “Aight, you know what happened last time you didn’t. Not that I wouldn’t mind a repeat,” he teased.

Aurora’s finger paused above the button for their floor and she looked up at him, her eyes slightly glazed. She didn’t need to be lighter for him to know she was blushing. He smirked at her as he grabbed her wrist and led her finger to push down on _12._

She was still staring at him when the elevator began its ascent so he leaned down to her face, torturing himself as her white pear and cedar wood scent took over his senses for a few moments. He tucked an errant lock of hair behind her ear and admired her freckled face for a few moments. “Breathe Princess,” he whispered.

She sucked a breath through her parted lips, and snapped her head forward

 _Good girl,_ he thought.

The doors opened and he stood up straight, waiting for her to exit the cab, his eyes glued to the cute butt flap that laid cutely on her ass. He bit his lip, it would be too easy to rip it off.

“Anyway,” she said clearing her throat as the turned towards him, walking backwards to his apartment. “The Super said he’d have the shoot fixed by tomorrow but we both know that means the end of the week. So, I may need your garbage services in a few day.”

“That the only service, Princess?” He couldn’t help himself, she was entirely too cute when she got was flustered.

She groaned and pushed her hands into her eyes. “Goodnight, Erik.”

“Night, Princess,” he called. “I’ll email you the list of other services I provide. Just in case you change your mind.”

"Do you _ever_ stop?” she asked as she unlocked her door, pausing in the doorway to look at him with faux weariness in her eyes. He could see the humor shining underneath.

“For you? Never.” he winked.

“I’m going to _bed,”_ she squeaked before shutting her door.

Erik chuckled and let himself into his apartment.

Desia was right. They were crushing on each other hard. He just had to be patient.

* * *

_drop me a comment dolls. xo_


	12. Advancement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, honestly I can’t believe I’m here posting this chapter literally 8 days after posting the second interlude. I’m legit patting myself on the damn back for updating so soon. I was going through it with this chapter though you have no idea lol. Here it is, the tenth installment to my lil universe. I have…mixed emotions about this one tbh. While I’m not super proud of it, it also doesn’t feel bad? Idk, I’ll let you guys be the judge of that.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Slow goddamn Burn, use of the n word, Jade being Jade and lastly GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF SEXUAL, VERBAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE! I’m seriously not joking about this guys. There is a pretty bad flashback and I DO NOT WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE! If you can’t stomach this type of imagery please skip the whole gym section.
> 
> Suggested Listening: Got Friends (Feat. Miguel) - GoldLink; Falcon (Feat. Raury), Jaden Smith; 9 (Feat. SZA), Willow.
> 
> Poems by Rupi Kaur from The Sun and Her Flowers
> 
> Enjoy Dolls xo.

**Advancement**

Aurora sat patiently on her bed Saturday night as Kailoni and Jade rummaged through her closet in search of something for her to wear for girls’ night. They had been planning this since Tuesday when Tosha had sent a calm message requesting to see everyone at some point over the weekend which resulted in a tizzy of chatter, gifs and quickly made memes that had Aurora’s phone dying almost every two hours. They finally settled on meeting at her place at noon so they could all take the trip to Philo to visit _Navarro Winery_ together.

Which is how Aurora found herself watching two of her best friends throw random things out of her closet close to three hours before they were even supposed to be leaving.

Kailoni emerged holding an emerald green cropped sweater. “I bought this for you several months ago and I have _yet_ to see you wear it, hoe!” she snarled waving the clothing around in Ari’s face.

She plucked the item from her hand and stretched it out in front of her. Why hadn’t she worn it?

“I didn’t have any bottoms to go with it?” she gave, trying to supply a reasonable excuse for not rocking the cute top.

Jade joined them, a pair of Lucky jeans hung over her arm. She looked at the shirt in Aurora’s grip and gasped. “Oooh bitch, I have a bag _and_ a pair of Louy’s in my car that would match that _perfectly.”_ She dumped the jeans in Ari’s lap and ran from the room.

Kailoni laughed, “That girl forever having accessories in her car.”

Aurora laughed and picked up the jeans she didn’t remember buying them. “You know J. She believes she can take over the world with the right pair of heels.”

“She may not be wrong though,” Kailoni said. “You should go put that on now before she comes back with a $2,000 dress she unearthed from her back seat.”

“Ugh,” Aurora moaned and hefted herself off her perch on the bed making her way to the bathroom. “You right. Last time she came back with a dress I ate peanuts the whole night so it wouldn’t pop. I got hips unlike her ass.”

Kailoni’s giggle followed her. “I’ll be sure to let her know you said that.”

Ari playfully slammed the door on that knowing how upset her friend got anytime she mentioned her slim figure. She shimmied her way into the form fitting jeans, snorting at the “Lucky You” written inside the zipper, and pulled the sweater over her head being mindful of the perm rods in her hair. Her girls had made it a point to come over and dress her in order to make sure she wouldn’t default to her usual cozy attire.

Aurora rolled her eyes at the thought while checking her face in the mirror. Truthfully, she didn’t mind the poking and prodding her friends were putting her through. It felt like a long time since  they all got together at NV lounge, and if she had to put on a little to hang out with them she was cool with that.

A quick succession of knocks on the door was all the warning she got before Jade burst in with a few shoe boxes tucked under her arm.

“You is kah-ute, baby boo!” she exclaimed sitting the boxes on the counter and pulling out the pair on the bottom. “Try these.” Jade lifted the lid on the signature golden box and Aurora gasped. They were beautiful, the green and black colors swirled together mimicking the pattern of a peacock’s feather and the heel wasn’t as killer as she feared.

“They’re gorgeous,” Ari said, gently lifting one from the box.

Jade shrugged, She didn’t have the same appreciation for them as her friend, and pulled the other shoe out. “I used to fuck some girl who was a buyer for the them. We wore the same size. Try em on, girl.”

Aurora slid the heels on slowly, using the arm Jade offered as support. She walked around the space between her sink and her toilet to get the feel of them. They fit perfectly.

“Well, look at our little girl,” Kailoni beamed from the doorway, brushing fake tears away from the apples of her cheeks. “All grown up!”

“I know, right?” Jade smiled at Kaloni before taking the black mini leather Gucci wallet from off her shoulder. “I want this back at the end of the night, sis.”

Aurora rolled her eyes and took the bag, rubbing her fingers against it gently. “You know I don’t even use purses like that.”

“Let’s go finish this hair,” Kaybo said, pulling Ari out of the bathroom and hitting the light. The three women crowded around her vanity meticulously separating her curls, a deep hip hop beat bumping from Ari’s speaker making her roll her hips in the seat rhymically.

“Done!” Jade announced, picking up her phone. “Damn that was a lot of work! We deserve a reward, right Kaybo?”

“Mmm, what you thinkin’?” Kailoni asked Jade, turning Ari’s face towards her to check out her work. She pinched her friend’s cheek. “You so damn cute Ari, when you giving me a niece so I can spoil her?”

Aurora shook her head, dislodging her face from her friends grasp with a roll of her eyes. “You the one getting married. You give me a nephew first and I’ll think about it.”

“Whoever does what first just know, I don’t change diapers,” Jade interjected.

Kailoni rolled her eyes before looking back at Ari, “How’s therapy going?”

“It’s going,” she said with a lift of one shoulder. “Brandee says I’m making good progress but it really doesn’t feel like it sometimes.”

“Brandee?” Kaybo quoted.

“Her therapist,” Jade supplied, changing the to _Got Friends_ by GoldLink. “This my shit!”

“You’re on a first name basis with your doctor? Is that smart?” Kailoni wondered.

“I didn’t think about it that way but I’m sure it’s fine,” Ari said, getting up to admire herself in the mirror. “Anyway, I didn’t actually see her this week, she was out for a family emergency.”

“You’ll see her next week,” Jade said adjusting the bag on Aurora’s shoulder and stepping back. “Yaass bitch, lemme take a picture!”

Aurora squinted her eyes, throwing death glares at her. “Aight, but you’re using your _own_ phone this time. We will _not_ have a repeat of Wednesday!”

Jade threw her head back and laughed brightly. “Why not that shit was funny! He laughed too!”

“He? What happened Wednesday?” Kailoni asked, smirking before she even heard the story.

“ _Nothing,”_ Aurora growled, never taking her eyes off her still laughing friend.

“ _She’s_ mad because I sent a video of her doing the ‘In My Feelings” challenge to the Devil who lives down the hall.”

“ _No,_ I’m mad that you changed his name to Satan’s Asscrack and it took me a minute to figure out who he was!” Aurora argued through clenched teeth.

Kailoni choked on air. “Satan’s _Asscrack?!_

Jade shrugged, “You are what you eat. Anyway, I won’t send the picture to him, so pose bitch!”

Ari huffed lightly before dutifully popping her hip and tucking her chin the way Jade had spent what felt like hours teaching her how to perfect.

“Ok, Ari! We serving _face_ today?” Kaybo amped looking into Jade’s phone and giving a thumbs up.

Jade smiled up at her briefly. “You’re welcome, sis.”

“Are we done here?” Aurora asked, breaking her pose.

“No no wait, turn around!” Kailoni encouraged. “Take a picture of her booty. It’s cute in them jeans.”

“ _Really_ Kaybo?” Aurora whined, she hated when the two of them ganged up on her.

“ _Really_ Ari,” Kailoni mimicked back. “I gotta update your profile on Christian Mingle.”

Jade almost dropped her phone laughing.

“You know what? I don’t need this shit,” Aurora remarked walking away from the laughing pair. She needed a drink now if she had to deal with them until Tosh showed up. She glanced at the digital clock on her stove. Speaking of. “Where is Tosha?”

Her intercom system buzzed loudly through her apartment and her heartbeat immediately picked up.

 _Erik?_ She thought quickly before berating herself. She needed to stop getting so fucking excited to see him.

“I’m not sure but _that’s_ probably the wine,” Jade announced slipping on her heels and walking towards the door.

“You ordered from _Mel and Rose_ and didn’t tell anyone?” Kailoni accused.

Jade winked at her before slipping through the door. “I got your favorite. Don’t lock me out!” she yelled back before it closed.

“She better have,” Kailoni mumbled making Ari laugh.

“Why do I have a feeling we’re not going to make it to this damn winery?” she asked the taller woman.

“We probably aren’t,” Kaybo answered, opening her refrigerator to get a bottle of water when she eyed the food containers. “You meal preppin’, Ari?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Last time I checked, you couldn’t cook to save your life and it looks like there’s more than ramen and tuna in the bowls.”

“Why does _everyone_ hate on ramen so damn hard?” Aurora demanded, going over to pull out her own bottle of water.

“Because the shit is unhealthy and nasty as all fuck,” Kailoni stated uncapping her bottle.

“Good to me,” Ari assured to a groaning Kaybo.

“Who the hell let this girl buy all these damn bottles?” Tosha shouted, walking in the door behind a struggling Jade.

“She’s a grown ass woman, Tosh. We ain’t _let_ her do shit.” Aurora responded watching her bestie hobble to the kitchen, three bags on each arm.

“But aint no one help me though,” Jade glowered, out of breath.

“You had it,” Tosh said, unpacking the bags and looking at the selections.

“Jade who drinks wine before going out to drink more wine?” Ari asked, picking up the bottle of rose next to her.

“Jade does,” her oldest friend answered, grabbing wine glasses out of the cupboard next to her.

“You got my favorite,” Tosha trilled excitedly, picking up the bottle and hugging it. “I need this after the day I’ve had.”

“I thought you were off today,” Kailoni asked as everyone followed her to the coffee table with bottles and glasses. Ari threw a few pillows down for them to sit on.

Tosh kissed her teeth, “I _did_ but there was an...issue in Kuwait this morning and I had to lend my intelligence. I told those fuckers I was _not_ staying there past one though.”

The women uncorked bottles, catching up on recent news with each other. Aurora was filled with a warmth she wasn’t aware she was missing. She had really missed her friends and made a mental note to set up more outings for them. Her life was about to get hectic with the release of her next book on the horizon and she didn’t want to continue to miss out on them.

There was a knock on her door and their heads all snapped towards it.

“Oh shit Ari, you got niggas checking for you?” Tosha grinned widely making Ari roll her eyes.

“It’s probably my downstairs neighbor telling us to quiet the fuck down. You know they don’t like black people,” Ari said getting up and sauntering over to the door.

“Look, I’m really sorry Chad we’ll try to keep-” Aurora words died in her mouth. Erik stood in her doorway his signature smirk firmly in place.

“Wassup gorgeous,” he said eyeing her form fitting outfit with dark, hungry eyes. She squirmed hard wondering if she was ever going to get used to his gaze.

“Erik,” his whispered name made him smile even bigger, dimples deep in his skin.

“I was comin’ over to see if you wanted to grab some lunch with me but it sounds like you’re occupied.” He leaned further into the doorway looking at her friends huddle together around the coffee table. They were watching them with rapt attention, different degrees of shock on all of their faces. “Hey ladies.”

“Heeeeey Lucifer!” Jade called out, picking up bottles and corks. Aurora had to bite the side of her cheek to keep from screaming. “Oh, we can leave her to you if you want! Seeing as how she must’ve summoned you with a ouija board or somethin’. No need to waste all that spiritual energy. ”

Aurora whipped around to look at her best friend. _Really nigga!_ She mouthed causing Jade to grin and throw her a saucy wink.

“Oh nah, it’s cool. Trust me,” Erik answered, voice smooth and deep, completely unperturbed by Jade’s antics. Aurora turned to find him gazing at her with a look she’d yet to see from him. He reached down and ghosted his knuckles down her face. “We’re neighbors, I can always just come by some other time. Right?”

The smell of dark oak made her eyes flutter and her voice was breathier than she liked. “Yeah,” she whispered. “Neighbors.”

He leaned down closer to her and whispered, “Lata, Princess.” And he was turning back and walking toward the elevator. Aurora gave him a shy wave before the doors closed and he disappeared.

“BITCH!!” she heard Tosha yell!

She turned around, her body feeling sluggish and not from the wine. “Hmm?”

Kailoni rushed over grabbing her arms and pulling her pliant body back to over to the coffee table. “No, _hmm_. Who the fuck was that?”

“Erik,” Jade answered, smiling into her cup, eyes dancing with laughter.

“ _That_ was Erik? The same Erik you tried to say was some average nigga and a nobody when we were at NV weeks ago?” Tosha accused crossing her arms over her heavy chest.

“I didn’t _say_ he was no one!” Aurora snapped back in defense.

“No, but you definitely _acted_ like he was no one and not that fine ass nigga that just nonchalantly lit your panties on fire.” Jade chimed in again, filling everyone’s wine glasses.

Aurora huffed, “It just...wasn’t that big a deal.”

“Bitch, that nigga is _definitely_ a big deal,” Kailoni said taking the wine glass from Jade and bringing it her lips. “You gone let that nigga knock the dust off your pussy?”

Aurora promptly choked on her swallow of wine. Someone pounded her back as she coughed violently to the sound their shared laughter.

“What the fuck!” she said when she could finally breathe, turning now accusing and burning eyes to the three women in front of her. “Y’all bitches need some Jesus.”

“And you need some dick” Tosha said matter-of-factly as the other girls ‘mmmhmm’d.’

“Whatever,” Aurora said brushing at the splatter of wine on her top, thanking god they were drinking white. “I am _not_ fucking my friend.”

“Aight, bet. Just sit on that nigga face,” came Tosha’s response.

Aurora proudly did _not_ choke on her wine this time. It was a fucking near thing though.

“What!” she damn near screeched.

“Look, I’m just sayin’,” Tosha said leaning forward and sloshing the wine around in her glass. “Bitch, you a queen and as a _queen_ you need somewhere to sit right? Make that nigga’s face your throne.”

She stared blankly at the best friend. A nervous wine-induced giggle bursting out of her. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“I second that shit, bitch!” Jade said raising her glass and clinking it with a nodding Kailoni.

An imagine of Erik’s dark eyes looking up at her from between her legs manifested itself behind her eyes making her blush hard.

“And if he says no?”Aurora asked honestly after a beat.

Jade kissed her teeth and shot her look to say _you think that nigga gone say no?_ “Then he a peasant. Kick that nigga out your castle.”

There was a loud round of laughter around the table and Ari bit her lip and smiled into her glass. “Ya’ll something else, I swear.”

“Ugh, okay a bitch is hungry and borderline drunk,” Tosh announced. “Fuck that winery, let’s go get some food.”

“Rodizo?” Kaybo suggested.

Jade smirked at her. “I haven’t had my mouth stuffed with meat in awhile so, I’m down.”

Aurora grabbed the empty bottles in front of her with a face of disgust. “Why are you like this?”

“You just saying that cause you ain’t have none of that devil stick yet.”

Kaybo shot her a look, before she followed Ari into the kitchen with the wine glasses. “You so damn crude, bitch.”

“Whatever,” Jade defended. “What’s the name of this place so I can tell Kam to meet us there.”

“Oh?” Ari quiered, a demonic grin taking over her features. “We feasting with the enemy?”

“I’d be quiet bitch. I went through your text thread Beelzebub. You _do not_ want to try me.”

Aurora mimed zipping and locking her mouth, knowing her friend would out her.

“ _Good girl,”_ Jade purred.

* * *

 “ _I hope wherever you are you can see all you can see all of the stars. Constellations, I’m impatient. You are beautiful. Beautiful!”_ Aurora rapped to the upbeat tempo of _Falcon_ as she milly rocked her way through LA traffic. Her Krav playlist always got her hyped when she was going to class. She felt as though she was riding a high since Erik had taken out her trash Friday night. She licked her lips and smiled as she remembered him with that dark suit on. The flirting had been on the heavy side but she still didn’t feel uncomfortable around him. If anything she felt much more at ease with the back and forth.

He made her feel light and fuzzy and warm. Like she was wrapped in a blanket of comfort and familiarity. She found herself craving him at times.

Jade calling broke off her music and she growled as he grabbed the wheel, fishing around under her seat to where her phone fell.

“You _stay_ ruinin’ my dance sessions,” Aurora complained to her friend when she answered the phone.

“So you signed up for the book tour and ain't even fuckin’ tell me?” Jade accused annoyed and Aurora rolled her eyes.

She had pulled her agent to the side when they were leaving _M Grill_ Saturday, a fiery determination brewing in her out of nowhere.

_“So, I think I’m going to do the tour,” she reported, almost laughing at the comical shock on her friend’s face._

_“Ari, I swear to fucking_ **_god_ ** _, if this is just the liquor talking,” Kamia started, turning fully to Ari in a fighting stance._

_Aurora’s brows flew up, “What? No! I just...I’m tired of holding myself back because...of my past.” She bit her lip as she recalled Dr. Brown telling her that she needed to live her life. “I’m ready to come out of hiding.”_

_Kamia squealed and threw her arms around her, making all the other women turn to look at the exchange. “Yaaaaay! This is going to be so much fucking fun! We gon make so much money girl!”_

“Well you seemed entirely too _preoccupied_ with Kam to even talk to me at dinner,” Aurora addressed Jade on the phone remembering how the two women only had eyes for each other the whole night. She had pictures to prove it.

She scoffed, “That’s what we going with? That’s fucking lame _and_ foul as hell.”

“I was _going_ to tell you at the next meeting.”

“Yeah, sure you were. When _is_ that by the way?”

“Why don’t you ask Kamia when you see her later?” Aurora asked, smirking at the small intake of breath she could hear from the other side of the phone.

“That bitch told you!”

Aurora barked a laugh as she pulled into her parking space. “Actually, she didn’t but you just did.”

“Ugh, bye!”

Aurora laughed again as she cut the engine and grabbed her water bottle and bag from the back of the car. She strode into the gym, waving at Mara who was manning the front desk as she made her way to the locker room to drop off her things and switch her sneakers.

Ari pushed open the doors to the cool workout room on the second floor, waving to a few familiar faces before bowing to the teachers and taking her usual place on the right side of the class.

The class began with warm up as usual. Aurora wanted to smile, she didn’t feel as winded as she had when she joined a few weeks ago. She kept up with her classmates instead of feeling like a sloth running with zebras. The jumping jack, robots and mountain climbers got her blood pumping excitedly and muscles warm and loose. Everyone got into formation with Ari at the end with the white belts. She looked down at her bare waist and wondered if it was time for her to join the belting system, she didn’t see herself quitting anytime soon and it would be a great way to track her progress. She filed the thought under “things to talk to Dr. Brown about” and looked forward.

“Today, we’ll be going over self defense tactics,” Kevin announced, and Aurora’s hear gave an enthusiastic thump. This was the first self defense class she’d attended and she was eager to learn. “Please group yourself off in pairs.”

Aurora looked around for a partner when she was tapped on the shoulder by a man only slightly taller than herself. He had a kind face and slim build. “Wanna work together?” he offered.

She nodded, “Yeah that works for me. Just know, I’m new.”

He grinned at her, a boyish thing that lit up his face, laugh lines prominent around his mouth. “Me too, just signed up last week. I’m Chris.”

Aurora offered her hand with a smile of her own. “Ari.”

“Listen up,” Kevin called to get everyone’s attention and the chatter died immediately. “We’re going to be going over rear hair grabs.”

Aurora’s heart plummeted to her stomach. _No, no, no. Anything but this._ Aurora felt like she was underwater, her ears clogging and air supply cut. She missed the first half of the explanation and she rubbed a sweaty hand across her mouth forcing herself to pay attention and not vomit.

“Tracy will you help me with this?”  Kevin requested and the perky blonde bounced up to the front of the class, happy to be the center of attention. “So, when your attacker comes up behind you and grabs your hair the first thing you’re going to want to do is grab the hand that’s grabbing you.” He waited patiently for his assistant to reach back. Aurora felt icy twitch its way up her spine as she watched the silky stands dangle between his large hand. “Then you rotate your body in the direction of the arm. If you go the opposite way you’ll have no effect on your attacker.” Tracey did as instructed. “From here you’re going to stick the elbow. This will force your attacker to let go. Elbows are only made to go in one direction, so forcing it the opposite way will inflict a sharp pain and dislodge the hand holding you. Tracey, if you would.” The class watched as she struck his elbow with mild force and clapped when Kevin yelled in pain. Tracey took an unnecessary bow before making her way back to her partner.

“If possible, please put your hair up into a ponytail,” Kevin instructed.

Ari clenched her fists together. It felt like a million pins and needles were flowing through her veins. Blood pounded through her ears and her vision swam for a moment. She wanted to run.

“Ari?” Chris called out to her and she turned her head slowly, scared if she moved to quickly she would throw up. She looked into his worried green eyes. “You ok? You’re sweating.”

She unclenched her shaking, numb hands and swallowed hard. “Yeah, I’m good.” Her smile felt as if it was going to wobble off her face. She tugged the hair tie off her wrist raised her hands to the nape of her head, collecting the hair there slowly.

 _“What did I tell you bitch?”_ Michaels voice invaded her psyche and she dropped her arms to her chest, heart thudding painfully in her chest.

“No,” she whispered.

_“I always gotta teach you a fuckin’ lesson.” He grabbed her hair forcefully, pulling her into the apartment, slamming the door behind him roughly._

She couldn’t breathe. She needed to leave. She needed to get away from here. From him.

“Ari,” Chris called again a little louder this time, walking towards her slowly. “Hey, you’re ok. Just breathe. Can you do that?”

“I-I c-can’t,” she choked. She blinked tears out of her eyes, it felt like her throat was closing, her chest caving in. “I _can’t,”_ she repeated louder.

_“You can never do anything right. Get on your fucking knees,” Michael demanded._

Ari fell to her knees, hands coming up around her throat. “Please,” she whimpered, hoarsely.

“It’s ok,” Chris told her gently, bending down next to her. “She’s having a panic attack,” he called out to the instructors.

_“You’re always fucking beggin’” Mike sneered at her, opening his belt with the hand that wasn’t tangled in her messy curls. “We’re gonna put that mouth to better fuckin’ use.”_

_Aurora looked up at him with pleading eyes, shaking her head feebly in an attempt to dislodge his grip. “I didn’t do it on purpose,” she explained. “I wasn’t trying to embarrass yo-”_

_Michael’s knuckles slapped across her face, shutting her up. “You don’t try to do shit, that’s what you always end up like_ **_this._ ** _This the only thing yo stupid ass is good for anyway. Now shut the fuck up and open ya mouth,” he growled at her, fist tightening as he pulled his semi hard dick out of his jeans._

_Ari closed her eyes tightly and opened her mouth, trying to relax her jaw for what was going to happen. Mike thrusted roughly into her, the head of his rapidly hardening dick hitting the back of her throat painfully. He held her there for a long moment and she couldn’t breathe. She moaned out pitifully, placing her hands on this thighs to get him to pull back._

_He groaned at the feel of her throat convulsing around him and pulled her back by her hair. “Move your fucking hands,” he growled out to her. Aurora dropped them into her lap, fisting her baggy sweatpants as her eyes watered. He grabbed the sides of her head, pistoning in and out of her mouth roughly, enjoying the choking and gagging sounds coming from the woman beneath him. “You wanna open your mouth and speak when you aren’t spoken to? This is what’s going to fucking happen._ **_I’m_ ** _the fuckin’ one in charge here, know your fuckin’ place, bitch. On your knees worshippin’ my dick. ”_

_Aurora forced herself to relax her tongue and breath through her nose, thick strings of spit collecting at the corners of her mouth and dribbling down her chin._

_“Look at me!” Michael bellowed and she opened her screwed up eyes to look him into his hate filled ones. “Damn baby, you look so good like this,” he moaned out, one of his hands coming down to cup at her jaw, smearing the spit around her face with his thumb. He went deeper and faster, balls slapping her chin and Aurora felt that she was close to throwing up. “You want to be Master’s fucktoy don’t you?” Mike asked, spurring himself on. “You like when I use you like a fuckin’ whore don’t you? Like when I beat you and yell at you, huh? You using me aren’t you, you perverted bitch?” he accused, his brow furrowing. “Yeah, you fuckin’ using me,” he panted, sweat collecting on his brow._

_Aurora shook her head as much as she could with his rough treatment of her head. She screwed up her face in an attempt not to close her eyes, when a rough pass against her tonsils had her pushing off him, gasping and coughing, bile rising quickly in her throat. She yelped loudly when he forced her back over to his soaked, throbbing cock._

_“Where the_ fuck _are you going?” he raged, backhanding her again before he shoved himself roughly back into her mouth, bouncing her head against him faster than before. Snot dripped down her face and her eyes rolled back into her head in pain. “Look at your stupid ass, dickmatized,” he chuckled before moaning loudly. “Fuuuuuck, baby Master bout to cum,” he announced, his hips now meeting her head in fantic, sloppy jerks. “Swallow that shit, bitch. Fuckin nasty slut. Swallow all this fuckin cum.” He grunted, pulling her mouth down to the base of his cock, her nose smashed against his stomach as his hand came down to grip himself in her throat.  Hot spurts of his salty cum shot down her throat and Aurora thrashed, scratching his thighs. He was choking her. She beat against his legs but he only chuckled as her vision got darker, head lighter and lighter._

_“Uunf,” Mike moaned, pulling out of her throat, letting her body drop to the floor. “Remember this shit the next time you open your fuckin mouth to anything besides suck my dick. Now go clean yourself up.”_

Aurora’s eyes popped open and she shot up from her prone position on a comfortable couch she’d never seen. She clutched at her sweat soaked shirt and looked around the dimly lit room. A nightmare? It had started while she was talking to Chris so that couldn’t be it. She swallowed, her throat felt like sandpaper. It was happening. She was starting to have the dreams while she was awake. She whimpered softly and tried to recount when she had fallen asleep.

“You fainted,” a male voice called, startling her. She backed herself into the corner of the couch, tucking her knees into her body as her eyes landed on Chris walking over to her with a cup of water and a coffee cake. “I carried you down here,” he smiled at her handing her the food.

She looked up at him with cautious eyes before taking the water and cake. “Where am I?”

“The employee lounge. Kev said this would be the best place to give you some privacy,” he explained. “How do you feel?”

Ari took stock of her body. Her chest and throat hurt and she felt exhausted. “Tired,” she offered.

Chris smiled gently, “It’s your blood sugar. Try to eat a little; you’ll feel better.”

Aurora broke off a tiny piece of the cake and chewed slowly. The exhaustion and mixture of embarrassment was burning quickly through her body. She wanted to ask how many people saw her episode but decided against it, knowing would probably result in her never returning and she didn’t want that.

“You have anxiety?” Chris inquired, breaking her train of thought.

She glanced up at him. “Sometimes.”

“Hmm, I used to as well,” he offered. “Right after I left my boyfriend, my anxiety was high all the time.”

Aurora looked up at him then, his face was sincere with undercurrent of understanding and she knew he knew what had happened. “What did you do to beat it?” she asked after clearing her throat.

He looked at the gently, “I wouldn’t say I’ve beaten it but I get a little better everyday.”

She nodded at that and took a swig of water followed by a large bite of the cake, feeling better by the moment. “Can I ask you what happened?” she tried. “I know you don’t know me and that’s a really personal topic but-”

Christ cut her off with a raise of his palm. “It’s fine, I don’t mind telling ifit’ll help you.” He pulled up the chair next to him and sat down, feet spread open and palms resting on his thighs, sighing and rubbing his head. “My ex boyfriend was my _first_ boyfriend,” he started with a rueful twist to his lips. “I wasn’t really ready to come out to my folks yet, so we pretended to be friends and then roomates through college. He was a great guy at first, loyal, funny, understanding, loving, but something in him…. _changed.”_ Aurora gulped hard at the apprehensive change in the man’s face. “He started using drugs. I...probably should have left him at that point but I was in love with him and wanted to help him. He asked me how I was going to help _him_ when I couldn’t _myself._ Started using me for money to help his addiction, hanging the fear of being outed to my family over my head.” Chris huffed a pitiful laugh. “It was a mess.”

Aurora felt tears prickling the back of her eyes. “How did you get away from him?”

“I talked to my family and friends. Told them the truth,” he dragged his hand across his mouth. “Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my _life._ But, they all accepted me. I went back to the apartment when I knew he’d be too strung out on coke to do anything, grabbed my shit and left.”

“He didn’t follow you? You weren’t scared he would find you?”

Chris blinked at her a few times before he came over to the couch, sitting down next to her and grabbing her hand. “I was. Everyday I would leave the house looking over my shoulder for his disgusting oily head but he never came. My friends and family protected me too, ensuring that I blocked his number and cut all ties I had with him. My dad was my biggest support system, he wanted to go over and beat my ex’s ass and I almost _let_ him,” Chris admitted and Ari chuckled gently at the faux angry scowl on his face. She liked Chris. “What about you, honey?”

Aurora blew out a harsh breath and sat the cake on the seat next to her. “My ex was an abusive asshole who isolated me from my friends and family. He even forced me to quit my job as a geologist.”

“Did you leave him?” Chris questioned.

Aurora shook her head slowly and pulled her hands from his to cover her face, she was not going to let her mind go back to that night. “No, I couldn't. I’m not strong like you.”

“That’s bullshit,” Chris said softly lifting her hands from her face, leaning down to look into her eyes. “You’re here, living your life, moving forward, smiling that beautiful smile I’ve seen in class whenever you do something right. That’s a testament to how strong you are. Everyday that you wake and get out of bed shows your strength. Don’t let him take that away from you too.”

She smiled at him, “Thank you. You didn’t have to share that so thanks.”

“Anytime girly. You’re gonna come back to class right?”

She nodded her head. “Yeah, I gotta continue being strong like me.”

* * *

 Aurora drained the last bit of her kopili assam tea, closing her beat up copy of _The Alchemist_ before stuffing it in her bag. She got up from her beloved purple chair near the windows and stretched big and long, her back popping in a few sections when she bent over to collect her belongings and put her headphones in.

“Heading out?” Jaden called over to her from his spot in front of the cake display, a soapy rag in his hand. She smiled over at him, picking up her empty plate and mug to take to the counter.

“Yeah I think I’ve been in your hair long enough, kid.” She had walked over to _Joe’s_ after parking her car in the lot of her building. She looked at the door to the apartment before she took a heeled turn in the opposite direction. She knew cooping herself up in her room wasn’t the healthiest choice, so she put her phone on do not disturb and took the eleven minute walk to her beloved cafe. She’d started rereading her favorite book and hadn’t noticed how late it was until she looked up to sky, slightly mesmerized by the way the deep indigo of nighttime chased the cotton candy colors of the setting sun.

“Awh, Ari stop calling me kid. You’re only like eight years older than me.” Jaden complained, putting the rag back in his small bucket and taking the plate and mug from her. “We could go on a date and it’d be completely legal you know,” he added smiling at her. He was such a cutie.

“Oh yeah? And then what would you tell MJ? I know you guys started dating. You put up that sappy picture of the two of you the other day,” Aurora teased. Michelle was the moody girl that had caught Jaden’s eye when she walked in one Saturday afternoon wearing a ripped band tee, her skinny jeans stuffed into a pair of old Doc Martens, and ordered a double espresso.

“You saw that huh?” he asked, scratching at his pink hair. “I’d leave her if it meant dating you though,” he tried and Ari rolled her eyes, ruffling his hair playfully before turning to leave.

“Good _night_ Jaden,” she called back turning up the music in her earbuds to drown out is exasperated squeaking. She hummed along to _9_ by Willow as she checked her phone for the texts she missed. The group chat had been blowing up due to Kailoni showing off a picture of the engravement at the bottom of her wedding shoes. She “liked the image” before backing out and hesitantly clicking on Erik’s name. She had a few new messages from him.

  
She rolled her lips as she read, hearing the concerned edge to his words, but she didn’t have the emotional capacity to see him without breaking down in front of him.

Aurora texted him back that she was tired and not in the best of moods but promised to see him the next day. She stuffed her phone back into her pocket and looked at the flowers blooming on the trees, illuminated by the street lights popping on in front her as if they were lighting the trail back home for her. Chris’ words rolled around in her head again. She knew she would have to start talking to someone who wasn’t Dr. Brown soon.  

She bent the corner, wading through a swarm of fireflies. She should call her mom soon. They hadn’t talked for a few weeks as she was out of the country visiting a cousin in Toulouse. Ari was sad she couldn’t make the trip with her this year, but her mother understood her work demand.

She pulled her headphones out as she entered the elevator telling Siri to remind her to call her early next week.

The rhythmic sound of drums filled her ears as soon as the elevator doors opened, slow deliberate and sensual. She stepped out into the hallway quietly, not wanting to disturb the musician and closed her eyes. It sounded like a lullaby. She took her the same place she’d taken the last time, sliding down the wall between his door and her own and listened, all the tension she felt in her body melting with each tender beat. She smiled softly overwhelmed with the need to cry. She welcomed the tears this time as they sprung over her cheeks, feeling like her soul was cleansing being replaced with the magic of the lilting cadence. She sniffed, wiping her nose on the back of her sweater. She regretted telling him she would see him tomorrow. She wanted nothing more than to have him pillow her against his chest and tell her that everything was going to be alright. That he’d never leave. That this song that they’d slowly been orchestrating together would last lifetimes longer than their own.

Aurora pulled up the notes app in her phone, creating a new document and let the beat take her away.

 

_how do i welcome in kindness_

_when i have only practiced_

_spreading my legs for the terrifying_

_what am i to do with you_

_If my idea of love is violence_

_but you are sweet_

_if your concept of passion is eye contact_

_but mine is rage_

_how can i call this intimacy_

_if i crave sharp edges_

_bur your edges arent even edges_

_they are soft landings_

_how do i teach myself_

_to accept a healthy love_

_Ii all ive ever known is pain_

 

Ari clicked her phone closed at the last beat of his hand and closed her eyes. She wiped away her tears and opened determined eyes. She wasn’t done working on herself. Tomorrow was a new day and she was going to be a new woman.

* * *

 Aurora squirmed uncomfortably in her seat as she tore the damp napkin in her hands into careful even pieces. The sound of Dr. Brown’s pencil scratching in the background driving her towards a kind of insanity only seen in melodramatic psychological thrillers. She glanced up at the woman through wet lashes silently _begging_ her to speak after she had laid out every graphic detail of her panic attack the day before. Dr. Brown cleared her throat before pulling off her glasses in an agitated manner. She had gotten more and more wound up as Ari had told her to story and the younger woman was starting to think she had said something wrong.

“This dream, this flashback,” her therapist finally spoke after a few moments staring ahead unseeingly, “this was an _actual_ event that took place?”

Aurora bowed her head even deeper into her chest and nodded. “Yeah, it happened when I paid for something at a store when his card got declined,” she offered, still ripping the tissue to shreds.

“He was upset you paid.”

Aurora nodded her head to the statement. “Pissed.” The silence that followed felt calculative, as if the doctor was waiting for more information.

“Did you finish the book I gave you?” Dr. Brown asked a few moments after, pushing her glasses back up her face and laying down her pencil.

Ari shook her head. “Almost.”

Brandee nodded. “Have you read the section on sexual abuse yet?”

Aurora stiffened in her seat, that was the section she had been _avoiding_ at all costs. “No.”

Her therapist made a small noise of understanding before getting up and rounding her desk. She propped her hip against, picking up a copy of the book she had given Aurora from almost nowhere. “You should, it will probably be very enlightening.” When Ari didn’t answer she pressed on. “In the words of my daughter’s and admittedly _my_ favorite teacher: ‘Everything is sex, except sex. Which is power.’”

Aurora furrowed her brows, looking up at the doctor’s patient face. “That’s a lyric by Janelle Monae,” she stated slowly.

“It is,” Brandee said simply.

“But she’s _not_ a teacher.”

“She isn’t one in a literal sense, no. But that doesn’t mean she can’t teach. People learn through music all the time, but that isn’t the point. What I’m trying to tell you is that what Michael did to you was not about sex, but was another way from him to exert his _power_ over you.”

Aurora could actually see that. “He said he wanted to teach me a lesson.”

“Yes, that you belonged on your knees beneath him. That he _owned_ you,” Dr. Brown paused. “Michael didn’t love you, Ari.”

Aurora eyes flew to her face, tears quickly filling her eyes. “H-he..didn't?”

Dr. Brown shook her head emphatically. “No, Ari. He loved using you. Breaking you down until you were a shell of the woman I see before me. He loved the _power_ he had over you. He loved how you made _him_ feel. But not you.”

Aurora felt like her heart was breaking in two. The thought that he’d loved her, even in his own warped, fucked up way was all that had ever kept her going and sane.

“Ari, breathe,” Brandee whispered and Aurora took a deep hiccuping breath. “I know that’s hard to hear. But would it have made it better? If he loved you, would that have made the trauma livable?”

 _No, it wouldn’t_ her mind whispered. “No,” she blubbered through the sobs threatening her.

“Exactly,” Dr. Brown pointed out. “You need to let him go Aurora. There’s still a part of you that refuses to talk about him and the abuse he put you through because you lose the positive image of him that you still have of him in your mind. He isn’t that person anymore Ari, he never was.”

Aurora looked at her therapist in disbelief. “But he _did_ love me.”

The older woman shook her head, bending down in front of her. “No, sweetheart. Your friends love you, you family, even your neighbor. They are shining examples of people who _love_ and care for you. What you experienced with Michael was not that.”  She put a hand on her shoulder. “I want you to spend some time with those people over the next few days and pay attention to the ways they show you they love you. Compare that to all of your experiences with your ex. Then I want you to sit down and finish the book before our session next week. Can you do that?”

“I think I can,” she offered.

“Good. Let your friends show you what true love is. Letting go of your past will be so much easier when you realize all that you still have.”

* * *

 Ari killed the engine and laid her head gently on the steering wheel feeling hollow and waterlogged. She didn’t have the energy to move or feel or _be_ after the session with Doc Brown. She had always known deep within her heart that Mike didn’t love her, but to have it laid out in front of her so bluntly had rocked her in a way she hadn’t anticipated. She needed to go somewhere and regroup, get her thoughts together and come to terms with her new truth.

She sighed before rubbing her sore face before exiting the car, eyes on the ground as she walked up to the building. She stopped when a familiar pair of 11s came into view, following the pair of toned legs up and up and until she got to his handsome, worried face.

“Hey,” she said weakly, pulling her arm out of her hoodie pocket to wave.

“Sup?” he asked taking a step towards her, his mouth pulling even further down in the corner. “You look beat.”

She leaned into the hand that came up to caress her face. “Yeah, it’s been a pretty shitty two days,” she admitted.

“Wanna take a walk with me and tell me about it?” Erik offered.

It was a tempting proposition but she wasn’t sure she could talk anymore about it. “I’m not really in the mood to talk, E.”

“Ok,” he relented. “Maybe you could listen to me while you eat ice cream?”

Aurora perked up at the mention of one of her favorite confections. “Why didn’t you just _say_ there was ice cream involved?” She swept an arm out, “Lead the way my man.”

“Wow, I thought my company would be enough but I see how it is,” Erik joked, turning down the street, looking back to make sure she followed.

“That’s just a bonus to ice cream, honestly,” she jested back, bumping shoulders with him. “How was your day?”

“It was good, spent the whole damn day in meetings but I started planning my friend’s birthday,” he told her, staying close enough that his warmth chased away the slight chill in the air as nighttime fell upon them.

“Birthday party? You inviting me? Will there be candy?”

His deep chuckled made her smile, the heavy feeling leaving her shoulders. “Yeah you can come. My friend wouldn’t mind meeting you.” He glanced over at her out the side of his eye. “You know what? I take that back. Y’all don’t need to meet.”

“Fuck is _that_ supposed to mean, Stevens?” she quaked in playful anger. “Everyone loves me.”

Erik snorted at her proclamation. “Yeah, that’s probably true, which is why you don’t need to meet her. I don’t need you two midgets ganging up on me.”

Aurora leered at him. “You’re paying for the ice cream for that.”

“Already was, Princess.” He grabbed her hand, startling her for a moment, leading her across the street to _Utterly Delicious._

“Ok, I’ve lived here for much longer than you and I _never_ noticed this. What the hell?”

Erik opened the door for her, “Guess you aren’t paying attention to the things in front of you.”

Ari swallowed around the emotions his gaze stirred in her before sliding past him. Her eyes darted to the menu painted on the walls above the counter, ignoring the heat at her back when he came to join her.

“Hey y’all,” a plump woman with terra cotta skin and an impressive afro greeted.

“Hi,” Aurora smiled at the woman’s exuberance, her aura inviting and warm. “Can I have the warm brownie sundae?” she requested immediately as the picture on the wall made her mouth water.

“That’s my favorite,” the woman crooned looking like she wanted to clap her hands before she turned to Erik. “And you, suga?”

“We’ll share,” Erik decide, putting a warm hand on Aurora’s shoulder.

“What?” she exclaimed looking at him.

“Perfect!” the cashier said, ignoring Aurora's protest. “One spoon or two?”

“Two!” Ari nearly yelled. Erik put a hand over his mouth to stifle his laugh and the woman blinked at her a few times.

“Oh...kay,” she said slowly. “You can have a seat and I’ll bring it over momentarily.”

Ari turned and picked a booth in the back of nearly empty shoppe.

“Something wrong with sharing a spoon?” Erik questioned, lifting a challenging brow when he slid across from her.

“I don’t know what you’ve been doing with that mouth of yours.” Aurora sniffed, looking at the coloring pad on the table in front of her, grabbing a purple crayon next to her.

“Well, the last person I kissed was you so maybe you need to ask yourself that question.”

She looked up at him to find him coloring his own mat calmly, green taking over most of his page. “Really?”

He nodded his head, stealing the purple crayon out of her hand. “Yeah.”

She breathed a lame “oh” before she grabbed a new color, coloring the sky above the cartoon barn a intense mixture of red and orange. They stayed that way for a few minutes, quietly coloring, swapping crayons with one another. Ari held up her picture with a proud smile plastered on her face.

“Nice,” Erik said, picking up his own and presenting it to her.

“Wow,” she breathed, taking the page from him. The swirl of purples, blue and greens reminded her the sky’s in Alaska. “Aurora borealis,” she whispered.

“Wakanda,” he corrected, taking a sip of the water the waitress had dropped off moments before.

“There’s views like _this_ in Africa?” she challenged, turning the page back towards him.

He nodded slowly, his eyes looking far away for a moment before he focused back in on her face. “Yeah, some parts.”

“That’s insane,” she remarked.

“Here you go guys. One warm brownie sundae with _two_ spoons.”

Ari felt her cheeks heat at the pointed look she was given. She scooped a big gooey bite of warm brownie and cold ice cream, humming delightfully when it hit her tongue. Her eyes fluttered closed. “Soo gud,” she hummed.

“Yeah, this shit is rockin’,” Erik agreed.

They ate in relative silence, the sounds of their spoons scraping the plate and appreciative moans filling in for the lack of conversation. She thought back to what felt like eons ago where they were having an awkward conversation in her kitchen. It felt like years and not a few weeks. Something about that night kept popping up in her mind.

“How did you know?” she asked suddenly, licking whipped cream off her knuckle.

Erik looked at her intently. “Know what?”

“That I was repeating what someone else told me?”

He put his spoon down and wiped his mouth on a napkin before he sat back in his chair. “Was I right?”

Aurora picked up the cherry she had commandeered from his side of the plate. “Yeah,” she acknowledged, biting the fruit off its stem before pointing it at him. “But that doesn’t answer my question.”

Erik smirked at her but shrugged, offering no extra information. Aurora huffed at his smile, crossing her arms over her chest in a way that showed she was done if he wasn’t going to cooperate. He chuckled at her childish behavior. “I work with kids, mostly troubled youths. I can read body language and yours was really similar to kids who repeat something a parent told them.”

She ignored the bit about him comparing her to a “troubled youth” for the other information he had given. “You work with kids?” She was further impressed by him. Men with kids were her _weakness._

He smirked and rolled his eyes as if he could read her mind. “Focus, babygirl.”

“Fine!” she blurted and threw her hands in the air, making him laugh again. She looked down at their crossed ankles under the table, not remembering them doing it but not minding. She felt comfortable as usual.

“You ready to talk about it?” Erik asked hesitantly.

She looked up into his face, her own apprehension playing across her features. “No, not really.” she hefted a huge sigh and rubbed at her eyes. “But I need to talk to someone.”

“I’ll listen to whatever youre willing to share.”

Her heart constricted in her chest at his genuine tone. “You sure? It’s some dark ass shit. I wouldn’t want to chase you away.” She made ghastly gestures with her hands, pretending to be a spectre and Erik flashed his slugs at her.

“You couldn’t scare me away, Princess.”

She sat back in her seat and studied him. His posture was patient and face open. She knew if she backed out now he would let her. He was letting her control the situation and part of her wanted to take advantage and chicken out the way she normally did. The larger part of her, however, needed him to know. She wanted to test his resolve and see if he would indeed stay with her.

“I was in a toxic relationship for nearly six years.”

His face didn’t change. “Yeah?”

She rubbed lips together and nodded before remembering he liked hearing her voice. “Yeah, it was….pretty fucked up.”

Erik’s eyes turned sharp. “He still in your life?”

Aurora let out a pained snort of laughter, waving her hand in a negative gesture in front of her. “No, I haven’t seen him in close to two years.”

“Did you press charges?” Erik probed, sitting up further in his seat and clasping his hands together.

“No,” Ari whispered out. “I..didn’t want my friends to know how bad it was.”

He tilted his head, studying her again. “They still don’t know,” his perceptiveness peeked through.

She rubbed at her arms. “I’m too scared to tell them,” she confessed. She hadn’t even told Dr. Brown that yet.

He nodded his head and laid his hand down in the center of the table, palm up. Aurora immediately set her’s in his.  

“When you do tell them, I can be with you. If you want.”

“Yeah?” she smiled.

“Yeah. I know how tough it can be to talk to the people you love about the dark shit in your past. I can support you, but you have to let me in, too.”

She blew out a breath and moved her hair behind her ears. “I know, I’m trying.”

“Ok,” he whispered to her, rubbing his thumb soothingly across her knuckles. “Now, Im going to get a milkshake because your fatass ate the entire brownie,” he winked and Aurora threw her napkin at his face.

“I _did not!”_ she exclaimed.

“Sure you didn’t, Princess,” he laughed, sliding out of the booth.

“Get strawberry so I can have a sip!”

He turned to her shaking his head. “Ok but we gettin’ two straws cause I don’t know where you mouth’s been.”

She pouted at him then. “Ass.”

* * *

_drop me a comment dolls. xo_


	13. Slowly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey y’all! Welcome back to my channel. Here it’s the next installment of my lil fic here. I’ve had this idea buzzing around in my head since I wrote chapter 10 and I’m super excited to share it with you. Please don’t get mad at the ending…the next part will be out well before you expect it to be lol.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: sLoW bUrN!!! Mention of past physical, emotional, sexual and psychological abuse (it wont be too bad this time guys), FLUFFY AHOY and copious use of the “n” word.
> 
> Suggested Listening: Sunday Vibes - Masego; I Put a Spell On You - Nina Simone; Tell Me - Sabrina Claudio

# Slowly

# 

(Poems by k.y. robinson from  _the chaos of longing)_

Death was never something you trifle with. It wasn’t comical, poetic or romantic like the great artists of time attempted to convey it. However, it was also not as daunting as most people believed it to be. It was part of the cycle of life, as normal as the sun, the grass, and the oceans. It was to be respected in its place in human lives and not laughed at or mocked in any capacity.

Which is why Aurora felt terrible as she watched the man next to her stare at the screen with a bewildered expression; his brows furrowed deeply, mouth formed in a sad but enticing pout. But it was his eyes that blazed with the fire of annoyance that had Aurora pulling her lip through her teeth to contain her mirth.

“That’s it?” Erik questioned, turning to look at her with the same exasperated face. “This nigga just killed himself?”

Aurora tucked her hand under her chin and rested her elbow on her knee. Two fingers came up to push into her lips to stop the bubble of laughter she could feel in her chest from exploding passed them. The final ending theme song of _Death Note_ played ominously around them. It’s melody just seemed to anger the handsome man further.

Erik’s face darkened further before he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. “So, let me get this shit fucking straight, “ he started before pointing a sharp hand at the screen, fingers as straight as knives. “ _This_ nigga did all this shit, setup this whole plan, got my nigga L _killed_ all so he could off himself at the end?”

She shrugged a shoulder at the agitated man, her smile breaking free. “It sho looks that way to me.”

“Man fuck this,” Erik huffed, getting off the couch. “What studio made this shit? I’m not supporting this garbage.”

Aurora broke out in peels of laughter. “You sound a like an old white lady who wants to speak with the manager,” she giggled. “You gonna write a strongly worded letter, Stevens?”

He rolled his eyes at her, “You think this shit real funny, huh? This payback for _One Punch Man_? Keep it up, Princess. I won’t help you with the dishes.”

She stopped laughing immediately, her eyes going wide. He actually looked like he _meant_ it. Her kitchen was a mess, as per usual whenever he stopped by, and she was not looking forward to cleaning it, let alone by herself. “Wow, okay cranky pants.” That got him to smile.

“I see ya ass not laughing now,” he stated with a triumphant smirk on his face. “Man, turn that shit off, it’s irking me.” He stomped off in the direction of the messy kitchen, picking up and cleaning off plates and cutlery. She grinned at him before turning off her PS4 and gathering the remaining dishes off the coffee table. It dawned on her then. How many times had he come over to her place with food and his company since he’d moved in, yet she was never bored? She looked forward to these nights more and more the further they got into their friendship.

Ari looked up to find Erik looking into the pots on the stove with hungry eyes and smirked. She had finally cooked _him_ a meal, coconut curry chicken and roti. She had perfected it over the last few weeks and wanted to show off for him a little. She walked over to the stove, noting the way he backed up from the pot with a lick of his lips. “There’s still two servings in here. I’ll pack you some for lunch tomorrow.”

“Cool,” Erik said and Aurora could’ve sworn he was being a little timid; his smile holding this the tiniest bit of shyness. She pressed her lips together to stifle another giggle.

“You gonna admit it?” she asked smugly, reaching into the cabinet below her and pulling out two small pyrex dishes and their respective tops.

“Admit what, Princess?” Erik questioned, as he took the lid for the pot from her and began to clean it with too much enthusiasm. She bit her lip, he was trying to distract her with the nickname.

It _almost_ worked.

“Admit that dinner was the shit,” she pressed on as she filled the two containers with the food, before adding roti to ziplock bags and sealing them for freshness.

He sighed gently and shook his head but Aurora could see the dimples deepening in his face. She poked him in the side causing him to shimmy away from her with a loud “Aye!”

“C’mon, admit it, shorty. Dinner was the shit and so am I.”

“Oh, so you just tackin’ shit on at the end there, huh?”

Aurora didn’t let up, the giddiness of the situation had her head feeling almost as light as he heart. She gave him a toothy smile, her eyes crinkling to the point of near blindness. “Say, ‘Dinner was the shit, Aurora is a better chef, and I’m not worthy to be in her presence.’”

Erik flicked water at her making her screech in surprise.

“Hey, what the fuck!” Her hand immediately shot to her coils, rubbing the suds out furiously with a glare in his direction that didn’t hold any fire in it.

“You was gettin’ real hot headed there, Princess,” he said splashing more water at her as she wiped her face with her sleeve, chuckling deeply when her growl became more high pitched. “You need to cool down, girl.”

“Ugh! Would you cut it _out!”_ she screamed when he plucked more water at her from his wet fingertips. She turned her back to him and wiped the last droplets off of her face. “Act your fuckin’ age, not your goddamn shoe size.” His answering laugh rung out in the kitchen and she tamped down on the butterflies that fluttered through her at the sound. He was an _ass._ He didn’t deserve her nerves. She pulled her arm from her face once she was satisfied it was dry, the image of a terribly made puppet on the television sparking a memory from earlier in the week.

_“Ugh, I’m so full. I ate too fast,” Jade complained, rubbing at the flat surface of her tummy slowly with a grimace on her face._

_Aurora snorted, looking over at her and then at the empty box where her Hawaiian pizza once was. “That’s what you get. Pineapple on pizza is of the devil.”_

_Jade smirked at her before picking up her wine glass. “You would know since you’ve been hanging around with him recently. How is the Fallen Angel anyway?”_

_“Really J? We still goin’ on about this?” Aurora asked as she picked off a piece of pepperoni and added to the pile on the corner of her plate. She would eat them last as usual._

_“What?” Jade shrugged before throwing back the last of her wine. “I’m just using his proper title. Want some more wine? I have one that goes well with pepperoni.”_

_“Yes please, your boujeeness.” Aurora snarked, handing her best friend her empty glass._

_Jade snatched it. “It’s not my fault you aren’t cultured enough to know better.”_

_Ari rolled her eyes at her bestie’s retreating form before looking back at the television where the trailer for Happytime Murders played. “We should go see this!” she called back while turning up the volume of the television._

_Jade groaned, “Hell no, that looks like that_ Crank Yankers _bullshit you used to watch.”_

 _“It_ **_is_ ** _like_ Crank Yankers _.”_

_“So, again, no. I’m good,” Jade announced as she rounded the couch with the two wine glasses, the bottle tucked under her arm. She handed Aurora hers. “I’m not wasting my time on that low brow humor.”_

_Aurora lifted her eyebrow as she brought the glass to her lips. “You_ **_are_ ** _low brow humor, bitch.”_

_Jade gave her the finger as she watched the other woman moan around a swallow of the cool wine. “I told yo ass it was good. And why don’t you ask the Mayor of Hell, since yall BFFs and shit now? He look like he’d be into that trash.”_

_“You soundin’ real jelly over there, J.” Aurora smirked at her oldest friend, knowing she wasn’t used to being the second choice. But she had Kamia now. The two were almost joined at the hip. Her editor sure did have a lot of “business meetings” recently with the woman she couldn’t stand. Aurora’s grin got bigger. She’d pocket that bit for later._

_Jade scoffed and turned the channel to_ Love and Basketball. _“You so right, sis. I’ve never had forked tongue in my nani before. You have_ **_got_ ** _to tell me what that’s like.”_

_Aurora smacked her in the face with a throw pillow._

“You doin’ anything Wednesday night?” Aurora found herself asking as she turned back to the stove to find that Erik had taken the pot off and cleaned it while she had zoned out.

“Depends,” he said as he passed her a clean bowl.

“On?” she asked, picking up the dish towel that was hung around her oven handle. Doing dishes with him, another normality between them. She smiled softly.

“Who’s asking,” he smirked at her.

She shook her head at him. He could be such a dick sometimes. “Nevermind then.”

“Wow, you gave up that easy huh, ma?” He chuckled, hip checking her lightly. “You were asking me on a date, Princess?”

“No!” she said too quickly, the silverware he passed her, almost slipped from her hand before she caught it.

 _Aaaaaand queue the blush,_ she thought bitterly.

He paused his ministrations, looking at her skeptically. “Something wrong with going on a date with me?”

“N-no,” she stuttered, searching his serious expression. “We’re just not like that?”

He turned more towards her, his face unreadable now, all his emotions carefully shuttered away. “Then what are we like, Aurora?”

“I don’t know,” she said hesitated, his use of her full name tripping her up. Jade’s words swam to her mind: _Since yall BFFs and shit now._ “Best friends?”

The clouds that were swimming in his eyes cleared as slowly as the grin that replaced them. “Oh, so we’re best friends now?”

“I thought we were?” Now that she’s said it out loud, she really knows how true the statement was. Erik was now as prominent a fixture in her life as her other three friends. He made her forget her cares like they did, cared for her like they did. Maybe more so in some ways.

“Okay, best friends,” he proclaimed. “I won't be here Wednesday though.”

“Really nigga!” Aurora got hot quickly, fickle anger gurgling inside of her. “You did _all that_ and yo bum ass ain’t even gone be here? You so damn aggy.”

“Damn, you must’ve really wanted to hang out with a nigga if you this mad, Princess.” He said splashing her with water again. “Want me to cancel my business trip? You can have me from Tuesday to Friday if you want.”

She glared at him through her wet lashes. The idea of being with him for that many days was _very_ appealing. “I don’t even want your ass here _now_ so no, I’ll pass.”

Erik huffed a laugh. “Keep lying to yourself, baby.” She shivered at the endearment. “What you wanted do anyway?”

She blinked up at him, before licking her suddenly dry lips. _What did she want to do with him? Plenty._ “I wanted to go see _Happytime Murders_ ,” she stammered.

Erik stopped the faucet and passed her the last cup. “That dumbass movie about the puppets? Hell naw.”

“You sound like Jade,” Ari muttered. _Party poopers._

“Bout time she said something smart. How about this, we go out Saturday when I get back. I’ll take you somewhere special?” Erik propositioned.

Somewhere special? To say that she was instantly excited would be an understatement. “Okay!” she beamed.

“Aight,” he smiled back before glancing at the clock on her stove. “Shit, I gotta go Princess. I gotta catch a flight tomorrow and ain’t shit packed.”

“Oh shit, you shoulda said something.” She followed him to the door.

“Was having too much fun,” he pulled her into a tight hug for a few moments. He let her go, his finger hooking under her chin to look into her eyes. “I’ll see you when I get back, okay?”

Aurora looked up at him with wide eyes, fighting the urge to glance down to his full mouth. “Okay.”

He smiled at her, bending down to kiss her forehead lingeringly. “Kungekudala umtshakazi,” he whispered against her brow, swiping his thumb along her chin. “Goodnight.”

She swallowed roughly as he took a step back. “Night,” she slurred, drunk off his presence. She closed the door softly, padding back to her bedroom in a daze. His foreign words repeated in her head as she showered leisurely.

She would be counting the hours until he got back.

* * *

 

Aurora sat with her legs folded underneath her in her favorite purple chair at _Joe’s_ the next day, her pen tapping on her notebook to the traphouse jazzy beat of _Sunday Vibes_ that was playing throughout the store. She nodded her head to Jaden behind the counter showing appreciation for his choice of song as she waited for her other two team members to join her for their meeting. They had scheduled it a few hours ago on the fly, Kamia stating she had some exciting news to share with them later in the day.

Aurora was looking down at the beginning of the poem in her lap, wondering if she should text Erik to see if he’d made it to Chicago safely before she frowned. She had no clue what time his flight left. Was he there already? His car had been gone when she’d left the building earlier. Not that she was paying specific attention to it.

 _You really were sis, don’t lie to yourself,_ her subconscious sneered at her.

“Ari!” a female voice broke her from her inner argument. She looked up and spotted Kamia weaving her way through the collection of mismatch tables and chairs that gave the place a rustic feel. Aurora took a moment to appreciate her business casual outfit; a cap sleeved navy blue sweater hugged her chest nicely which was paired with matching high waisted wide legged pants, her brown platform heels peeking out with every step she took. She had her long locs pulled into a cute top knot and her makeup was somehow both neutral and eye catching. She looked _good._ As per usual.

Aurora stood up to greet her friend with a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek, careful of the large portfolio tucked under her arm.

“You look nice girl. You comin’ from a meeting?”

“Going to one after this actually,” Kamia sat down in the small orange chaise next to Ari, spreading out the portfolio on the coffee table in front of them. “Which is why I called this meeting,” she glanced down at her rosegold Uniform Wares watch. “Jade should be here in a few minutes.”

Aurora quirked a delicate eyebrow at her  over her rim of her mug of cardamom tea. “Oh yeah? Anything new on that front.” She could tell by the way Kamia vibrated infinitesimally with nervous energy, the normally well put together and cool woman had to smooth her hands over her neatly pressed top more times than was normal since sitting, that there was something new.

Kamia thanked Jaden as he came over with a menu and a glass of water, taking a sip before locking eyes with Aurora. “Things are a little harder than I thought, but she’s coming around.”

“Oh? Harder?” Aurora smiled, leaning forward towards her friend and partner. “She seems pretty wrapped around your finger if you ask me.”

“She is, trust,” Kamia agreed with a wink, making Ari giggle. “She just holding out for longer than I thought. Don’t worry I got that ass though. She cracks a bit every time she sees me.”

Aurora look to the front of the store when the bell rang out signifying a patron entering. “I sure hope so,” she said waving Jade over to their table. “She needs someone to set her straight.”

“You ain’t never lied, sis,” Kamia said not bothering to look up front the papers she was pulling from the large folder when Jade made it to the table. “Nice of you to join us.”

Jade flopped down in the seat between the two women, running a hand down her exposed thighs. “Don’t act that way MiMi. You know damn well I was stuck in traffic.”

Aurora’s brows felt like they were shooting through her hair at the nickname but she kept quiet. Jade was gonna get it later.

“Right,” Kamia said finally looking up at the editor. She passed the women two neatly stacked piles of paper. Aurora felt like she could physically see her sliding her business mask in place. “Okay, so as you know Aurora has decided to go on the book tour I suggested.”

Jade slid annoyed eyes over at her best friend. “Yeah, some of us found out later than others,” she accused and Aurora rolled her eyes at her. She could never let shit go sometimes.

“Yes, well, tough noogies,” Kamia interrupted before Ari could respond. Jade snapped her head over to her to give her a menacing look. If she noticed, Kamia didn’t give Jade the satisfaction of knowing. “I’ve taken the liberty in putting together a schedule of sorts for us.”

“Wait, we’re starting already?” Aurora asked, her heart rate spiking. She wasn’t ready for this, not so soon. She wracked her brain looking for any excuse to postpone the expedited timeline. “The book isn’t even set to release yet!”

“Calm down, Ari,” Kamia said in an even tone, reaching over to rub a hand over arm placatingly. “The book is set to release in four and half weeks. We won't be going on tour until another two weeks after that the soonest. We’re just meeting to go over the particulars.”

Aurora swallowed hard and nodded, looking back down at the efficiently present information in her lap. She laced her fingers with Jade when her friend reached out to grab her hand.

“So we’ll be on tour for roughly two and a half weeks,” Kamia supplied, launching into a full presentation on cities, possible venues and budgets. Aurora looked at the page with something akin to trepediation. San Diego, San Bernardino, San Jose, San Francisco, Oakland, Bakersfield, Sacramento, Seattle, Tacoma, and Portland were all marked for visits on the map she was provided. She should have felt excitement at the thought of getting her name and art out there but the only thing she could think of was that Michael could be living in any of these locales. She had effectively waxed him from her life a few months after their breakup. When it dawned on her that he was gone for good this time. When she allowed the slight realization of the horror that was their relationship to settle over her mind like sticky tar. She never wanted to see his face again. But now, putting work out there like this? She was opening herself up to the possibility of being found.

"Ari,” Kamia’s voice brought her back to the present. The woman was bending down in front of her chair, a hand stroking a soothing pattern over her kneecap. Aurora blinked a few times, the pain in her hand calling her attention. She looked down at the tightly balled fist that held the once pristine papers and began to force her sweating fingers to loosen one by one until the papers fluttered to the floor. Her heart was beating faster than normal, a painful thud in her chest.

“Hey Ari, breathe sweetie,” Jade called out to her.

Aurora’s head snapped over to her. She opened her mouth and took a deep gasping breath, her whole body sagging on its release. “I-I’m okay,” she attempted to assure the two worried women who were giving her their undivided attention.

“You sure, honey?” Kamia questioned with a patient voice before she bit her lip, shaking her head in anger. “I should have known better. I’m pushing you too far too fast. We don’t have to do this babe. Let me call the office and cancel the meeting.”

“Wait!” Aurora exclaimed, holding out her hand to stop Kamia from looking for her phone. She was still breathing hard and her hands were shaking, but she didn’t want her to cancel. “No, please,” she paused, wiping the sweat on her lip and taking a few deep breaths.

This had been haunting her for the past week since they’d had the conversation. She had flip flopped back in forth in her decision, sometimes feeling the fear so much it caused her physical pain, but she had made up her mind. She wasn’t turning back now. “I’m not going to lie and say I’m not afraid of this - I’m fucking _terrified,”_ her voice broke on the word. “But I’m not going to _not_ do this because of it. I’m tired of being afraid. I’m tired of hiding. I want to do this.” She picked the crumpled papers off the floor, giving Jade’s hand a gentle squeeze in thanks before she let it go to smooth out the wrinkles on her thigh. “I need to do this. I gotta fucking move on. I have to live my life, because if I don’t he’s won. And I refuse to let that bitch win me over again.”

The women were silent for a while, staring at Aurora in a way that had her squirming in her seat. They looked at each other, a silent conversation that spoke clearly of how close they had become over the last few weeks.

“Aight,” Jade broke the silence. She gave Aurora a reassuring smile before turning to Kamia. “Where do we need to start?”

“The first thing we need to do is set up Ari with a Publicist and a Media Manager,” Kamia started, flipping through the pages in her pile and handing it to Aurora. “You’re going to need to create a social media platform and maybe do an interview or two just got get yourself out there.” Kamia took note of the shocked look on Aurora’s face, reading to assuage her fears. “The interview doesn’t need to be face to face but it would help your readers relate to you on a more personal level if you did.”

Aurora nodded her head at her, her knee jumping up in a down josling the paper slightly. She looked over the list of names Kamia had provided, noting that their resumes were included in the packet. Some names were highlighted in blue, she’d look at those first.

“This is a lot to take in,” Aurora smiled with forced lightness in her voice. A steaming cup of tea was slid in front of her and Ari looked up into Jaden’s worried face. “I didn’t orde-”

“It’s on the house,” Jaden said, picking up her empty mug and refilling their water.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, picking up the warm mug and taking a tentative sip. Chamomile, honey and vanilla felt like it was soothing her spirit and she took a resetting breath.

“Okay,” Jade took over. “The book is scheduled to begin circulation soon. We should have the account up and running at least two weeks before that, with clips from the interview and professional pictures taken ready at least a week before _that._ Soooo Ari you gotta make a final decision on your publicist and we need to have them interviewed by the end of _next_ week. Do you think you can make a decision by then? Only if you want to do this?”

“Yeah, I can do that, J,” Aurora assured her. She stared at the breakdown of the schedule in front of her, anxiety causing her body to haunch forward. The timeline was tight but she was secretly grateful. This would give her less time to second guess herself or talk herself out of the plan.

“Good,” Kamia beamed with an enthusiastic clap of her hands before she looked down at her watch. “Alright ladies, I gotta get going if I wanna make it to the office in time with all this traffic.”

Aurora blinked at her agent a few times, watching her gather her things. “You’re going back to the office? At this hour?” She looked at the clock on the wall, 3:38 PM.

“Oh, yeah. I have a four o’clock with them to get all of this approved.”

Jade’s mouth gaped open as she too watched the woman calmly place papers and folders back into the large envelope. “Wait, back up bitch. You haven't actually gotten any of this approved yet?”

Kamia shrugged her shoulders, sweeping an arm in Aurora’s direction. “Baby girl here was still on the fence and I wanted to make sure she still wanted to do this before I brought it to them. And besides, they’re going to say yes.”

“Oh yeah?” Jade taunted, folding her arms over her chest. “And how do you know that?”

“Because it’s me that’s asking.” She bent down giving Aurora a kiss on the cheek before dropping one on Jade’s forehead, making the woman splutter and flail comically. “See you beautiful women later.”

Aurora watched as Jade’s eyes tracked Kamia’s retreating form, using the mug in her hand to cover the smirk on her face. “You good, J?”

“Did she just?” Jade questioned, sticking a thumb in the direction of the door.

“What? Call you beautiful or kiss you? Cause yes.” Aurora broke out laughing at the incredulous look on her best friend’s face. “I don’t see a problem, honestly.”

“You _don’t_ see a problem?” Jade repeated back.

“I meaaaan,” Ari squeaked out, “did you like it?

Jade squinted her eyes, picking up her menu and flagging over Jaden. “That’s not the point.”

Aurora chuckled around a swallow of her of tea while Jade ordered her white chocolate mocha latte. “Of course it’s not, sis.” She winked at Jaden as he left.

“Anyway,” Jade interjected, pulling the conversation back to business. “Did you get a chance to look at the mock ups I brought over the day you were hanging out with the Lord of the Underworld?”

Ari rolled her eyes and sat down her nearly empty mug. She fished out the folder from her backpack, pulling out the two book cover options she had narrowed it down to. “I’m stuck between these.”

Jade took the papers from her, scanning over them before she picked her favorite. “I like the shading she did around the font on this one.”

Aurora nodded her head, she liked it too. “I think-” she was cut off by a loud buzzing coming from the bottom of her bag. She huffed out a breath, picking up and pulling out her cellphone. And promptly began to panic.

“What?” Jade asked.

“It’s Erik. He’s FaceTiming me,” Aurora screeched, the arm not holding the phone fluttering around her body; smoothing her hair, pulling on her Nasa crewneck, adjusting her jean shorts. She wasn’t expecting this and was silently kicking herself for wearing something so boyish. “Shit, what do I do?” She looked at her best friend in panic.

Jade rolled her eyes, taking her white mocha from Jaden who was watching his favorite patron a mild expression.  “You doin’ the most sis. You invited this demon into your home and now you can’t handle a FaceTime call?”

"Yeah but-” she was cut off when Jade huffed loudly, reaching over to swipe the answer button. For a few seconds Aurora felt like her heart stopped in her chest. She was frozen, mouth still agape as the call began connecting. She was quickly filled with the inexplicable urge to chuck her phone across the cafe. Or at Jade’s head. She gripped the device tightly in her hand, getting ready to turn and cuss her best friend all the way out when a deep rumbling chuckle filled her ear.

“You’re even cute when you’re angry, Princess.”

Aurora’s eyes slipped back to her phone to find Erik smiling at her. His dreads were braided back from his face, his skin looking a beautiful buttery brown against his juniper dress shirt.

“Erik,” she said in greeting, his name the only thing her mind was supplying her.

“Hey beautiful. I was just calling in to let you know that I made it here,” he said licking his lips enticingly before giving her another broad smile. Aurora’s heart clenched, he was so fucking handsome. “I may have also wanted to see your face.”

Her mouth ticked up in the corner, the beginnings of a smile that she was sure would split her face in half.

“Awwwwh, you missed us, Dante?” Jade cooed sweetly, shuffling her chair closer to Ari’s to get a peek into the phone. Aurora could see her eyebrows hike up towards her hairline in surprise when Jade’s eyes landed on him. “Well, zamn nigga! You clean up nice!”

Aurora and Erik rolled their eyes simultaneously.

“Wassup Jade. That’s what that buzzing was in the background,” Erik said with a tilt of his head. “I thought maybe Ari got stuck in a nest of gnats or some shit but it was just yo aggy ass.” He winked at Aurora.

“Nigga say wha-!”

“How was your flight, E?” Aurora interrupted Jade, turning the phone away from her affronted expression, shutting down the argument that’s been brewing on the horizon since the two of them met. Erik had called _her_ and she would be damned if Jade took up her time. They could figure that shit out later.

“It was cool, a little cramped but we made it. What’re you and Smeagol up to?”

Jade choked on her latte, spluttering into the cup causing the dark liquid to go flying around her. “Oh, wait until you back in Cali, nigga,” she threatened, getting up to get napkins from the front counter to combat the growing stain on the front of her sundress.

Aurora laughed at her retreating from. “That wasn’t nice, Erik,” she playfully chided him. She was actually happy he finally clapped back at Jade and her nonsense, but again she would stay quiet about it. _Mostly._

He shrugged, looking off camera for something in his room. Aurora began to look around too noting the intricately designed white wallpaper, black curtains and pops of silver and baby blue around him as he moved about the space. “She can’t dish it out if she can’t take the shit.”

“True,” Aurora said looking up at her friend briefly. She didn’t feel bad for Jade, she had been asking for it. “We were actually just picking out the cover for my next book.”

“Oh yeah? Need some help? I’m good with aesthetics,” he offered, grunting softly when he bent down to pick something up.

She quirked an eyebrow at him, looking at the way his lips and shoulders moved more than anything. “You ain’t slick, guy. You just want me to show you my pen name. Not gonna happen.”  He was unzipping what had to be his suitcase, pulling things out and sitting them to the side, his eyes going back to her every few seconds. “Are you going somewhere?”

His face changed at the mention of her pen name, an almost apprehensive look clouding his eyes, before he picked up a bronze blazer, slipping his wide shoulders into it one arm at a time, and picked up what sounded like keys. “Yeah, I got a meeting in an hour or so. I’m going downstairs to meet with our engineer to go over the notes before we go.”

“Wow, a meeting already? You just got there. They won’t let y’all breathe a little first?”

“As my grandma would say,” Jade pipped in, reclaiming her seat while dabbing a wet rag against her buttercream dress, “‘the devil is always busy.’”

“Grandma Reece never said that, J.” Aurora clarified, her eyes still on Erik’s smiling face, watching him exit his hotel room and walk down a brightly lit hallway, the color scheme matching closely to his room. She giggled at him making silly faces in the camera. She loved this side of him, playful and carefree. He filled her with a lightness that stayed with her even after he left.

“Yeah, well, maybe not when you were around.” Jade huffed, dropping the rag on the table.

“Uh huh,” Aurora said distractedly, she was still staring at Erik, poking her tongue at him to get him to laugh in the elevator.

“Y’all niggas is disgusting.”

“Hater,” Aurora and Erik chimed at the same time, laughing again.

“I’m still seeing you Saturday night, right?” Erik asked.

Aurora’s heart fluttered slightly at the fact that he was seeking reassurance. Part of her still couldn’t believe that they were going. It wasn’t a _date_ but the idea of getting dressed and having this beautiful man take her anywhere had her giddy like it was one.

She playfully rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah Erik, we just made the plans like a day ago. You’re old man brain forgot that quickly?”

He laughed lowly, slugs winking at her as he excited the elevator car. “Imma show you old man, Princess. Keep on talking.”

Her body gave a heavy pulse at his words.

_Show me._

"What are you smiling at, Stevens?” a distinctly feminine voice called out from his end of the line. “Who dat?”

Mind ya business, midget!” Erik grunted, looking like he was swatting away a hand.

“Uhhh, I can go if you need me to?” Aurora asked, turning the phone as if it would help her see who was standing next to him. Something akin to jealousy bloomed uncomfortably in her stomach and he scalp prickled sharply. He was with a woman?

“Wait, that’s a girl voice. Is that Ari? Is that your Princess?” The woman’s voice got closer, a small scuffle breaking out over the phone between the two.

“ _His_ Princess?” Jade parroted, leaning closer to the phone again to get a better look. Aurora tried to calm her breathing over the two words.

 _His huh?_ She thought, the green eyed monster returning to its slumber deep within her at that.  She covered her heating face with her free hand at the thought of being his. Was she? Did she want to be?

 _Is that really a question you’re proposing, sis?_ Her subconscious retorted.

“What the fuck, D?” she heard Erik growl before the camera was pointed to a beautiful woman. Her honeyed complexion popped against the color of her smart maroon blazer. She pushed her emerald glasses up her pointed nose delicately, dodging Erik’s attempts at reclaiming his phone.

"Oh, it’s a pretty girl!” The woman - Desia if Erik’s annoyed “give me the fucking phone back, Desia” was to go by - smiled brightly at Aurora, her almond eyes lighting with excitement in a beautiful way. “Hi pretty girl!” Aurora laughed at her, waving at the woman without much thought. “Awh, she’s so cute! You did a good job, Erik. Ari, ya boy here never shuts up ‘bout you. He’s always talkin’ bout ‘Ari this. Princess that.’ Smiling at his phone like a fuckin spru- hey!”

Erik snatched the phone back from his coworker, his ears noticeably red around the edges. “Sorry babygirl, we gotta go. Talk to you later.” The line disconnected.

Aurora stared at the screen until it went dark. _He never shuts up ‘bout you._ Her heart felt close to bursting. Emotions piling on top of each other so quickly the room felt like it was spinning on its axis.

“You so gone over that nigga,” Jade laughed. “You don’t even realize you’re smiling do you, sis?”

“Whatever, bitch. Here,” she placed her selection of book cover in Jade’s lap, voice purposely dry even with the smile itching around her face. “This one is the better out of the two. You were right about _something._ Congratulations.”

“I’m always right, just like I’m right about you really feeling this nigga. Deny it all you want sis, I’ve known you since we were seven, seen you with a crush before and this is? A _major_ one.” She picked up the paper, slipping it and the folder into her large Gucci tote. “Wait, what he mean y’all still on for Saturday?” Jade questioned, a smirk taking over her features. Aurora fidgeted in her seat, biting down on her lips to keep the information from bursting out of her. Jade’s eye narrowed, glinting mischievously in the ambient lighting of the store.  “You actually asked that nigga out didn’t you? I’m impressed. Who knew you had it in you?”

Ari sighed heavily and tucked her phone back into her bag, “Something like that.”

“Mmmh, told you he would want to see that muppet bullshit.”

“Actually, we’re going somewhere else,” Aurora clarified, although she still didn’t know where. She looked up at the excited, almost manic, look on her friends face. “Jade, I swear to black jesus, if you think you’re going to take over and turn this into something it’s not-.”

She scoffed, waving a dismissive hand. The mania wasn’t completely cleared from her face though. “Relax. I’ll be in Vegas for a conference.”

“Mmhmm,” Ari hummed, trying her best not to look relieved. She knew Jade; the preparation for this outing would begin today if she’d let her. Primping and priming, clothes shopping, overzealous makeup, _the sex talk_ . Aurora groaned internally. She was supremely happy Jade would be away for this. She didn’t need another “this is how you _properly_ deep throat” conversation. Ever again.

“But don’t worry sis. I’ll make sure that Tosh and Kaybo do my bidding like the good minions they are.”

Aurora stiffened. That could be _so much worse._ Kailoni’s preparation skills coupled with Tosha’s execution methods were a force to be reckoned with. She really didn't want to be on the recieving end of that shitstick. “I’m telling Tosh you called her that,” she taunted, picking up her bag and  mug to take to the front of the store.

“What? Wait, bitch I was just joking,” Jade’s fearful voice followed her. “She’ll kill me in sleep with tin foil or some shit. Stop!”

“Behave then!” Aurora called back, giving Jaden a sizeable tip for the cup of tea; winking at his cheeky grin. “Ta-ta babycakes! I’d say see you when you get back but Tosh probably won't disclose the location of your body so, have fun while you can!”

“Oh, I got something for that ass, wait on it.” Jade warned as she hurried to the door.

* * *

The timer on the oven rang out in her kitchen, scaring Aurora and making her drop her book. She scurried over to the stove and turned the rice gently, before taking the shrimp stuffed salmon out of the oven. It looked perfect and she would have whooped loudly and done some ridiculous victory dance had her mind not been reeling from the book currently sitting on her living room throw rug.

The nagging feeling akin to not doing the required homework had bugged her when she had returned home from the cafe earlier. Aurora knew that the good doctor was going to ask if she had completed her reading and she didn’t want to be on the receiving end of one of Brandee’s pointed looks again. So, after she had done her laundry, trolled Tumblr and made a trip to the corner food market for ingredients, Aurora popped the salmon in the oven and sat down to read the chapter she’d been avoiding like a black person avoids Hollister.

She had skipped over the testimonials after reading the first, the images it provoked were too much for her mind, but the technical terms were no better.

_Sexual abuse entails manipulation, coercion, verbal demands, or physical force._

Aurora pulled out a plate and began serving herself dinner, trying to ignore the fear worming around the base of her skull like maggots. She wouldn’t be overcome, not tonight. She’d save all of this energy for her session tomorrow.

Instead, Ari tried to focus on squeezing fresh lemon on her serving of fish, watching as the seeds fell into her palm. She was quickly losing the fight with the darkness that threatened her when scooped out rice, her memories tugging so viciously at her mind she was getting whiplash.  

 _“You my girl, Aurora. We’re supposed to fuck every night,”_ Mike’s voice argued in her head.

_“You want my ring, you’ll give me sex whenever I want.”_

_"Go over there and put a lil show for me. It’s the least you can do.”_

_“Look at you. You lucky I want to have sex with you at all.”_

Aurora’s plate clattered to the counter as she brought her hands to her ears, desperately trying to stop the voice in her head.

“Stop!” she shouted and the voices quieted immediately. She swiped her hand across her face, proud when she found no tears and began to clean up the food, her appetite gone completely.

The illogical part of her brain was cussing her out for reading that section of the book to begin with. Ari was very much aware of the how strong these memories were, why did she go down that road? Tug on those strings?

 _You cannot heal if you’re afraid,_ Dr. Brown’s voice invaded her mind.

Aurora felt that truly in that moment. Everyday this journey got a little easier. She continued to stumble, fall on her knees or pause on the road all together but she was learning to get up, to continue, to fight back. She wouldn't be kicked down again.

Her phone dinged from her back pocket. It was a message from Erik. She frowned and noted the time. 9:40 pm, it was so late in Chicago, nearing midnight, why was he still up? She swiped the message open.

She clicked on the photo of _The Bean,_ admiring the picturesque angle shot he had managed to get. It was so beautiful. She backed out, rereading his message before looking down at the tops to her dishes. She sighed, knowing that she needed to eat as he hadn’t anything since lunch earlier. How was he always helping her?

She typed out a quick response:

Aurora picked her discarded plate back up and dutifully added some green beans to it, not wanting to lie to Erik even if he wouldn’t know. She walked back into the living room, childishly kicking the book under her sofa as to not look at it, and turned the tv on. She ate slowly at first, letting the mind numbing episode of Family Guy distract her from the unwanted thoughts. The food was _good_ surprising her and spurring her to eat more quickly.

That night in bed, she sent a mental thanks to Erik for encouraging her halfway across the continent before rolling over and falling into a blessedly dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Did we do our homework, Ms. Greene?” Dr. Brown asked as soon as she closed the door. “I like your dress.”

“Thanks,” Aurora said, plucking at the fabric of her her grey racerback bodycon dress, her distressed denim jacket laid across her lap. “Yeah, I did the homework.” She waved the book at her therapist. “What percent of our final grade is based on this professor?”

Dr. Brown chuckled. “Someone is in a good mood today. Hopefully today’s session wont take away from that.” She flipped the page on her notepad, smoothing a hand over the clean sheet and picked up a pen. “You wanna get right into it?”

Aurora rung her hands together with a nod, she didn’t want to beat around the bush either. “I didn’t have a panic attack,” she offered and the doctor began to write. “I feel like, I started to but it didn’t happen that way.”

“Oh?” Brandee questioned. “What stopped it? Did you do a breathing exercise like the ones in your text?” she kept up the classroom jokes.

“I kinda yelled at my inner thoughts?” she explained before smirking at how silly that sounded. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“If that’s what worked then it isn’t silly at all,” the therapist said. “The mind works in mysterious ways, what works for one person may do nothing for the next. Keep listening to her heart and mind, give them what they need, even if that means yelling at something no one but you can hear.”

Aurora nodded, feeling better about the confession. “Then I heard your voice in my head. Telling me that I couldn’t heal if I was afraid. That kinda made me calm down too.”

“I’m glad I could help,” Dr. Brown joked dryly. “What about the actual materials? What triggered these thoughts?”

“I could barely make it through the testimonials, they brought up bad memories,” she said. “It was some of the definitions and explanations of situations. I started...noticing things and then the bad memories were brought up anyway.”

“And you recognized them as being bad? You didn’t blame yourself for those things?”

Aurora sat for a moment and thought. Some of the Mike had grown mad at were kind of her fault, yeah. Forgetting to do little shit he asked her to, wasting money on stupid shit when she had a job, not telling him if she was going somewhere. But other things were completely out of her control. “Not all of it, no,” she told the older woman.

Dr. Brown made some more notiations before she pulled out a manilla folder, a packet of papers inside when she flipped the lid. She tapped them together in a neat pile and Aurora grew concerned, this felt different. “Ari, I want to ask you a few questions today, to help me further understand your relationship with Michael. Is that okay?”

Aurora’s brows knit together, the doctor never really asked questions. Most sessions were spent with Ari talking and Brandee asking small questions for clarification or to steer the conversation in a certain direction. This was new. Part of her wanted to say no, she was comfortable where she was but that was selfish and she knew it.

“Do I have to answer them if I don’t want to?” Aurora asked.

“Of course not,” Dr. Brown said, but it would help me if you did.

That was fair. “Okay,” Ari said.

“Perfect,” she said with a warm smile, she seemed genuinely glad Aurora had agreed. She picked up her glasses. “First question, did Michael ever make you feel inferior to him?”

Aurora blanched in shock, looking down at her baby blue Stan Smiths for a second to digest the question. _Did he?_ That was a fucking understatement.

“I already know the answer to this question, Aurora,” Brandee called out when she didn’t answer for awhile. “I’m trying to see if you do.”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “Every chance he got it seemed, towards the end.”

“What about your feelings? Was he empathetic towards you when you were going through things?”

Aurora chuckled mirthlessly at that. “When he was in a ‘good mood’ sure. Most of the times he didn’t care about anything but himself.” She looked at her therapist then, shocked that had come out of her mouth. She had never thought of him that way, as a selfish man, not until recently and never out loud.

“You look like you’ve figured something out,” Dr. Brown said.

“Your psychoanalyzing him through me so that I understand,” Aurora pointed at her.

“Yes,” Dr. Brown admitted. “I knew from the second I read your file what kind of man Michael was. I’ve seen cases of worse NPD before. My job isn’t to sit here and feed you a bunch of technical terms and prescribe you medicine that just distracts you. My job is to make you understand what _actually_ happened to you. To help you come to terms with that you’ve gone through and move on from it.” She dropped her pen and pushed her glasses up into her silk pressed hair. “You are very capable young woman and have grown much faster than I even anticipated. I only needed to nudge you in the right direction for you to really look at what he was doing to you.”

Aurora rubbed at her knees and voiced something she had been thinking for the past week. “I think I’ve always known, but like you said before I was using a band aid technique instead of looking directly at the problem. I don’t want to do that anymore.” She straightened in her seat. “Can you tell me what you learned from his file? Even if there are a bunch of large words I don’t have a chance in understanding. I want to write them down and research them when I get home.”

“Okay,” the doctor agreed. “But I don’t want you thinking that you don’t need to come see me. We should still talk about what you find.”

Aurora nodded at that, “Of course.”

Brandee searched her face for any lies and smiled when she found nothing. “Michael has a case of NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. From what you’ve told me so far it doesn’t seem like it’s a particularly bad case but I wouldn’t know unless he was sitting in front of me. There are a few types of narcissism. His is compensatory. “ She got up, going over to her file cabinet and plucked out her file. “From the things you told me at our first session, I figured out he exaggerates his own importance, is often envious of others and feels they are envious of him, requires constant attention from others, doesn’t take criticism well, fakes self depreciation in order to gain compliments and admiration from others, believes himself to be a genius and often fantasi-”

“Whoa! Slow down Doc,” Aurora interrupted, her head spinning. “You got _all of that_ from the two hour session we had a _year ago?”_

“Yes, Ari,” she said with a patient expression. “I specialize in women who deal with abuse and, more often than not, it’s at the hands of a narcissistic abuser. They are very easy for me to spot after twelve years in the business.”

“Oh, okay,” Aurora said, her admiration for the doctor growing. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. Continue.”

“It’s quite alright, I’m glad that you’re asking questions. It means that you’re listening.” She glanced down at the phone in Aurora’s hands, watching the girl take notes. “Don’t worry about getting it all, I can give you a copy of your file if you request it. It has all this information in it.”

Aurora smiled, giving her tired thumbs a rest. “Yes please.”

Brandee chuckled at the relieved expression. “What I learned from you over that last few weeks has actually been helping me write a journal. I have been trying to show the link between narcissism and sadism.”

“Sadism?” Aurora asked sharply. “Isn’t that when men like to tie women up and torture them for their own sexual gratifications?”

“The link between sadism and BDSM has been disapproved over the last decade, Ari. Some women _like_ to be tied up and sexually tortured for their _own_ sexual gratifications. Which is honestly very healthy, if both parties involved are consenting adults, and more normal if you think.”

Ari could feel her cheeks heating up. “Noted,” she said waving her phone cheekily.

“We can touch bases on that another time, if it’s something you’re interested in” Brandee winked. “Sadism is when a person derives gratification from punishing, harming and abusing others. ‘Gratification’ here means they receive attention or admiration from these actions. Narcissist are like young children whose emotional needs aren’t met, so they do what they deem necessary to fill that void. Michael was no different.”

Aurora nodded her head, the doctor’s words reminding her of something. “Mike’s mom abandoned him when he was little and he didn’t know his father. He was sent to live with his grandparents but they disowned him when he graduated high school. He said they didn’t appreciate or want him but I’m starting to believe it may have been something else.”

“Look at you putting the picture together,” Dr. Brown said, reaching back for her notebook and scratching down the finding. “That fits very well into his personality disorder.”

Aurora looked at the doctor for a minute, a question burning in her mind. “Why me, though?”  

Dr. Brown sighed. “Because he knew you could be easily manipulated.” Aurora flinched hard in her seat. “That’s not a _bad_ thing Ari.”

Ire grew hot in her belly and she clenched her fists together, her teeth clenching tightly. “How the fuck is that not a bad thing?” she argued.

“He took advantage of you because he saw that you were a good person. A little meek yes, but he knew that you would look at him and see nothing but what he _chose_ to show you because you didn’t see the bad in anyone,” Dr. Brown explained, not at all bothered by Aurora's cooling eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with having a positive disposition in life. To view the world as a good and nurturing place because for the longest time you had no reason to see it any other way.”

Ari let the doctors words sink in. Before Michael, the worst thing to happen to her was her father passing away, and even then she was a little too young to actually know what that meant. Everything in her life went positively. High school, making friends, her first love, _most_ of college. She had no reason to see the bad in anyone because no one had showed her that side of things. And Michael had used that to his advantage.

“He used me because he knew that I would love him without question,” she stated as the truth came to her.

“Yes, Ari, he did,” Dr. Brown smiled sadly. “Because you were the one who saw the good in everyone around you, including him. He just laid the charm on thick in the beginning to really rope you in.” Dr. Brown bent down slightly to catch Ari’s eyes, a wisdom Aurora had never seen splayed openly on her face. She wanted to shy away from her expression, Dr. Brown was reading the deepest parts of her soul and Aurora was afraid of what she would see.

“You’re a forgiving woman. You took that man back countless times, even when you knew better and that’s okay. Now, you need to use that same energy to forgive yourself for what happened. None of this was your fault, you were only loving the only way you know how, with your entire heart. Stop holding on to the thought that he loved you as justification for staying. You made a mistake. We all do. How you recover from that is what really defines you as a person.”

Aurora’s lips trembled. “And if I can’t forgive myself?”

Dr. Brown smiled. “Then you let others do it for you.”

* * *

Aurora sat down on the bench inside the the locker room the next day, turning the sweating bottle of Propel in her hands restlessly. Class was set to start in the next twenty five minutes and she wanted nothing more than to dip out of the gym and go home. The embarrassment that was coursing through her was heavy and uncomfortable, throbbing around in her veins like a second heartbeat.

She dragged her fingers through the perspiration on the bottle again, wiping her face and neck in order to calm down. Her anxiety was spiking the longer she sat there, her knee jumping quickly up and down.

“Screw this,” she whispered, leaving the locker room and heading towards the stairs. She knew from experience that sitting in one spot never did anything for her nerves so she decided that doing a bit of cardio before class would help her calm down.

“Welcome back!” a familiar voice called out to her as she made her way to the stairs. She turned to find Chris coming into the gym, his bag looped around his shoulder, a smile on his face. He’s wearing a pair of crisp beige slacks and a emerald green Ralph Lauren polo, his brown shoes shined to perfection.

“Hey Chris,” Aurora said brightly, genuinely glad to see him.

“Wanna wait up for me?” he asked pointing towards the men’s locker room. “I’ll only take a few minutes and we can walk in together?”

She stepped off the stair, nodding her head. “Yeah, that’s cool.”

“Okay. Be right back,” he assured, ducking into the doorway.

Aurora opened her phone and pulled up SnapChat, admiring the two Princess Leila buns on her head. She clicked on her face and leafed through the filters, trying to find something cute but funny when she landed on one that made her look like a giraffe. She giggled for a few seconds, before making a peace sign and sticking her tongue out, making sure the KMW sign was in the background. She smiled down at it before saving it to her camera roll and sending it to the group chat.

Her finger hovers over the text message thread between her and Erik before she thinks “fuck it” and sends the picture to him as well.

“You ready?” Chris called to her and Ari looks up, noticing his Goku shirt and smiling.

“Yup,” she said, walking up the stairs with him, the anxious feeling returning to her.

“I’m glad you’re back,” Chris broke the silence, looking over at her. “I was worried when I didn’t see you the last few classes.”

Aurora gave a weak chuckle and scratched the back of her neck. “Yeah, sorry about that. I wanted to see my therapist before I came back. So I wouldn’t have another episode.”

He didn’t look surprised to hear about her seeing a therapist, no traces of judgement in his light eyes. “That makes sense,” he opened the door for her, following her inside the empty gym room. “Wanna warm up together?”

“Sure,” she agreed, taking a spot on the floor in order to stretch out her legs, not wanting to catch another charlie horse in case they were kicking again today. Chris followed, sitting down and stretching out his hamstrings like a pro. Aurora cocked her head to the side to study him, attempting to mirror his posture and technique, he was very fluid in all his motions.

“Yoga,” Chris clarified for her after switching poses easily.

“I see,” she laughed when her leg wouldn’t bend quiet far behind her as his did. “You’re really good at that.”

“I’ve been practicing for a few years now. It helps to calm my mind whenever I feel overwhelmed,” he paused and looked at her. “It also makes for some bomb ass sex positions.”

Aurora burst out laughing, bringing her hands up to cover the mouth. Chris smirked and wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“Noted,” she said when she could feel her sides again. “I might just have to look into it too.”

“Ooh girl, don’t tell me that,” He said getting up and offering his hand to help her as well. “I _will_ drag your ass out the house every Sunday evening to go with me.”

“You said that like it’s a bad thing,” she smiled at him, the thought of hanging out with him outside of the sweatbox they were standing in was appealing.

“Game on, girl,” he announced before breaking into a set of jumping jacks that Aurora joined seconds later. They shared a comfortable silence as they did sets of jumping jacks, mountain climbers, push ups and sit ups, Aurora smiling as she hadn’t lost the bit of stamina she had gained from being absent for nearly a week. They finished with a few jogging laps around the room, pausing when more students started to file in. Ari looked at the different colored belts and gis some of the others were wearing, thinking deeply about her membership and future in Krav Maga.

“I think I want to join the belting system,” she spoke out loud, looking up at into Chris’ impressed face.

“Yeah?” His question was answered by an enthusiastic nod. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently as well. I like it here, the atmosphere is good and the teachers don’t push anyone too hard while also not being lenient. I like learning at my own pace. We could go down after class and sign up together.”

“Bet,” she said before offering Chris her fist to pound, blowing it up with a comical noise when they touched knuckles.

He laughed heartily, his twinkling green eyes crinkling at the corner before Kevin called everyone’s attention to the front of the class.

Two sweaty, sore hours later Aurora got into her Dart with her brand new white belt, gi and a promise to join Chris for yoga on Sunday.

* * *

“Ahn!” Aurora bit out as she attempted to stretch out her back like the girl in the Youtube video. She was on all fours, rolling her back up and down slowly as instructed, her eyes on her laptop screen. She arched deeply, feeling the muscles in her lower lumbar bunch together, holding it for a five painful seconds, a harsh “fuck” leaving her lips as she attempted to keep breathing; Erik’s orders from the last time they did this still ringing in her ears lowly.

“And that’s all there is to it,” the white woman clapped with her annoying perky voice after two more reps. Aurora collapsed to the floor in an exhausted but relieved heap, thankful for the yoga mat she had stopped to purchase on her way home .

“Sure Becky, easy for your skinny, avocado toast headass to say,” Aurora grunted, snapping her laptop closed with unnecessary force before crawling her way to her bed. She climbed into it, sinking into her throw covers with a deep sigh. She felt around for her phone, wanting to set an alarm for the next morning, as she was meeting some of the girls for breakfast. She pulled it out from under her pillow, almost dropping it on her face.

She had an impressive array of notifications for a girl with almost no social life. She leafed through her tumblr likes and reblogs noticing the text messages that broke them up. Five in the group chat, one from Chris, and two from Erik. Her heart kicked up at his name in her notifications. She had already received an answering heart-eyed smiley emoji from the picture she had sent him earlier so her interest was definitely piqued. She checked the others first, a “see you then,” from Chris and the girls bickering over the latest episode of _Black Lightning._ She laughed at the memes sent back and forth between Tosha and Jade, noting Kamia had been added to the mix as well. She raised her eyebrow, Jade was lucky it was late. She put that tidbit of information in the “get Jade’s ass back” pile that grew larger every day.

Aurora closed the chat after liking a few of the messages, not having caught up on that episode herself. Maybe she’d watch it tomorrow while she had an open schedule..

Aurora opened Erik’s text, eager to hear from him, and was greeted with looked like _miles_ of scarred skin.

She squeaked loudly, closing the phone and tossing it against the Totoro plushie at the foot of her bed.

 _A dick pic?_ she thought in mild annoyance that was soon eclipsed by curiosity and then excitement the longer she stared her phone. Erik didn’t strike her as the type to send one unless it was explicitly requested...but she could be giving him too much credit? She scooted down the bed, picking up her phone with a hard swallow before she recalled something. There were scars in the picture. Did he have those scars _everywhere?_

“No fuckin’ way,” she whispered, using her thumb to unlock the screen. She held her breath as the image appeared, fighting the urge to cover her eyes. It was _not_ a dick picture.

It was much worse.  

Erik was laying his hotel bed, a lovely view of a storm raging outside of his window was what _should_ have been the focal point of the shot. But Aurora could give two shits about frozen water. The plains of Erik’s bare chest and prominent cobbled stomach were illuminated by the light bouncing off the heavy snow outside. His left hand gripped at the stark white sheet that was pulled loosely across his hips, tugging it down lowly so that the “v” of his waist was in full view. The she sheet itself left _little_ to the imagination, his rounded  hip bones and the strong muscles of his legs were easily seen with just the swiftest glance. Ari licked her lips, shamelessly zooming in on the image, she could just make out the length of him pressed against his parted right thigh, thick and inviting. Her core throbbed and she sank her teeth into her lip, pinching the screen back to look at the rest of the room. She forced herself to take in other details, the dim light glinting off the ring on his chest, the beads on his wrist which led her eyes to the space below his belly button. It was free of scars which left Aurora with more questions. She could see his foot poking out at the bottom of the sheet. She had never seen them and spent a few moments looking at those as well. _He definitely gets his feet done_ , she thought. She studied the picture for longer than she would ever admit to any given soul, her eyes darting back to his arm to trace the veins she could see beneath his scars and his thighs for...obvious reasons.

Ari was sure she would have to take another shower with the route her body was taking, growing hot and sticky in her most intimate parts.

She closed the picture, scrolling down to see his other message.

 _I could get used to this view_ he wrote with a snowflake emoji.

 _So could I_ she thought.

She decided to fuck with him, typing out a “look at all that snow!” message, not bothering to acknowledge his physique. She waited a few moments, opening and closing the message to see if the text bubble was there signifying he was responding, when she realized how late it was there. She rolled her eyes, pulling her body out of bed and heading to her bathroom to take a cold shower.

Fucking tease.

* * *

“What a fucking day,” Aurora sighed in satisfaction, putting her water flosser back on its holster and running her tongue across her teeth to ensure she had gotten all the bits of steak out. She had spent the entire day together with Jade and Kailoni, picking out colors and accessories for the bridesmaid dresses, helping Kailoni setup her wedding registry at _Pier One_ and _Crate and Barrel._ After, Jade had invited her over to her house for dinner before she left for her trip the following day and the girl made a _mean_ steak.

_“Did you hear back from His Darkness about Saturday yet?” Jade asked, cutting the fat off the corner of her ribeye and putting it on Aurora’s plate knowing she would eat it._

_Aurora glanced at her phone that was charging on the counter behind her best friend and fought the urge to sigh. She had texted him a few hours before, sending him a funny meme she’d found while scrolling through Tumblr but he had yet to respond. She knew that he was more than likely busy but she had gotten so used to his quick responses over the last few weeks that the stretched silence was making her feel dejected._

_“Not yet,” she huffed out to Jade around a mouthful of brussel sprouts._

_“Mmm,” Jade hummed thoughtfully. “He’ll answer you sis. He’s probably just busy, most thots are, and when he does, tell me where y’all going. I still gotta brief Tosh and Kailoni.”_

_“You really not lettin’ this go are you?” Aurora disparaged, reaching for Jade’s homemade steak sauce._

_“No, we gettin’ you laid, girl.”_

Ari straightened her “I need some space” tank top over her chest before shutting off the light to her bathroom. She also had yet to hear from either women so she figured she was safe for now. She glanced at her bed, wanting nothing more to crawl in between the sheets and sleep like the dead for a few hours but she was a little too jittery. Scooping up her notebook and blue quilted throw cover she headed towards her kitchen to make herself a cup of tea in hopes of relaxing her nerves and irritation before she she called it a night.

She turned on her Harmon Karmon speaker, connecting her phone and selecting her _12A_ playlist. The classic melody of _I Put a Spell On You_ by Nina Simone floated out from it’s spot on the island as she filled up her electric kettle and set it to heat.

Aurora sashayed gently to the haunting melody to where she had dropped her notebook, hoping up on the barstool and opening a blank page, her mind drifting to where it always tended to when she wrote, her absent neighbor. Her emotions for him were getting stronger and harder to ignore. Her slip on Monday, calling them best friends, hadn’t been a complete lie but best friends shouldn’t think about each other they way she often thought of him. Best friends shouldn’t send each other pictures the way he did. Best friends shouldn’t think about kissing either.

Aurora bit the end of her pen cap and thought back to that night. She could still hear Erik’s husky voice in her mind, loud and enticing.

_“Tell me you don’t want this shit and I’ll stop.”_

_“Say it and I’ll leave you alone.”_

She groaned softly and squeezed her eyes closed at the lingering feeling, remembering how soft and encompassing his lips were. She pulled her pen from between her clenching teeth and set it to the paper.

_i am lost_

_in translation_

_of our_

_last kiss._

_my lips_

_have not been_

_the same._

 

_i’ve learned_

_to kiss you_

_with my eyes._

_there are times_

_you do not see me_

_as i kiss you_

_with a quiet desperation_

_that you would_

_never understand._

Aurora rolled her lips together as she read her loopy script again, pursing them in concentration. Erik always had the keen ability to drag the truth out of her, forcing her to confront her raw emotions and hidden truths like no one else, not even Dr. Brown. She simultaneously loved and hated that about him. He helped her to shine light on her hidden parts and embrace who she is a little more everyday. And he had no clue.

 _Maybe you should tell him then?_ her subconscious asked accusingly.

The high pitched whistle of her kettle gave her an out from answering her inner question. She pulled the screaming pitcher off its base, pouring the boiling water over her Twinings Nightly Calm tea bag. She glanced at her phone next to her as she added raw sugar and honey to her mug. He still hadn’t answered her. Maybe the meme wasn’t as funny as she thought it was.

Aurora shrugged her shoulder trying to ward of the sadness she could feel creeping up on here again and bought the warm mug to her face, inhaling the scents of camomile, spearmint and lemongrass to calm her. She had taken the first pleasurable sip when there was a knock on her door.

Ari set the mug down slowly and turned towards the door, somehow she just _knew_ who was behind it. She shuffled towards it slowly, her space booties sliding across the floor. She didn’t bother looking through the peephole to impatient to get to him. She forced herself to open the door slowly, not wanting to shock him with how bad she wanted to see him. Her eyes tracking over him as he appeared. Starting with his pair of broken in Levi 501’s that match his creamy cashmere sweater perfectly to the heavy golden ring hanging in the the center of his chest. Her eyes kept travelling up noting other things,the stiffness in his shoulders and tightness in his jaw, until she got to his eyes and faltered. They were cold and drawn, his brow dipping down heavily in anger. She had never seen him like this and it slightly scared her. She took a slow step back, her slipper dragging across the wood loudly and Erik’s eyes shot down to them, blinking a few time.

The smile on his face is tight and carefully composed, not matching the hard edge in his eyes that made her want to run. “Those slippers are ridiculous, girl.”  

Ari ignored the forced joke and her budding fear, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside her apartment and into her kitchen.

“What’s wrong?” she asked impatiently, hating the discourage and angry look maring his beautiful face. She didn’t want to do small talk, she wanted to see him smile. She wanted to stop the correlation her mind was making quickly, bleeding her past and her present together in an ugly twisted way. Erik was _not_ that man.

Erik just shook his head in answer, his loose locs bouncing around with the movement as he kept his eyes on her sleep shorts, studying the rocket ships and astronauts on them too intently. She bit her lip trying to figure out what she needed to do to knock down this wall he had built up around himself.

“Want some tea?” she asked, not waiting for his answer as she went to fill up another mug. She spent a few seconds getting her mind together. Erik was here, he wasn’t ignoring her like she had previously thought. The knowledge lifted the rest of the small cloud that had been hanging over her for most of the day. But she had never seen him like this and it was actually concerning. How much of this man did she actually know? Maybe Tosha and Kailoni were right, she was letting a virtual stranger into her home with little questions because she was starved for attention. Maybe this was a mistake? Aurora crinkled her nose, feeling in her heart of hearts that that wasn’t correct. Anger did not necessarily mean rage and punishment, she had to learn that. Every man was not Mike and Mike did not reside in the hearts of all.

 _Dr. Brown would be proud girl._  

She finished making his tea, giving it an extra stir for good measure when she turned around and found him hunched over her the notebook she hdd stupidly forgotten about. She froze, watching his finger glide across the page, the feeling echoing in her heart as he read her innermost thoughts. She racked her brain, trying to remember exactly what she had just written.

 _The kiss!_ she thought with urgency.

Aurora cleared her throat loudly and his eyes slid up to hers, pinning her where she was standing. He knew, she could feel it, that the poem was about him, them, on that one night. How was she supposed to explain this?

Ari rolled her lips, holding out his mug to him, hoping her quick idea would work. “Trade you?”

For a few heart stopping seconds Erik just stared at her, an emotion she was too afraid to name heavy in his dark gaze. He tapped the notebook a few times with his pointer finger before he smirked, sliding it across the island and Aurora let out a breath, passing him his tea. She grabbed the book quickly, flipping it closed and putting it behind her, her heart giving a few fluttering beats of embarrassment. The poem was so intimate and telling but she found herself wanting to know what he thought of it.

_Ask him sis._

“I-I didn’t know how you like your tea so I just made it the way I do,” she supplied as he lifted the steaming cup to his face, blowing it slowly.

He took a tentative sip. “This is fine, Ari.”

She nodded, a soft “oh ok,” smothered into her mug as she took a sip of her own, watching him watch her.

Erik fidgeted in his seat for a few moments, the movements agitated and staccato. He looked uncomfortable around her for the first time and Aurora began kicking herself for being so forward, inviting him into her apartment without asking if he wanted. He looked like he hadn’t had a chance to properly unwind from his trip and here she was, demanding his time. She felt awful, mentally chastising herself for being selfish and not considering his needs. She was figuring out a way to salvage the situation when he huffed loudly, stretching a long arm out to her.

“Can you please come over her for a second?” he hesitated, looking wholly uncertain of what he was requesting and like  was expecting a “no” as the answer.

As if she could deny him anything.

She walked over to him, his body and eyes following her as she came to stand between his parted knees and study his face, placing her hand in his own. His face softened slightly at the contact. The lines of strain were still there but his eyes were softer, lips losing some of their tightness. She reached up to stroke his clenched jaw, watching in fascination as that too began to go slack. She scratched the coarse hair of his beard lightly, soothing it with a delicate swipe of her slender fingers.

“I missed you,” Aurora admitted quietly to him, ignoring the way her voice shook.

Erik closed his eyes at her words, leaning into her touch before he reached down and scooped her up, lifting her with a shuddering breath.

“Erik!” she gasped out as his arms enveloped her, pulling her up higher until his face was pressed into her neck, her body tucked tightly into his. His strong arms banded around her waist to keep her in place.

Aurora wrapped her arms loosely around his neck and head in fear of him dropping her, clearing her voice quietly. “Hey, E?” she called to him again but he just pulled her even closer, taking a deep breath against the skin of her shoulder.

“Just say here for a second,” his lips moved against her skin causing her to squeeze him instinctively, his mustache tickling her skin in the best way. “Please.”

“O-okay,” Aurora stuttered reaching up to comb her fingers through his hair, dragging a deep groan out of him. She stretched one out to inspect it closer. His hair was longer than the last time she had touched it and her mind wandered back to making him shampoo. The night they had kissed. She tugged on the loc gently remembering the way his tongue slid against hers. A dangerous thought to be having while being in his arms.

They stayed that way for what felt like lifetimes and seconds all at once, his warm breath tickling the juncture between her neck and shoulder, her fingers digging into his scalp soothingly. The music changed, _Tell Me_ by Sabrina Claudio began singing to them, saying to Erik the things Aurora couldn’t herself to the song strings of a guitar.

_Help me understand your love/Help me go the way you want me to go/Cause I can’t guess the things that you’re thinking so/Help me understand your love/ Tell me everything you want me to know/Cause I can’t fix it til I know that it’s broken._

Erik’s gripped loosed as he pulled his face back from her slightly making Aurora unravel her arms, placing her hands on his shoulders to push back in look at his face. She wanted to ask him if he was okay but the words died on her tongue when his lips connected with the sensitive skin of her neck, lightly, experimentally. She gripped his buttery soft sweater tightly in her fingers, sure her mind had made it up when he pecked her again, an innocent connection of skin on skin. She bit her tongue as he dropped more feathery kisses against the side of her neck, each more lingering than the next as he traveled higher. She forgot everything in the blanket of need that descended on her; their friendship, her anxiety and hesitation when it came to wanting more from him as she leaned her head back welcoming his gentle assault with parted lips, his supple mouth sending bright pops of light throughout her body. She clenched her belly, willing the appreciative moan she could feel in her throat to stay put.

Erik reached the soft spot behind her ear, opening his lips partly to give the area a sucking soft kiss and she quaked in his arms, not mentally ready for the heady moment, but she held no reluctance towards his affection. Her touch starved body opening up to him like a blooming flower wanting to be pollinated.

He chuckled deeply against the lobe of her ear before sighing. “Undiphilise ngokukhawuleza,” he whispered to her like a prayer before pulling further back, straightening to his full height, breaking the soft spell they had been in.

Aurora turned to look up at him through her heavy lids, his face was fully clear of the strain from before now, a soft smile painting the length of his mouth.

“Thank you,” he whispered, kissing her forehead before setting her down on the floor slowly, the descent just as delicious as he slid her across his body, her breast feeling every bump of his torso and stomach through her t-shirt.

Aurora nodded mutely as her toes touched the wood of her floor through her slippers, grasping his studded forearms for support as her head swam gently. She blinked up at him to clear the fog out of her brain before she took a step back, bumping into the stool behind her. Ari reached back to stop it’s rocking, Erik’s gentle laugh doing nothing to calm the butterflies flying like a whirlwind around her chest.

She hopped on the seat, dragging her mug to her to distract her hands from reaching out for him again. “You want to talk about it?” she channeled her inner Dr. Brown, keeping her voice level and pleasant. Attempting to pack away the lust in her body proved harder than she thought.

He shook his head with a rueful smile on his face, his eyes hardening again. “Nah, not really,” he said brushing his hand over her hair. “But I know I need to,” he sighed, pulling his own mug towards him. He looked at the marble backsplash hanging above her stove, collecting his thoughts. Aurora didn’t interrupt. She studied his profile. The broadness of his forehead, his strangely delicate brow bone, the slope of his nose that lead into his kissable lips. She jiggled her leg, trying to get herself to calm down and support her friend in his moment of need.

 _Friends my ass,_ her brain mocked.

 _Shut the hell up,_ she thought back.

“The township of Flint is trying to keep the Outreach Center out,” he bit out suddenly, cutting off  Aurora’s inner conversation.

“What!” she exclaimed louder than she meant to. “What the fuck? Why?”

Erik blew out an annoyed breath, “Dirty fucking politics.” Erik explained to her how the town council dodged the meeting with the civil engineers and Wakandan representatives. Having a member come to them instead with a letter outlining the five year plan they had to fixing the situation. He scoffed at that, “Fucking five years? We could do it in five _months_. Those pieces of shit don’t care about any of the people that live there. They want to push them out, develop the land to make some fucking condos or some shit. Evidence of their proposed gentrification plan is fucking littered everywhere, big name construction companies are fucking divvying up the land like a corrupted game of Monopoly. Making backhanded deals with those mothafuckas in office and people are literally dying!” He scrubbed an angry hand down his face. Aurora swallowed heavily, feeling helpless and terrible for not knowing about most of what was happening in her own country. She couldn’t even remember the last time she watched the news. “They’re getting rich off killing black people and no one is talking about this shit,” Erik continued, his voice a little quieter. “You don’t even see them reporting on the shit anymore.”

Ari nodded at him slowly, the urge to apologize sitting heavy in her heart. “Sorry, E.”

He turned towards her, a confused expression on his face. “Why?”

She wiped her eye, tears springing to them quickly. “I-I didn’t even know about this until you just told me. I feel like...I don’t know that I could’ve been doing something?”

“Babygirl, no,” he said pulling her off her stool and into his lap. “This shit is so much bigger than us as individuals. There’s nothing you could do to stop this corrupt ass government. Don’t waste your tears on something you can’t control,” he soothed her, rubbing his hand over her hair. He wiped a few tears away from her face, a small smile on his lips as he looked at her. “I’ve been stuck in this bubble of fucking happiness these past few months that I wasn’t looking as closely as I should have either but all that shit gone change. Desia and I have a plan, we gone hit them fuckas where it hurts, believe that.”

She wiped the last tear, the name bringing up a question. “Desia? The woman you were in Chicago with?”

He smiled,his voice thick with fondness when he spoke about her next. “Yeah, that’s my ace. We already know what we gotta do. I just need to get my cousins on board. I have a meeting with them tomorrow morning.”

“Okay,” Aurora said even though she had a million questions about his work and his family. And Desia.

“Don’t worry, you gone meet all of them soon,” Erik said like he could read her mind, rubbing a soothing circle across her back.

“Yeah?” she questioned, loving the idea immediately.

“Yeah.” Erik looked down at her shirt then. “Unless this is about me or some shit,” he said pulling the fabric gently making her roll her eyes.

“If it was, you wouldn’t be in my kitchen drinking all my damn tea,” she joked back, slapping his wrist playfully.

“Just making sure, ma.” He looked at the time after she yawned. “It’s late, I should let you sleep.”

“You’re the one with a meeting in the morning. Go get your butt in bed, Stevens.”

“I will when you get out of my lap, girl,” he grinned, tapping her thigh with his fingers and winking.

“You put me here you ass!” she reminded him, getting down and giving him space to stand.

“Semantics,” he said, knowing how often she used it.

“You jackin my swag?”

He looked her up and down slowly, shaking his head. “Nah, you wouldn’t catch me in hell wearing those boots.”

“They’re cute!” she huffed, stomping her foot, making them squeak. Erik tossed his head back and laughed.

“Adorable,” he commented, pulling her in for a hug.

“Damn skippy,” Ari rumbled into his chest.

“Goodnight, Princess.”

“Goodnight, Jerk.”

She watched him walk out, looking at the door longingly before she picked up the mugs, rising them out in the sink and turned off her speaker. She padded back into her bedroom, kicking off her slippers and pulling the covers back a smile on her face.

Aurora was just drifting off when her phone vibrated on the pillow next to her, a text from Erik.

_Thanks again._

Her smile was even bigger.

_Anytime._

* * *

  **Translations:**

Kungekudala umtshakazi - Soon Princess soon

Undiphilise ngokukhawuleza - You heal me so fast

_drop me a comment dolls. xo_

 


	14. Deliberately

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok…here’s an actual author’s note. HEY GIRL HEY! Here it is the….I forget how many installments this thing actually has. I apologize that it took me so damn long to get this out. Writer’s block is a bitch. I would promise to do better from now on but I dont know how much truth would even be in that sentence so Imma leave it alone. Thanks for everyone who has stuck with me through the hiatus. I love all of you. This chapter isnt actuallty what I hoped it would be and you know what…that’s okay. I gave it my best.

**Deliberately**

****

No one ever told Aurora that making pancakes was so hard. Well, mixing pancakes was easy. Whisking flour, baking powder, milk and eggs amongst other things in a bowl had been easy, _fun_ actually. But flipping over the tender pastries had been a learning curve Aurora was not prepared for at eight in the morning.

 “C’mon you fuckin’ piece of shit,” she growled, grinding her teeth as she fought to get the pancake to flip all the way over and not in on itself. She flicked her wrist quickly and almost squealed with glee when it landed fully on its other side.

 “Fuckin’ yes!” she whooped as she pressed down on the golden brown circle, humming a nameless tune.

 She stacked the latest one on top of her other three perfectly made cakes, pushing the plate of burned and misshapen mistakes to the side to dispose of later. Cooking this morning had been therapeutic compared to the night she’d had last night. Ari had fallen asleep hard after she’d sent the last text to Erik only to be woken up a few hours later by a pretty vivid dream of what would have happened if he hadn’t stopped kissing her in the kitchen. She closed her eyes slowly and sighed wondering if she should address the situation, but quickly dismissed the idea. If he was cool about it then she was cool about it. No need to make the situation out to be more than what it was.

 _He was just stressed out and needed a friend to help calm him down,_ she thought as she sat at her island and began spreading strawberry jelly on her pancakes. The excuse was weak but she didn’t care, she regretting nothing that happened last night.

 _Neither does he sis,_ her inner voice quipped.

Aurora rolled her eyes and picked up the jug of _Aunt Jemima’s,_ drizzling a generous amount over her plate and tucked into the food. She moaned around the first bite, it was _good._ Ari did a silly dance in her seat as she munched happily. She had a plan for today: some light shopping for a cute top and maybe some shoes for tomorrow, lunch at the new ramen bar they’d just added to the mall, stopping at the little jewelry store that opened nearby for some cute accessories and then back home to give herself a mani and pedi. If she was fast and discreet enough she figured she could get it all done before her two best friends were done with work for the day.

She opened her online banking app, checking her dwindling funds with an annoyed quirk of her mouth. Thank god she had paid her rent in six month intervals. With the timeline Kamia and Jade had made for her book release, she had just enough to survive for the next few weeks. Aurora switched over some money from her savings to her checking account and blew out a breath. Writing was rewarding but the absence of a normal check was something she missed. Maybe she should get a part time job…

Aurora sat her phone on the table with a heavy sigh. There had been several times in the past where she contemplated moving back home. Her mom always stressed how much she missed her since her move to California three years ago. Telling her that she was always welcomed to come back whenever she wanted.

 _“I always miss you when you’re gone, mon chou,”_ Donna would tell her, pinching the apple of her cheeks.

Aurora bit her lip, she missed her maman, but returning home somehow felt like a failure. Not to mention that it was a ways away from her life and friends here. She could find a new therapist...but she didn’t want to. Her relationship and the understanding she achieved with Dr. Brown was irreplaceable and the idea of starting over with someone else she didn’t trust was wholly unappealing.

 _And Erik._ He was also a heavy reason to stay where she was, she could admit that. The idea of giving up her friendship with made her heart thud uncomfortably in her chest.

No, she was going to stay. Even if that meant getting a part time job.

Aurora was just opening up her Google Docs app on her phone to blow the dust off of her resume when a loud ring from her intercom system stunned her.

“The fuck?” she asked, getting up to answer it, wishing for the thousandth time that they would upgrade the system to have cameras. Ignoring people would be so much easier that way.

“Hello?” she asked, pressing the call button.

“Heeeeeeeyyyy biiiitttcccchhhhh!” Twin voices called over the speaker. Ari blinked rapidly at the onslaught of sound before he mind recognized them and she groaned.

Tosha and Kailoni. She face palmed hard, of course she hadn’t gotten away scott free.

“Don’t you bitches have work to do?”

"When our best friend has a date with a nigga that looks like Erik we don’t,” Tosha said.

“Let us in, Ari,” Kailoni sounded like she was close to begging. “I can see Fred’s pissy ass shuffling towards the door and I will _not_ have my ass pinched today.”

Aurora shook her head with an annoyed smile. “I should leave yo meddling asses out there,” she threatened, buzzing them in and disconnecting the call. She rubbed her temples as she paced in front of her door, she could already feel the headache building from the situation. She just wanted to have a relaxing day in preparation for her date tomorrow. Now it seemed like she was going to be poked and prodded the only way these two women knew how. A torture in itself.

_Date huh?_

_Can it bitch!_

She could hear them when they got off the elevator, singing an extremely off key rendition of _Let’s Get Married_ in the hall on the way to her door.

“You guys had _better_ be practicing that song for _your_ wedding,” Aurora threatened while opening the door, pointing at Kailoni. She smiled despite her annoyance at the image of her two best friends holding hands and catwalking down the hall towards her. She loved them so much it sometimes made her heart ache.

Kailoni hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek. “Oh, I’m sure I won’t be the only one getting married soon sis.”

Aurora rolled her eyes, closing her door and trailing behind them. “Let’s take it easy there, sis. Erik and I are-”

Tosha turned to give her a glare, “I swear to god Aurora if you say y’all friends one more goddamn time.”

Aurora, put her hands up slowly. “I was going to say ‘aren’t even dating,’ Damn, hands up don’t shoot.”

“Whatchu mean this not a date?” Kailoni asked, dropping her cute hunter green Celine mini on the countertop. She gave Aurora’s plate a skeptical look before pulling it over to her.

“I said what I said,” Ari mimicked the overused gif, hand gestures and all.

“The nigga asked you out right?”

_How about this, we go out Saturday when I get back. I’ll take you somewhere special?_

Ari bit her lip and nodded.

Tosha smirked at her, “That sounds like a date to me then, boo. I don’t know why you keep denying it. You like this nigga, he likes you, and he asked to take you somewhere. Let the shit rock.”

She shrugged a shoulder and decided to give up on explaining the situation to her knowing the answer would fall on deaf ears. Trying to change their perception of the situation was a lost cause.

 _Or maybe_ you’re _the one who’s lost._

“Sis, did you make these from scratch?” Kailoni questioned, picking up Aurora’s fork and taking a bite of the pancakes. She hummed in approval, “These are _good._ ”

Aurora snatched the plate back from her with a mocking glare. “You sound _too_ stunned, sis.”

Kailoni pushed her hair behind her ear and gave Ari a “really?” face that had the woman tossing her hands in the air. “Whatever!

“So where is the nigga taking you?” Tosh asked, coming over to the kitchen island and picking up Aurora’s cup, giving it a tentative sniff.

Aurora glared at her. “I’m not sure, he didn’t say. Just ‘somewhere special.’”

“Call him,” Tosha suggested, taking a sip of Aurora’s orange juice.

“Uhhh, what?” Aurora asked eloquently. Was she _crazy_?

“Why you actin’ like we asked some outlandish shit?” Kailoni asked, picking up two of the misshapen pancakes.  “Call him and ask him where he’s taking you. It’s the least he can do for springing this on you so soon.”

Ari glanced at the time, 9:37 AM. “He’s at work.”

Tosha raised an eyebrow. “And? Bet money that nigga picks up.”

Aurora turned the phone over in her hand, thumb hovering above the unlock button. On one hand, the thought of calling Erik this early during the day made her apprehensive. She had just seen a few hours before. What if he thought she was being clingy or annoying? She turned the thought over for a second. It seemed...unlikely. He never made her feel like he was nothing except excited to interact with her in any capacity. Which lead her to the other hand, the prospect of hearing his voice. Ari would have never thought she had a voice kink until she met him. His deep chuckle in the cab of the elevator car all those weeks ago should have told her different.

Kailoni began to loudly hum the Jeopardy theme song causing Ari to roll her eyes.

“Yeah yeah, bitch. Hold on.” She opened her phone and dialed Erik’s number before her nerves could get the best of her. It rang three times before his deep baritone is in her ear, stunning her almost to silence.

“Princess?” Erik questioned, shock coloring the two syllable word.

“Hey, E,” she answered, reaching up to nervously twirl one of her coils around her finger.

“Good morning,” he stated smoothly.

“Morning,” Aurora mumbled, stepping away from her friends knowing grins. “Sorry for calling you so early. I just had a question about tomorrow.”

“Don’t apologize,” he reassured her, voice like blackstrap molasses; dark, sweet and sticky as it swirled in her brain. “You just made my day a little better.”

Aurora’s heartbeat picked up as warmth spread through her cheeks and belly. Her skin prickled slightly in arousal. She really _did_ love his voice...

“Ooh, this nigga got you real unfocused, Ari,” Kailoni giggled. “You don’t even remember why you called him do you?”

“Shut up, Kaybo,” Aurora mouthed to her friend.  

Erik chuckled into the receiver. “Ya friends there?” He paused for a moment before continuing, his voice a little deeper. “You not cancelling on me are you, babygirl?”

“N-no. Why would I?” Like fucking _hell_ she was cancelling on this man.

His voice was much lighter, “Just making sure. What’d you need Princess? I’m about to step into a meeting.”

Shit, the meeting with his cousin! Aurora had forgotten that he was busy this morning. “Uh, right! Sorry. They wante- I mean _I_ wanted to know where you were taking me?”

Erik hummed over the sound of a door closing, pretending think over telling her. “Hmm..nah. You’re just going to have to wait and see.”

“What? Why not?” she grinned at playful edge to his voice.

“It’s a surprise Princess. Wouldn’t be much of a surprise if I told you right?”

“Just tell her how to dress, nigga.” Tosha called out when she say the exasperated look on her bestfriends face. Ari had never been happier for Tosh’s no nonsense attitude.

Erik kissed his teeth. “That’s what this is about? You can wear whatever you want, Ari. You gone look good regardless.”

Aurora bit her lip to contain the grin that was spreading over her face. “So, I can wear gym shorts and a tank top and that’d be fine?”

Erik breathed a short laugh. “Like I said, regardless.”

“Noted,” Ari announced in a cheeky clipped voice, going for a military sound. “See you tomorrow.”

“Later, Princess.” Erik said before ending the call. Aurora hugged the phone gently to her chest.

“So?” Tosha asked causing Aurora to jump. She had forgotten they were there. “You done with the dreamy sighs and shit? Cause we got shopping to do.”

Aurora turned around to face the expectant looks on their faces. “I don’t think we really need to go all out. It doesn’t sound like we’re goin anywhere crazy,.”

“Nice try bitch, we _are_ going shopping,” Kailoni told her as she picked up the plate and took it to the sink. “Get dressed. And you are _not_ wearing shorts unless ya ass cheeks is hanging out the bottoms.”

Ari rolled her eyes before turning towards her bedroom. “Whatever. Y’all can clean the kitchen up since yall ate my damn breakfast.”

* * *

 

“You guys know there’s a chance we aren’t going to a club right?” Aurora said skeptically as she eyed the pairs of heels on the shelves at BLACKMARKET. “He texted me that he’s picking me up at five. It’ll probably look stupid if I’m running around in a pair of,” she picked up a red leather platform ankle boot, “Jeffrey Campbell’s.”  
  
Kailoni looked her up and down with a raised eyebrow. “Ari, you’re like 4’5. Erik is going to break his back and neck bending down to kiss your ass so we gotta even the playing field.”  
  
Aurora side eyed her mumbling, “He ain’t complain before.”  
  
“What the fuck you just say, Ari?” Kailoni demanded, her sharp hearing catching the tail end of the sentence.  
  
Aurora turned away quickly, eyes scanning the store for the clothing section. “Nothing. I’m going to find Tosh.” She weaved her way through the patrons and clothing carts before Kailoni could say another word. The Urban Outfitters copycat was oddly packed for a mid-morning Friday, she thought as she walked past the register where a boy with a septum piercing, an aqua fade and eyes the color of storm clouds was ringing up a gaggle of giggling girls. She bobbed her head to the nostalgic beat of Lovefools spotting Tosha near a shelf of pants.  
  
“Love me, love me. Say that you love me. Fool me, fool me. Just go on and fool me,” Aurora sang comically off-key, backing her booty up into Tosha’s thick thigh.  
  
Her friend laughed, reaching back to swat her ass away before turning around. “Let’s just hope you use those same moves on Mr. BDE tomorrow night.”  
  
Aurora ignored her smart comment and took the two sets up pants she had draped across her forearm.  
  
“These are cute Tosh,” she complimented, holding up the stretchy pair of dark grey moto pants. The two rows of shiny zippers on the pocket added to the appeal.  
  
“That’s the pair were going with then,” Tosha decided. She discarded the other pair, ignoring the look Aurora threw her way when she didn’t refold them. “They’ll go great with this shirt.” Tosha held up a hanger with a white sleeveless crop top shirt with the words “Party Crashers” in the same dark grey color as the pants on it.  
  
Aurora wrinkled her nose, they did look good together. “What if I get cold?”  
  
Tosha scoffed at her with an annoyed flick of her brown eyes. “That’s what Erik is for, sis.”  
  
Ari pursed her lips in the thought of Erik with his arms around her. She fought to keep her face neutral under Tosha’s keen eye. “Maybe I could just get a nice cardigan to go over it. Just in case.”  
  
Tosha kissed her teeth loudly. “Oh, we are not doin' that.”  
  
“Doin’ what?” Kailoni asked as she came up behind Aurora. “Those are cute, Ari.”  
  
“This bitch wants to wear a sweater for tonight,” Tosha clarified, pulling her cell phone out of the back pocket of her True Religion jeans.  
  
“Oh no, we are not doin' that,” Kailoni repeated Tosha’s earlier words and Aurora squinted at her.  
  
“Do y'all have like, hive mind or some shit?” Her head swung between the two women.  
  
Kailoni pulled a face. “You’re not wearing a fucking sweater. Here,” she thrust a large shoe box into Ari’s arms. “Try these on with that.”  
  
Aurora turned and walked dutifully over to the fitting room, smiling warmly at the short stocky girl who helped her find a changing room. She hung up the clothes and stripped and changed quickly. The pants fit like a glove, stopping a little above her ankle and showcased her bubble booty - she spent a few silly seconds swinging it back and forth in the mirror - and the shirt came to the bottom of her rib cage leaving her pierced belly button out in the open. Ari tightened her stomach and poked dramatically at the small abdominal muscles she could see coming in. Her diet and regular exercise were starting to come through; weight being put back on in the right places. The outfit was cute, she had to give Tosha that.  
  
Aurora’s phone buzzed behind her, a message from Jade.  
  
_Let Satan keep you warm!_  
  
Aurora rolled her eyes hard enough to give herself a headache. Of course, they were texting her everything that was happening...  
  
She turned on her socked feet and looked at the black Public Desire shoebox sitting on the bench next to her Herschel fanny pack. They held a pair of white and tan chunky platform sandals.  
  
“Fa real?” Aurora sighed, picking up one of the heavy shoes. They were cute but not go out in public at four pm and potentially fall on your face cute.  
  
“Ari?” she head Kailoni call out from the hall.  
  
“In here!” she called back, standing on her tiptoes and waving the shoe above the door.  
  
“Why you waving the shoe and not wearing it, sis?” Tosha questioned as Aurora opened the door for her. “You is cute sis! I did a damn good job,” she poked Ari in the belly.  
  
Aurora sniffed a laugh. “Thanks. And because I’m not trying to break my neck, Kaybo.”  
  
Kailoni rolled her eyes at her dramatic friend. “They’re chunky, you’ll be fine.” She pointed to the bench, “sit.”  
  
Aurora grumbled good-naturedly as she sat on the bench and strapped the death traps to her feet. She shot the pair a look before she stood with ease, not a wobbling ankle in sight.  
  
“Huh,” she said as she took in her appearance in the mirror. The shoes made her an even 5’5 and the tan and white compliment the dark colors of her pants and wording on her shirt. She walked around the small area of the fitting room, amazing that her feet didn't hurt and she wasn’t three seconds from tripping.  
  
Kailoni’s grin was huge on her face, the apples of her cheeks reaching up to kiss her eyes. “Well?”  
  
Ari looked down at her feet. “They’re comfy.”  
  
“And cute,” Tosh added.  
  
“And Erik won’t have neck pains from looking down at you all night.” Kailoni finished.  
  
Aurora rubbed a hand over her face. “Noted, now can I redress so we can get out of here?”  
  
“Alright, but make it snappy. We got other places to go,” Tosha commanded, closing the door behind them.  
  
Ari took the clothes off, still cautious of the shoes and put her comfy Fashion Nova jeans and white tee shirt back on. Kailoni and Tosha waved her over to the registers where they already had their shopping bags. The cashier, Bryce, rang her up quickly, giving her an extra 30% off her entire purchase. She smiled at him sweetly and large before she was ushered out the line by an excited Kaybo.  
  
“C’mon we’re going to be late for our appointment,” she urged, pushing the ladies out the store like the time tyrant she was.  
  
“What appointment?”

* * *

 

“I am _not_ doin’ this shit,” Aurora growled lowly at her two friends as they entered the locker room of Spa Castle.  She gripped the paper that held their itinerary for the day in her fist tightly, curls flying as she turned her glare on them.

“So, we booked you a spa day and this is how you repay us?” Kailoni accused, shrugging out of her blouse, hands going for the button on her pink pants.

Ari pressed her fist to her forehead. Kaybo was right. They had set up a day of relaxation for her to enjoy knowing that her anxiety was going to be all over the place if she stayed in the house. A massage, facials, a mani and pedi, a light lunch.

And a 1 PM appointment with a wax technician.

“I _do_ appreciate you for setting this up,” she started over, calmer than she was before.

“Then act like it,” Tosha reprimanded making her feel like a child.

“ _But!”_ she pressed on with a half threatening glance at her interrupter. “I don’t need to get a Brazilian wax.” No, hell no. She wasn’t doing it. Had no _reason_ to do it. 

 _There may be one reason,_ her subconscious sneered.

“Brazilian?” Kailoni chimed in again like she wasn’t the one who orchestrated the entire thing. She slipped on her plush ivory robe. “Oh you a bold bitch, Ari. We should look up a design!” She enthused, picking up her phone to google options.

Aurora ignored Tosha’s eagar noise of happiness and turned to the locker in front of her. She opened it roughly making the white woman a few down from her jump unnecessarily. Ari rolled her eyes and sighed at the sight of the robe inside, placing her forehead against the cold metal. She was genuinely grateful for what they were doing but this felt like a small invasion of privacy. She got that her friends were excited for her but this wasn’t even a date. All of this primping and priming was for nothing. She wasn’t sleeping with Erik tomorrow so getting her kitty waxed was such a colossal waste of time and money.

She shot Jade a quick “what the fuck?” text, as she too stripped to nude and pulled the cloud-soft robe over her shoulders with a satisfied sigh. How it was still dryer warm she wasn’t sure.

“You ready to go or you still pissy about your soon-to-be-bare pussy?” Tosha asked with a humorous lift to her brow.

“You starting your comedy tour, sis?” Ari sassed back as she pulled out her wallet and phone from her fanny pack.

Kailoni pointed at the former, “You don’t need that Ari, everything is taken care of.”

Aurora comically placed a hand on her chest, leaning back to look at Kailoni with a shocked expression. “Well, excuse me!”

The three women made their way deeper into the locker room. Ari took in the decor of the spa. Stark white walls with the colors of seafoam sprinkled here or there gave her Santorini vibes. They stopped in the blessedly empty communal bathroom where they took hot showers with exfoliant salts and lavender oils. Aurora moaned loudly under the spray making Tosha laugh from her stall.

“Still upset sis?”

“Fuck no,” Ari said, pulling the shower cap down on her head and turning to get the oil and suds off of her back.

They exited the bathroom and entered an alcove littered with massage tables and chairs. The room was empty, lights dimmed down to heighten the ambiance and calming music floated on the air around them. Aurora shot a panicked look at her friends, she wasn’t prepared for the waxing just yet.

“It’s not until after lunch boo, don’t trip,”  Kailoni assured her while she stripped and got on the table, placing her face in the opening. “And it won't be that bad, you’re overthinking it.”

Tosha snorted, “It’s going to hurt, we ain't gone lie to you. But it’ll be over before you know it. Kathy is scarily proficient at waxing and even better at distracting you as she does it.”

Ari let out a breath of relief. Kathy, a woman. She didn’t know what she would do if a man was going to be looking at her nani. She decided to take their advice, pulling her phone out of her robe pocket to check the time unnecessarily, a nervous tick. There was a message from Jade from earlier.

 _Waxed wood floors, boo,_ Jade wrote back. Ari stuffed the device back into its place with a shake of her head. She pulled her robe off and got on the table quickly, shy in her nudity.

“How long until they come in?” she asked after she was comfortable with the towel over her waist, following how she had seen her girls.

“They should be here in a few. Just relax until then.”

Aurora focused on her breathing and the gentle smell of jasmine around her, shaking all thoughts from her mind until she was on the soft, inviting edge of sleep. She barely recognized when two firm but petite hands began to rub minty oils into her skin.

“Is that too warm?” a quiet female voice queried. Aurora just shook her head, too relaxed try and find her voice.

The massage went by almost _too_ quickly. Her masseuse had expert hands that made her melt into the warm towels beneath her.

Aurora felt heavy and boneless when she felt two gentle taps on her shoulder signifying that the session was over. She mumbled out a sighing “thank you” with a weak wave of her hand but didn't bother to get up.

Kaloni chuckled next to her. “Good wasn’t it?”

“Uh huh,” Aurora answered eloquently. “Can we just stay here for the rest of the day? Maybe do that again?”

Tosha pulled her up to a sitting position, ignoring her flailing arms and indignant sounds. “Uh uhn, let's go, girl. ”Aurora grabbed up a towel and pressed it to her front with a glare which only made her friend roll her eyes. “Don’t nobody care about your lil titties girl. It’s lunchtime, let's go.”

Ari followed her friends to the cafeteria, an all-white outdoor area with a stunning view of the ocean. The treetops of Channel Islands National Park could _just_ be seen peeking out on the distance. The sun was high in the sky signifying how close they were getting to noon. It warmed her cool skin. Aurora closed her eyes and leaned against the solid balcony imaging she could just taste the salt in the air from where she was. A gentle smile played across her lips as she thought about the day so far. It wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. Surprisingly, Tosha and Kailoni hadn’t asked nearly as many questions about the situation with Erik as she was anticipating, focusing instead on getting her ready for the next day. The smile faltered from her lips and she groaned lightly. She dropped her head to the arm resting on the railing. _Tomorrow._ Every time she thought of the upcoming outing something feeling a lot like dread rushed through her veins. She wasn’t dreading going out with Erik, on the contrary, Aurora was _excited._ But the thought that something could go wrong sat uncomfortably in the back of her skull. She reached back and prodded the spot with her fingers as if she could push it into the darkness of her mind.

“Aurora,” a voice snapped her out of her doubt. She behind her to find Kailoni walking over to her with a look of concern on her face. “You’re always getting lost, do I need to hold your hand?”

Ari pushed her hair back with a fragile smirk. She held out her hand, “Yes mom.”

Kailoni pursed her lips in thought for a second before grabbing her hand and leading her over to the table. “Take my damn eyes off you for half a second and you about to jump off a cliff. In front of all these white people to boot. You know they already think lowly of black women. You not about to be out here embarrassing me.”

They looked over the menu while taking sips of the bubbly raspberry sparkling water. Tosha turned the page over and back again a few times with an agitated look on her face.

"This is it?" she questioned looking around at the platters on the tables next to the group. "Hummus, finger sandwiches, dry salad, and flavorless soup? Where the fuck are the burgers and fries?"

"We're at a spa surrounded by upper-class white women with varicose veins on their legs and you thought actual beef that isn't tartar was going to be on the menu?" Kailoni questioned. "Just pick a salad and get over it, boo."

They picked a few items on the list, chatting about what they were going to eat for dinner as they waited for their selections to be brought out to them.

"Not trying to be rude," Aurora said as she picked the olives out of her chicken caesar salad - _who even puts those in there?_ \- "but how did you pay for this? The prices on the menu are fucking disgusting."

"Mmm," Tosha said, throwing down the last bite of her crostini. "Almost as disgusting as this lunch."

"Remember that couple I did the wedding for in February?" Kaloni offered.

"You mean the one who decided to have the _Nightmare Before Christmas_ themed wedding _after_ both Halloween and Christmas?" Aurora clarified with a wrinkled brow.

"Yes, _them_. They gave me three passes to this place after for doing such a marvelous job."

"As usual, sis," Tosha added with a grin before she looked back down at the plates. She grabbed a cucumber finger sandwich. “Next time, tell them to give you passes to _Osso._ Nothing says ‘thank you’ like a good steak.”

They finished lunch and traveled three floors down to the beauty salon. The decor was much the same as the other sections of the spa, clean walls pops of blue and purples all around. It was busier here than any other section they had visited and Aurora fought the urge to look at the time. She didn't want to know how close they were to one. She walked over to the wall of nail polishes and spent a few minutes picking out colors and deciding between a wrap and acrylic. Tosha came over to help, looking at the options in her hands.

"Just get the green sis, we gone be late to your wax appointment if you keep up with the indecisiveness."

Ari rolled her eyes and sat down at Tony’s station to get her coffin set done. She immediately liked the exuberant Vietnamese man, he worked quickly, talked with an animated face and had her in stitches the entire time she was in his chair.

"These are sooo dope," she said admiring the finished product. He had added a few matte black nails and a intricate lace design on her ring fingers.

"It me girl," he snapped his fingers in a circle, pulling another laugh out of Ari. "You also have a lovely nail bed, great for decorating.”

She thanked him, promising to give him a great tip when she got to the register and walked over to the pedicure chair. Toni instructed the toenail technician to give her a simpler design with the same color on her toes. Aurora sighed as she settled her feet into the warm bubbly water.

“I told you it was going to be a good day,” Tosha laughed. “And look at you, glowing and shit.”

Aurora rolled her eyes over to the older girl, her voice getting caught in her throat at the sight of the man standing between them. He looked _amazing._ His deep brown skin shined beneath the soft fluorescent light above them, sinewy of his arms bunching and releasing in his white cotton tee shirt, khaki pants leaving little room with the way the hugged him. _Zavier,_ his blue name tag supplied.

“How’s your time with us been today?” Zavier asked as he rubbed the lavender lotion into Tosha’s hands. She was giving the nearly six-foot man a “come hither” stare that had Aurora giggling lowly.

“Oh, it’s been divine since you’ve arrived, Z. Can I call you that?” she nearly moaned with a cock of her head.

The man chuckled with a nod of his bald head, putting lotion between each of Tosha’s chubby fingers. “You can call me whatever you like, ma’am.”

Tosha’s grin only grew. “I do have a suggestion though. They need to add a little more beef to their lunch menu. You know steak, ribs, roast, yo fine ass.”

"LaTosha Sinclair!" Kailoni smacked her from her seat on the other side of her. She had some green mask all over her face.

"What? You tryna tell me you wouldn't order this pound of all American beef if it was on the menu?"

"Actually I'm Bajan,” Zavier supplied, still wholly cool. The man was probably used to the attention.

Tosha literally purred. "Oooh, I _love_ me a Caribbean man."

Kailoni waved him off, embarrassed at her friend. "Zavier,  we're good, really thanks." She glared at Tosha. "You almost as bad as Jade's thirsty ass."

Tosha pointed at him. "If that's the glass of water, I'm ready to drink sis."

Aurora outright laughed, making Zavier turn his light brown eyes to her. He licked his lips and walked over to her. Ari swallowed hard. The look in his eye was familiar. One that Erik had given to her more than once. The thought made her feel funny. She didn't like it on the face of this man.

"And you, miss?" he questioned when he got closer to her. He gave the lotion bottle in hand a small shake to show what he meant.  

"I-I'm okay. Tony hooked me up."

"Oh no, not that one honey," Tosha called out to Zavier, who looked like he was going to try again. "She's spoken for."

"Oh," Zavier said looking back at Aurora. "Well, if that changes, you know where to find me." He swaggered off after, leaving the women with an expression of varying degrees of shock.

"Wow, he was def feeling _you_ sis," Kailoni cajoled, flipping the magazine in her lap.  

"Uh, yeah,” Aurora agreed, looking over at his muscular back as he helped an overzealous woman with red hair. He was attracted but she couldn’t find a single thing she liked about him other than he reminded her of Erik. Was she broken?

"He had BDE sis. If shit doesn't work out of Erik you _definitely_ have another option." Tosha advised. “But you’re _more than welcome_ to slid his fine ass this way. I know a thing or two we could get into.”

Kailoni shot her a look before bending forward to look at Aurora. "His BDE is not as big as Erik's though."

Tosha nodded her head in agreement. "Facts! I bet that nigga got the dick to match too."

 _He sure does,_ Aurora thought. She had successfully managed not to look at the picture he had sent her again since that night but that didn’t mean she didn’t have the image burned into her mind. She clenched her thighs together and sucked her lip into her mouth, her mental eye zooming in on the area of topic. She felt like a pervert.

Aurora must've made a noise because both women's eyes snapped to her in simultaneously.  

"That's the second time today you've acted out when talking about Erik's dick,” Kailoni accused with narrowed eyes. “You better explain. You seen it, sis?"

Aurora swallowed hard. She knew that the truth was sitting evidently on her face. She kept her gaze slightly away from her friend. "I don't even know what you guys are talking about."

Tosha made a deep noise of annoyance. "That nigga showed you his dick before asking you out on a date? Oh, Imma whoop his ass."

"What!?" Aurora nearly yelled, head snapping back over to the two. “No, he didn’t show me his dick.”

Tosha was not swayed. “Then why you blushing, bitch?” _How can she tell?_ Aurora thought, reaching up to swipe at her warm cheek. “Look I’m _all_ for you having sexual relations outside of relationships but you _like_ this nigga. And if he’s leading you on and just tryna fuck we gone have a problem.

Aurora blinked at her friend a few times before shaking her head. If sex was what Erik wanted, he had had plenty of opportunities in the past to take it. She couldn’t even pretend that’s what he wanted anymore. “It’s not like that, trust me.”

Her friends visibly relaxed. “Then why the face Ari?” Kailoni asked. “Something got you hot and bothered.” She smirked. “What? He rubbed it against you during one of your cooking lessons?”

“Y’all so fucking annoying,” Aurora supplied before pulling the phone out of her pocket. She opened their chat, scrolling up a little and clicked on the picture before handing it over to Tosha.

“Daaaaaaaaamn, this nigga is _fine!”_ Tosha said pulling the phone to the other side so that Kailoni could see the screens. “Yo, what’s up with his scars though?”

Aurora stilled. She really didn’t know what the body modification meant. She attempted to look them up online once but was met with several hundred pages of information. They could mean anything from religious to social reasons behind them. Some pages even described them as a mark of marriage or right of passage into adulthood. She hadn’t ask Erik about them. It just didn’t seem like the right time.

Aurora shrugged her shoulder at Tosha’s question, not that the woman was looking.

“Oooooh, he definitely had the dick to match,” Kailoni giggled.

“Guys, really?” Aurora whispered to them, looking around to see if they had garnered any attention from the other patients. The woman rubbing salts into her foot gave her a polite smile. “Can y’all keep it down?”

Tosha shook her head, eyes still on the screen they were zooming into. “This is _not_ the kind of dick you stay quiet for. Damn, this nigga sent you this? Nice job Erik.”

“Very _very_ nice,” Kailoni whistled before going back to her magazine.

Tosha took another lingering look at the picture before handing the phone back to Aurora. She fanned herself. “You better be careful with that nigga,” she advised. “He gone hurt you, sis. I can’t save you from dick.”

“I don’t think it’s just the dick she gone need saving from,” Kailoni mumbled as one of the spa workers helped her wipe the mask off of her face. “You seen the nigga’s face. He got pussy pillows too. He probably the type to _enjoy_ eating box. You got lucky as hell, my friend.”

“Mmhmm,” Tosha agreed. “He looks like the type to wake you up with his head between ya legs. A glorious way to start your day if I do say so myself.”

Ari chose to ignore her friends, glancing briefly down at the picture on her phone before locking it. She didn’t need to be any more worked up than she already was. She watched as her technician separated her toes with the tissue paper and began to paint her toenails.

The conversation redirected itself once Kailoni tried to pry for information on her upcoming bachelorette party. The girls had already booked the flights and _Air BnB’s_ in Lake Tekapo. New Zealand had been one of the places on her bucket list and the top choice since her fiance Rob had already booked a two-month tour of Europe for their honeymoon. Most of the excursions had been purchased through the nearby resort and paid in full. Aurora was ridiculously excited to go on the much-needed trip.

“We not tellin’ you shit, Kay. You’ll just have to wait and see.” Tosha intoned.

Kailoni whined before looking over at Aurora with hopeful eyes. “Aaaariiiiii,” she sang.

“Oh no way, bitch! Tosha is _not_ killing me over this. Try Jade.”

Kaloni flopped back into the heated massage chair. “Already tried, and she stonewalled me,” she huffed.

“Good,” Tosha said with finality.

“Aurora Greene?” A small Asian woman with a thin face questioned, walking up to the trio. She was wearing a crisp blue apron, _Kathy_ embroidered above her left breast. Ari swallowed audibly and raised her hand. “Hi, I’m Kathy and I’m going to be taking care of your 1 PM appointment. Have you had any similar services done in the past?”

“No,” Aurora shook her head, apprehension mounting in her chest making her dizzy. “I normally uh, take care of things myself.”

Kathy offered her a placating smile. “And when was the last time you’ve done that?”

Aurora’s face heated quickly, embarrassed to be having this conversation so openly. “Maybe two weeks ago?”

“Ah, okay so not too long.” Kathy glanced down as the technician finished adding the top coat to her pinky toe. “It looks like you’re done here. Let me help you to the room, it’s just this way.”

Aurora lifted her feet out of the tub and looked back at her friends with panic on her face.

Tosha reassured her, “You’ll be fine. Trust me. You took the Advil at lunch and she’s going to use a spray. It won’t hurt like you’re thinking.”

“We’ll meet you in the locked room when you’re done, okay?” Kailoni added.

“Okay,” Aurora said as she followed Kathy further into the salon.  

Approximately thirty-seven minutes later Aurora walked gingerly out of the wax room, following the signs that lead her back to the locker room. She gave Kailoni and Tosha a small thumbs up when she approached them.

“Well?” Kailoni prodded. “Verdict?”

Aurora sighed and pulled her robe open to show the women the small patch of hair a few inches above her womanhood.

“A heart? Oh E is going to like that!” Kaloni clapped.

“He can’t like something he won’t see,” Aurora said as she pulled the lilac colored lace up her thighs.

“You’re such a sourpuss, Ari,” Tosha said, shouldering her bag. “A pretty puss now, but still sour.”

Aurora slammed the door on their laughter. “Whatever! Let’s stop and _Jack In The Box_ on the way home.”

“Yes! I need some food before my big ass collapses!”

* * *

 

Aurora shoved the front door open with her shoulder, stumbling over to the couch to drop the heavy shopping bags off of her arms. She reached up and rubbed at her sore shoulder, gently cursing herself for not taking the help that Kailoni had offered to take the bags up to her apartment.

Ari collapsed on the empty side with a loud huff. “Fuck, I’m exhausted!” she moaned out pitifully.

Her phone buzzed twice in her back pocket and she lifted her hips to get it. It’s a text from Jade.

_How did the pussy turn out? She sittin’ pretty?_

Aurora giggled, only Jade could made question about a bikini wax this level of lewd.

She sent her a rolling eye emoji. _It was sitting pretty before the wax but yes. It’s nice. Thanks for askin’._

Aurora pulled herself off the couch, deciding to leave all the bags where they were until tomorrow, and headed for her bedroom. It was still pretty early in the night, just passed 7:40 but she could feel the exhaustion settling into her bones and making her eyelids heavy. She changed into an old Villanova t-shirt and stripped out of her jeans, not bothering to throw her clothes into the hamper.

 _Yeah, whatever. They took you to VS and give you the backpack like I told them to?_ Came Jade’s follow up text.

This time Aurora actually rolled her eyes.

_Yes, J. Although all I got was some panties from Pink. I don’t need lingerie to go out with my friend._

Kailoni and Tosha had been pretty lax when they had made it to _Victoria’s Secret._ They put up little protest when Aurora had told them she was not wearing a thong to the movies.

She had just folded back the covers on her bed when the reply came through.

_Bitches are gettin’ sawft. I can’t trust these niggas anymore. Oh, and btw the way, why you ain’t tell me Lucifer was out here sending ads for hell to your cell phone?_

Aurora wrinkled her brow in confusion before the picture Erik had sent her popped up on the screen.

“Fuckin’ LaTosha!” she growled, squeezing the phone in annoyance. When did she even _send_ the picture to Jade?

She sent a quick _You’re dead to me_ text to Tosha before putting her phone on do not disturb and settling in on her pillows.

Ari sighed deeply and closed her eyes. She would deal with them all tomorrow.

* * *

 

Aurora woke up with the sun the next day. Anxiety had caused her to have a night full of bizarre and lucid dreams that she couldn’t quite shake herself from. No matter how many times she shook herself awake it would pick up where it left off when she would fall back asleep. She sat there, trying to grasp the tendrils of the images as they slipped her mind but she couldn’t remember them all. A flash of gold teeth, a set of plump lips, bloody fingerprints and the lights of a cop car were the only things that her tired mind could recall.

Ari slapped her arm down on the mattress next to her, frustrated with her memory. She rolled out of bed, pulling on a pair of leggings, Erik’s hoodie and her all-black Air Max’s before walking down to the corner food mart for a bacon filled grilled cheese. She finished half the sandwich before making it back inside, humming _Normal Girl_ by SZA.

Aurora finished the other half at her kitchen island with a cup of fresh brewed chocolate glazed donut coffee as she booted up her laptop. It was only 10 AM and she needed something to fill the time. Her computer pinged alerted her to the new emails she had. She clicked the notification bubble, scanning her inbox to clear it of spam and advertisements. Kamia had sent her several emails over the past few days alerting Aurora of the process. _Red Hen_ was one hundred percent on board with the book tour and several venues had already been confirmed. Her lips curled in a small smile, Kamia was damn good at what she did, there was no denying that.

Ari pulled up the other email from her agent which held the paperwork they’d gone over at _Joe’s._ She double clicked the file that held the resumes remembering the few that Kamia had highlighted. Mitchell Owens for publicist and Jovan Rodriguez for media manager. She clicked on those two, reading them with a critical eye and checking their LinkedIn profiles. They both had glowing recommendations from B list celebrities and other members of the poetry community in the LA area. She sent those two along with three others she had looked at over to Kamia, making sure to cc Jade as well, requesting interviews with them on Thursday if possible.

 _Will do,_ came Kamia’s almost immediate answer.

Aurora laughed lightly wondering if the woman ever stopped working. She closed her laptop softly and looked at the time on her stove, shocked it was almost 1 PM. She still needed to wash and style her hair, take a shower and get dressed. Ari walked over to her couch and scooped up the bags to bring to her bedroom.

“First thing’s first,” Ari said aloud to herself as she began the time-consuming task of washing her hair. She grabbed all her hair products and connected her phone to the speaker in the bathroom. She aggressively rapped to Cardi B while detangling and washing her hair and body. She danced around her shower to _Drip,_ nearly slipping on a glob of conditioner in the process. She takes time to shave her body in all the necessary places before rinsing off and getting out.

She tied a cotton t-shirt around her wet hair, pulling her matching panty and bra set on before putting on her satin robe and sitting at her vanity. She admired her face in the mirror for a few minutes before freeing her hair.

Aurora decided to go for a basic look, adding three decent sized flat twists to the left side of her hair, and leaving her bang to dangle in front of her eye on the other side. The rest, she gathered up in a sleek high ponytail, two strands twisting it to take down when she was done.

After moisturizing her body she stands in front of the plethora of bags on her bed. The outfit they picked out yesterday was cute but not functional. Aurora still didn’t know where they were going and feared that she would be calling too much attention to herself the setting was lowkey. She traipsed over to her closet, bypassing the biker short set she had yet to wear and pulled out a comfy looking light sweater and leggings. _This_ was more her speed and what Erik was used to seeing her in. She pulled the articles on and was turning in the mirror to see if her panty line was too evident when her phone started to ring. She still had it on do not disturb so whoever was calling had to have so multiple times in a row. She grabbed it from her bed and huffed loudly.

A facetime call from Jade.

Aurora contemplated ignoring the call but she _knew_ her best friend. She would find any means to get a hold of her, even if that meant sending a legit carrier pigeon to her house. She swiped over to answer the call, making sure her face _showed_ how annoyed she was to do so.

“What?” she barked when Jade’s face appeared.

“No fucking ‘what’ bitch! I’ve been trying to reach you since last night,” Jade bellowed over the background noise from her end of the line. “Why your phone on do not disturb?”

Aurora flopped down onto her bed. “Because I didn’t want to be _disturbed,_ J.”

Jade looked down at the camera with a sneer. “When you gone start getting dressed? It’s almost three, what are you waiting on?”

She pulled the camera back a little to show that she was wearing clothes. “I _am_ dressed.”

Jade squinted into the camera, bringing her face closer to exam what she was wearing. “You’re joking, right? Where are the clothes you guys bought yesterday?”

“I decided to wear this instead.” Aurora supplied. “This is what Erik is used to seeing me wear. Why change it up now?”

Jade scoffed, “‘Why change it up now?’ she says. Probably because you guys are going _out_ and this isn't like every other time you guys hung out. Show the nigga you know how to be cute.”

Aurora glared at her. “I am cute, bitch.”

“I know,” Jade agreed. “Now it’s time to show him _date0-me_ cute and not _college-freshman-who-just-rolled-out-of-bed_ cute.” Aurora bit her lip, Jade _did_ have a point. She had worn nothing but comfortable lounge clothes around him. Besides the picture of her in the dress she’d sent weeks ago, Erik hadn’t seen much more of her fashion sense. Jade’s face softened at Aurora’s expression, sensing that she’d won.  “Put the outfit on sis. Lemme see it.”

She pursed her lips before she tossed braced the phone against one of her pillows and stepped back to undress.

“Oooowww!” Jade sang. “Take it off! Take it off!”

Aurora paused her hands on the hem of her shirt. “Can anyone see me on your end Jade?” She was _not_ giving someone else a show.

Jade waved a dismissive hand. “Nah, I’m at a table all the way in the back and we’re on break. No one is around me right now.”

She shrugged out of her sweater and reached into the shopping bags to get the clothes from yesterday. She ignored Jade’s _nice bra_ comment and focused on not tripping as she hopped into the jeans.

Aurora held her arms out for inspection after she’d finished dressing.

“What’s wrong with it, girl? I think you look cute.”

“Thanks,” Ari mumbled and ran a hand down her tummy. “I don’t know Jade, it feels like a little too much.”

“Too much what? Tummy? If the nigga gets a boner from looking at a belly button ring, he needs to grow up.” Aurora laughed at Jade’s look of disgust. “Speaking off, where is the bag I got you?”

Aurora pulled the pale rose gold bag from the bed, the color matched the straps on the heels they picked out yesterday. It was heavy, things knocking about inside it when she picked it up. “What’s in here?” She shook it gently.

“Open it,” Jade instructed.

Ari unlocked the front flap and peered inside to find an assortment of different accessories. She sat it down next to the phone and fished out a set of necklaces. A jaguar printed choker the first thing she notices. She ran her finger over it.

“To match the trinket of affection lover boy got you,” Jade smirked as she took a sip from her coffee cup. “You should wear that one.”

Aurora had to agree, it did match her necklace. She took it out of the set, slipping it over her neck and tried to clasp it but her new nails were hindering the process. “I can’t get it on.”

“Just tell Erik to put it on when he picks you up.” Jade paused, raising an eyebrow. “He _is_ picking you up, right?”

Aurora glanced at the clock again. “I don’t know, he didn’t say.”

“If he doesn’t Imma beat his ass,” Jade announced through clenched teeth. “Hurry up and take the rest out.

“Okay okay. Calm down, shit.” Aurora said. Jade was right, she was running out of time. She pulled out the rest of the items. Some cute hair clips and a set of rings from Tosha, new earrings from Kailoni, and a new belly button ring and the pair of Quay sunnies from Jade.

Aurora picked up the belly button ring, admiring the stone shining in the middle. “Is this real opal J?”

Jade nodded. “Yeah, and real platinum so don’t lose the shit, bitch.”

“ _Platinum_ ?” Aurora screeched. “Where the fuck did you even find this?”

“Net-A-Porter. What’s the problem?” Jade asked unfazed by Aurora’s outburst.

"Net-A-” Aurora slapped a hand over her face. “How much did you pay for this?”

“You think I paid full price don’t you?” Jade laughed lightly. “Relax I got it at a steal, trust me. Put everything on, including the shoes.”

Aurora dutifully put on the accessories,   grumbling under her breath about out of line friends and pushy women taking over her life. She fumbled with the belly button ring twice before she screwed it in securely. She walked over to her full-length mirror to admire her ears. It had been since she had put earrings in all of her piercings. She was surprised most of them weren’t close. The conch and pinna holes were the ones that hurt like a bitch and getting them redone was indeed not at the top of shit she wanted to experience.

Ari walked back over to her bed, sitting down to strap the death traps called shoes to her feet before she stood up and struck a pose for her laughing best friend. She crossed her arms over her chest, bending down to do the classic “jailhouse pose” the sunnies sitting on the tip of her nose.

Jade put a hand over her mouth to try to stop the flow of giggles. “You so fucking _dumb,_ Ari.”

Aurora pushed the glasses up and stood to her proper height. She turned around in a slow circle. “How do I look?”

Jade blew a kiss into the air. “Tu es belle!”

Aurora laughed and clapped at Jade’s corny accent. “ Merci beaucoup ma belle amie!”

“Whew!” Jade exclaimed, fanning herself exaggeratedly, she always loved when Aurora spoke French to her.. “Speak that hot shit to me bitch! You got my nani getting hot in front of all these execs.”

Aurora shook her head at her antics and walked over to her closet. She was already a little cold in her bedroom. Going out without a jacket seemed like suicide. “You sure I shouldn’t take a jacket?” she called out to Jade. “I think I have a leather one that goes well with this fit.”

She heard Jade smack her lips. “What did I say, Ari? You’re going to be around the devil incarnate himself for god knows how long. Let Satan keep you warm.”

Ari dropped her head, letting the jacket go in defeat. “Fine.” She emerged from the closet to pin her friend with a look. “But, if I get sick, _you’re_ taking care of me.”

“Bet! I’m great at taking care of the sickly.”

“The last time I got sick you sprayed me with Lysol and wouldn’t come within two feet of me.” Aurora crossed her arms. She could still taste the antibacterial spray at the back of her throat.

Jade mirrored her pose. “You got better didn’t you?”

“ _Five_ days later. After I self-medicated and ate my weight in soup!”

"I bought most of that soup,” Jade argued back.

Aurora pinched the bridge of her nose. “You left _one_ can outside of my door with a sticky note on it.”

“And that was the can that healed you. So, as I said, I’m good with sickly.” Aurora scoffed at her then. Ending the conversation. “Anywhom!” Jade pushed on. “I only have a few minutes left before this conference starts so it’s time for Jade’s sex lesson 28: road head.”

The smile melted off her face. “Good _bye,_ Jade.” She promptly hung up on her friend.

Aurora still had about twenty minutes before the time Erik set so she sat down to do some light makeup. Foundation, eyebrows, minor contour and her _Fenty_ highlight were applied to her face. She chose a nude lip gloss, not wanting to go for full glam.

Erik knocked on her door just as she was putting her keys, makeup wipes, and wallet into the bag. She looked at the time on her phone, 5:01 PM.

“Punctual as usual,” she whispered aloud, switching off lights and things as she made her way to the front of her apartment. She took a deep breath before opening the door.

Erik was standing there looking as edible as ever. He was sporting a lightweight pale pink windbreaker pullover, the bottom of white elongated t-shirt sitting against his green camo pants. She glanced down at his feet, a force of habit as Erik seemed to be an avid sneakerhead like herself.

“AirMax 97s,” she commented on the bronze _Nikes._ “Nice.”

Erik stared at her for a long moment, eyes tracking over he body a few time before he looked into her face with a heavy gaze that almost had her shrinking back. It was _intense._

He licked his lips, opening and closing his mouth a few times. He looked _stunned_ , his ears turning red at the tips again. Aurora smiled at him, super glad she had chosen to go with the outfit they had chosen. She stepped closer to him. “Hi.”

He pressed his lips into a thin line, pulling a single rose from behind his back and handing it to her clumsily. It was gorgeous. The nearly fully bloomed flower had a creamy yellow color faded into a vibrant red at the tips. She plucked it from his grasp and brought it up to her nose, inhaling the light fragrance deeply. It was soft against her lips.

“Thank you, it’s beautiful.”

Erik nodded his head again, still mute it seemed.

“Let me put this in some water and I’ll be right back, okay?”

“That’s fine,” he replied, finally finding his voice.

Aurora flashed a megawatt smile, before turning on her heel and walking to her kitchen. It had been months since she’d brought flowers for her home. She snapped a picture of it in the afternoon sun and sent it to the group chat before turning back to Erik. He was still in the open doorway, his eyes glued to her legs as she walked back over to him.

“Ready to go?” Ari questioned.

“Yeah,” Erik nodded looking at her face. “You look amazing.” He pulled her closer by her elbow and dropped a kiss to her cheek. Ari knew she would never get tired of that.

“Thank you,” she stuttered, closing and locking her door before turning around to take the arm he offered her. Her necklace! “Oh! Wait can you do me a favor?” she pulled the choker from her pocket. “I couldn’t put this on because of my nails. Help?”

He took the thin accessory from her hand, inspecting her nails for a second. “They look nice.”

“Thanks,” she said again, turning to let him put the necklace on her, a flashback of the last time he’d done this fleeting though her mind. She smiled. His finger brushed against the nape of he neck softly as he worked the clasp through the tiny loops on the opposite end. He tightened it slightly and let go. “That okay?” he questioned. Ari reached up to press into the jewelry. It was perfect, she told him as much. He bent down slightly before she got the chance to turn around. His nose brushing her skin. “You smell nice.”

Pleasure bumps broke out across her skin like gooseflesh. She turned then, retaking his arm. “Thank you.” His smile was almost bashful as he leads her over to the elevators.

“How was your day?” she questioned when they entered the cab.

“Pretty good, hung out with my boys the first half of the day. Played some ball with the kids down at the center. Ran some errands.” His eyes never left her face. “You?”

Aurora shook the image of him playing basketball shirtless with school kids from her mind. She had to keep her brain in PG mode tonight. She knew how perceptive he could be and she would be _damned_ if she made this awkward for both of them.

“Also pretty good. Spoke to Jade on the phone not too long ago.”

He grinned and lead her out of the elevator and building. “Oh yeah? How is Chucky's bride?”

Ari burst out laughing at that. “You two are a mess. She’s good in Vegas at some kind of editing conference.” Her face turned comically sour. “Still poking her nose in my business though.”

“You let her Princess. I’m starting to think you enjoy it.” Erik walked her around to the passenger side like he’d done before, opening the door and helping her inside the low and immaculately clean vehicle.

“Thanks,” she beamed at him. She reached over the console and popped the door open when he rounded the vehicle.

“That’s a first,” he stated with a grin when he ducked in next to her. He reached behind her seat and gave her a bottle of water. “It’s a long drive. Don't want you to get dehydrated.”

She popped the cap and took a swig. “You think I’m gonna talk your ear off, Stevens?”

He pulled out the lot and into traffic smoothly. “Oh, I’m hoping so, Greene.”

She snorted at him. “Okay, well then. First question. Where we goin’?”

“Movies,” he supplied.

Aurora shot him the dirtiest look ever. “Are you kidding?” She kissed her teeth at the shake of his head. “Take me back.”

He looked over at her alarmed. “Why?”

She pointed to her outfit. “I’m not wearing this to the movies. Imma look like a whole thot. I wanna change into something comfy.”

Erik’s shoulders relaxed at that, “One, you don’t look like a thot. You look sexy as hell.” Aurora whole body blushed. “Two, relax you’re fine. It’s not a conventional movie theater. Most people won't even see you.”

“Unconventional movie theater?” She questioned. “Like a drive-in?”

“Ding ding ding,” Erik sang out in the car. “Tell her what she’s won, John.”

She smacked his arm, biting her lip to keep the smile from spreading. “Ass. Okay fine. I’ll stay like this then.” If Erik was the only one looking at her she didn’t mind it.

He looked at the swatch of skin between her shirt and pants. “Damn right, you are.”

She crossed her arms and turned towards the window. “Perverted ass nigga.”

Her phone vibrates in her lap, a text from the group chat.

 _Have fun! We left some cash in the bag for you, just in case,_ Kailoni had sent. She was always the over planner of the group.

Aurora smiled, grateful anyway. _Thanks, mom!_

 _Take a pic with the nigga. We know y’all cute together._ Tosha added to which Aurora sent a thumbs up emoji.

 _Imma email my road head tips since ya ass hung up on me,_ Jade typed in all caps.

Aurora hit the home button. She wasn’t even going to acknowledge that. “Shit,” she said when she realized her phone was on thirteen percent. If it died, Tosha was going to have an entire SWAT team out looking for her.

“What’s wrong?” Erik asked as he switched over to the Interstate 5.

Aurora huffed, annoyed with herself for not charging her phone while she had done her hair. “My phone is going to die and my friends will def put out an APB for my ass if they can't reach me.”

“Don’t trip,” Erik opened the center console and pulled out a charger cable. “You’re gonna have to be the DJ though. Don’t play no wack shit.”

She took the cable from him, “I don’t have any wack music, sir. Miss me.”

He chuckled and waited for her to choose on a song. Aurora bit her lips, scrolling through her most listened to songs, thumb hovering over the Alina Baraz track before she selected it. _High,_ was one of her favorite tracks of the album. She just hoped Erik didn’t pay attention to the lyrics too closely.

He reached over and turned the volume up a bit, eyes glancing down at his radio display. “Her voice is familiar. You listen to her a lot?”

Ari nodded her head. “She’s a fave. Her voice is dope and she makes soft music.”

“Who else do you listen to?” Erik asked, leaning further back in his seat, fingers beating the melody onto his steering wheel.

“Soft Glas, Cautious Clay, Willow, Dreezy, Yuna, Jhene, Alissa Caro,” she rattled off, tapping her chin as she tried to think of some he may be more familiar. “I listen to mainstream shit too. Drake, Khelani, Beyonce, Travis Scott, 6lack, Kid Kudi, J. Cole, Kendrick. I like a little bit of everything.” Erik hummed and she looked back at him. “You?”

“A lot of the same,” he said. “ YG, Biggie, Ty Dolla, Ab-Soul, Trey, Eric Bellinger, SiR.”

“Ooh I love SiR,” Ari interrupted. “ What’s your favorite track? I like his entire November album.”

“That’s a good album. _Dreaming of Me_ is a good one. Have you heard Masego’s new album?”

She clapped. “You like Masego?! Yes! _Old Age_ with him and SiR is a great track.” She switched the song on in the car. “You’re full of surprises, kid,” she jested poking him in the side. “I would’ve never thought you listen to him.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, baby,” Erik said winking at her.

“Ok, then tell me about yourself then ” Ari said after a beat. She didn’t trust herself to ask the questions. Too afraid of offending him somehow.

“Well,” he started with a dramatic sigh. “I’m thirty-three, a Scorpio, I like long walks down the hall to annoy my cute ass neighbor.”

“Har fucking har, guy,” Aurora said dryly. “Be serious.”

He looked over at her for a second. “You gonna answer my questions if I answer yours?”

She nodded without a second thought. “Yup,” she would if it meant that she learned anything about him.

“What’s your favorite color?” she asked trying to keep it light in the beginning. “Mine is purple.”

“Purple. The color of royalty, power, and ambition. Interesting,” he said stroking his chin. “Red.”

She cocked her head to the side to study him, amazed but not surprised by the depth of his knowledge. “What does red mean?”

Erik smirked at her, it held a dark edge to it. More sensual than volatile. “That’s not a question about me Princess. Besides, it’s my turn.

She rolled her eyes, making a get on with it gesture with her hand. She would look it up later.

“Why are you single?” Erik asked.

She balked for a second, he was cutting to the quick. “Wow, just coming out shootin’ huh?”

He chuckled at her expression. “I’ve wanted to know for a long time. Carpe noctem, baby girl.”

She shook her head at his use of the Latin term. _Seize the night indeed._

Aurora sighed. “I just didn’t want to be in a relationship after…” she paused trying to phrase it correctly. For the first couple of months after her “break up” she was pretty much depressed. She barely moved outside of getting up to eat and write. She stayed away from her friends, secretly waiting until the day when Michael walked back into her life. It wasn’t until Jade and Kailoni had finally staged an intervention, forcing her to move into a new apartment and look for work that she started to live again. It took much coaxing from her family and friends to get her to come back to herself. The minor success of her book played as a form of therapy but really she was just locking her emotions deeper within herself. Pretending everything had never happened and grasping tightly to the happiness in front of her. No one she had broken as soon as she was forced to look at her past. Erik did that. He helped her in a way that she would forever be grateful for. She looked back at his face, realizing she hadn’t finished answering the question. “My last one. I guess for a time I couldn’t be? I had to get over the shit that happened to me.” She gazed out of the mirror at the traffic they were flying past. The car ran so smoothly she had no clue how fast they were truly going. “I guess I still hadn’t started to get over it until recently. Things are getting better though.”

“And now?” Erik asked, looking more at her than at the road.

“That’s   questions, E,” she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’ll give you a bonus question,” he tempted her.

Aurora rubbed her hands against her pants. Now? She could feel herself growing stronger every day. Letting the past go little by little and coming to terms with the things done to her. Now, she was eager to talk to Erik every day and even greedier for his company. Now, all she thought of most of the time was his lips and how much she missed them against her own. Now, she wanted everything she thought she had but with him. For real.

“Now, I’m getting there,” she whispered.

Erik seemed pleased enough with that answer, nodding his head once, eyes going back to traffic.

“Dare I ask about your relationship status?” Ari prodded. “All the hearts you’ve left in tatters in the past and may be present?”

He laughed at that. “You callin’ me a fuckboy again, Princess?”

She shook her head, hoop earing jingling in her ear. “Nah, you don’t have to be a thot to break hearts.”

“I guess that’s true,” he agreed, fingers tightening on the wheel. “Would you believe me if I said I’ve never been in a relationship?”

“Fuck no,” she laughed brightly. No way was that true but his facial expression said otherwise. “Erik Stevens! You’ve _never_ been in a relationship?”

He shrugged. “I never had time. When I got out of high school I joined the Navy. Went through boot camp and graduated top of my class at Annapolis at nineteen. Grad school at MIT then I went through training to become a SEAL. Doesn’t leave much room for an actual relationship.”

Aurora stared at him hard. She knew _nothing_ about the man before her. Grad school? He had told her once before that he was a SEAL but the weight of that knowledge didn’t hit her until just now. Erik was every inch the intelligent and capable man she thought him to be but much _more._ And Aurora was in awe of him.

“You look surprised,” he smirked. “I told you I was more than a pretty face, Princess.”

“I mean, yeah,” Ari said when she was done gaping at him. “But grad school? I had no clue.”

He looked extremely smug then. “Yeah, I have my Doctorate in engineering.”

Her mouth hung even lower. “You’re a freaking _doctor?”_ Lord have mercy on her soul. Intelligent men. Another weakness.

Erik outright laughed at that. “What? Like it’s hard?”

“Did you just quote _Legally Blonde?”_

He winked at her then. “A man of many talents.”

“I see,” she said laughingly. Shook wasn’t even the correct term for what she felt for this man. She wracked her brain, too many questions firing off in her mind at the same time. She wanted to know _everything._ About his family, friends, history, interests.

The music cut out in the car, replaced with the generic iPhone ringtone, _Maman_ pops up on the caller ID on Erik’ stereo.

“Shit,” she cussed. “You mind?”

Erik shook his head. “Nah, go ahead.”

“Thanks,” she answered the phone, ensuring the audio was coming from her phone and not the car. “Hi, Ma.”

“Pourquoi bonjour mon petit bug _(Oh hello my little bug)_ , you remember your mother?” Donna Greene accused making Ari grimace. It had been entirely too long since she called her mom. They had email and text correspondences but she rarely went this long without calling her. She knew she was in for it.

“Désolé maman _(Sorry Mom_ ), the past few weeks have been hectic.” That was putting it mildly. Her life felt more and more like a whirlwind.

“Mmm, yes I heard,” voice telling she knew almost everything.  “The book tour sounds fun.”

“Of course you have,” she sighed. She was going to have a very long conversation with Jade when she got back. There was a chance Jade’s mom had spilled the beans, as their moms were also besties, but _still._ Couldn’t anything just stay between the two of them?

Her mom laughed lightly at her daughter’s dry tone. “But your _date_ sounds even more fun.”

Aurora smacked the phone against her head before bringing it back to her ear. “I'm going to kill Jade.” Erik laughed softly next to her.

“Oh ne soit pas comme ça _(dont be that way)_ ma petite puce. Well...” her mom’s voice trailed off,  sounding expectant.

“Really?” Aurora groaned. How was this her life.“We have to do this now?”

Donna tsked in her ear. “Don’t be like that, Ari. Tell me about him. Is he handsome?”

She glanced at Erik quickly, his eyes were still on the road, body lax. She couldn’t weasel her way out of this so she switched tactics. “Oui maman il est beau _(Yes, mom he’s handsome)_.”

“ Nous passons au français?” Her mother outright giggled like a child forcing a smile out of her. _(Il doit être_ avec toi _? (We’re switching to French? He must be with you?)_

“ Il est juste à côté de moi. Avons-nous vraiment besoin de le faire maintenant? _(He’s right next to me. Do we_ really _need to do this right now)_ ”

“Oui. Où allez-vous tous les deux à cette date? _(Yes, we do. Where are you two going on this date?)_ ” Her mother pressed on. This is why Ari rarely told her about men. She could be as bad as her girls.

Aurora was getting agitated, knew bouncing up and down in her chair. She wanted so bad to just _hang up_ on this entire conversation but she would never be that rude to her mother. “Ce n’est pas un rendez-vous que maman allait au cinéma. _(It’s not a date mom were just going to the movies.)_ ”

“Et aller au cinéma ne peut pas être un rendez-vous?” Donna argued. “Cela ressemble à une date pour moi. _(And going to the movies cant be a date? That sounds like a date to me.)_ ”

She pinched the bridge of her nose tightly, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees. “  
Nous ne sommes pas comme cette maman, nous n'étions que des amis. _(We aren't like that mom, we're just friends._ )” She felt like a one trick pony with how many times she’s repeated that same phrase. Why couldn’t everyone just accept the truth?

 _Because it isn't the truth,_ her subconscious singsonged. It seems like even she was fed up with herself.

Her mom took an uncharacteristic pause and Aurora cringed. Whatever she was about to ask, it was going to be significant. “Est-ce qu'il t'a acheté des roses? _(Did he bring you any roses?)”_

Of course, that’s what she was asking. Her mother was a floriculturist and owned her own gardening company. She could read anyone based on the types of flowers and houseplants the purchased and did so. Often. “How did you know?” Aurora asked in English.

She could hear the wide grin in her mother’s voice when she spoke next. “He’s a proper boy then. What color was it?”

Aurora sat up with a triumphant smirk, sure that this information would get her mother off her back for a while when it came to the man next to her. He had a small smile on his lips and Ari wondered if he understood their conversation before dismissing the idea altogether. She couldn’t give him _all_ the credit. He was only human after all. “Jaune avec des pointes rouges. Voir maman amitié _(Yellow with red tips. See mom friendship_ ).”

Donna let out a peel of raucous laughter at that. It made Ari second guess herself immediately. “Oh mon petit insecte. Cela signifie beaucoup plus que l'amitié. C’est le signe d’un homme qui tombe amoureux. _(Oh my little bug. That_ mean _much more than friendship. That’s the sign of a man falling in love)_.”

“Huh?” Aurora asked, spinning through her limited knowledge of flowers, she learned from sitting in the greenhouse with her mother in France. Yellow most certainly meant friendship...did the red change it somehow?

Her mother took a moment to collect herself, bits of laughter still escaping her hear or there like the air leaking out of a balloon. “Vous feriez mieux de vous assurer de l'amener en Arizona. Vous n'êtes pas autorisé à vous marier sans ma permission. _(You better make sure you bring him to Arizona. You are not allowed to get married without my permission_ ).”

“Really mom, you’re being a  little ridiculous at this point.”

“Sure I am baby. Tell him I said hi. Love you. Call me later.” Donna smacked a kiss into the receiver.

“Will do. Love you too mom.”

Aurora stared at the phone for a second after her mother hung up, mind still reeling.

“Sorry about that,” she apologized, not looking up at Erik.

“Don’t apologize,” he told her gently. “It sounded like she was excited to talk to you.”

She glanced at him then, most of the conversation was in French. Doubt about her earlier conclusion returned. Maybe he meant the inflection in her voice.“Yeah, I haven’t called her in a while.”

A comfortable silence descended on the two of them as Aurora fought the urge to google the meaning of the rose color to prove her mother wrong. Or right. She turned her phone over in her palm. A man falling in love? Erik. In love. With her. Her heart beat hard in her chest. Impossible. They knew nothing about each other, the game of twenty-one questions they were just having showed just that. And Erik had admitted he’d never been in a relationship before. It would be highly improbable that he could have any feelings that strong for her this quickly.

 _Improbable, not in impossible._ She bit her lip. That was...true. But still...

He cleared his throat, calling her attention to him. “Je ne savais pas que vous parliez français. Est-ce votre langue maternelle? Votre accent est sans faille. _(I didn’t know you spoke French. Is it your mother tongue? Your accent is flawless.)_ ”

Aurora had never felt shook so strongly in her life. She swatted his arm hard. “You little bastard. You spoke French that entire time, you eavesdropping hussy!”

Erik laughed heartily, blocking her next few swings with a smooth hand. “Calm down, Ari. It’s not like you fuckin’ asked me before you started talking,” he stated. “And is it eavesdropping if I can’t tune out the conversation? Y’all were loud as hell.”

She puffed her cheeks out before sitting back in her seat correctly. “You could have tried.” She knew she was being petulant, but really? She didn’t care. Erik had heard every single thing her mom and she had spoken of and she was mortified. Beyond that actually.

“It’s not like y’all said some shit I didn’t already know,” he said, exiting the highway and merging onto local roads. “You also didn’t answer my question, Princess.”

Aurora rolled her eyes. “Don’t tack the Princess on the end of that shit. I’m still mad at you.”

He pushed her puff out cheek with his finger and she mimed biting him. “That’s fine but you gone answer the damn question.”

“Yeah, my family is from France. I was born there. Moved here when I turned five. After my father died.” She squinted trying hard, trying to remember his face. She could make out kind eyes and a smile identical to her own. His honey voice singing to her gently. She missed him.

“Hmm, I’ll ask you more on the drive back,” Erik relented, making a sharp right turn into a lot.

“We’re here?” Aurora asked, pressing herself into the glass of the window. _South Bay Triple Drive-In._ It sat right at the edge of the water. The softly transitioning sky beautiful above two huge screens in front of them. Erik parked the car in the middle row, facing the rightmost screen, away from the setting sun.

“Yup,” he said, cutting the engine and turning towards her. HIs face was the softest she’d seen it yet. Eyes far away, like he was replaying a fond memory. “My pops used to take me here every weekend during the summer. I never cared what we watched, I just loved being under the stars with my dad. Eating popcorn and laughing at zombie flicks.”

Her smile was ripped from her face. “Zombies?” she asked panicking. “You know I don’t like zombies, Stevens.”

He chuckled, fishing the tickets from his pocket and handing it to the clerk that came to the window. “Calm down, Ari. We’re not seeing a zombie movie. We’re seeing two 90s classics. _House Party_ and _A Vampire in Brooklyn._

Aurora’s brow furrowed. She hadn’t seen either of those movies but she was down nonetheless. “Snacks?”

He popped his door open. “Of course, we can go get some. Stay there.” He climbed out of the car and came over to open her door for her. _Again._

She smiled at him as she swung her bag over her shoulders. “I guess I’m gonna have to get used to that huh?”

“Guess so, Princess,” he said offering his arm. She took it, looking down at the gravel as they walked, scared she was going to trip on a bigger rock. They walked over to the building that held the concession stand. She shivered slightly as she entered the air-conditioned room.

“Good thing I brought a blanket with me,” Erik commented, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, his hand rubbing up and down her arm.

 _Let Satan keep you warm!_ Jade’s voice interrupted her thoughts. They walked around the store, looking at the surprisingly decently priced snacks. Ari grabbed a box of goobers and bottle of water, having finished hers in the car. Erik surprised her when he selected a bag of starburst flavored gummy bears and a ginger ale.

“I’m stealing some of those,” she announced, pointing at the bag. She had always wanted to try them but couldn’t quite justify buying the large sized bag the store near her carried.

“Nah, I’m getting another one then,” he said with a shake of his head, his freshly twisted locs bouncing around his head like a halo. She giggled, walking over to look another aisle where the cookies were held.

“Ooh did you see that fine ass nigga near the candy, Yolanda?” A girl with a neon green quick weave asked the curvy woman next to her. Aurora could only characterize the girl as _bad._ She had an hourglass figure encased by the barely there tube topped mini dress. Her ample bosom leaking over the top invitingly. Aurora tugged at her crop top, jealous of the girl's cup size. She _wished._

“The one with the dreads?” The IG model asked. “Yes, hold my coke, Imma go shoot my shot.”

Aurora walked around the other side of the aisle slowly and covertly, trying not to be seen. She watched as the girl approached Erik, twirling her wavy hair around her finger in a way that looked naturally flirty. Another trait Ari didn't possess. This was the kind of woman Erik deserved. A buxom beauty to match his swag and physical presence. Not some mousy girl who shied away from most men.

“Wassup handsome?” Yolanda asked, walking directly up to him with Green Quick Weave in tow. “You gone buy me some snacks?”

Erik didn’t look up at her, moving a few items in front of him to the side. “And why would I do that?” Aurora's eyes widened. She had never heard Erik’s voice like that. Bored. Annoyed. _Dismissive._ A sick wave of happiness rolled around in her belly and she felt terrible. She shouldn’t be happy that he was curving this girl. But there she was.

“Whatchu mean?” The girl asked, undeterred. _Bold_ , Ari thought. “So we can share them, duh.”

Erik looked over at her then, grabbing the gummy bears and straightening his back. “Why would I do that? I ain't come here with you. You came here with ya lil girlfriend right.”

Yolanda shrugged, placing her hand on Erik’s chest, bubblegum pink nails digging in slightly. “True, but I can leave with you if you want.”

Aurora moved to leave, not wanting to hear Erik’s answer to that, when she knocked over a few boxes of candy on the endcap she was squatting next to.

“Fuck,” she hissed harshly knowing she was found. She put the boxes back and looked back at the scene from before, finding three sets of eyes on her. “Uhh,” she said before waving the box of candy in her hand feebly.

“These the ones you wanted, Princess?” Erik asked, holding the bag of gummies up in hand. Ari just nodded her head at him.

Yolanda rolled her eyes at her. “Oh, that’s ya type. My bad.” She said throwing Ari an annoyed look. “Have a fun night with _Princess_ then.”

“Oh we will,” Aurora found herself saying. This bitch had some nerve looking down on her. She may not have her video vixen body but she would be damned if she let her talk down on her.

Yolanda looked like she wanted to say something.

“What she said,” Erik interjected, turning his back on her and making his way over to Aurora, who straightened her spine with every step he took. She boldly grabbed his arm in a flash of possessiveness and walked to the front of the store with him.

Erik chuckled, “You were just gonna let homegirl eat me, huh?”

Ari looked him up and down, “That’s what you get for looking edible then. You’re fault, not mine.” They got in the line, Erik looking down at her with a huge smile. “What?” she questioned.

“You think I look good, Princess?” He asked brushing her ponytail back from her ear, tugging playfully on her lobe. “I like your earrings.”

“Thanks,” she said pushing his hand away from the sensitive skin. “And _duh_. Every woman and man here thinks you’re attractive.

“Ain’t worried about them though,” Erik said without pause. “I asked you.”

Aurora looked up in his eyes, her expression serious. “Yes, I think you’re attractive. But you heard me tell my mom that _apparently._ ”

“Oh yeah,” he laughed.

They were called up next, Erik ordered a bucket of extra buttery popcorn to go with their other snacks.

“I want to pay,” Aurora said, slipping her bag off her shoulders, to get the wallet she hoped she had remembered in her haste to leave.

“I got it, Ari,” Erik told her reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his thin Yves Saint Laurent wallet.

Aurora pursed her lips at it, she knew by Erik’s car, clothes and the decor in his apartment that he had money, but she had never put much thought in it. Now that she thought of it, Erik never seemed like money was a problem. He had paid for mostly everything and turned down her offer to pay for gas anytime the conversation came up. She didn’t want him thinking that she was a gold digger or a mooch. She may not have a steady income or a nine to five job, but she was perfectly capable of paying her way.

“No please, let me?” she asked, batting her eyelashes and giving him a small pout.

Erik huffed a laugh, taking a step back and sweeping an arm out in front of him. “Go ahead then.”

Aurora smiled big and gratefully at him, rifling through the bag for a moment and coming up empty-handed. She eyed the small pocket at the front, wondering if she had slipped a pocket wallet in it. She zipped it part of the way and noticed the quick flash of green. _Cash!_ Her girls had given her spending money, bless their hearts! She unzipped the pocket a quickly and yelped when a flurry of gold fluttered to the floor. Her confusion quickly morphed into utter embarrassment when she realized what they were.

Condoms. Magnum condoms.

“Oh my fucking gooooood,” she whispered to herself panicky as she bent down to quickly pick up the foil wrappers. “I’m going to fucking _murder_ them,” she hissed.

Erik’s boom of laughter had her attempting to pick up the prophylactics faster, her new nails not helping the process.

“Really, Princess?” he asked bending down and plucking one out of her hand. “You paying in sex girl?”

Aurora ripped the condom from his hand and shoved into her bag with the other _hundred_ that dropped. “I didn’t do it, it was Jade!” she growled at him, reaching for the last one between his feet only to have him beat her to it.

“She always fucking with you,” Erik said with a smile and shake of his head, studying the square intently. He handed it back to her with a grin. “At least she got the size right.”

Aurora blinked a few times before looking down at the packet. _Trojan Magnum-XL._ She squeaked and stuffed the condom back into her pocket, zipping it up with much more force than needed. Erik continued laughter making her blush even more.

_Well, at least you got your confirmation sis._

She pulled the small square of green that was hidden behind all the condoms out of the pocket before zipping the bag up and handing it over to the bored looking attendant. Zach gave her the change back and Ari all but ran from the building.

Erik’s laughter followed her. “Don’t fall trying to get away from the place. We stuck here for the next four hours anyway.”

She flipped him off and quickly got into his car, already plotting her revenge on her friends.

“Fucking old meddling bitches!” she stomped, putting the drinks in the cup holder just as Erik got in the car.

“Didn’t I tell you to get used to me opening the doors for you?” He said passing the popcorn bucket to her.

“You move too slow.” She answered nodding at him when he offered her hand sanitizer.

“Whatever,” he replied, turning the car on and tuning the radio into the channel on the screen. “You’ve never seen either of these have you?”

She shook her head as sound filled the car, the previews starting. They had made it back just in time.

Erik kissed his teeth and opened their drinks. “We’re having a marathon soon. These are black staples.”

The film started up soon after, Ari and Erik’s soft munching barely audible over the sound of iconic hip-hop music. Aurora laughed until her sides hurt. Kid and Play were instant faves. The vibrant colors and retro clothes were strangely nostalgic to her even though she didn’t get the full experience of it. Her mother hadn’t dressed her like that when they first migrated to the states.

Aurora fought the urge to cover her eyes when the slightly sexual scene between Kid and Sydney came up. Watching this with Erik so close to her, his smell still there under the popcorn had her wanting to squirm in her seat. She let go of a silent breath when the characters realized the condom was too old to use.

She’s holding onto Erik’s arm laughing at the end of the film.

“Was that the roof from the beginning of the movie?” she questioned with tears in her eyes.

Erik is chuckling just as hard, her energy infectious. “Yeah, Princess. God, you made that movie so much funnier, man.”

Her smile lingered even longer because of that. “What time does the second one start? I gotta pee.”

“We got like fifteen minutes. I’ll go after you.”

“Kay,” she said exiting the car and following the trail of women all going the same place. She sent an updated text to the group chat, letting them know she was having a great time.

 _Don’t forget to take a picture!_ She was reminded.

She ignored the look Yolanda threw at her as she exited the bathroom and made it back over to the car.

“Alright, be right back,” Erik said when she got back in.

He left his cell phone in the center console and it lit up with a notification. Aurora rolled her lips in contemplation. She knew she shouldn’t go through his phone. It wasn’t right. But..she was curious. She picked it up and noticed he had a ridiculous amount of Instagram notifications. Over 90 at that point. He also had two texts from a person name Challa and another from Desia. Her’s being the most recent.

Aurora knew that they were business partners. But to text him on a Saturday past 7 PM was something entirely different.

She placed his phone back where she found it and rolled information over in her head. Erik did say he was planning a birthday party for her and that she was his _ace._ But what did that mean? The woman didn’t seem like anything more than a friend on FaceTime. Calling her pretty and telling Erik “good job.” But that could be a front, couldn’t it? She didn’t know what to believe. She pushed past it. They were at the movies enjoying each other’s company. She didn't want to ruin that.

Erik popped the door opened and got into his seat. “Did you miss me?” He asked.

Aurora shivered with the air that followed him. Nodding her head at him.

He kissed his teeth. “Shit I forgot you were cold before. Hold on.” He got back out, popping the trunk and grabbed a thick flannel blanket. He spread it over the two of them when he got back in. “Better?”

She pulled it up to her chin. “Much thanks.”

He smiled at her, reaching over to kiss her cheek.

She smiled at him, touching the spot where his lips had been.

Erik picked up his phone, checking the messages with a shake of his head and a grin. Jealousy gripped Ari again and she attempted to distract herself with her messages before she remembered. She opened her camera app and faced it to the two of them.

“Erik,” she called him to get his attention. He looked up, noticing the camera and stuck his tongue out. Aurora mirrored his expression, taking a few shots before giving up and laughing in the last two. She shifted through the pictures with a smile. They looked good together, she had to admit that.

"Lemme see,” Erik requested. Aurora turned the phone towards him, swiping through the images. “Send me the last two,” he said.

Butterflies filled her tummy as she did what he requested. Sending the same two to the group chat. The last one of the both of them smiling she made his contact picture.

“The next one is kinda scary, you ready for this?” Erik said with a somber tone.

Aurora looked at him in alarm. “How scary?”

He held out his palm, serious expression on his handsome face. “You might wanna hold my hand.”

She skeptically places her hand in his as the movie starts on the screen. _A Vampire In Brooklyn_ is _not_ a scary movie. Sure there is blood and sex and a little “gore” but it’s more entertaining than it is scary. Still, Ari kept her hand in Erik’s over the blanket and in his lap.

She squeezes it in anticipation at the last fight between Justice and Max, genuinely shocked when Rita chooses humanity over everlasting life. She knows what she would have chosen.

She glances over at Erik, imagining him as a vampire for a second. Long golden incisors. He had the sexual energy to be one. She did not doubt in her mind that she would join him in immortality.

The credits start after Julius announces himself as the new vampire in Brooklyn and Aurora squints her eyes at the man next to her.

“You know,” she begins, hand still in his, “if you wanted to hold my hand you could’ve just asked, Stevens.

Erik lifted a brow at her in challenge. “If you didn’t want to hold mine, you would have let go when you realized it wasn’t scary, Princess.”

“Uh huh,” she responds. “Take me to get something to eat, I’m starving.”

He smiled at her, bringing their joint hands to his mouth, lips grazing her skin deliciously as he spoke. “As soon as you let go of my hand, baby.”

Aurora pulls her hand away from him abruptly with an attitude. “Food, please.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Erik pulled the car out of the lot and onto the highway.

They were quiet on the way back. _The Bay_ by Soft Glas playing off Ari’s phone as she watched the lights from the cities over the mountain wink against the inky black of the sky. She could see a few more stars than usual from here. The full moon enraptured her when she found it hanging in large and celestial in the air, adding to the softness of the moment. She had a great time with Erik. She usually did but tonight was _more._ Maybe it was because they’d left the apartment, or the energy the movie theater brought to them, but she didn’t want the moment to end, even as they were living it. He looked peaceful too. The moon shining in through his sunroof, bouncing of his hair and skin. He always seemed to glow when she was around him. It was part of the reason she was falling for him so hard. In the bleakness of her life the past two years, he was that pop of color and light she needed. He felt like the first sip of tea after being out in the rain. Or curling up next to the fire in France during the winter months. He was both old experiences and new ones. A delightful mesh of both her past and future combined. He felt like coming home and she didn’t know what to make of that. It scared her but she welcomed it.

She wondered if he felt the same way about her.

He looked over to her then and she froze. His gaze was heavy again. Emotions barely contained behind his large irises.

“What?” she asked after a heavy minute.

He shook his head, eyes turning back to the road. “ _In n Out_ okay? It’s the first thing off of our exit.”

“That’s fine. I can eat a whole double-double right now.” She patted her growling stomach. “And a large fry.”

“And a strawberry milkshake?” Erik asked with a knowing grin?

“Yup,” she said.

“Cool, Imma have the same. But animal style,” he said pulling off at their exit.

Aurora grinned lewdly at him. “Of course you are.”

He laughed loudly at her. “Okay, now who’s the perv, Ari?”

She held out her hands. “I have my moments.”

He ordered their food and check his phone when he pulled up behind the car at the pickup window. “Desia said we look cute,” he told her passing her his phone.

She took it and laughed at the sheer amount emojis that followed the _Yall is kah-cute!_ Message. He’d sent her the first picture with his tongue out.

Aurora laughed and passed it back to him, feeling reassured about his friend again. “She uses the same amount of emoji’s like my friend Kailoni. Obnoxious for no reason.”

Erik agreed, pulling up to the window and paying for the food. He passed her the bags before sitting the drinks in the cup holder.

“Had fun?” he asked when they were around the corner from the apartment. “Don’t eat all the damn fries girl.”

She passed him a few, feeding him as he pulled off when the light changed. “Yeah, I had a lot of fun. You?”

He nodded as he chewed. “Always do when I’m with you though. What’s new?”

“Awwww! You like me, Stevens!!” She gushed, pinching his cheek with salty fingers.

“Duh!” he mocked her tone earlier.

She let it go, sure he was joking. “I’m ready to get out of these damn shoes though,” she groaned when he pulled into the parking lot of their apartment.

He killed the engine and put his phone and keys in the pocket of his windbreaker. “Want me to carry you?”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not that bad, I’ll survive.”

He got out the car and Aurora dutifully waited for him to come around to open her door. “Offer still stands.”

She got out on wobbly ankles. The shoes felt heavier than they had a few hours ago. She looked up at him with a grimace. “Hold my hand”

“Aight,” he said. Takin’ his drink from her. Their food bags in her backpack. “This is a romantic way of ending the night. You gone kiss me in front of my door, Princess?”

She glared up at him. “You _wish_. You owe me a foot massage though.”

“Done,” he agreed easily. “You gotta give me one after though.”

“Fuck no!” she laughed loudly, glancing around the block to see if anyone heard that less than ladylike exclaim. Her eyes fell on the patrol car sitting across the street. It stirred something in her mind. She could’ve sworn she’d seen the same one outside the last few weeks. Strange, this was a decent area, not close enough to the local high school to worry about messy teenagers and not too many black people for the cops to bother. Yet she knows it's the same cruiser. The number 027 on the side was too familiar. Something wormed uncomfortably in her gut.

“You okay, Princess?” Erik asked glancing over at the cop car with a clenched jaw.

“Yeah,” she said distractedly before heading back to the building, unaware that she had stopped walking. “It’s just weird to see a police car hanging out here.”

As if on cue, the car pulled off.

“They probably had nothing better to do. C’mon let’s get you inside. You’re shivering.”

She nodded, following Erik into the building. She wanted to believe him. But it didn’t _feel_ like nothing.

She could only pray she was right.

* * *

drop _a comment dolls._


	15. Erik's Interlude III - Temptaion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look y’all. I’m not saying something nasty happens in this chapter. But I’m also not not sayin something nasty happens in this chapter. Relax, it’s not completely what you think it is lol. Hey y’all, welcome back to my fic. It’s ya girl Ash Kash here with another update. Look at me, giving y’all something new so quickly. *pats self on the back* I didn’t obsess over this chapter the way I thought I would. It was kinda hard to write towards the end but I think I did an okay job considering this was my first time trying to write something like that. If you hate it, sorry. If you like it, sorry lol. I know there’s better shit written out there but I wont get to that level if I don’t try. And try I did. 
> 
> Suggested Listening: Fallen, Jaden Smith. Chill, Trey Songz.

Erik's Interlude III - Temptation

Erik pulled into a vacant spot in the lot and cut the engine to his NSX before he rubbed a tired, agitated hand down his face. Today had been  _trying_. Between his assistant forgetting to submit the FOIA request like he’d requested earlier in the week and the notice from Shuri that Miah had yet to return to Wakanda, he was more than a little annoyed. He blew out a harsh breath before grabbing his leather  _Edmond_  briefcase and navy blazer from the backseat, exiting the vehicle. He swiveled his head around quickly, looking for a familiar black Dart, his heart falling when he realized she wasn’t home.

He sniffed a laugh knowing that Desia would be calling him sprung if she’d the disappointment on his face. The engineer was almost relentless when he’d seen her at work Monday. Erik had called her when he’d come home from his date with Aurora as promised, spilling more details about the date then he would have done with anyone else. That lead to one smug woman when he’d stepped into the office two days later.

_“Is that a little spring in ya step I see there, Stevens?” Desia asked him when he walked into the revolving door on the cool March morning. She handed him a Starbucks cup out of the carrier in her right hand, studying him with humorous scrutiny as they headed towards the elevator._

_Erik rolled his eyes playfully at her. “Good Morning, Mrs. Haynes,” he greeted his friend dryly, taking a tentative sip of his coffee. Black, two pumps of coconut and a scoop of brown sugar. Just like he liked._

_“Oooh someone is a little spicy this morning,” she chided him gently once the elevator doors closed. “You would think you’d be in a good mood since your Princess went out with you this weekend. Still upset she didn’t kiss you in front of her door?”_

_Erik shook his head at her antics, thoroughly amused but refusing to show it. Lest she keeps it going the whole day._

_“You done?” He held no regrets on telling her about the date, he expected the playful harassment. Just not the first thing in the morning. The elevator opened, letting them out onto the 21st floor. The sunlight pouring in from the floor to ceiling windows shined cheerily against the bronze of the hallway walls, bathing the area in a bright gold. Erik loved this time in the office almost as much as he loved it at dusk. The world was still quiet. The calm before the raging storm of the business day. He greeted a few of his colleagues as they passed with a courteous head nod and a closed-lipped smile._

_“Not even close.” Desia followed him towards his office. She was his first meeting that morning, they had booked two hours to solidify the plans for the Flint site that they had spoken about the day before over pizza and beer at her place. It was foolproof and sound enough that he knew even T’Challa’s soft ass would buy into it._

_Desia stopped in front of his admin’s, Kali, desk._ _“Mawnin’ Kay,” she greeted the energetic woman warmly, pulling another cup out of the carrier and handing it over. “How was your weekend?”_

_“It was short but sweet,” Kali said, pulling out the files Erik had emailed her about the night before. She handed them to Desia in exchange for her drink. “I had a nice dinner with my husband to celebrate hi birthday, Saturday.” She looked over at Erik at that, a smile in her eyes. “Good morning, Mr. Stevens. Thanks for the gift card. That was unexpected.”_

_Erik nodded at her in greeting, happy to know they had enjoyed his gift. Kali had been a godsend when he’d finally relented and gotten an administrative assistant. The threatening emails from the finance and legal departments halted almost immediately after she’d gotten there. His office was always stocked, expense reports were submitted on time, and her planning skills were immaculate. He honestly didn’t know what he’d do without her._

_“Oh, I’m glad,” Desia said with a warm expression. She glanced up to see Erik watching the entire exchange._

_He hadn’t realized they were so close. It was refreshing to see his friend make pleasant with someone outside of him for a change. Maybe he could stop worrying so much about her social life soon…_

_Desia turned back to Kali with a sharp smirk, eyes almost too bright in her face._ _“Hey Kay,” she called the woman’s attention back to her with a saccharine voice. “Can you set up some travel plans for your grumpy old fart of a boss over here?”_

_Kali turned to him slowly, grey eyes  large and worried. “I didn’t know you needed me to set up…” she trailed off. Erik’s equally confused expression didn’t ease the woman’s worry. Kali turned back to Desia when she chuckled._

_“Oh no sis, this is new but rather urgent. He needs to catch a flight to Arizona. As soon as possible. This weekend if you can book it.”_

_Erik rolled her eyes, unlocking the door to his office. His friend had jokes._

The rest of the day had gone almost according to schedule. The meeting with T’Challa had been full of a thick tension but Erik had expected as much as soon as Nakia’s hologram shivered into the seat next to his cousin. As he anticipated, she could not entirely agree with the route he and Desia had chosen. The ex-spy had called it backhanded and undiplomatic, citing their use of espionage and unethical discretion. She wanted a more hands-on approach to the issue now that she had turned over a new leaf, suggesting that the take the matter to Congress. It was T’Challa who surprisingly talked her into it.

“ _If this is the route that the town council wants to play, we will play along, too,” the King said, a wicked glint Erik had never seen in his eyes. “We will go through the necessary channels as a show of good faith. But if they show even the slightest hint of resistance or untrustworthiness, we will release whatever information we dig up to the public and do everythingin our to ensure that they are held accountable for all their actions. If they want to be funny, we can be hilarious.”  
_

_Desia spat her tea all over the table._

Erik reached up to loosen his red patterned tie as he thought over said plan for what seemed like the millionth time that day. They had deployed one of their Wardogs, a younger guy, Chike, months back when they were only entertaining the idea of stepping in to help with the water crisis. He had joined one of the general’s offices under the guise of a winter internship and they kept him on as a record keeper. Nakia had flown out that morning to meet with him and bring him up to speed. The boy was bright, capable and hungry enough to show what he was made of that Erik did not doubt that the plan would lay itself before them perfectly. Call him big headed, but he knew this was going to be  _fun_. The only thing left to do was to infiltrate the EPA to show that the waters were  _not_  up to the federal government’s standards. Shuri was leading that front and had already gotten a few samples sent to her for testing. Erik’s lips curled up into a rough grin, eyes full of malice at the thought of the hole they were about to rip into these colonizers asses.

Time to put those mothafuckas in their place.

“Mr. Stevens?” an unsure feminine voice called out to him. He paused then as a fissure of annoyance traveled up his spine and turned to find a cute chubby girl in a FedEx uniform looking up him from the bottom of the steps. A large package was held under her arm, threatening to fall at any moment. He licked his lips instinctually, she was attractive. The blonde curly unit she was sporting was springing out of the bottom her cap framing her heart-shaped face perfectly. Completely his type.

That is, before Aurora.

“Depends on who’s asking,” he said with a smirk, descending the stairs unhurriedly to let the tiny woman appreciate his suit and body. He could at least give her that luxury.

“You have a package from  _Sak’s_.” She handed him the box and her tablet over to him for his signature. “It’s a heavy box,” she hesitated, chewing her lip.

He knew the girl was gearing up to shoot her shot.

“Something for your girlfriend?”

_There it is. Nice try baby girl._

“Nah, a friend of mine. Her birthday is coming up.” He sat the cumbersome box next to his foot and signed his name in his best script before handing the tablet back to her. He could see the hope blooming brightly in her irises. “I haven’t figure out to get my girl for hers.”

The girl’s face dropped instantly but, to her credit, she gathered herself quickly. Pride not letting her show her disappointment.

“Well, if you were my nigga, just being around you would be enough.”

“Yeah? I’ll keep that in mind.” Erik gave her a grateful smile before turning with a wave. “Have a great evening, beautiful.” The needy sound the woman made didn’t fall on completely deaf ears.

His grin faded as he thought of the bit of knowledge the postal worker dropped. Time? Could that be all his girl needed? He didn’t have it spades but what he did have he’d happily give to her. Freely. Willingly. But was that enough? Erik ascended the steps at a leisure pace, deep in thought. He had never dated, never been in love, never even had a situationship. All his past encounters with women had been sexually fueled and short spanned. A means to an end. He hadn’t cared to get to know them, woo them or keep them. He was reminded, not the for the first time, that he was swimming in uncharted waters when it came to Aurora. He knew, theoretically, how relationships were made. Courting a woman wasn’t a department he needed much help in. He had the means and the interest enough to sweep her off her feet a billion times over. It was  _retaining_  the relationship he was unsure of. Erik had no cause to dwell of this before, what he previously thought of as his goal in life took precedence over all else. Now though, the things he’d thought he’d never have a chance of obtaining seemed to be lying at his feet. His for the taking.

Erik could almost  _feel_  Desia’s disapproval at the turn of his thoughts. She would pluck the shell of his ear with a scowl, ready to reprimand him.

_“Thin ice, Stevens. Thin fuckin’ ice. I told you I don’t play about my best friend.”_

He chuckeled. She was right, he’d cross that bridge when he got there.

Erik’s pocket began to vibrate with an incoming call.  _Shad._  He answered the call as he scanned his keyfob to enter the building, hoping this was good news. **  
**

“Wassup?”

“I don’t know what fuckin’ magic you pulled but these niggas giving me two weeks leave.” The smile in his voice was evident and Erik let out a breath of relief. He owed Ross one, the man could work miracles.

“I just pulled a few strings.” Erik played it down as he turned and noticed Candice, the resident thot, staring right at him. Her icy blue gaze drinking him in slowly sent the wrong type of shivers across his body. She was standing by the bank of elevators, call button not even lit, and he knew she was waiting on him. He shot her a polite smile and made for the steps, knowing the girl wasn’t going to walk the nine flights up to her apartment. Erik slid the box under his arm and pushed the door open before she could call out to him.

“The package just got here,” he told Shad after he almost dropped it. The postal girl was right. “This fuckin’ box heavy as hell. What you get her?”

“Yeah, I just got the notification, that’s why I called. The pair of  _Louboutins_  she asked for.”

Erik shook his head at the nigga. “Didn’t you also get her a  _Chanel_ bag?” He kissed his teeth, it was sitting in the back of his closet, neatly wrapped from when he picked it up from the boutique the day before. “This why her ass spoiled now.”

“I spoil  _my_  Princess, you spoil  _yours_.”  _Okay, he had him there._  “How she doing?” 

“Better, but you know how she is. She throws herself into work to distract herself from the fact that you’re not here.” Desia had been getting in earlier and leaving well after him for the past week and a half. She never  _looked_  tired but Erik knew his friend. She could be exhausted and close to dehydration and still seem well put together. He knew. That trip to the hospital the last time her husband had been deployed was on the of the scariest moments he’d experienced in a long time. It was also the majority of the reason he watched her so closely during Shad’s deployments. She had gotten much better at taking care of herself but he would continue to monitor just in case. He’d always be there to catch her if she slipped.

“Damnit Desia,” his friend grumbled into the phone, annoyed with his wife. But there was a warm edge to his voice. Love. His earlier thoughts returned to him. He knew this. Erik was familiar with it, having been around the couple for the past year. It was evident in everything the two of them did. Even when the other wasn’t around. He blinked hard, a hollow feeling his chest. Their relationship made him feel like something was missing.

Or  _someone_.

His friend brought him back to the conversation.

“Imma fuckin call her. How you been, though? Anything new with Ari?”

Was anything new? He hadn’t seen her for more than a few minutes since Saturday. She was busy. Constantly coming or going, never staying in place long enough for him to get more than a “how was your day?” out of her. When he’d seen her this morning she had an air of stress around her. She’d walked out of her apartment wearing [a turquoise pair of slacks with a matching floral blouse](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bloglovin.com%2Fblogs%2Fwwwprissysavvycom-4224199%2Fgreen-pussybow-blouse-tailored-pants-5326173519&t=ZDJiNjlkZGY0MmE4ZTNkMTM4YzA2NzMxNjgxNjFmMDljZGRmYjc0OCxHeTBOTG1kMg%3D%3D&b=t%3AhduukGkrPWWm5xXH6vMQHA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fprincessstevens.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F179738416940%2Foverstimulated-eriks-interlude-iii&m=0), her nose in her phone as she muttered to herself. She barely acknowledged him during the ride down the elevator. Erik didn’t interrupt her not so inner musings, smiling at her from the corner of the cab just happy to be in her presence.

“Everything aight. We went out a few days ago. Movies. She been buzzing around here though, so I haven’t had an actual convesation with her since Sunday.”

“You gone ask the girl out for real or what?”

Erik sighed, putting the box down on his couch. He sat down to untie his loafers.

“Shit ain’t that simple.” In the last few weeks, he noticed a change in his girl. She was making progress but still skittish when it came to him and his emotions. Never taking the proclamations of his feelings seriously.

 _Probably because you weren’t saying it seriously_ , Killmonger seethed at him.

“It probably could be,” Shad countered with too much knowledge.

“Desia,” Erik sighed. Of course, she had spoken to him about this. Again, he wasn’t upset about it. His friend could give him insight on the male side. Not that he didn’t value Desia’s advice.  

“Desia,” Shad laughed before he too sighed. “Let me call her ass. She’s probably still at the fuckin’ office. I’ll get up with you later in the week.”

“Aight.” Erik hung up after his friend’s “lata.”

He scrolled through his other messages, answering Desia’s sister, Monae, who was confirming the pick up for the birthday cake at the end of the week. The group chat with his boys was blowing up as they made plans for the night. Gio was celebrating the opening of the new club a friend of his co-owned,  _Shadow,_  and invited everyone out. Heath, Azeez, and Jamal had already agreed to meet there at 10 and had also banded together in an effort to get Erik to come out with them. 

By roasting him for never leaving the house. 

_**Yung G:**  yo, yall niggs comin’ out 2nite or wat?  
_

_**Big Hefe:**  Y’know im down. Is that nigga E coming out or nah?_

_**Zzzs:**  Erik? Out the house? Past 7? On a school night? Cancelled._

_**Jamal** : haha, that shit funny cuz it’s tru._

Rolling his eyes, Erik sent the group a quick “suck my dick” before he placed them on silent and headed towards his bedroom. It had been a while since he’d gone out with his niggas. The last time being the night Ari had sent him that thirst trap of her in that black dress. The golden jaguar he’d given her sitting right above her inviting cleavage. He’d looked at the picture for longer than he had any other. There wasn’t a time he’d seen the girl and she wasn’t wearing it. It made him cocky as fuck every time it winked from her delicate neck. Like she was branded as his.

He took off and hung up his suit for dry cleaning before heading to the bathroom. Erik showered languidly, letting the stress of his day melt off his shoulders with his musky lather as he stood under the nearly scalding spray. He practiced the breathing exercises Rashidi had taught him, focusing his mind on the one task and letting all other thoughts drift away. By the time he got out of the shower, he was in a much better mood, sitting down to moisturize his skin and pull on a pair of black joggers as he thought of what to do with the rest of his evening.

Erik was pulling a wife beater over his head as he walked back over to his closet, looking for his black  _Champion_  hoodie when he paused mid-step. His Princess had yet to give it back. She had been wearing it last week when she passed him in the hall and he hadn’t thought to ask for it back. She looked good in it. He chuckled, the girl looked good in  _anything_.

_And probably better in nothing._

NBA 2K19 seemed like the wave for the night. He hadn’t done much relaxing over the past few weeks by himself. Between traveling for work and hanging out with the kids down at the center, Erik had used all of his leftover downtime attempting to be with his neighbor. Not that he was complaining about it. Shit, he’d be knocking on her door with a sorry ass excuse right now if she had been home.

He flicked off the light in his bedroom and padded out into his living area, mind on the leftover calzones in his refrigerator. Two long buzzes in his pocket had his belly flopping. Aurora. He smirked. He had changed her notification settings so that he would always know when it was her, even when his phone was on silent. He swiped the message open with his thumb, ignoring the way his heart beat a little louder in his anticipation.

He pulled his lip through his teeth, forcing himself to pause for a second as to not seem  _too_  thirsty for her. He didn’t need her knowing just how sprung he was. 

Standing in the middle of his hall waiting for the bubbles to pop up, had him slightly feeling stupid. He was just pocketing the device and berating himself when his hearing picked up footsteps in the hall seconds before she rapt against his door with her knuckles.

Ari? Coming to  _him_? This shit was new and he’d be a liar to say he didn’t like it. 

Erik sauntered over to his entry and pulled the door opened, stopping short at the sight of her. She was wearing [grey](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2F2b%2Fb6%2F1b%2F2bb61bc884e152c451b18f89914b76ed.jpg&t=ZjJmZGI4NDMwOTVlMTI2OWM5MGYzYTRjNjU4NjNkZTdhNDA3ODJiMixHeTBOTG1kMg%3D%3D&b=t%3AhduukGkrPWWm5xXH6vMQHA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fprincessstevens.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F179738416940%2Foverstimulated-eriks-interlude-iii&m=0). All grey. A loose cropped long sleeve shirt hungover a pair of tight fitting high rise shorts that stopped mid-thigh. He had seen girls wear them before, believed they were called biker shorts. They were aight when he saw them on other girls. They were sexy as fuck on  _his_  girl though.

She seemed just as stuck as he was. Her brown eyes traveled over his chest and arms with barely concealed appreciation for a moment before she blinked herself out. He smirked.

_It could be yours, Princess._

“Hey E,” she said with the endearing wave she always gave. **  
**

Erik leaned against the doorjamb, gaze traveling down her body just as slowly as hers had until he got to the green painted toes peeking out of her fuzzy  _[Ugg](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dillards.com%2Fp%2Fugg-fluff-yeah-slides%2F508140552%3Fmsclkid%3D1856798dc5a8168595ef2253dbd40a34%26utm_source%3Dbing%26utm_medium%3Dcpc%26utm_campaign%3DCategory%2520-%2520All%2520Womens%2520Shoes%2520-%2520Shopping%26utm_term%3D4580565442262843%26utm_content%3DAll%2520Womens%2520Shoes%26cm_mmc%3DYahoo_BingPAs-_-Category%2B-%2BAll%2BWomens%2BShoes%2B-%2BShopping-_-o-_-null&t=YjQwYmE5YTA1NDRlMDgyMmJlMTY1MmIxMDQ4M2RjMDI0MjQ3MjFjMCxHeTBOTG1kMg%3D%3D&b=t%3AhduukGkrPWWm5xXH6vMQHA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fprincessstevens.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F179738416940%2Foverstimulated-eriks-interlude-iii&m=0)_  slippers. They were cute. He was  _not_  telling her that shit.

“Sup beautiful?”

Aurora shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, looking anxious. “You busy?” **  
**

His lip quirked up higher. “You asked that already.”

“Shit,” she cussed quietly, running a hand over her laid hair. It was in two top puffs. Erik had never seen it that way before. He wanted to tug on them playfully. Maybe use them to guide her as she sunk down on her knees in front of him.

_Calm the fuck down, nigga._

“Sorry, I came over here before I had the chance to check my phone.”

“How you know I was home then?” he teased. Erik loved fucking with her. Her darkening cheeks always got him.

“Really nigga? Who else’s NSX is in the lot? It sure as hell ain’t mine.”

“You want one?” he asked before he could stop himself. As soon as the question left his lips he knew he would legitimately buy her one if she asked. He’d buy her  _anything_. The idea of spoiling the beautiful girl in front of him was appealing as fuck. He had already told her he’d give her the world and he meant that shit. She already owned part of his.

Aurora laughed at him then, brushing the question off as a joke like she usually did. His jaw ticked. They were going to have to work on her communication skills.

“No, ass.” She looked past him and into his apartment. “Can I come in? Or are we gonna have this conversation in the hall?”

Erik backed up, impressed. She was forward today. “You inviting yourself in, ma?”

“Someone one has to.” She walked tentatively into his apartment, cautiously. No doubt remembering all that transpired the last time she was there. Her eyes bounced from room to room looking wholly uncertain of where she was allowed to go.

He watched her wrap her arms loosely around herself, attempting to make herself smaller. His brow furrowed. Something was profoundly bothering her.

“You aight?” he asked when she slowed her walking to a stop between his living room and dining room. He briefly wondered what he could do to make her comfortable again.

“Yeah just,” Ari blew out a harsh breath, moving the tendrils hanging down in her face. “I had a long day.”

Erik nodded at her, tucking his hands into his pockets and kept a good few feet of distance from her. He wasn’t sure what she needed and didn’t want to touch her without her consent. Even when the urge to do so was making his hands twitch.

“Everything is moving so fast,” she complained

The blood began to rush around in Erik’s veins, turning colder with the seconds. Was she talking about them? He steeled the patient look on his face as to not alert her to his panic as he quickly flitted through all of his interactions with her over the last few days. Nothing jumped out at him as being “too fast.” He was on his best behavior during the date on Saturday which had been  _torture_. Her little gasps and giggles at what they were watching, the soft hand in his lap, her fucking smell filling up the entire car that lingered for hours after. They had eaten the food from  _In n Out_  around her kitchen island and planned a day of watching movies before he gave her a hug, chaste kiss on the forehead, and dragged his ass back to his apartment. Where had anything gone too far?

“This book process is moving along quicker than I thought. It feels like the shit is droppin’ tomorrow.”

Erik’s knees almost buckled in relief. She was talking about work. He wanted to laugh aloud at how his thoughts immediately turned to the worst. He had to chill.

“You’re not excited about it?” That was odd. She seemed to be working so diligently. Her friends had stopped by with large portfolios and various documents tucked under her their arms all week. Not that he had been paying close attention to the traffic in and out of her apartment.

Aurora laughed hollowly and turned to look at him, Her expression confusing him further. There was an emotion swimming on his face he couldn’t quite place. Hesitancy mixed with apprehension, doubt and something else. He fucking hated it. Wanted to wipe it off her face with his lips. 

“I am but I’m also  _terrified_. It’s giving me the worst fucking anxiety. Like, I want it to be here but I also don’t,  _y’know_?” 

Terrified? The word jumped out at him the most. What could she possibly be afraid of?

“Nah,” he hedged, taking a cautious step towards her. “Care to explain?”

Unwrapping her arms, Erik watched her swipe her long sleeve over her forehead to compose herself. Stalling. She needed to get her thoughts together before answering.

He was a patient man.

“I don’t know,” Ari finally began after pacing for a few moments. “I’m not sure I’m ready for people to know who I am. To see the face behind the pain of my last book. It was so _telling_  and raw that I’m embarrassed?” She shook her head briskly at herself, eyes as rueful as the quirk on her pretty lips. “You probably think I’m a fuckin’ punk or something.”

“No,” he answered instant and earnest. “I don’t.” Erik remembered how he felt when he’d been woken out of cryostasis that first time. A murderous anger at T’Challa and Shuri for not allowing him to fucking die bubbling like magma at the surface of his mind. They had disobeyed his wish, cared little about his attempt to overthrow and weaponize their country, and greeted him with a patience that he would  _never_  deserve. Everyone had. Treating him gently even when he raged out at them like a child. Unfounded and masking the pain that lied deep within his hurting heart. Like they understood him.  _Loved_  him. Their care ate at him over time. His anger cooling and morphing uncomfortably in his chest into something worse. Embarrassment. These people whom he threatened and outed to the world took him in as family. They saw him at his worst and still accepted him as one of their own. There was nothing he could ever do to repay them. He was still trying.

Erik understood embarrassment better than anyone. Aurora’s fears, while valid, were unnecessary. How could anyone not love and accept her once they had gotten to know her?

 _How indeed_ , Killmonger questioned snidely.

“You should,” Ari said with a hollow laugh. “It feels like I’m still running from my past.”

The urge to ask her to elaborate on that was intense. All of his questions rushed at him at once. A cacophony of noise buzzing around his skull that was borderline unbearable. He knew better than to ask, she had already promised him that she would explain when she was ready. If he couldn’t trust her then they had nothing.

He ignored the voices, they could wait.

“Wanna drink?” he asked when she looked like she was done talking for now. “I got some rum I brought back with me from Wakanda.”

“Please?”

Erik nodded at her and turned towards his kitchen, relieved when he felt her following suit. He pulled the bottle from the wine rack sitting on his counter, placing it on the island in front of her before he went and grabbed a lime and a can of ginger beer from his refrigerator.  

“Made in Wakanda,” she said, tapping the bottle with her manicured nail. “We ever gonna talk about that?”

An opportunity laid itself before him and he mentally rubbed his hands together.

“We back to playing 21 questions, Princess?” Was it wrong to take advantage of the situation to get to know her more? Maybe, but he would never force her to answer anything she didn’t want to.

“We never actually asked 21 so I would say so sir,” she giggled.

He poured two fingers of the amber liquor into each of the glasses he’d pulled from overhead, sliding one over to Ari with an amused expression. He knew she was going to hate it, could tell she wasn’t much of a drinker from their interactions thus far, but it would be amusing to watch her try it.

She eyed the drink with trepidation, glancing behind him at the other ingredients he’d taken out before shooting him a skeptical look.

“I thought you were gonna make me a drink?”

“Try it this way first. You might like it.” Erik lifted his glass in the air, waiting for her to rise to the challenge. She didn’t disappoint, picking up her own and clicking it together.

“Cheers.”

Aurora took a tentative sip of the warm drink and coughed directly after, making Erik chuckle at her expression. His Princess did  _not_  like that. **  
**

“That’s fuckin’  _disgusting_ ,” she groaned, holding a hand over her mouth. She looked at the glass like it was going to spontaneously combust. Or like it had cursed her family.

Erik shook his head at her. He knew it. “It’s good for you. Puts some hair on her chest.”

Aurora glanced between his face and the slivers of his bare chest peeking over his shirt with a comical expression. “Does it?” she asked skeptically.

Erik laughed into his drink. “You know what I meant.”

“No, I know that shit is nasty though. I am  _not_  drinking this.” She slid the glass over to him and crossed her arms, making Erik peek at her perky breasts. “Make me a drink, please?”

Erik added the contents to his tumbler,  _more for me._

“You’re a spoiled brat,” he joked before turning around to retrieve the beer and lime. Her indignant expression and loud huff had him grinning big. He’d struck a nerve, how adorable.

“I am  _not_. You gave me gasoline in a glass  _after_  you offered to make me drink. If anything, you’re a bad host.”

Erik cut his eye over at her playfully as he grabbed one of his highball glasses from the cabinet near his head, adding ice. Aurora was cute when she was pushy. He wanted to suck the pout of her downturned mouth.

“Watch yourself, Princess. I don’t want to have to teach you a lesson tonight.” He purposely deepened his voice to the octave that always got his girl to space out for a moment. Just like she was now. Her lips parted as she stared at him, browns of her eyes smoldering down to a rich dark chocolate, chest rising and falling with the increase of her breathing. Fuck, he loved the glossed over look she got any time he said something suggestive. He could almost see the fantasies playing behind her eyes. The urge to see her fully aroused was amplified in that. She had to be  _gorgeous._

Erik cut into the lime, juicing it into the glass expertly before he poured decent amounts of the beer and rum on top. His girl was quiet the entire time, watching him with rapt attention. Awe even. He smirked, she was so easily impressed. Wait until he  _really_ showed her some shit.

“Your drink, your highness,” Erik proclaimed, sliding the cocktail over to her with flare. She giggled, a light and airy sound that reminded him of the bells on his grandmother’s porch. It made his heart flutter and filled him with a sense of coming home. 

Aurora took a sip of the bubbly drink, humming when she pulled back. “Were you a bartender?”

He shook his head at that, cleaning up the small mess he’d made. “Nah. I just make that drink a lot. It’s Desia’s favorite, she has one every time she comes over.”

He saw the spark of jealous flash through her eyes before she looked down, turning the glass in her hands. Erik cocked his head to the side and studied her expression. She never looked entirely comfortable with his friendship with Desia but she never dove for information. That’s the way she was with everything. Always curious but too cautious to explore. He’d tell her anything she wanted to know if she would only ask.

_C’mon. Ask me, Princess._

Her lips bunched up in the corner endearingly as she continued to run her fingers through the moisture building up on her glass. Seconds ticked by before she finally built up enough courage.

“She comes over often?”

Erik continued to stare at her waiting for her look up into his face. He needed to read her face.

“Look at me,” he commanded softly. Aurora’s head popped up without pause. Her dark eyes were guarded. She sucked her plump bottom lip into her mouth, chewing worriedly. Uncertainty. He didn’t like it.

“She comes over sometimes,” he started slowly, never breaking their eye contact. He needed her to see he was serious. That it was just her. “Sometimes alone, other times with her husband.”

Erik could see as understanding dawned on her; uncertainty melting off her brow as first relief and then embarrassment took hold of her. He couldn’t hold in his smile at her how clear her thoughts played across her face. She was honestly worried that he was seeing his friend. As if he had thought of anyone else since meeting her.

_I’m yours, baby._

She brought the glass back to her lips to try and smother her smile but he caught it. “I didn’t know she was married. Is her husband going to be at her party?” She balked for a second before smacking herself in the forehead. “He’s her husband, of course, he’s going to be there.  _Duh_ , Ari,” she muttered to herself.

Erik laughed out loud at that. No woman ever made him laugh as much as she did and she never tried. It was refreshing.

“Actually, he’s in the Navy and away right now but he got leave to come back. He’s going to surprise her.” He couldn’t wait to see the look on Desia’s face when he walked in. She deserved to be happy.

“Is that where you know him from?” The look on her face could only be descibed as eager. His Princess wanted to know more about him, too.

Erik picked up his glass and the bottle of rum, motioning for her to follow him. “C’mon let’s take the game to the living room.” He turned on his soundbar and pressed shuffle on his phone as he walked into the room.  _Fallen_  by Jaden starting up. An apt song given his company **.**  

Aurora hopped down from the barstool and walked behind him. She tossed one of his throw pillows on the floor and sat down, shrugging at the questioning look Erik was throwing at her.

“It’s how me and my girls drink anytime they come over.”

“You callin’ me one of ya girls now?” Erik joked as he followed her lead, sitting on the pillow she put down for him and placing the bottle between them. He didn’t have plans on getting drunk, but he knew he’d probably have one more glass after the one in his hand. “I just keep getting upgraded, huh?”

Ari took a large swig of her drink, eyes twinkling over the lip of her glass at him. “You should be honored, sir.”

He shook his head at her. She was something else. “To answer your question, no. I didn’t know Shad when I was in the Navy, he enlisted after me. I met him through Desia.” He could still remember the day he’d met the younger man. Shad had sized him up slowly, identifying if he was a threat or not before he offered him a dap. He was happy to meet his wife’s “work husband.” He had yet to see Desia roll her eyes harder than that moment. 

“She’s your best friend?” It sounded more like Aurora was telling him rather than asking. There were times where perception peeked through her aloofness. He realized that she only saw what she allowed herself to see. Part of him wasn’t sure it was a residual effect of her coping mechanisms or not. If she never believed anything she could never be disappointed. He was familiar with the sentiment. He nodded at her question anyway.

“Yeah, she’s my best friend. I guess so is her husband. I spend a lot of time with him too when he’s home. When did you meet your friends?” It was his turn to learn more about  _her_.

“I met Jade when I moved to the U.S.” Her smile held a touch of nostalgia to it. “J used to  _hate_  me. Our mom’s hit it off quickly so we were always at her house. I followed her around. She was the only other person I knew that was my age. My accent was thick back then and she said it annoyed her. I think she was just conflicted because she thought I was cute and didn’t know what it meant at the time.” Aurora smiled at the memory. “LaTosha and Kailoni I met while we were attending college. We all lived in the same suite freshman year. It was an instant connection. I’ve been stuck with them since.” She clicked her nails against the side of the glass as she continued to travel down memory lane. Her expression changing from memory to memory.

Erik didn’t interrupt her, he was content watching her soft face while he turned the new knowledge over in his mind. He knew from her Facebook profile that she had turned 28 a few days before he had moved in, so these women had to be around for her past relationship. Why didn’t they intervene?

_“I…didn’t want my friends to know how bad it was.”_

She told him that when they had gone out to get ice cream. How deep was the abuse that it as that easy to hide?

“And you?”

Her voice brought him back. His friends? He rubbed his chin.

“Well, other than Shad I have Heath, who I did meet while I was in the Navy. My nigga Azeez helps down at the Center, administering shots for the kids during flu season. He’s a pediatrician.” He rolled his eyes at Ari’s “awh!” The women  _always_  loved Zeez. “Gio I met through Azeez. He works in the pleasure industry. Parties, clubs, shit like that. Azeez always partying. His motto is ‘if you ain’t drunk, you ain’t right.’” Erik chuckled at that, it was always a good time when those two got together. “And then there’s my oldest friend Jamal. Known that nigga for a grip. Before my pops died, he lived in one of the apartments down the hall. We used to play ball together.” Erik stopped there. His history with Jamal wasn’t the best. They had stayed in contact even after Erik had entered into the foster system. Selling petty drugs and getting into gang shit. Almost everything that got him in trouble with the cops happened with Jamal. And the nigga had  _yet_  to grow up. He was a party promoter that told every girl that he owned his own studio. A hole in the wall he’d made in his mom’s basement. He was sad, but it got him bitches so he never changed.

Aurora sat her half-empty glass on his coffee table, she drank faster than he expected. “Wow, I didn’t know you knew so many people.”

_What?_

“Whatchu tryna say, Princess?” He knew she didn’t mean it negatively. Didn’t change the fat that he was going to make her sweat about it, though.

To his surprise, she shot him a dry look instead of getting flustered. “Calm down nigga. I  _mean_  you’re always by yourself. I wasn’t sure if you were making up your friends or not.” She paused then, biting her lip for a second. “I haven’t even heard any thots come in or out of here.”

Erik damn near choked on his drink. Oh, she was  _bold_  when she drank. He was going to enjoy this shit.

“Thots? That’s what you think of me, Ari?”

Aurora quickly picked up her drink to take a steading pull. “Okay, maybe not thots. But I haven’t seen a single female come through here. Something has to have happened. Unless…you’re gay or something?”

Erik did choke that time. She couldn’t fucking be serious. With the amount of lust he aimed at her when they were together, there was no  _fucking_  way she thought he liked niggas.

She reached over to pat him feebly on the arm. “Sorry! Shit, I don’t actually think that, but Kailoni suggested it when I told her I hadn’t seen anyone.”

He recovered after that. She talked about him to her friends. That was a good thing, right? He’d ask Desia tomorrow.  “Ya friends think I’m gay?”

“Only Kailoni. Everyone else thinks you just fuck outside of your place. They said girls would probably leave here bowlegged and hunched over and you didn’t want that kind of attention.” Her eyes went wide and she clapped a hand over her mouth.

He laughed, women were wild.

“Well, you can report back to them that none of that shit is true. Maybe I’m just not fucking anyone.”

Aurora blinked at him owlishly before she laughed in his face. “I’m not lying to my friends for you.”

Erik cocked his head to the side slightly, narrowing his eyes at her laughter. He wasn’t mad at her, just reading her response. She genuinely thought he was being untruthful.  

“Who said it would be a lie? I haven’t had any in ten months.”

This time she choked, spluttering into her glass loudly before she regained composure. Wiping her face on her sleeve, she gawked at him for a moment. “ _Bullshit_ ,” she spat.

His smirk was dark. “Nah, Princess. It’s true.”

_“How!?”  
_

_Truth time, Stevens._

Erik locked eyes with her, he could feel his smoldering in his face but did nothing to hide it. “Waitin’ for the right one.”

They stared at each other for long seconds. Erik could see her picking apart the five simple words.

Aurora drained her glass, reaching for the bottle sitting between them, pouring a generous amount over the leftover ice. She was nervous.

“You mean like, prince charming or some shit?” she tried to joke between sips.

That got him to chuckle. Nervous, cute, tipsy Ari. A new favorite.

“Or a Princess, yeah.” He held her gaze as he took a slow sip from his nearly empty glass.

_I want you, Aurora._

They drank quietly for a few seconds. Jaden singing the words straight from Erik’s heart.

_Spend some time with you/I might bend the rules/Cause I’m in love with you/You can see the truth/I will show you soon/Just meet on the moon._

“You’re a good guy, E. You’ll find her,” Aurora supplied, looking into her glass instead of at him. “You probably already met her.”

Erik couldn’t the dejection in her tone. His fingers clenched around the tumbler in his hand, making a soft squeaking noise that Ari looked up at.

Her expression was honest and open just like it always was. But that couldn’t be right. She had to be fuckin with him. She had to know. It was  _impossible_  if she didn’t.

“Yeah, I think I have,” he told her before he could stop himself. His frustrations were threatening him to push things further along. Maybe waiting for her to come to him wasn’t the best option.  

Aurora’s face was shocked, eyes wide.

_Get it now, Princess?_

Erik was thrown when her shock was replaced by annoyance. She threw back the rest of her drink before sitting the the glass on the table. Pointing a sharp index finger at him. “Nigga, you met a girl and didn’t tell me? I thought we were friends!”

The urge to facepalm was so strong. This fucking girl was going to be the death of him!

“She ain’t say yes yet, relax,” he told her calmly, in disbelief that they were even having this conversation. “You’ll be the first to know if she does.” The first. Promise.

She looked placated at that. “I better be,” she threatened. “What she look like?”

“Really?” This was happening to him?

“Yes,  _really_ ,” Aurora leaned over to poke him in the chest. “Give me something, you done hid her this goddamn long, Stevens.”

He wanted to drag her over to the full length in the corner behind him. Point and say, “you.” But he could play the game.

“She’s cute, kinda short like yo ass,” he reached over and ruffled one of her puffs in retaliation for her poking him. She flailed at his hand with a mock glare that had him flashing his golds at her. “Got a smart mouth when she wants to, coily hair, button nose, ass for days.”

Aurora let out a long wolf whistle. “Damn, that’s a bad bitch!”

He laughed at her, as she uncapped the drink, almost spilling some when she poured in a small amount. She held it out to him in offer but he shook his head. It was late and he had work in the morning.

“I’m good.”

She replaced the top and drank a little, not bothered by the temperature or lack of mixtures. She probably didn’t notice at this point. Relaxation had finally settled into her bones, she slouched a more against the couch as the last bits of tension left her shoulders. She was comfortable.  

Time to go in for the kill. “And you?”

Aurora snorted loudly and waved a dismissive hand at the question. As if it was ludicrous. “I haven’t had sex since my ex. So close to two years at this point.”

Erik felt like his jaw had unhinged and hit the floor at her admission.

“No one? For two years?” He questioned slowly, disbelieving. He pursed his lips. “Now who’s the liar, Ari?”

She raised three fingers in the air, face free of any dishonesty. “Scout’s honor.” A smile broke through, bright and playful. “I mean, I really wasn’t a scout but I’m not lying.”

Erik huffed a laugh at her, why was she always so fucking adorable. “So you ain’t fuck in two years but some nigga had to have had a taste.” She wasn’t a nun, she had to have had something. 

Aurora’s smile faded just as fast as the blush took over her face. No fuckin’ way. Erik  _refused_  to believe this shit. 

She cleared her throat, looking at the carpet beneath them. “I’ve never had a nigga  _taste_  me ever,” she quietly admitted.

Erik wanted to find her all her past niggas and stomp the shit out of them. Six years with this beautiful creature and her piece of  _shit_  ex not only abused her in some way but also hadn’t bothered to pleasure her properly. The nigga needed to be taught some fucking manners and Erik would be  _more_  than fucking happy to teach that class. It didn’t make  _sense_  to him. If Aurora was his girl, he’d eat her pussy whenever she wanted. Every fucking day. More than once if need be. 

Erik breathed out through his nose slowly to cool himself down. The nigga was in the past for more than one reason it seemed. He would rectify the situation. Relish in it. The thought became more appealing the longer he thought of it. To be the first to make her shake apart under his mouth would be an honor he’d carry with him for the rest of his life. He’d make it hard for any nigga after him to get her there like he could.

 _As if there’s gonna **be**  another nigga,_ Killmonger corrected him.

As if indeed.

“Is this Trey?” she questioned, snapping her fingers at the beat to  _Chill_. “I love this nigga.”  She did a little dance in place, rolling her hips slowly to the bass in a distracting way. She could dance. Another new detailed about her.

Aurora opened her mouth to speak next and hiccuped. She honest to god hiccuped. Erik squinted at her and then down at the bottle near her feet. It held considerably less alcohol than a few minutes ago. He has been so busy dissecting her words and motives he didn’t realize how quickly she had managed to drink so much.

_Shit!_

“You’re drunk, Princess.”

She snorted into the glass she was pulling away from her pink lips.

“I’m not drunk. You drunk,” she slurred as she brought it back up, frowning when she realized it was empty. He watched her frown as if she didn’t know she drank the last drops before she reached for the bottle again.

Erik reached out and snatched it up before her sluggish hand could reach it. She blinked at the space where the bottle had been and then up at him. “Hey!”

He put the top back on it. “You’re cut off.”

“Awwwwh! C’mon, E! Don’t be a party pooper,” she whined and reached over again.

He shook his head. “Did you even eat today, girl? How you get drunk so quick?”

Aurora rolled her eyes at his tone, the glare she threw his way not holding any heat. “I did,  _dad_. Right before I came over here I had some ramen.” Erik wanted to growl. He thought she had stopped eating that shit a while ago. They were going to have to revisit her diet again. “And you were making the drinks, so ask yourself!” He pulled the bottle out of range again when she made for it again. “Gimme da bottle, boy!”

“Nah, you’re gonna eat some shit then you’re gonna take your ass to bed and sleep off the rum, lil girl.”

He wanted to spank the sass out of her.

She crossed her arms with a dramatic pout, leaning back to put her head on the couch seat behind her. She relented, “Whatev, juss hurry back.”

Erik ignored her whining and continued slurring, getting up to go and heat a calzone he’d thought of earlier. He put the pastry in the microwave and nuked it, not having the patience to warm it in the oven like he usually would. He was still kicking himself for being so enamored with her that he got distracted. Although, he did learn some new things about her. For one, the girl couldn’t drink to save her life. More importantly though, her friends seemed to approve of their budding relationship. If they  _knew_  it was budding. From all she had revealed tonight, she was likely downplaying his emotions towards her and vice versa. If she knew they existed at all. Erik needed to figure out that delicate balance between revealing his interest and overwhelming her. It felt like a double-edged sword. One side was her sticking him in the friend zone because of her past transgressions and the other chasing her away entirely with his feelings. 

The atomic bomb she’d just dropped only made him want to expedite things even more. Sword be damned.

Fuck, this shit was complicated.

The microwave beeped lowly and Erik pulled the leaking turnover out carefully, opening the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water as well. She needed to hydrate. He walked back over to where they were only to find her passed out where she sat.

“Of fucking course,” he muttered to himself, placing the food and drink on the coffee table. He kneeled next to her to study her in better detail. She was gone, mouth slightly parted, lashes painting pretty shadows against the tops of her cheeks. She looked peaceful. He was grateful she still trusted him enough to be this vulnerable, a lamb falling asleep in a lion’s den.

Erik bit his tingling lip and leaned closer towards her upturned face, eyes glued to her soft lips. He missed kissing her. Wanted to fiercely. He traced a feathery finger over her prominent cupid’s bow but she didn’t stir even in the slightest.  

“You really are Sleeping Beauty, huh?”

He rubbed his broad nose against hers gently, inhaling her sweet scent. The temptation was too much, he pulled back. It was time to get her home.

Pulling out his phon, he snapped a few pictures of her relaxed face. Sending one off to Desia and the other to Nutmeg, before he replaced her profile picture.

“C’mon, Princess. Let me take you home,” Erik said, lifting her up by her armpits and holding her close. He sucked in a quiet breath when she automatically wrapped her legs around his torso, silently commanding his body to behave. He could feel the heat from her core radiating through her tiny fucking shorts and his thin undershirt.

He slid an arm under her pillow-soft ass before placing his hand on the middle of her back, giving her support so she wouldn’t fall.

Ambling out of his apartment, trying not to jostle the woman still asleep in his arms, he hoped to god she had the keys to her apartment. He tried the knob when he got to her door, livid when he found it open like usual. When was she going to learn?

“You need to fuckin’ start locking your door, Princess. Anyone could walk up in here.”

She moaned lightly in her sleep, turning her face toward him. Her soft lips grazed the tendon closest to her, sending an electric shock through his entire neck and lower.

“You smell good, E,” Aurora slurred. She picked up her head slowly, pressing her nose into the spot between his shoulder and neck and inhaled deeply. She let the breath out with a deep moan before pulling his scent back in again, her hips rolling into his stomach sensually. This was his personal hell.

“I love the way you smell. It’s dark, earthy.  _You_.”

Erik had to get her in bed  _now_  before he lost his shit and did something they’d both regret. He walked a little more briskly through her space, kicking the door closed behind him.

Ari didn’t stop her innocent assault on his senses though. She pressed little kitten kisses into all of the skin she could reach, moving higher and higher. Her lips firming up with each press. He could’ve  _sworn_  he felt her teeth graze against the angle of his jaw.

He had just entered her dark bedroom and flicked on the light, saying her name out in warning. She had no clue what she was starting right now, how much she was tempting him to take out his frustrations on her body.

His Princess was determined though, she moved from his jaw, lips tracing the skin between it and his ear. Her lips parted slightly. And she sucked his lobe into her soft warm mouth.

“ _Fuck_ , Princess,” Erik growled, his hips canting forward to meet the air. He had mislabeled her. She wasn’t a lamb, she was a little fucking minx.

Aurora giggled lightly then, the sound not as soothing as it was earlier. It held a wicked edge to it. She was  _fucking_  with him and that turned him on even more. She let the sensitive flesh between her soft lips go before pressing a kiss there.

“Sorry, E.”

He lowered her onto her bed, trying to keep her from the tent forming in his sweatpants, watching as she got comfortable.

Aurora hummed into her pillow, an arm extending out to him. “Stay.”

Erik was rooted to the spot, her simple request the best thing he’d heard all night. All week. He was smart enough, however, to know that if he climbed into that bed beside her he was going to end up inside of her. If he was a lesser man, he wouldn’t think twice. But he wasn’t a lesser man. He could be better than that. Aurora was worth more than what lay between her warm, plush thighs. He would make sure she knew that.

He grasped her proffered hand in his, brushing a kiss across her knuckles before he gave it back. “Rain check, ma.”

She sighed then, “Suit yourself.” And fell back to sleep.  

He shook his head and stood up, going to her kitchen to get a bottle of water from her refrigerator before he shook two Motrin out from her bathroom medicine cabinet. The whole scene was familiar. He had kissed her last time, it was much easier to leave before. The pull towards her a fraction of what he felt right now.

He also didn’t have a half-cocked weapon swaying between his thighs that time. He wouldn’t risk it.

He placed the items on the nightstand next to her bed, rubbed his hand across her soft hair and walked away.

“Intombazana enhle,” he called to her as he turned off the light and left the apartment.

Erik dropped down heavily on his couch and picked up the television remote, studiously ignoring the monster in his joggers. He had cleaned up the mess they had left, placing the food back in his refrigerator, appetite for food wholly gone.

_We could’ve been full of something else if you had just taken what was in front of you.  
_

_Shut the fuck up, Killmonger._

The chores had done nothing to calm down his body. He flipped through the channels looking for something, anything to distract himself from the length of his dick pulsing against his thigh.

_“I’ve never had a nigga taste me ever.”_

Erik could still hardly believe that no one had gotten a taste of her. The morbid excitement from earlier returned to him in tenfold, echoing in the throb of his manhood. He stared forward at the movements on his television unseeingly, fighting his mind as it tried to conjure up an image of himself between Ari’s legs. Her pretty pussy gleaming at him naughtily making his mouth water. He wanted to be the first one to taste her. To bury his face in between her thighs to kiss, lick and tongue fuck her until she was a whimpering, quivering mess. His name a constant chant on her lips as she feebly tried to push him away after her orgasm. He wouldn’t stop. Not until all she wanted was him.

“Shit,” he grunted as he lifted his hips off the couch slightly, pulling his joggers down to his thighs, his engorged cock springing free, curving up to look at him. The purpling head waved in the air at him in greeting and invitation. A neon “touch me” sign might as well have been hanging above it. He scrubbed a hand over his face at the sight, exasperated at his excitement for a girl he’d never seen naked and his inability to turn this shit off. Sleep wasn’t going to come easily to him if he didn’t take care of this first.

Erik’s eyes tracked a drop of precum as it dribbled over his head and down his pulsating shaft, collecting at his heavy balls. His dick was quite literally demanding attention, the veins overly pronoucned along the sides beating in time with his heart, and he was hard pressed not to give in. He hadn’t touched himself in a few days, work had kept him busy and the absence of his Princess hadn’t given him a reason to. He quickly contemplated walking back to his room and using his fleshlight to get the job done before he decided against it. He was too needy to move now.

Tentative fingers ran over the velvety tip, collecting the beads of moisture there and spreading them around slowly. He closed his eyes and pushed his head back into the couch cushion with a flex of his hips. A harsh “ _fuck_ ” escaped his clenched teeth at the sensitivity. This was going to be quick, rough and lacking any of the finesse he usually showcased in any moment of sexual gratification. Even if that moment was just with him.

Erik’s dominant hand wrapped lightly around himself, trying to mimic how his Princess would touch him, his other pushing his shirt up to expose his studded abdomen. His hand pulled down roughly, electing a low groan from him, as a fantasy bloomed in his mind. He could see her behind his lids that had fallen closed. Kneeling in front of him, between his parted thighs, bright eyes glued to his expression as she bit her lip in concentration. Watching him with that worried look she got any time she wasn’t sure of something with him.

Erik spread his knees as far as his joggers would allow, his hand twisting and pulling himself, gaining momentum with every tight pass of the head. Thumb coming up to swiped over the moist slit. Half curses spewed out of him as his pace quickens, his free hand coming down to fondle his sack. Rolling it between his fingers. The sensation doing nothing to abate his impending release.

“Fuck! Shit!” his voice hitched and raised, battling with the enthusiastic wet sounds of his hand pumping.

His fantasy girl looked between him and his twitching dick, her hand moving as fast as he was. She licked her parted lips and leaned towards his cock. Her warm breath only heightened his pleasure as she whispered to him lowly.

_“Cum for me, Erik.”_

Erik did just that. His heels dug into the plush carpet beneath him, using it for leverage as he fucked up into his hand, the coil in his belly growing tighter until it snapped. A croak of Aurora’s name bouncing off his walls. Thick spurts of warm cum landing haphazardly across his upper body didn’t deter him as he continued to drag his fist over his oozing dick until the motion became too much for his overly sensitive body. Legs shuddering with each pass.

Erik let go with a deep sigh, taut body relaxing slowly until he was sitting naturally in his seat. He pulled his ruined beater over his head, tossing it to the side, it felt too rough on his heated skin, before he glanced down at the evidence of his ecstasy littered across his chest and stomach.

Erik huffed an annoyed laugh at how quickly his orgasm had taken him. And how hard his dick still was as it bobbed in front of him, his stamina was working against him this time around. With a disbelieving shake of his head, he gripped the base, pulling his hand with a slow rotation of his wrist upwards. His release making the perfect slick for round two.

“Ffuuck,” he hissed at the feeling. He let go, palming the head a few seconds to stave off the mounting pressure. He would not come that quickly again. 

Erik took his time, languidly pulling at his dick, unrushed. Rubbing his free hand up and down his stomach, tweaking his nipple quickly before sliding back down. He repeated this process as his hand gradually picked up speed.  

The short nails on Erik’s left hand bit deliciously into his skin as he raked them down his chest and stomach. The sharp pain was closely followed by a wave of hazy pleasure causing his hips to buck faster into his hand. He abandoned all notion of slow, the tightening in his balls and urge to reach completion pushing fast and hard to the forefront of his mind. The juxtaposition of two intense sensations never failed to throw him over the edge.

Erik threw his head back, neck straining as he clenched his jaw. A constant string of  _yes, fuck yes_  screaming in his head as his abdominal muscles flexed and clenched. His hand is almost a blur with how quickly he’s moving. Twist up. Plunge down. Palm the head. Grip tighter. 

Fucking Aurora did this to him. She was asleep in his bed and still driving him mad with need.

He wished it was her. Her delicate hand working him. Her brown eyes drooping with arousal. Her small voice encouraging him to go ahead. Let go. He could almost smell her. Almost taste her.

Her pussy was probably so fucking sweet.

He erupted at the thought, breathing hard and keening through his messy release. The second nut even more than the first. Still, he continued to stroke, torturing himself, milking himself he wanted her to.

Erik was out of breath by the end of it. Body spent and tingling.  

So much for not cumming quickly.

He sat there for a long time, waiting for the hollow feeling to retreat from his bones, his cum cooling on his skin. He grabbed his discarded shirt and mopped up the mess, feeling like a fucking teenager all over again. He needed to take another shower.

He pulled his pants and underwear back up, his phone buzzing with notifications in his pocket. They weren’t Aurora so he didn’t really care, but he looked anyway. No need to be rude to his friends.

A message from Shuri with three heart eyes in a row followed by an enthusiastic  _“N’JADAKA! Is that your couch?”_

Another from Desia.  _“She’s so cute, but you bored her to sleep?”_ Smart ass.

The last was from Gio, asking what the fuck could possibly so interesting at home that he hadn’t come out with him.

 _You have no clue, bruh_ , Erik thought. He pulled up the picture of Aurora he’d sent to his other two friends and hit send. His answer was almost instantaneous.

_**Yung G:**  who da fuck is that?_

A sated sleepy smiled spread across Erik’s face.

_**King Kill:**  mind ya fucking business._

* * *

Translations:

 **Intombazana enhle:** Goodnight, beautiful girl.

_drop me a comment dolls. xo_

 


	16. Anxious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys. I know it been an eternity since I’ve given you anything but here is the next chapter of Overstimulated. Let me tell you. This chapter…ugh. It’s long. Like, you may want to block out some time on your calendars to read it. There’s a lot of movement here, between Erik and Ari and also some of our other faves. New people are introduced and that burning question of “will Aurora remember anything from Erik’s place” is answered. 
> 
> I just want to say quickly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you to all of you. I have been struggling heavy with my MH these last few months and I don’t know where I would be without all of you. Hopefully, the muse will continue to bless me and I can have ht next installment out soon.
> 
> Also, just a note this chapter picks up directly after the last chapter (before the interlude).

**Anxious**

Aurora’s face felt like it was going to split in half with the amount she had been smiling for the past two days. Between the date with Erik the day before and her outing with Chris just now, everything in her universe seemed to be coming together.

She hummed along to the music playing in her head as she sat her yoga mat down in the foyer and walked over to her refrigerator for a bottle of water, guzzling as she recapped the entire night.

Yoga had been nothing short of hilarious. Aurora had immediately liked the twenty-four-year-old with the aquamarine fro as soon as she laid eyes on her. Glitter fell from Genesis’ head as she walked around the classroom and, though she stood tall at 5’10, she had a voice like a pixie. And the mouth of a sailor. She had kept them all in stitches the entire class.

_“Arch ya back like a dude with a big dick is about to enter ya spleen, sis!” she had instructed to one of the blondes of the class when they were in cow pose._

She had made fun of everything relentlessly and chuckled loud anytime anyone had passed gas. Aurora had laughed harder than anyone else when it had happened to her.

That humor didn’t stop when she left the session.

_“So, Ari,” she started as she speared the salmon skin roll with her chopsticks. “Anyone petting the kitty?” Genesis glowed in her baby pink spaghetti strap dress. The black combat boots she swung back and forth underneath her stool a great juxtaposition to the flowers now in her hair._

_Ari paused, her teriyaki roll suspended in the air from its course to her still open mouth._

_“Uhh,” she said, glancing over at a chuckling Chris._

_“Gen doesn’t hold any punches, as you saw with class. And she doesn’t relent so you may as well answer the question.” He chewed for a minute, a grin spreading across his lips. “I’m kind of curious myself, doll.”_

_Aurora stuffed the food into her cheeks, imitating a chubby bunny, in order to buy her some time._

_The instructor’s laugh was like a wind chime as it tickled across her ears. “Don’t be like that, smoll bean. I’m just wondering because you fine as every fuck.”_

_Ari shook her head, not at all bothered by the compliment. “So are you, though.”_

_“Oh, I **know**  that, sis. But we not talkin’ about me, we talkin’ bout you.” Genesis glanced down at Ari’s cellphone as it lit up with a notification on the table between them. “Hmmm, Erik, huh?” The grin that spread over her face reminded Aurora so much of Jade it wasn’t funny. “So someone **is** petting the kitty. Okay, Ari. I see you.”_

_Chris’ head snapped over. “Who? What he look like?”_

_Aurora swallowed and picked up her phone, knowing that they weren’t going to let this go. She opened the chat, thumbing through the messages before she pulled a recent[picture](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2F50%2Fea%2Fc7%2F50eac70ab14219276e077402b24989c0.jpg&t=YmIyMzlkMjQ1OGEyYzZhMGIyNmM4YTI0MWM5YzZhZjM0YjhjZDg5YiwzRVBmZmpzdg%3D%3D&b=t%3AhduukGkrPWWm5xXH6vMQHA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fprincessstevens.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F183325165440%2Foverstimulated-12&m=0); Erik with his hood up over his braided back hair, his long tongue sticking out at the camera._

_“Zaaamnnnnn, that shit long and thick as fuck,” Genesis said, grabbing the phone and zooming in on his mouth. "Oooh, bitch my pussy just clenched. **Please**  tell me he knows how to use that.”_

_Aurora just shrugged noncommittally. An answer without giving one._

_Chris coughed delicately into his fist. “That's….something.”_

_Genesis shot Chris a look as she handed the phone back to Aurora._

_“Oh? Is Trevor's longer? Thicker? More dexterous?” She questioned picking up her ceramic Buddha to take a sip of her Malibu bay breeze. “Please, share with the class.”_

_Aurora watched with rapt fascination as her classmate’s face turned a vibrant shade of red before he started sputtering out a diversion._

_“W-who was even talking about him? Can we just focus on Aurora?”_

_“Nuh uh, Chris. You need to tell this dude you like him!”_

Ari sat between them as they argued about Trevor, Chris’ current crush and a bartender at  _Let’s Roll,_  the sushi shop they had been sitting in. She’d laughed loudly when said bartender had walked over to speak to him before he began his shift. Her friend had batted his eyelashes more than she’d seen anyone do outside of Saturday morning cartoons. It was endearing and she’d poked her own fair share of fun when they had said their goodbyes. Trevor was  _cute_. Chris had better get on that.

Genesis had all but demanded to see Ari at her next class and she’d easily relented. She would definitely be going back. For the stretches  _and_ the comedy.

Shit, she was glad she had even made it there, to begin with. Erik had caught her just as she had passed his door. Letting out a long wolf whistle as she adjusted her  _Pink_  windbreaker over matching capris.

_“Where you going, girl?” he questioned, leaning his bare shoulder against the doorframe to his apartment. His dark eyes sweeping over her workout clothes, appreciation in their depths._

_Aurora fought hard to keep her eyes from roaming his bare studded torso. Why was he always in the hall when she was? And where was his shirt?_

_“Yoga with a friend.” Her gaze danced down to the band of his Armani underwear where they peaked out from the top of his joggers. She licked her lips and looked back up at his face. “What are you getting into?”_

_The expression on his face darker than it had been a few seconds ago. Pupils widening as even as his eyes drooped._

_“Yoga,” he responded before reaching out to grab her arm. “I can teach you that shit, Princess. Ain’t nothing but breathing and core control.” He tugged her gently into his open doorway._

_Aurora **almost**  fell into the wolf’s trap. She locked her knees after taking two loose steps forward. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to spend time with him. She always did. But she’d made a commitment to a friend and she hated canceling on people._

_“You do yoga?” skepticism oozed over the three words and Erik raised an offended brow at her._

_“What? A nigga from Oakland can’t?” He shook his head and tugged her gently again, beckoning instead of demanding. “I’ve done it before, yeah. It has more benefits than just flexibility.” Erik paused, his eyes assessing. “You got a shitload of stigmas against me.”_

_She chewed her lip for a second. He was right, she did._

_“Sorry, E,” she apologized before pulling her arm from his loose grip. “For judging you and cause I gotta run.” Aurora pushed the call button on the elevator and looked back at him, offering an apologetic smile. “Maybe you can give me a class next time?”_

_Erik huffed a small laugh through his nose, his expression telling her that she was forgiven, again._

_“Aight, shorty. Try not to miss me too much,” he smiled as she entered the elevator._

_She flashed him her own smile. “No promises,” she called back just as the doors came together. His chuckle rang out just as the elevator began its descent._

Ari laughed at that. If anything he’d missed her if the volume of texts she’d received from him during dinner was anything to go by.

She plucked her cellphone from the built-in pocket of her pants and unlocked it, making her way towards her room to shower and get in bed.

_That should get him to laugh_ , Ari thought as she whipped her sweaty shirt over her head and entered her bathroom to get the hot water of her shower going.

A small giggle pushed past her lips. Erik had texted her nonstop from the time that she left to the time she’d told him she was driving home. When had she had the time to miss him at all? She told him as much.

The shower felt heavenly after the stretching and straining of earlier. Her muscles loosening further while she continued to hum a happy tune. She checked her phone again as she pulled the loose “Pwn Noobs” t-shirt over her body and slid into bed.

She read the line over and over, trying to decipher the message, her heart fluttering in her chest.  _He couldn’t actually mean that_ she told herself. He’d just seen her a few hours ago, had spent most of the night with her yesterday. Her thumbs typed out a response before she tossed the phone on the bed.

The Totoro plushies felt softer under the clean skin of her chin as she pulled her teeth through her lips and waited for his response. It was less than a minute later she was pulling the phone back towards her with her toes, expecting to see a funny quip or a laughing emoji on the screen.

Ari’s brows furrowed deeper at the message before her eyes jumped up at the time. 9:15 PM. It wasn’t  _late_  but she knew Erik had his hands full this work week. There was no way he was honestly offering to come over. Hesitation and uncertainty had her thumb hovering over the call button under his contact for a few moments. She wanted to know if he was serious.

The phone rang twice before he picked up.

“Hey, Princess.”

His voice was a bass filled murmur sliding across her ear, making her sink further into her bed.

Aurora swallowed thickly as her body tingled, mouth opening a few times before she cleared her throat and spoke.

“Hey, were you sleeping? It’s so early.”

The sigh he let loose was full of drama. “What can I say? I’m an old man.”

“You’re only thirty-three, Erik. That’s hardly old.”

Erik laughed then, low and enticing. “I went out to the gym while you were out doing the cobra and corpse pose. I’ma lil beat.”

“Yeah? Sounds like you may have gone too hard in the paint.”

“Yeah, don’t I always,” his voice changed, slightly muffled in whatever position he was in. “How was dinner?”

Aurora smiled as she thought.“The food was good. Conversation even better.”

“Oh yeah? Better than ours?” Erik scoffed gently, “I’m offended, Ari.”

Ari laughed at him. He was forever a comedian. “We actually spoke about you if you must know.”

“Yeah?” Erik asked, voice lighter with his evident smile. “You say some good shit about me? Like I’m handsome and a great chef.”

Her eyes rolled heavenward. _Why God?_ She chuckled internally. “No, but I  _did_  talk about your big headedness.”

Erik’s laugh vibrated the phone, making her toes curl into her comforter. “Okay, I guess I deserved that one.”

“Mmmhmm. You really are in bed early though. Do you have any meetings tomorrow?”

“Mm yeah, a few.”

Aurora twirled a coil around her finger slowly as Erik told her about his upcoming work week. As much as he could given the nature of his business. It wouldn’t actually matter as Ari found herself zoning out as she listened. Her mind drifting, wondering what he looked like as he spoke, landing on that image he’d sent her from his hotel room in Chicago. Nude, sprawled across his bed with a sheet tossed over his hips. A hand twisting one of his locs as the moonlight bounces off the small Cuban links on his studded chest. She sighed quietly, pretending that her head was laying against his pillowy pectoral, not smashed against her pillow, as he draws, light, lazy circles across the skin of her back. Their limbs tangled.

Her eyes widen at the turn of her thoughts and she coughed gently, realizing it was her turn to speak.

“Oh yeah? That’s a lot of traveling coming up. I’m jealous.”

“You really shouldn’t be,” he advised. “By the second time you get on and off a plane, it starts becoming more annoying than anything. Besides, the only shit I see is the cabin, airport, my hotel room, and whatever conference room or office I’m assigned. Shit is for the birds.”

“Really? That’s it?” She was surprised, to say the least, having thought he’d have a little time to himself to sightsee. Aurora purposely lowered her voice, attempting a dark and dreary tone. “All work and no play makes Erik a dull boy.”

He chuckled again. “Never that, ma. Besides, I’ve been to most of these cities before. Aint shit changed.” The was a rustling in the background like he’s shuffling in bed before his voice dropped an octave. “I would much rather be at home, annoying my neighbor anyway.”

The way her body pulsed had her pausing to get her bearings. She didn’t want the want in her arousal to bleed into her voice. “You don’t annoy me, Erik.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Well, shit. That’s good to know.” He yawned, his lips making a small smack at the end of it.

Ari rolled her eyes at his words and how they make her feel. “If anything, I’m the one bothering you by not letting you sleep. It sounded like your jaw unhinged itself just now.”

Erik gave another chuckle, deeper and sleeper than before. “Yeah, it did a little.” It was his turn to pause, his sigh defeated. “I should probably go, though.”

She was annoyed at how her heart fell. She knew she had to let him go. Had just thought it a moment before, but she was still sad now that it was here. “Okay. Goodnight, Erik.”

“Aye,” he called out before she could pull the phone from her ear. “You don’t bother me either, you know that right? I could spend the entire day with you only to have you go home and call me to talk some more and I would never be bored.”

She forgot to breathe for a moment, his words making her dizzy. He always did this to her, made her so light she felt like she’d fly away. It was unfair.

“I feel the same way.”

She could hear the smile spread across his face. “Aight. Goodnight, Princess.”

“Goodnight, E.”

The line gave those three obnoxious beeps telling her he was gone. She stared at her phone stupidly for a moment, thumb ghosting over his name on the screen.

She missed him already.

* * *

Something was wrong with Jade.

Ari wasn’t sure about the _what_ but she had a feeling about the _who_.

The woman was too quiet. Ignoring Ari’s comical singing as she undid her twist out. Hadn’t complained at Ari not being ready when she’d arrived. Didn’t touch the cinnamon pull apart bread Aurora left out on the counter specifically for her

It was odd.

Not that Jade was a chatty Kathy, but she hadn’t made one lewd nor suggestive comment yet. Not even when Ari had opened the door in cute her polka-dotted bra.

There _was, however,_ a lot of muttering as she angrily clicked on her phone screen. Seemingly opening and closing the same app over and over. Her left wrist coming up to check the time with a loud suck of her teeth every six or so minutes.

Waiting.

Aurora was happy just to watch and giggle.

“You okay, Jade?”

She was only answered with a low grunt as her friend peeked into the window that overlooked the parking lot. Kamia’s lateness really had her on edge.

The group had agreed to meet at Ari’s place to prepare for the interviews that they’d scheduled for Friday. Aurora had selected five candidates; the two that Kamia had suggested at the top of that list. Interview questions were going to be created, a schedule made, and backgrounds triple checked for validity.

Whenever the Literary Agent arrived that is.

Ari checked her own watch. It was five minutes to their meeting time which was late when thinking of Kamia. A quick flash of eyes in Jade’s direction had her considering that this tardiness may have been calculated.

What was Kam plotting?

Communication between the three of them had felt stilted,  _cold,_  over the last few days. The bickering that Aurora had come to both hate and love had died down to clipped words. Business and nothing else. Ari hadn’t thought much of it at first, chalking it up to the fact that there was a long laundry list of things that needed to be done over the next five weeks or so. But now, watching her friend’s hiked shoulders and annoyed face, she was starting to believe that something else had transpired between the two business partners.

The intercom system buzzed loudly, bring Ari back to the present just in time to see Jade rush over to push the release button.

“Bout fuckin’ time,” she’d snapped as she checked her reflection in the mirror near the door. It was the most moving she’d done in the past fifteen minutes.

Aurora smiled at her agitation and unnecessary primping. As if she needed it.

“You look great,” she assured.

And she did. The soft cream colored sweater she wore off the shoulder was a great compliment to her deep mocha skin.

Aurora came over and popped her gently on the butt just to get a rise out of her.

“These shits soft, where did you get them?  _FashionNova_?”

Jade whipped her head around, twirling one of the hairs near her temple over her finger.

“The jeans or the ass, sis?” she smirked.

 _There she is_ , Ari thought, returning the look.

“Both. I know you got on some butt lifting shorts under this. Trying to impress  _Mimi_?”

The smile slid off of Jade’s face instantaneously.

_Bingo._

A gentle rap against the door had Jade’s jaw flexing. She turned, brushed imaginary dirt off her jeans, and pulled the door open with a high head.

Kamia breezed in, dropping both women a quick “hello” before she pulled three manila folders from her leather satchel, placing them around the island. Aurora’s pull apart bread moved further down to utilize the space.

“So,” Kamia began, snapping her blue eyeglasses case shut, “we’re moving up the date of the interviews.”

“What?” the other two women inquired simultaneously.

Aurora’s heart rate spiked quickly as anxiety shot dizzily through her system. She took slow steps towards the woman, sliding her folder over and opening it. A letter from  _Red Hen_  sitting on top. Ari’s eyes quickly scanned the page as Kamia summarized.

“Did the meeting last week not go according to plan?” Jade questioned, eyeing Kamia.

Who didn’t even spare her a glance.

“It went well.”

Aurora hiked a lone eyebrow, impatient for the other shoe to drop. “But?”

“But, there were some adjustments.” She reached over and turned the page for Ari, showing an updated version of the timeline. “They want to have the interviews and the social media pages up in running a few days before we’d suggested. Six days to be exact. In order to meet the recommendations, we need to have our team assembled and on the ground by this week not next. So the interviews need to happen on Wednesday.”

Ari looked over the dates with a sigh of relief. The book release and tour days hadn’t changed but there were several more pre-release items listed.

“They want to create a website?” That seemed like..a lot.

Kamia nodded, “Yes, so we can take pre-orders.” She tapped a black fingernail further down the page. “We’re going to post excerpts from both your old and new books on your Instagram page to attract readers. The link to pre-order will be at the top of your page.”

Aurora nodded her head. Poetry pages seemed to be popular on social media lately. Pretty words written in typewriter typeface. She’d reblogged more than a few on Tumblr herself.

“We can probably have Rashad take my pictures,” she offered, looking up at Jade with a leer, goading her. But the woman was nearly  _glaring_  at Kamia.

“Who?” Kamia asked, pushing up her glasses.

“Rashad Moore. He’s my cousin.” Aurora turned to her, her plan failed.

Something was  _definitely_  off with Jade. Even whispering Rashad’s name always riled her up.

Kamia blinked a few times. “Rashad Moore is your  _cousin_  and you just now bringing this up?”

“Oops?”

The sigh Kamia gave was long and deep. “Right. Can you give me his email? I’ll reach out to him.” She paused then, studying Ari’s face for a few moments. “I know this seems like a lot, and I want you to know that  _Red Hen_  is still confident in the tour, but you’re still a fairly new writer. They need to ensure that they’re going to profit off the risk they’re taking with this. This of this is a sort of insurance plan. It’s going to help, not hinder.”

Aurora nodded. She understood why all this was necessary. The publishing house had made it known that the amount of attention her debut piece had managed to garner was above the norm and not guaranteed to repeat. She knew that she would have to take a more tactical approach this time around. It didn’t make the ordeal seem any less daunting.  

“I get it,” she offered after a beat, forcing a cheery smile on to her cheeks. She pulled up a blank word document on MacBook, ready to get started on the task at hand. “So, questions?”

“Right,” Kamia began. “I’ve compiled a few on page four.”

The three went over the list of questions, running possible scenarios based on each of the candidate’s profiles. Kamia was a concise and informational as she normally was, however, the more Ari studied the exchange happening around her, the more she noticed that she too was  _off_. There was a coldness to her that wasn’t usually there. Her facial expression more stoic and professional, none of the comrade she’d developed over the past few weeks in sight.

And she was ignoring Jade.

Kamia’s gaze never slipped over to the increasingly aggravated woman who was attempting to kill her with her eyes alone. Jade’s eyebrows hung lower over her sharp eyes with every word she spoke. Lips and jaw tightening as she drummed her fingers against the recycled glass counter beneath them. Being ignored was her pet peeved and Kamia was pushing every button on the board.

Ari would have found it funny had it not felt serious.

Something had transpired between the two. Something serious based on their behavior. With all the spats they’d had in the nearly two years of working together they had never gotten to the point that a silent treatment was implemented. This was beyond worrying.

“Do you think you can do that, Ari?”

Aurora swung her gaze to Kamia as she tried to recall what she’d last said.

“Uhh?”

“She’ll come up with some questions, Kamia,” Jade’s voice interjected, eyes like onyx in her face. “Two days is enough time.”

Ari swallowed and nodded. “Yeah, I got it.”

“Good,” Kamia said closing her folder and placing it back in her bag. “I’ll see you both then.”

And she was gone, sucking all the sound out of the apartment like a vacuum. Barring the furious typing Jade was back to doing on her phone.

_What the fuck?_

“Uhhhh,” Ari started.

The low growl Jade emitted had her eyebrows pushing into her hair. Something was very very wrong. She sat there for a moment, trying to figure out how to broach the subject without having her head chopped off when Jade popped up from her seat. She grabbed her own bag and headed out the door, eyes still glued to the device in her hand.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she fumed.

“Tomorrow?” Ari called out, watching her stomp out. They hadn’t made plans.

The slam of the door was her only answer.

She sat in the empty space for a few moments, trying to piece together what the fuck had just happened. A dull ache was building in the back of her skull, the beginnings of a tension headache. She needed to eat and decompress.

The monkey bread was still untouched, so she pulled that over to her, breaking off a piece and biting into the cloying sweetness. Her new diet had effectively changed her taste buds and Ari nearly gagged at the amount of sugar she’d used to make it before going over to pour a glass of almond milk. She needed to chase away the taste.

The bread had to go. Erik was going to kill her for breaking her diet.

* * *

The sun was hanging low in the sky, more orange and red than yellow, when Aurora stepped out of her Krav Maga class the following day. She was grateful for the break in heat. The rainy season had finally ended only to birth an unforgiving heatwave. The balding weatherman had reported that the temperature was set to stay in the upper 90s all week. She would be pulling her sundresses out the back of her closet to air out this week.

Ari’s black Dodge Dart sat idling not too far from the gym’s entrance, courtesy of her remote start. She pulled the warm handle, almost moaning when she slipped in and felt the blast of arctic air reach out to cool her sweating face.

Class had been good that day. A series of knee and arm locks had been on the docket for the night. Kevin had divvied them up into groups of two and three to practice the moves on each other as he walked around to observe. Ensuring the correct technique and execution was understood. Ari had been paired with a Goliath of a woman, Ulyssa. The Ukrainian stood over six feet tall, her body a wall of muscle and sinew. She had given a light chuckle when Ari tried and fail to wrap herself around her burly thigh, looking more like a spider monkey than anything. Ulyssa had lent her a full minute before pulling her gently away to show her the proper way to gauge an opponent with such a large size difference.

_“You have to use the big person’s weight against themselves,” she said with a patient, accent-laden voice. “No running in head first. You fight with heart, not smart. That’s why you lose.”_

Ulyssa had laid there with a small smile, moving Ari’s arms and legs with the patience of a saint. Giving encouragement and even offering a grunt when Ari had gotten her in the hold successfully. And had not accepted Aurora’s inability to see her progress.

_“You did well, мишка. Don’t sell yourself short.”_

They promised to spar together more often.

Twilight chased after Aurora as she weaved in and out of traffic, Khalid’s  _Better_ blasting through her speakers. She checked her phone when she’d pulled up to a red light, a text from Kailoni on her notification screen.

_Lunch?_

It was sent seven minutes ago. Aurora smiled and typed a quick  _“omw”_  before she turned in the direction of her friend’s home.

“Lunch” turned out to be wings, jalapeno poppers, and margaritas. Aurora had tried to stand firm in avoiding the fatty foods and alcohol. Happily munching away at ranch covered celery and carrot sticks, before a plate of barbeque wings was slipped into her lap. The smells made her cave instantly.

 _Erik, I’m sorry!_  she apologized, with a flat between her teeth.

“So you bitches really aren’t going to tell me anything about my bachelorette party?” the bride-to-be whined like the brat she could be. She had been trying to pry information out of them since Ari had arrived twenty minutes before, using every weapon she’d had in her arsenal; begging, accusing, yelling, guilt tripping. Nothing had worked, their defensive wall was higher than she could climb, completely impregnable. She kissed her teeth loud and long at the silence that followed her question. “Y’all foul as fuck.”

“ _No,_ ” Tosha stressed, “we’re ya friends and following bridal party protocol.”

“I don’t even know why you trippin’,” Jade followed up, setting her margarita down. “You gone have fun irregardless.”

“Irregardless isn’t a word, J,” Aurora chuckled, sucking sauce off her finger.

Her friend shot her mild look.

“Irregardless, Ima still use the shit.”

Laughter filled the room before Tosha turned to look at the writer.

“Speakin’ of fun, you let that nigga Erik fuck yet?”

Aurora sighed into her glass, she knew this was coming. She took a large gulp, shaking her head.

“I don’t think we’re there yet. On account of us being  _besties_.”

The comical groans that her friends emitted at the same time could have been rehearsed they were so in sync.  

“At least she said ‘yet’ this time,” Jade mumbled. “There’s hope.”

“Why are we going  _backward_ s? Didn’t y'all just go on a date?” Kailoni questioned, not appeased by the slip.

“We aren’t going backwards, just like we didn’t go on a damn date,” she replied. “We went to the movies. Dassit.”

Tosha’s eyes narrowed and she sat her empty glass down on the counter, stalking over to Aurora. She grasped her shoulders and shook her lightly.

“What thee hell is wrong with you, girl?”

A high pitched giggled spilled from Ari’s lips.

“Stahp!” she exclaimed, pushing out of her friend’s soft hold. “We  _aren’t_  dating. We didn’t even kiss at the end of the night. We came back, ate food, and cracked jokes.” Aurora pursed her lips, thinking. “We’ve only kissed once and that was before…”

_Before my head cracked open._

“Holon,” Kailoni interjected. “You only kissed this nigga  _once_?”

Aurora gave a somber nod of her head, her lips tingling with the memory. She could still feel it anytime she’d thought of it even though it had been  _weeks_  since it had happened. Her eyes jumped up at the light scoff.

“Okay, this nigga is def gay,” Kailoni concluded.

Three sets of eyes blinked at that before Jade let out a loud guwaff.

“Erik? The nigga that oozes BDE? Gay?”

“You act like gay niggas can’t have BDE,” Kailoni countered.

Jade rolled that around in her mind for a moment before nodding.

“You right as hell. Erik def ain't a bottom I tell you that much.” She turned to Ari, “Oh! If he _is_ gay, ask if I can watch. Gay porn always makes me nut quick.”

Ari almost grimaced before she really thought about it. Hell, she wouldn’t mind seeing that either…

“Well,  _eyeeee_ for one think y’all trippin’ trippin’,” Tosha stated plainly. “Ain’t no way that nigga gay.”

Kaloni blinked at her slowly, a product of the fourth margarita she was sipping with a side of “not-sold.”

“How you so sure, T?”

“My gaydar is unmatched, first of all. So, jot that shit down,” she winked. “No, but seriously, he doesn’t strike me as the type.”

“There’s a type?” Jade questioned to which Tosha threw her a mild look. She  _knew_ what she meant.

“Okay, fine. Ari,” Kailoni turned to the woman in question, “have you seen any women leave his place?”

Aurora didn’t even need to think to answer this. It wasn’t that she was always home when Erik was, but she knew that she would have noticed  _that_. No matter how much she wouldn’t want to. Even the thought made her scalp prickle uncomfortably. She shook her head.

Kailoni’s expression as confident. “See.”

Tosha and Jade weren't swayed.

“Yeah, that don’t mean shit, Kaybo. Maybe the nigga is one of those ‘don’t fuck at home’ types.”

That thought didn’t make Ari feel better about the situation at all. Because it was possible. Erik could be one of those types. Some nights he got home later than others, looking physically tired. He spoke fewer words then, not that he was rude. But his interactions were shorter, not as warm as usual. That coupled with Jade’s words made sense. And Aurora hated it.

Kailoni hummed at that, walking over to her blender to check the contents.

“Aight, so that could be it but if it was, why he ain’t try to make a move on Ari? As many times as he’s been over there, he should have bent her little ass over something by now.” She shook her head. “No offense Ari, but a nigga that fine should've gotten bored of just hangin’ out with you by now. Maybe you guys really are only ‘best friends.’”

Aurora was full out glaring at her friend now, the emotion easier to handle than the jealousy turning over in her chest.

“Why does it sound like you put quotes around best friends?”

“Cause I did.”

Aurora rolled her eyes as the “is he or is he not gay” conversation unfolded with both sides having pretty decent points. Kaybo sighting that he could be bisexual almost had Aurora swallowing a chicken bone. She really couldn’t fight the mental image.

Tosha’s points were solid, as they usually were.

“I’ve known dudes like Erik before. Quiet, don’t like people in his business, moves in silence. Plus, he wouldn’t want Ari to see some thots leaving there walking bowlegged and hunched over. Cause that’s how he wants to have  _her_. That don't make him gay.”

“These are fax on fax on fax,” Jade agreed, never looking up from her phone.

“I still think the nigga gay.”

A slender hand raised from Ari’s corner of the couch, “Do I get a say in any this?”

“No.” The decision was unanimous.

“Maybe he’s just a patient nigga.”

Every head snapped over to Jade - different degrees of awe, shock, and disbelief aimed at her -  but her tone never changed. She only shrugged.

  
“I seen the nigga with her and def ain’t gay.  _Maybe_ bi but I think even that is pushing it. Maybe he sees how skittish the Kitten is and is tryna move slowly.” Jade scowled at her own words but didn’t take them back. “He seems like he may be a perceptive ass hoe anyway.”

Stunned is the only word Aurora could find in her vocabulary. Jade was  _defending_ Erik? The same guy she called different variations of Satan on a daily basis. Now Ari was suspicious.

She wasn’t the only one.

Kailoni hummed as her eyes shrunk to slits. “He could be. Maybe he is patient. Patient like Kamia.” A smile spread across her face when Jade’s fingers halted their typing. She looked around as if just noticing something. “Where is she by the way? I haven’t seen her in a grip.”

Jade sat there, a deer in headlights, completely thrown off by the question. She gave a hard blink, seeming to snap back into herself, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she kissed her teeth.

“You know what,” she accused, gathering her things.

“No, we don’t. Want to introduce us?” Tosha laughed at the haughty way she huffed.

Jade didn’t explain anything as she headed towards the door, closing it behind her softly.

“Yo, she just dipped!” Kailoni chuckled. “Oooooooh I got a feeling something done happened!”

Aurora’s brows furrowed as she watched her other two friends peek through the curtains, swapping conspiracies.

She had a feeling something happened as well….

* * *

The term “so and so was a bundle of nerves” had never resonated with Aurora more than it did at that moment. Which made no sense the more she thought about it as she was  _conducting_ the interviews. Not the other way around. **  
**

They were sitting around a dark oak desk in one of the conference rooms at  _Red Hen_  going over the interview questions Ari had spent the entire night agonizing over. The first candidate was scheduled to come in at any moment and Aurora was the one feeling like she was going to throw up.

“Can I go to the bathroom before we start?” she quietly asked Jade.

“Really? You have to pee right before we start when we’ve been sitting in here for 20 minutes?”

“I feel like I’m gonna throw up.”

Kamia looked up at her, passing her a bottle of seltzer from the group in the middle of the table.

“Why are you so nervous, Hun? You’re giving someone else a job not the other way around.”

Aurora opened the bottle, the cool liquid only helping her slightly. “I know but I don’t want to fuck this up somehow.”

Kamia only shook her head at that.

“Did you print out the job descriptions, Jade?”

Ari blinked at the coldness in her tone and the wordless way Jade pulled out the stack of crisp papers. Whatever had been going on between them clearly wasn’t resolved yet. She bent her head forward in an attempt to catch her best friend’s eyes but was ignored altogether.

_Ouch._

She pulled her phone out to text her friend just as the first candidate walked in. Kamia’s hand slipped under the table and over hers, pushing it and her phone down. Silently telling her to put it away.

“Mr. Owens,” Kamia greeted warmly, reaching out to shake his hand. “Thank you so much for joining us.

Aurora watched with growing awe as both Kamia and Jade worked together as a team. They fed off each other’s energies without so much as looking at the other, asking proper backup questions and jotting down notes in perfect syncrasy. Aurora barely needed to ask anything, instead, she answered some of the questions the prospects had for her. What were her expectations? What got her in the writing business? Why she wanted to go on tour and the like. By the end of the day, Ari had no clue what she had even been nervous about.

“It looks like we know who we’re going with, huh?” Aurora questioned needlessly, looking down at the names she’d highlighted. The same two names Kamia had suggested.

“Looks like it,” Kam agreed, standing to stretch and pop her back. “God that was longer than I wanted it to be.”

Ari shot her a look at that. “Really? It was barely even three hours. I thought we would have been here longer.” She gave Jade a quiet glance, seeing as how the woman was already packing her things.

Kamia gave a short laugh. “If it took that long, we didn’t vet the right people.” She gathered her things and pulled Ari in for a quick hug. “I’m really proud of you, girl. You did well, just like I knew.”

Heat came to Aurora’s cheeks as her heart did a happy flip at the praise from someone she looked up to.

“Thank you, but you guys did all the work.” She pulled her lip through her teeth and decided to go for broke. “Lunch? There’s a shawarma place that just opened around the block.”

Kamia’s smile faltered slightly and she shook her head, the shells in her locs tapping against her glasses.

“I’m gonna have to pass, sis. I need to send Mitchell and Jovan their offer of employment letters and I have a call with your cousin in an hour. Rain check?”

Ari sighed quietly and nodded. There was still so much work to be done. The thought made the nerves return to her for a slightly different reason. “Why do I feel like I need to be more involved in this process?”

“We’ll bring you in when it’s necessary. Until then, you spend your time relaxing and maybe thinking of the angle you want to use to connect with your readers.” Kam dropped a kiss to her cheek. “I’ll be in touch.”

“Later,” Aurora waved at her retreating figure before she looked back at her other friend. She rolled her lips and took a step closer to her. Cautiously. “What about you, bitch? Wanna go get some gyros?”

“Can’t,” came Jade’s clipped answer.

Aurora blinked, it stung again. “Oh,” she whispered, lamely, trying to think of a way to get her friend to smile or even  _talk_. “I guess I’ll just go with Erik then. Since you’re too busy to hang out with your bestie.”

Jade only dropped her cellphone into her bag with an agitated huff, picking it up and throwing it over her shoulder. “That sounds good. Have fun, babe.” She kissed her cheek and walked swiftly out of the room.

“What the fuck?” Ari whispered to the chairs as she too gathered her things to leave.

She turned the events, and the week so far, over in her thoughts again as she drove home. Finishing these interviews now meant that her social media pages were next. Which meant putting her face out there. Her fingers tightened on the wheel. Rashad had called her right before she’d left her apartment to chat about her growing career and joke that she’d soon outshine him. The jokes, though made in pride, did nothing to quell the fear bubbling deep inside her. This is was getting real. And she was starting to feel the effects.

Aurora parked her car two spots away from Erik’s. She had seen him earlier in the day but had barely spoken to him in the elevator. Maybe she should pay him a visit.

Her heels clicked loudly on the tiled floors of the lobby as she came to stand next to Candice. They struck up a conversation about her annual get together. Ari nodded her head kindly, letting her know she’d be attending as she had last year. They rode the elevator together, Candice babbling about what party favors she was going to have this year and her newly remodeled kitchen. Aurora paid her little mind, her own swirling with thoughts of the tour. She waved absentmindedly when they’d gotten to her floor, body on autopilot as she made her way into her apartment. Her phone pinged with emails almost the entire time it took her to make a cup of tea, the chime making her shake each time it rang out.

Kamia wasn’t joking when she said she wasn’t through for the day. A quick glance at her email inbox showed she’d set up meetings with Rashad, a graphic designer and both the candidates they’d selected that day. All happening next week.

“This shit really happening,” Aurora nearly shuddered. Her mug shook as she brought it to her lips.

Tomorrow. She would look at the emails tomorrow.

Her laptop gave one more ping before she snapped it closed, turning off the notifications on her phone too, for good measure.

She just needed the rest of the day to breathe, she told herself as she walked back to her bedroom to strip and take a shower. Which did nothing to calm her down at all. By the time she got out she was so wound up she could barely sit to rub shea butter into her skin.

“Ugh!” she complained, pushing her the heels of her hands into her eyes, willing herself not to cry. It wouldn’t solve anything.

She needed a distraction.

A text was sent to Erik before she could stop herself or feel bad for using him this way.

_Hey, you busy?_

Laundry hadn’t been done, so she pulled on the grey biker set sitting at the front of her closet before slipping on her  _Uggs_  and went over to Erik’s place without waiting for his answer.

He’d make everything better.

He always did.

* * *

There were reasons Aurora never drank the way she did when she was in college anymore. Her posture right now - bowed over the commode, a hair clip barely keeping her coils back while she heaved and spewed the lining of her stomach against the porcelain - was the biggest one. Whatever was in that bottle Erik had poured from the night before had to be made of hellfire, she thought as she finally pulled back to wipe her nose and mouth.

Maybe Jade had been right about him.

“Fuckin’ demon,” she moaned.

Getting off the ground and into the shower proved to be a feat in itself but she managed. The hot spray beat over her longer than she should have let it considering she had woken up much later than planned. She dressed and sent a text to Dr. Brown letting her know she’d be late due to sickness as she brushed her teeth.

The anxiety from the day before crept back over her as she drove in a silent car to Wilshire Boulevard. She had yet to open any of the emails she’d gotten the night before while she was drowning her pains in Wakandan rum. Especially the one from Mitchell. The title alone made her heart rate spike.

_FW: Interview with Glen Lewis, Poetry Magazine._

His credentials were no joke. How he had managed to snag an interview with one the oldest and leading monthly poetry journal in the English-speaking world in less than 24 hours, she had no clue. It only served to further prove how quickly the book tour was approaching. The timeline Kamia had programmed into her phone felt like some sort of bad omen.

An uneven breath pushed passed her lips as Aurora parked in one of the visitor’s spots, coming faster and faster with each exhale. Her head swam for a second and she blinked hard. She knew what this was.

A panic attack.

“Fuck,” she muttered, pulling her phone out with shaky hands to load up the breathing app Brandee had suggested. She watched the circle expand, pause, and shrink, attempting to match her breathing with its cycle.

Shame coursed through her as tears began to fall down her cheeks. Why was this so hard? She loved writing and wanted to share it with others but even the mention of this tour had her emotions spiraling out of control. It scared her. She had begun to lie awake at night thinking of all the ways this could go horribly and  _he_  was always the reason.

Michael was  _always_ the reason.

She wiped the tears out of her eyes, focusing back in on the screen so that she could collect herself. Battling this started with talking about it and she couldn’t do that if she didn’t make it to her appointment. So, Ari focused.

In. Hold. Out. In. Hold. Out.

Over and over until the breaths came more naturally and her chest loosened enough for her to start to relax, pulse returning to its normal rate.

Aurora wiped her face and nose one final time before exiting the car and walking into the front doors.

But two hours later she didn’t feel any better.

She shuffled into the lobby of her apartment building feeling defeated. Taking small bites of the buttered roll she’d gotten from the corner market, she waited for the elevators to come, mulling over the session.

Brandee had explained to her in an even, understanding tone that what she was experiencing was a normal side effect of leaving her comfort zone. And the only way to beat it was to face it.

_“Our subconscious brains go into a sort of panic mode when we decide to finally leave our areas of complacency, or comfort zone,” she’d said. “It starts to create these daydreams and scenarios where everything goes wrong as a sort of defense mechanism.” She paused with a nostalgic look on her face. “How many times have you explained your dreams or ideas to someone just to have them tell you that you’re crazy or have them list the risks doing chasing them? This is resistance to change is what I mean. You were perfectly fine with releasing your last book because you were still ‘safe.’ No one could find you because you were hiding behind your pseudonym. The risk was much smaller and the reward seemed much greater. But this tour, showing your face, giving the world a piece of your life, stepping back into the community, it’s daunting to you because you don’t have that safety net. Does Michael play a part in that fear? Of course he does but, Ari, that isn’t all you’re afraid of. And until you take that first step, until you greet the world with squared shoulders and the determination I know is lying within you, you’ll never know that most of this does not live outside of your imagination. Don’t let your brain win. It’s heart over mind.”_

It all  _sounded_  dandy.

Aurora stepped onto the elevator with a huge sigh, feeling slightly more human now that she was getting food in her system. The roll had seemed like a great idea, as she didn’t think the packet of nuclear 2x spicy chicken ramen she had been eyeing would work as effectively.

There was also the sound of Erik’s voice gently berating her for even considering that helped kibosh the entire idea.

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips for the first time that day at the thought of her nosy, gently demanding neighbor. She stepped off the elevator and glanced at his door briefly. He wasn’t home, the shiny red NSX nowhere to be found when she parked her car. His work days seemed longer this week. She wouldn’t hear from him until well after six pm some nights.

It didn’t mean they weren’t communicating though.

The texting thread between the two of them continued to grow as usual, only pausing when one or the other was tied up with something. Ari honestly loved it for Erik’s never-ending supply of reaction pictures. He’d always had her beat, chuckling as she wrote empty threats to never bake for him again. Their conversations never failed to lift her sour mood.

Just like it was now.

Each step seemed easier with him in swimming around her thoughts. Her friendship with him was the godsend she didn’t know she needed and she was thankful for it every day.

Maybe she should tell him.

God himself must have approved of that thought because the elevator pinged open behind her, Erik’s tall frame stepping out of the cab making Aurora hastily swallow the piece of bread in her mouth. Her eyes slipped over his body as she spun all the way around, shook.

Erik in a suit was her  _weakness_. [The one](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Fp%2FBtmSPq5hh_-%2F%3Futm_source%3Dig_share_sheet%26igshid%3D1unczel0g1t6k&t=NjdiNjZjMzYxM2Q1MzBkNGY2ZTJjYTJhMmVjOTc2ZTg2OGE2NzU0MSwzRVBmZmpzdg%3D%3D&b=t%3AhduukGkrPWWm5xXH6vMQHA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fprincessstevens.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F183325165440%2Foverstimulated-12&m=0) he had been poured into today solidified that. His crisp white shirt and navy polka-dotted tie were the perfect choices to go with the denim type blazer that stretched across his torso. Navy pants hugged his thighs with every step. But it was the gold-framed glasses he pushed up his broad nose that were the star of the show. The light bounced off them, making his humor-filled eyes seem lighter, the gold caps he flashed complimenting them.

He was her walking, talking, orgasm. She wasn’t sure if she’d whimpered aloud or not.

Talking. Erik’s lips were moving as he came to stop a few feet in front of her.

She licked her suddenly dry lips with an even drier tongue, clearing her throat to make speaking easier.

“W-what?”

Deep dimples popped out as she shook his head, amused by her brain’s inability to think.

“I asked if you were sick this morning,” he gestured to the roll held loosely in her fingers. “Trying to soak up the alcohol?”

Nodding. She could do nodding.

“You fed me hellfire in a bottle last night, Stevens,” she accused as she bought the roll to her lips again. “I thought we were friends. I shared my puddin with you!”

Erik laughed heartily, obviously understanding the  _Friends_  reference.

“Nah, that’s your fault. I opened the bottle, but  _you_  drank almost the entire thing yourself.” His face turned slightly more serious. “You don’t know your limit, huh?”

Aurora balked. The entire bottle? She searched her brain, not remembering that. Come to think of it, she didn’t remember how she had even gotten home and into bed. Hadn’t had a chance to really think it over between running to the toilet when she’d woken up and trying to make it to therapy. The last thing she’d remembered was sitting down on the floor, asking Erik about his friends and then…nothing.

Her eyes fell to the carpet, straining her brain, trying to corral it into remembering, but nothing was coming to her.

Had she blacked out?

Erik kissing his teeth loudly had her looking back up at him and she winced. He looked annoyed.

“Did I really drink the whole bottle?”

He stared at her for a few long seconds, expression blank as he studied her. He wore it like a mask and Ari realized she’d seen this before.

“You don’t remember?”

She slowly shook her head. “The last thing I remember was sitting on the floor with you, asking about your friends.”

_She comes over often?_

Aurora’s eyes bulged for a second. Shit! She had accused him of sleeping with his coworker. The roll almost fell out of her hand. His answer had been all the clarification she had needed.

She prayed that was the wildest thing they’d spoken about.

Erik chuckled, breaking her thoughts.

“You look like you remembering something,” he laughed again, putting his hand in his pocket. “Was it you accusing me of being gay?”

All of the blood felt like it drained from her body instantly.

She didn’t.

She _couldn’t._

Why the fuck would she  _even_?

“What?” she screeched.

Aurora knew she was a talker when she was drunk, but to go so far as to bring up that  _embarrassing_  ass conversation with the subject himself was too fucking much. Her eyes quickly darted over to the window closest to her, contemplating how fast it would take her to open it and launch herself out of it. Spontaneous combustion was also a thing, right?

Erik shook his head at her, the annoyance swirling with humor in his eyes.

“What do you even remember, Princess?”

 _Not much apparently_ , she thought angrily to herself.

“I-I remember feeling anxious and asking if you were home,” she explained, eyes going down to the ground again. “You offered me the devil’s nectar, I asked about your friends…you asked about mine?”

There was something she was missing, she  _knew_. Could feel it laying just beyond the haze her subconscious had created. So close to remembering but not yet reaching it. Whatever it was felt important.

The silence that followed had her peeking up at him again. His plump lips were pulled down at the corners, a touch of sadness to his expression.

“That’s it?”

She straightened her back and nodded, taking a step closer to him.

“Yeah.”

Erik rolled his plump lips and ran a hand through his messy locs, a few falling over his left eye.

“So I said all that shit about how you make me feel and you don’t even remember?”

_What?_

Aurora’s mind went into a panic mode as her body stayed frozen in place. There was no way in hell she would forget that. No matter how much alcohol she consumed, it couldn’t be possible. But with the mildly hurt expression Erik was sporting in front of her, she was starting to believe it could be. How she made him feel? In what sense? As friends? As lovers? What had even lead to that? She had so many questions.

And still, the silence stretched even as her heart beat louder in her ear.

Aurora licked her dry lips.

“W-what?”

Suddenly, a smile broke out across Erik’s face, chasing away the darkness.

“Gotcha, Princess.”

And he laughed. This man had almost made her heat fall out of her ass and here he stood in front of her, laughing. Like this was the funniest thing in the world.

Ari balled her fist at her side, brows furrowing so low she almost couldn’t see.

She was going to  _kill_  this nigga.

Erik wiped his eye under his glasses as his laughter died down, sensing her bad mood.

“Nah, Princess,” he said. “You don’t get to be fuckin’ mad. After all the shit you said and did to me last night, this is mild payback.”

That made her even  _more_  confused. Payback. What the hell had she said, or  _done_ , to warrant this?

A loud chime rang between them just as she was fixing her lips to cuss the man out and she blinked. Had that come from his wrist? She looked down at the beads there, swearing she saw a dull flash of blue emitting from a few of them before it was gone. Erik pulled his ringing cell phone from his back pocket, whatever name on the screen made him cuss quietly in Xhosa.

“Yintoni kanye ngoku?” he muttered before he looked back at her. “I gotta take this, Princess. It’s work. I’ll talk to you later?”

Aurora wanted to tell him no for once. They needed to finish this conversation. But she didn’t want to keep him from work.

“Yeah, okay. I understand. Talk later.”

He gave her a lopsided smile as he backed down the hall.

“Don’t look like that. Maybe I’ll tell you what happened. One day.”

She rolled her eyes, her good mood returning.

“You fuckin’ better.”

He gave another chuckle, saying goodbye as he finally answered the ringing phone and stepped into his apartment, leaving her blinking in the hallway alone.

The short walk to her apartment felt longer as she went over the event in her head, mind blanking at the same spot over and over.

It was giving her a headache.

“Ugh, fuck it,” she moaned as she sat the corner of her roll on her nightstand before crawling into bed.

Maybe she would remember after a nap.

* * *

 

Ari did not remember after her nap. **  
**

It wasn’t even a nap if she were being honest. She’d laid down, expecting to catch a few z’s and had woken up at six am hungry enough to eat the world’s biggest taco. She’d settled with a homemade breakfast burrito, watching the comings and goings on the street below the window as attempted to think back.

Still, nothing came to her.

“Fuck it,” she huffed as she walked over to make a cup of blue lady black tea. She’d just have to wait for Erik to tell her.  

The rest of the morning and most of her afternoon was spent answering emails and updating her google calendar. It seemed like she’d be booked and busy for the next few weeks with various interviews, meetings, and photo shoots. Jovan, her Media Manager, sending her a few layout mockups for her Instagram page had been the biggest shocker. She had no clue that this much thought went into social media branding. Figuring that the people who ran the account just happened to be good with aesthetics. It gave her a bigger appreciation for the ones she followed. Thumbing through the examples as she prepared her salmon for the week, she settled on two and sent them to Kamia and Jade for their opinions. They were the professionals, after all.

Her phone rang not soon after,  _That Bitch Jade_ lighting up the screen. Aurora stuck the remaining three containers into her refrigerator and answered it, chewing on the asparagus spear in the corner of her mouth.

“Hello?”

Heeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy biiiiiiiiiitch!”

The giggle Ari gave was loud and happy, her first laugh in what felt like a week.

“Oh _now_ you know who I am?” she accused, sticking the phone between her ear and shoulder as she started on the few dishes in her sink. “Yo ass has barely spoken to me since you got back from Vegas. Whatchu want? You got my email?”

Jade smacked her lips. “Aint nobody call you wantin’ to talk about work. It’s Friday, bitch. And Fridays are for turnin’ up. Whatchu doin’ tonight? Finally lettin’ Old Nick drown in your pussy?”

Ari rolled her eyes heavenward. Whatever had been plaguing her friend seemed to have passed. She was back on her bullshit.

“No, J. I don’t even know where he is or what he’s doing tonight. I was just going to rewatch  _Game of Thrones_  for the millionth time. Or maybe start  _You_  on Netflix since everyone keeps talking about it.” Or maybe not. The idea of watching a man stalk a woman was not high up on the list of things she enjoyed.

“Yeah, no. You got plans now. Meet me at my house in an hour.”

“What? Why?”

“Because we goin’ out. And make sure you got some cute shit on too. Comfy ass hoe.”

She hung up.

Ari pulled her phone away, scowling at it before she finished the dishes. She didn’t want to get dressed or go out, but she hadn’t spent time with her best friend in nearly two weeks. Plus, she wanted to get the scoop on what was happening between her and Kamia. So Ari took a shower, donned a cute peplum top, destroyed jeans and her favorite heels and headed over to Jade’s place within an hour.

Jade threw open the door before she’d even gotten a chance to knock, the heavy beat of  _Money_  by Cardi spilling out onto the road.

“Bout time, sis,” Jade said, swaying away in her black PVC skirt.

Ari rolled her eyes, shutting the door behind, and following Jade into the kitchen. The music was louder there and Jade was snapping her fingers to the beat, two-stepping with a cup in her hand.

“You want some?” she offered, holding the drink out to Ari who declined. It was tequila from the smell and the open bottle of Cuervo on the counter. Aurora and tequila did not mix.

“Where are we going?” she spoke over the music, eyeing the bottle noting how empty it was. Tonight was going to be a hot mess, she could feel it in her bones.

Jade shrugged and drained her cup. “It’s singles night down at NV so I figured we’d go there.” She eyed her clothes before shooting her a look. “Didn’t I tell you to dress up? The fuck is you wearin’?”

Annoyance bounced around Ari’s chest. She thought she’d looked cute when she’d left.  “What’s wrong with my clothes?”

“There’s too many of them.” Jade took her arm, pulling her up the stairs towards her bedroom.“We tryna pull some niggas tonight and you over here dressed like you bouta go to church,” her friend muttered, walking into her closet to hunt down “appropriate clothes.”

Aurora took a seat on the bed, grateful she could hear herself think. She pulled her phone out, wanting to ask Erik how his day was when Jade emerged from the closet with a stretchy rose gold material in her hands.

“Put this on, you nun.”

Aurora picked up the articles handed to her.

“Uh, J. I need a strapless bra in order to wear this.” The tube top was cute, with its slits and golden buttons lining the front.

“Just don’t wear one. We channeling Rihanna for the day.”

The look on Ari’s face said clearly how she felt about that. Jade’s may look good in her bodysuit, but Ari did not need every nigga staring at her chest.

“I’d feel better with one, sis.”

“Fine.”

Aurora gave her friend the luxury of assisting her with getting ready. Which meant she let Jade poke, prod, paint, and pull her for nearly forty minutes before she was finally happy.

“The club is going to be closed at this rate.”

“Oh shut up, Aurora. I’m almost done.” Jade swiped the liquid lipstick applicator across her bottom lip once more before she doused her in finishing spray. Aurora coughed dramatically, wheezing and putting her hand over her chest for effect. Her friend only laughed.

“Yaaasss bitch you look gudt! Go look.”

Aurora walked slowly in the invisible heels over to the full-length mirror and stared at her [reflection](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2Fe8%2F7d%2Fe8%2Fe87de8acc68a776e38207ec9bef2170c.jpg&t=ZDQ2YTYwODI4MWUwZTg2OGYyMTAyMjhlZmY5OWQ4YTA5MDQ3YjhmYiwzRVBmZmpzdg%3D%3D&b=t%3AhduukGkrPWWm5xXH6vMQHA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fprincessstevens.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F183325165440%2Foverstimulated-12&m=0). She did look good. The way Jade had teased her hair out into the huge, fluffy bun was her favorite part of the outfit. She adjusted the skirt to fall a little over her belly button as self-consciousness set in. She was getting fit but not enough to have her entire tummy out.

“Stop that,” Jade scolded gently, coming over to adjust it back and hand her the clutch she’d transferred all her things to. “You look sexy as fuck, bitch. C’mon, let’s go bring some niggas home.”

A small argument broke out in Jade’s foyer as they decided whether to drive or to Uber.

“Just give me the keys,” Jade had huffed. “I’ll dive.”

“Nah, we ain’t doing that,” Ari had said firmly. Jade was already half in the bag. She wanted to make it back in one piece. Her friend drove like a hellcat when she was  _sober_.  “I got it.” It was a good excuse not to drink.

The car ride there had been loud. Jade had tuned the music up when Aurora turned to ask why she was scowling at her phone the way she was. The way she had been all week.

“It’s been actin’ stupid. I probably need to update soon,” Jade had lied before turning the dial on the volume.

Aurora knew when she was being dismissed.

NV was packed when they arrived, the party in full swing. The glow from the bracelets around cut through the air giving the place an EDM vibe. Aurora turned to find Jade lining her left wrist with the green glowsticks.

“Here bitch,” she said passing her two yellow ones. “It means you’re good.”

Ari nodded, putting one on each wrist before grabbing Jade’s arm to lead her to the bar.

And watched Jade actively try to give herself alcohol poisoning.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” she yelled over the music, reaching out to grab at Jade’s wrist to stop her from taking her seventh shot of whiskey.

Her friend scowled dramatically at her as she pulled her arm away to slam the drink back, not even bothering with the chaser they’d provided.

“I’m allllll the way good,” she slurred with a slow blink and smile as the music changed, _Please Me_ making the crowd even more active around them. “This my shit, Ari. C’mon, dick time.”

Ari rolled her eyes as she was dragged out into the throng of bumping bodies, swatting a hand that tugged her around the waist. Jade pulled her in close, placing her hands on her hips to coax her into following her lead; hips rolling and bodies swaying against each other languidly. Jade’s hands wandered across Ari’s backside, giving the cheeks a squeeze with a quick wink of her black lined eyes. She laughed at her antics, returning the gesture before a pair of strong arms wrapped around her middle, pulling her back against a tall figure.

“Damn, ma,” a cognac laden groan called out to her, making her stomach roll uncomfortably. He wrecked of Hennessey. “Y’all out here diggin’ on each other making all of us jealous. Let me give you something she can’t.”

Aurora broke out of his grasp with a scowl, turning and shoving him away from her in a move she wouldn't have been able to do months ago. Handsy niggas like him were the reason she never danced at clubs. Men thought everyone was fair play. What was the point of the glowsticks if they weren’t going to  _follow the rules?_

“Back the fuck up,” she growled at him, body immediately taut and ready to spring. She tried to ignore the way her heart kicked up as her fight or flight senses went into overdrive. Fists shaking at her side as he stared at her with a slightly angry expression. Jade would be of no help if this went sour as she was currently wrapped around someone else, hips winding back to the beat of the music.

In the end she didn't need the backup.

“Aight, relax. Y’all pretty bitches always stuck up,” he muttered as he walked back to where he’d come.

Aurora rubbed at her temples, the whole endeavor now grating on her nerves. She had just wanted to hang out with her best friend. She turned to said woman then, intent on asking if she was ready to leave, and caught her in a passionate lip-lock.

_Is she fucking serious right now?_

Aurora pulled her friend away with an apologetic grin to her partner.

“Sorry, but we really need to go,” she said with sincerity, tugging Jade towards the exit.

“What the fuck, Ari?” Jade screeched, pulling her arm away.

“I should be asking  _you_  that. The fuck you even doing right now?”

“Tryna get some dick tonight. So if you’ll excuse me,” she turned, attempting to get back to what she was doing.

“Uh, I don’t think so. Aren’t you forgetting something?” Jade gave her a puzzled look, the effects of the alcohol showing as her as swam in her skull. Ari pressed a hand to her forehead, trying to be calm. “Kamia.  _Mimi._  The woman you’ve been pretending to hate while you’ve been secretly going on dates for the past few weeks? Ringing a damn bell?”

Jade kissed her teeth loudly. “Ain’t nobody  _pretending_. And I’m sick of pussy. Shit is always moody.”

“I think the only moody pussy here is  _you_.” 

Jade attempted to walk away again, her steps staggering and uneven. 

 _Time to go._  “Nah, that’s it. We’re leaving.”

“No,  _you_  can leave. I’ma grown ass fuckin’ woman. I’ll get home myself.”

“You’re not actin’ like a grown woman right now. You don’t even know him. You bein’ fuckin’ reckless right now and I’m not having the shit. Let’s go.”

Aurora ignored her friend’s protests, ready to throw her over her shoulder if need be. Instead, she dragged her to the front and out to her car, listening to Jade curse and screech at her the whole time. And the whole ride back. She complained about everything, the temperature, her stomach, how fast Ari was driving. And how she had pulled her away from getting potential dick. It grated on Aurora’s nerves and she would  _not_ stop.

Not even after Ari had pulled over so she could puke.

“What is your problem?” Aurora nearly screamed at her friend as they pulled up to her house. Cutting the engine and turning towards her.

Jade sat there stoically, face turned to the window, eyes unblinking, offering no response.

Aurora gave an agitated sigh at the stretch of silence she received in answer, rubbing her temples in a vain attempt to get rid of the headache she could feel creeping up on her. This whole night, the week if she was being honest, had been one big question mark when it had come to the woman in her car. She was trying to be a good friend and wait for her to be ready to talk but, as things stood right now, she honestly could care less.

Ari had just tugged on the doorknob when Jade  _finally_  found her voice again.

“Kamia’s mad at me.”

Aurora turned to her again, eyeing her carefully. The flatness in her voice was telling.

“What happened?”

Jade gave a great heaving sigh, biting her lip. An air of uncertainty and defeatedness surrounded her as hung her head. Aurora’s eyes widen by a fraction, the atmosphere new and completely uncharacteristic coming from the sure fired woman next to her. Whatever this was, it was eating away at her.

“She’s mad at this stupid Snapchat story,” Jade admitted. “Which is bullshit because she’s not my-…I don’t even wan-..we  _aren’t_  dating.”

There was a story behind this.

“What _happened_?”

“I was at a party on the roof of some fuckin’ club,” she shook her head. “I don’t even remember the name of it…Drais? Some shit like that. I was in VIP, J. Cole was performing and we had the best seats in the house. Me and some blonde. Chrissy. I was putting up a video and the girl just climbed into my lap and started kissing on my neck. I was half in the bag, barely even felt the shit. The next morning I woke up and Kamia had flooded my messages. Asking ‘are you fucking serious?’ and shit.”

Ari could feel the impatience on her face as she waved her hand in the air, wanting to get to what her friend was avoiding. “And?”

“ _And_  I told her she needed to fuckin’ chill. She not even my girl.”

Ari wanted to smack her friend _so hard_. Instead, she climbed out of the car, going around to help the other woman so that she wouldn’t fall on her face. An internal chuckle bounced around her mind as she pulled Jade up the stairs to the door of her house, nostalgia gripping her. They had done this so many times in college. Jade pissy drunk. Ari carrying her. Those were simpler times.

“You’re such a fuckin’ idiot, Jade.”

Jade leaned against the wall in her foyer as she kicked off her shoes with a disbelieving look.  “Because I told the truth?”

Aurora shook her head, reaching out to help her up the stairs to her room. “No. Because you can’t even admit you like her.”

“I know  _you_  aren’t talking.”

 _Wow_ , she thought. Jade was really not holding back.

“Ouch, J.” Ari turned on her heels, ready to leave. She wasn’t in the mood to revisit this conversation for the umpteenth time.

An arm shot out to stop her. “Shit, wait, Ari,” Jade turned her around gently, regret on full display. She sighed, “Why do we suck at this?”

“I don’t even know.”

“I mean I get why  _you_  suck at this.”

“ _Ouch_ , J.”

Jade turned back to her, “I don’t mean it like that. You had to deal with that piece of shit nigga, Michael. Who I’ll _kill_ if I ever meet.”

Aurora urged Jade up the stairs at the mention of that name, not wanting her friend to see the reaction she still had.

“Yeah, Michael,” she whispered, as they crossed into her room.

“But what the fuck is up with  _me?_ ” Jade’s skirt and top hit the floor as she quickly undressed. “I don’t have any problem with this shit.”

“You don’t have problems with having sex with people, no,” Ari agreed, handing her a shirt to sleep in. “But when was the last time you had a relationship?”

The pause Jade took was almost eight months pregnant. “…Highschool?”

“ _Exactly_. C’mon let’s get you in the bed.”

She helped Jade into the bathroom, ensuring the woman didn’t need to throw up again before she left her to brush her teeth and wash her face. Tiredness was settling into her bones as Aurora trekked back up the stairs, a bottle of water and two Excedrin in her hands.

“Why her, Ari?” Jade asked with a sleepy mumble, the covers pulled up to the chin like a child.  “Why not someone else?”

A smile curved her lips as she put the items down on the ottoman next to the large platform bed. She stroked the friend’s hair out of her closing eyes, bending down to give her a kiss to her temple. Jade was a smart woman. Stubborn, but smart. She knew that she would figure this out on her own.

“I love you, Ari.”

“I love you too, Jade.”

* * *

“No no no!”

She jerked her door hard, putting all of the weight of her shoulder into it. It didn’t budge an inch.

“Shit, fuck, goddamn, bitchass fucking motherfucker!” she growled, pulling her leg back to kick the thing as hard as she could, hurting her toes. “Ow! Fuck!”

How? Why? Aurora wanted to cry as she pulled her foot up to her hand, hopping around the hallway until the pain subsided to a numbness. It was creeping up on one AM and she was locked out of her apartment.

“Nooooooo,” she whined as she pressed her forehead against the cool fiberglass barrier. This was a shitty end to a rather shitty night. She had been so looking forward to scrubbing the makeup off of her face and diving head first into the cool sheet of her bed that she hadn’t bothered to check and see if Jade had transferred all of her belongs to the bag she’d given. And she had made sure to lock the door behind her when she left.

“Fuck,” she sighed again before pulling her face back to look at her dying cell phone. Jade was dead to the world and wouldn’t be reachable until she roused from her inebriated coma. Which would be around noon the next day. Aurora was stranded.

“What are you doing?” A familiar voice called out to her making her look up in shock. Erik stood in the hall, a grin all over his face. He looked her up and down slowly. “You have any idea what time it is, Princess?”

A painful grimace pulled at her face. “Sorry, E. I kinda left my keys at Jade’s house.”

He huffed with a shake of his head. “You actually locked your door? I’m fuckin’ impressed.”

Ari rolled her eyes and shuffled over to him in the uncomfortable heels she hadn’t bothered to change out of. “You’re so funny.”

“You look nice,” he smiled down at her when she stopped in front of her. His eyes lit up when he noticed the glowsticks still on her wrists. “Single’s night at NV, huh?”

Her head cocked in suspicion. “You were there?”

“Nah.” He didn’t offer any other explanation, his face looking like he was attempting to smother a smile.

 _This nigga and his inside jokes_ , she thought in annoyance as she pulled out her phone, ready to call for an open up. It took a few seconds before it hit her.

“Ugh, this nigga not gone answer.” Erik looked at her then, suspicion in his own eyes. It was weird and out of place to her until the words echoed in her mind. “The Superintendent!” she cleaned up. Why? She didn’t know. “H-he never answers on the weekend let alone past one in the fucking morning.” It was worth a try though as she had no other option. Aurora pulled up his name and was ready to push the call button when Erik grabbed the phone gently from her fingers.

“Why don’t you just stay here,” Erik said arm motioning to the inside of his apartment. “We’ll call the Super in the morning."

She glanced at her phone in his hand and then through the open door. Sleeping in Erik’s apartment was a kind of intimacy she wasn’t sure she was ready for. She could just sleep in the Dart or go back to Jade’s to try and wake her.

“I don’t know Erik I don’t wan-”

“It’s not a request, Ari,” he said backing into the door. “Get ya ass in here. I’m not lettin’ you sleep in your car or some shit.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. How did he know what she was thinking?

Erik made another impatient gesture into his apartment with her cell when she didn’t move.

“Fine!” she relented, throwing her hands up in the air and walking inside. “But I’m sleeping on the couch.”

He snorted. “Yeah, no. Go get in my bed, it’s comfortable.”

“I am  _not_  putting you out of your bed, Stevens. This couch is more than fine.” Aurora kicked off the torture devices on her feet and rounded the couch, getting ready to lay down when strong arms scooped her up and started walking. “Erik!” she cried, kicking legs feet in the air uselessly.

“I already told your stubborn ass no,” he stated, walking into his bedroom and putting her down gently. “I want you to be comfortable. I’ll take the couch.” He looked her up and down with a lick of his lips. “You gonna be good in that?”

She shifted slightly on her bare feet. The thong she was wearing was not the best sleeping option. Neither were the clothes Jade had forced her in. She bit her lip and shook her head.

“Not really.”

Erik smiled and turned towards his closet. “Hold on, let me get you something to sleep in.”

She turned around and looked at his bed, gasping. It was fucking  _huge_ ; decked out in masculine crimson sheets, satin pillows spilling at the top.

“This shit is expansive,” she breathed, walking over and stroking the soft comforter at the near the foot of his bed. She could sleep diagonally across the mattress and still fit at least four of her on it.

“It’s a Ceasar.”

She scrunched up her nose at her limited knowledge of bed sizing.

“Is that bigger than a California King?”

“Yeah, it’s a European size about twenty inches bigger,” he handed her a folded t-shirt. “Here.”

“It’s,” she said shaking out the oversized tee, the word “STEVENS” printed on the back in bold black letters, “massive.”

Erik chuckled, ruffling her hair, “That’s what she said, Princess.”

She grinned up at him goofily and turned back to the bed sighing. “Erik this is too much. You could fit ten of my 4’11” ass in this bed and we could all roll around comfortably.”

“That’s a hell of a mental image,” he whispered to what seemed like more to himself. He shook his head. “Anyway, ya face is pretty and all but you probably want to wash that shit off right?”

“Please.”

“I think I got some facial wash in my bathroom. It won’t be organic like the shit I know you use but it’ll work.”

“Whatever you have is fine,” Aurora nodded and turned towards his chest of drawers, admiring the shiny watches and cufflinks laid across the top.

His work bag was laid on top, the contents spilling out across the dark wood. Ari laughed, she had a feeling Erik could be a little messy when he was tired. She reached out to push the pens, papers, and folders back inside when a familiar yellow spine caught her attention, making her heart stop. Her hand felt numb as she reached out to pull out a copy of  _Breaking Pointe_.

Her book.

Erik had  _her_  book.

She ran her shaking thumbs over the front cover and the familiar broken pencil meant to show the state of her life when it was released. It felt like a great image at the time. Now it was mocking her.

The book was well loved, the spine cracked in a few places, almost half of it dog eared. She pulled at a random one, her heart overreacting as she looked at the piece.

_I mastered the art of suffocating_

_without drowning._

_I learned how_

_to numb myself as_

_his sweaty_

_mammoth body_

_straddled me_

_in depraved delight._

_But i never mastered_

_the art of forgetting._

_Remembrance_

_remains etched_

_on my bones._

Aurora knew these words, she had written them after all. She could recall exactly what she had been thinking when she wrote them. But looking at them now after discovering them in Erik’s space, they felt dirtier. Wrong.

Aurora felt judged.

“Here, this should work,” Erik’s voice broke her out of her trance.

A jolt went through her and she gripped the book tighter in her hands, denting the pages with the force. She turned slowly to face him, her eye wide as she gazed up at him. Her expression confused him for a moment before he looked down at the book in her straining hands. Aurora schooled her expression to something neutral so he couldn’t read her, a tactic she’d learned with her ex. Show no emotion, especially fear.

“How long have you had this?” her voice sounded robotic in her own ears.

Erik’s jaw clenched as he took in her expressionless face. He held out a face towel towards her, his eyes becoming drawn.

“Around the time we kissed.”

Ari drew in a quick breath. That was was months ago. Why hadn’t he told her?

“What did you think?” she found herself asking before she could catch it. She wanted to know. Needed to know. He’d had a large part of her broken heart with him for a long time. Had dissected it from the looks of it.

Did he think little of her? Pity her? Understand?

Erik’s eyes bounced between her own at the heavy question. The seconds it took him to answer were the longest of her life.

“I think,” he started, voice even, “that there is a lot of pain housed between the pages.”

Pain? He had no clue.

She nodded anyway, her fingers loosening a bit, blood circulating again. The answer was both vague and very telling. Not really giving her what she was looking for.

“That’ it? You didn’t think anything different about me? That I’m……”

_Weak. Scarred. Used. Broken. Beyond fixing._

_Worthless._

She swallowed hard and looked down at the floor. He had to understand. Had to see.

His socked feet came into view before a gentle hand cupped her chin, tilting her face to look up at him again. His eyes were warmer this time. Understanding.

“It gave me a lot to think about, Ari. More questions than answers. But I’m not in a position to judge you in any way. If we based our relationships with others solely on the things they’ve done in the past, you wouldn’t want anything to fuckin’ do with me.”

She swallowed at that. There was no way anything he’d done in the past could eclipse the shame of hers.

“Erik -”

He shook his head gently.

“Nah, ma. You ain’t gotta explain yourself. Not right now,” he continued, voice even more gentle and deeper than before while leaving little room for argument. “You said you’d tell me when you’re ready and that’s what I expect. This,” he tugged the book gently from her fingers to put it back on the dresser, “doesn’t change that. We ain’t comparing pain around here. I see  _you_ , the you that’s here right now. That’s all that matters.”

Emotions pressed behind her eyes as Erik offered her something she’d feared he wouldn’t be able to give after hearing of her past. Acceptance. It birthed a warmth that slipped throughout her slowly, leaving happiness in its wake. A smile spread across her face. He gave her a small smile of his own.

“There’s that smile I love,” he whispered, his thumb caressing her chin. He placed the towel in her hands. “I left you a washcloth on the bathroom sink so you can wash off your makeup. You need water?”

She shook her head gently so she wouldn’t dislodge his hand, still smiling.

“No, this is more than enough.”

“Aight,” he whispered before leaning down to kiss her cheek slowly, moving his hand away. “Good night, Princess.”

She opened her eyes to see him walking out of the room. “Hey, E,” she waited for him to turn. “Thank you. For everything.”

He winked at her. “The door locks from the inside. Get some sleep.”

Aurora let out a long, relieved sigh. She understood the locked door was the reason why he offered his space; so she could feel safe.

“Why are you so damn all-knowing dude?” she asked the air, stripping down, folding her clothes and pulling the t-shirt over her head. It smelled like his fabric softener. She looked over at his chest of drawers. She really did not want to wear the thong Jade had told her was a “must” to bed. Getting a UTI was not very high on her list of “things to do this weekend” list. She shrugged and walked over, pulling out a few drawers before she found the one she was looking for; his underwear. Aurora bit her lip hard as she fingered through his options. Erik liked colors. There were vibrant blues, pastel yellows, deep greens, rich reds and even a few pink pairs as options.

“You continue to shock me, Stevens,” she whispered to herself, shaking her head gently. She picked out a safe black pair, pulled off her thong - tucking them into the folded skirt - and slipped the jersey cotton soft underwear up her the thighs. She immediately wanted to keep them.

Aurora glanced at the door once more her cheeks heating at the thought of Erik finding out she took his boxer briefs before went to wash her face. She didn’t need the lock, she trusted him. She crawled between the soft sheets and groaned. It was so fucking comfortable she never wanted to leave. She could smell his cologne mixed with his scent on the pillows and almost squealed in happiness. This was heaven.

“Good luck kicking me out,” she whispered before her eyes drooped closed. Sleep claimed her seconds later.

* * *

 

There was nothing like that first morning stretch. Your joints popping, muscles straining right before you let go and enjoy the slowly released breath that just seems to calm you each time.

Sated. Relaxed. Tranquil.

Aurora felt all those things and then some as her bare legs rubbed against the smooth sheets beneath her. That night was the best sleep she’d had all week. Erik’s bed was as amazing as it looked. She was usually prone to a little tossing and turning in her sleep yet she had woken up in the same position she’d fallen in; her arms clutching a pillow to her face to breath in what was quickly becoming her favorite smell. This mattress was amazing and she entertained the idea of asking where’d he’d gotten it from before she realized it was probably outside of her price range.

 _The sleep wouldn’t be the same anyway boo_ , her subconscious decided to chime in.  _Unless he rolled around in it with you a few times…_

“Ugghhh,” she moaned quietly, wishing her inner thoughts would just leave her alone for once. But the moment was ruined, so she threw the covers back and went to relieve her body’s early morning call. Erik must’ve been awake too from the sounds coming from the other rooms as she exited the bathroom. She tugged at his shirt where it fell nearly to her knees, pulling her lip between her teeth as she wondered if she should change back into last night’s outift.

“Fuck it,” she whispered to herself. Erik had seen her in shorts. Plus, this covered more than what she had been wearing when she’d arrived. She pulled the door open and padded gently into the living area, spotting Erik at his kitchen island. He was stretching his neck as he thumbed over the screen of his cellphone, a half drank glass of orange juice by his elbow. Sporting those glasses she’d seen him in the other day.

He looked up as she walked further into the space, locking his phone and putting it behind him.

“Mornin’ Princess.”

She grinned at him, waving her sleeve covered hand. “Morning.”

“How’d you sleep?” he questioned, picking the glass back up to finish it.

“Like the dead. Your bed is ridiculously comfortable.” She paused and watched him as he ran his hand over his neck again. “I take it your night wasn’t as comfortable, huh?”

“Something like that. I’ll live, though.” Stubborn man. Ari shook her head at him and it made him smile. “How about this, you can make it up to me by taking me to breakfast.”

She scoffed loudly and rolled her eyes, hands going to her hips. “You’re the reason you’re in pain and I gotta take you out to make up for it?”

“It’s the least you could do. Besides, the Super’s lazy ass probably ain’t up yet. Might as well eat while we wait.”

_This nigga._

He did have a point though.

“Fine,” she relented, realizing she was hungry herself. “But what am I supposed to wear?”

Erik gestured to her borrowed clothes with a smirk. “What’s wrong with that?”

Oh hell naw. “I am  _not_  going out in your shirt and underwear.”

His eyes widened a fraction and he looked at her closer. Gaze heavier as it swept across her body a few times. Voice huskier when he spoke again.

“You wearin’ my draws?”

 _Oh shit_. 

Talk about a fucking slip up.

Aurora swallowed around her embarrassment a few times. The information was already out there. No need to deny it.

“Yeah,” she jutted her chin out slightly. “Is that a problem?”

“Nah.” The heat in that one word was palpable. Erik looked back up at her before he smiled, a small lift of his lips that seemed private in some way. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure you gone look like you swimming in any of my shit.”

Ari let out a silent breath as the moment was broken. He had another point. She also only had the heels from last night. She was wracking her brain to remember if she’d had a pair in her car when she remembered.

“I have an overnight bag in my car,” she slapped herself in the forehead, none too gently and sighed. “I’m such a fucking spaz. Let me put my skirt back on and I’ll go get it.”

“I got it,” Erik told her, going over to the couch to retrieve the bag she’d bought over, grabbing her car key and walking out before she could even protest.

He was being really pushy these last few days…not that she minded terribly. Ari walked over to get her cell, praying to go Jade would be awake in case the Superintendent decided he didn’t need to come in this weekend. She found it at the bottom of her bag, dead as a doornail.

“Great,” she muttered to herself. What had she put out in the universe lately to produce these turns of events?

_You mean being forced to hang out with your walking wet dream?_

_Shut. Up._

At least said dream had a charger in his kitchen. Ari had walked over and helped herself to a charge when he’d returned with her bag in hand.

“Thank you,” she said with a grateful smile. “Be right back.” She went into his half bath to change and freshen up, happy she still had her toothbrush and paste in the front pocket. As well as the change of undergarments and her comfy leggings. She put his boxer briefs into the bag to clean and return to him later.

“You ready?” Erik asked when she emerged, wearing another pair of joggers and a crew neck, and Ari nodded in confirmation.

“Joe’s okay? They have a good breakfast menu.”

He nodded and handed her another crew neck. “Lead the way.”

She pulled it on, the golden Navy insignia laying over her left breast. Erik’s last name stretched across the back again. It was smaller than the shirt last night, fitting her in a layering style.

“It’s from my academy days,” he said walking over and opening the door for her.

Ari nodded and walked over to the elevator, her stomach telling her that she really was hungry.

“I’m  _starving_ ,” she proclaimed once they were inside. She wondered what was on the specials list for the week.

Erik smirked at her from his corner of the elevator as they made their way down.

“What?”

He shook his head slowly. “I didn’t know you were an underwear thief, Princess. Are the ones I’m wearing safe?”

“I didn’t  _steal_  them,” she argued with him, slightly mortified he hadn’t let it go yet. “Ima was them and give them back. Stop tripping.”

“Mmhm,” he hummed when they exited the elevator. He raised his voice higher as they walked past a few people in the hall, drawing attention to them. “You ain’t ask before you took the shits. Hide ya kids, hide ya wife. 12A is stealing all the underwear around here.”

“Aye!” Aurora screeched at him, pulling her hand back to slap him across the back. He had his black ass  _nerve_!

Erik laughed loudly and ran away from the impending attack, leaving Ari with little chance of catching him. One of his steps were four of hers.

“You wait till I catch you!”

His laugh didn’t even sound out of breath as it echoed back towards her. He didn’t even sound out of breath. Meanwhile, it hadn’t even been a full two blocks and Ari was getting winded. He took pity on her, slowing to a jog still laughing.

“You need to get more cardio in, girl. How you gone survive the zombie apocalypse if you can’t run a block and a half?”

“Uuuggghhh,” she groaned coming over to where he was now standing. “Catch me,” was all the warning she gave before she dramatically fainted into his blessedly outstretched arms. “Just leave me here.”

He shook his head at her before he scooped her up. “Aww, poor baby. You want me to carry you?”

“If you must, peasant,” she replied cheekily.

Erik narrowed his eyes at her. “Watch ya mouth before I drop ya ass.”

“You would  _never_ ,” she laughed, reaching up to sling her arms around his neck in case he would.

“Mmhm.”

“This is a great view up here.

Erik broke out laughing, the sound music to Ari’s ears as she leaned against his shoulder.

_This is familiar…._

Erik placed her gently down when they arrived a few minutes later, looking like the journey with her in his arms was  _nothing_. He pulled the door open and waited for her to enter. “Madam.”

She gave a comical curtsey at the polite gesture. He had such good manners. “Thank you, kind sir.”

They both snickered as the walked and snagged a booth near the windows.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite customer,” Jaden drawled comically as he walked over to take their order a few minutes later. “Haven’t seen you in awhile, Ari. You were very close to being dethroned there.”

Aurora raised her brow at him playfully. “Yeah right, you love me too much to replace me.”

Jaden smiled big at that. “You  _might_  be right. What can I get you to drink.”

Aurora ordered a cafe au lait. Erik not surprising her the least bit when he ordered a black coffee.  

“Got it,” he looked up at Ari again. “You guys decide on your food order?”

She looked at Erik who nodded back, his eyes on Jaden’s face.

“Hmm,” she mused as she looked over the specials for the week. “Can I have the french toast with a side of duck bacon?”

Jaden nodded his head with a smile as his pen scratched on the pad.

“And you?” he questioned not bothering to look up at Erik. Who raised an eyebrow at him in annoyance.

“I’ll take the western omelet with turkey sausage, toast, and some fuckin’ eye contact when you talkin’ to me.”

Jaden’s attention snapped over to him. “Right, my bad,” he tucked the pen into his fading pink hair. “I’ll be right back with your drinks.” He walked off then. After he’d tossed Ari another smile.

Ari kicked the man across from her gently. “You didn’t have to be  _rude_.”

He wasn’t the least bit phased by the attack, his face calm.

“I see you got fans everywhere, huh?” he accused with a shake of his head. “You got that boy nose wide the fuck open.”

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you mean by that.”

“Sure you don’t.”

“Here you go,” Jaden said as he dropped off their coffees, an intricately drawn heart drawn in the foam of the one he set down in front of her.

“Oooh, you’re getting better, Jay,” Ari beamed at him.

“Thanks. Be back with the food in a minute.”

“Nah, we ain’t gone keep doing this. Move over a little,” Erik announced as he got up and rounded the table and slid into her side of the booth.

“Wha- Erik,” Ari giggled, moving over for him as he sat next to her. “What are you doin’?”

Erik draped his arm around her shoulders, eyes on the doors Jaden had just walked through. “Little nigga needs to learn better customer service. You pretty as hell but we’re customers. And he’s too young for you.”

Heat flooded Ari’s face at the compliment but she pushed past it. Used to the way he offered them now.

“I mean he’s not  _that_  young,” she replied just to fuck with him. “It’s like, what? An eight-year gap? I’ve seen worse.” The mug of her cup hid most of her smile.

Erik stuck a stirrer in the cup before she could sip, wiggling it to ruin the design. “Oh yeah, didn’t take you for a cougar, Ari.”

“I’m a woman of many talents.” She cocked her head at him. “Are you….jealous, Stevens?”

Erik looked at her as if she smacked him.

“Jealous of Chuckie Pickles?” He kissed his teeth. “Try again, ma.” His face turned slick. “Besides, if your wristbands from last year are anything to go by, he ain’t got a chance in hell.”

Aurora blinked at that. What did he mean? “McScuse me?”

It was his turn to raise his brow. “The party you went to…you had on yellow. Did you even know what the colors meant?”

She shook her head. “I thought they meant I was good?”

Erik rolled his eyes at her. “It meant you were taken, Ari”

Her face fell comically flat. “Of  _course_  it did.” Jade was such an asshole.

Erik looked like he was about to say something before he pulled her more into him suddenly, making her look up.

“Uhh,” Jaden said as he came over to the table, eyes bouncing between the two as Erik moved even closer to Ari. “Here you go. Did you guys need anything else?”

Shit-eating was the only way to describe Erik’s smile as he looked down at Ari.

“Nah, I’m good. You need anything else, Princess?”

She fought hard not to roll her eyes. “We’ll let you know, Jaden. Thanks.”

“Yup,” he said, making a hasty getaway, making Erik’s body quake with silent laughter.

“Cut it out,” she shoved him gently, trying not to laugh herself.

“You not even mad. You cut it out.”

She reached up and poked him in the dimple. “You  _really_  are jealous, kid.”

Erik caught the digit between his teeth making her yelp more in surprise than actual pain. He recoiled his teeth, sucking gently in apology, tongue lapping against the pad before he let it go.

“Eat your food,” he reprimanded, picking up his own fork.

Like it was no big deal.

It took a second for her fried brain to reboot itself, all the nerve endings in her body feeling like they flooded to the moist finger she still had hanging in the air. The sensation of Erik’s mouth and tongue still skittering across her skin. She forced herself to move, grabbing the bottle of strawberry syrup next to her and drizzling some over her french toast, body still recuperating.

She was better by the second piece. Calming down enough to not feel some semblance of normal. Meanwhile, Erik was cool as a cucumber, half of his omelet already decimated.

_Aggy negro._

Duck bacon would make her forget. Aurora bit into the salty goodness of her bacon, body wiggling in her seat in happiness. This shit was bomb. She tried to stop in any time they featured in on the menu.

Erik chuckled next to her. “That good, huh?”

Aurora blinked up at him before she held out the strip in an offering. “Try it yourself.”

He maintained eye contact as he leaned down to take a bite, his soft lips brushing against her fingers making her thighs clench involuntarily. He chewed still watching her as she watched the sensual way his mouth moved. Kailoni had been right. He def had pussy pillows.

“It’s good.”

Ari’s eyes popped up to his, noting they were a touch darker. “I-I know,” she stuttered before shoving the rest of the meat into her mouth, wanting to staunch the word vomit she could feel coming.

“How’s the book process coming along?” Erik asked, picking up a piece of his omelet to offer her. “Still stressing you out?”

She didn’t hesitate to take the bite, the smells had been taunting her.

“Mm, yeah,” she replied as she chewed. “We’re actually setting up or a book tour.”

“Oh yeah? Did you do that last time?”

This was a good as time as any to talk about it, Ari knew, as he was already familiar with his work. So, she shared the upcoming plan with him. The venues, interviews, planned social media platforms. She unpacked all the information on him, while they traded bites of food. And she felt  _better_  about it. Erik’s genuine interest sparking excitement in her that wasn’t there before. She became giddy, telling him how excited she was to finally see her readers face to face and get some feedback on her work. She had read some reviews online for her last anthology but she hadn’t had a chance to really interact with anyone. This was her chance to get an outside perspective on something she was immensely proud of.

The stretch of silence when she finished had her feeling like she may have bored him. But his face was patient, smiling that private smile he’d had all day. It was driving her insane.

“What?”

“You gone sign my copy this time?”

Aurora blinked at him for a second before her expression mirrored his.

“I’ll think about it.”

They finished up their meals, ordering a second round of coffee to go as Ari filled him in on other things that had happened during the week.

Including the mess that was Jade and Kamia.

“Sounds like your friend is having a hard time accepting something good,” he’d chimed in as they bent the last corner on their journey home.

“Tell me about it,” Ari bemoaned. “The whole fucking thing has me feeling exasperated even when I’m not there. Jade needs to just accept the shit that sitting in front of her instead of running away from it because she’s afraid of how she feels.”

Erik nodded his head as the walked up the stairs, swiping them both in.

“Sounds like someone else I know.”

She turned her head at that, ready to ask who it was and see if he knew how to get them both to  _move the fuck along_. When they both spotted the Super coming out of the elevator maintenance closet.

“Yo,” Erik called out to the older man. “Can we get an open up for 12A?”

Jerry nodded, pulling the keyring out of his pocket. “I was on my way up to the penthouse anyway.” He shook his head with a scowl. “Candice and her damn upgrades again.”

They all laughed and entered the elevators.

“Aye Jerry,” Erik began, mischief painted across his face and Ari immediately knew whatever he was gearing to say was about to be some bullshit. “We should file any grievances with you, right? Report any suspicious activity?”

The older man nodded. “That falls under my job description, yeah. What’s up?”

“Well, I think we may have a thief in the building. I’m missing a few articles of clothing.”

_Not the fuck he is **not!**_

Jerry turned to him then, his expression serious. “Can you describe them for me?”

Aurora promptly stepped on Erik’s toes.  _Hard._

She smiled sweetly at the confused man as Erik doubled over, pained laughter filling the cab as they stopped on the twelfth floor.

“Don’t worry about him, Jer. He’s just a little confused.”

“Right,” Jerry said as they got off and made their way to her door. He unlocked it, still looking between the two with suspicion. Ari’s face entirely too innocent. Erik’s full of suppressed laughter. They both thanked him, waiting until he walked down the stairs to burst out laughing.

“I’m going to fucking  _kill_  you!” she threatened hotly.

“Chill, Princess. It was just a joke.”

“Whatever! Go get my shit. It’s the  _least_  you could do.”

Erik laughed himself all the way back to his apartment.

Aurora let out a breath of relief as soon as she entered on her own apartment. Staying with Erik had been fun but there was nothing like being  _home_. She went over to her electric kettle, filling it up to make a cup of tea, just to settle her in. The rest of her day was free and she thought over how to spend the time. There was no doubt a few emails sitting in her queue that needed to be answered, and she had to stop over and Jade’s to pick up her keys later, but outside of those few errands she had nothing else.

Maybe she could see what Erik was going to do.

The man in question entered her apartment then, her bag and shoes in his hand as he pocketed his cellphone.

“Thank you,” she said, taking the items from him. “I’m going to wash your underwear and return them to you so you can  _stop_  calling me a fuckin’ thief.”

He smirked at her, dimples on display. “Keep em, Princess. I’m sure they looked better on you,” he winked.

“Uh huh,” she rolled her eyes. “You want some tea or you have something else planned?”

_Smooth, Ari._

“Actually I wanted to know if you were still down to go to Desia’s birthday party.”

She turned back towards him, a mug in her hand. “That’s today?”

He nodded. “Yeah, my bad. I meant to tell you earlier.”

Aurora loved birthday parties. And she was more than excited to meet the  _legend_ that was Desia. “Okay. Is there a dress code?”

“Nah, it’s going to be at EightyTwo.”

A smile broke out over her face. She knew the retro arcade turned bar. “I  _love_  that place. Jade and I went a few months back and she’s still salty I beat her high score in Galaga.”

“Aight, I’ll pick you up in a few hours,” he confirmed as he tapped out a message on his phone, turning to leave.

“Hey,” she said grabbing him by his hoodie sleeve and pulling him over to her. She pressed up on her toes to kiss the bottom of his jaw quickly, his cologne making her head swim as it always did. “Thank you for letting stay with you. And for giving me your bed. And paying for breakfast.”

Erik stared down at her for a few seconds, before he nodded his head.

“Anytime.”

* * *

 

**Translations:**

**мишка**   - little mouse

 **Yatoni kanye ngoku?**  - what’s up now?

_drop me a comment, dolls._

 


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